Wrote this for the 2020 Valentine's Day fic/art exchange! (And then forgot to post it on ffnet until this morning; well done, self.) My secret giftee was Perhapsormaybe, who requested anything fluffy, "maybe involving Roxanne finding out she's pregnant and Megamind being over the moon about it." I thought, oooh, this is a challenge, I don't think I've ever interacted with this person before, I have no idea what her tastes are beyond fluff. And I've never written parents-to-be, and I'm…not altogether sure I know how to write Just Fluff, but what the heck, sure! I'll give it a shot.
Anyway, this was. the most difficult thing. that I have ever written. It took me until literally two days before the deadline to figure out the actual method by which this took place, so I was struggling against my whole (extremely biology-oriented) brain wailing BUT THEY CAN'T the whole time. It's science fiction, Brain! We do what we want! But that actually turned into sort of a fun premise with which to run, and so I ran with it, and this whole thing pretty much wrote itself. I didn't do a whole lot of planning but I think it turned out okay!
And it is VERY fluffy. I think.
When it Rains it Pours
The hum of the bathroom fan filters slowly back into Roxanne's bubble of awareness as her blank shock finally begins to fade and the world around her returns.
She's had a rough week. This isn't the first time in her life that she's had issues with nausea shortly after waking up—breakfast was an uphill battle for most of her life, until she figured out the trick about water with lemon an hour before eating anything substantial—but this is the worst it's been in a while. She isn't usually dry heaving first thing.
And then her period was late, and she couldn't think she was—not really, not seriously—Megamind isn't—he isn't human! Not even remotely related to humans! And the conversation they had shortly after they started dating, about fertility and birth control and whether it was necessary—
"Granted, I haven't done any genome mapping," he said, "and I'm not entirely sure how all of this," gesturing vaguely up and down at himself, "works. But hybridization really only works between members of the same genus, and even then only sometimes, so as nice as it would be to start a family—and I would love that, believe me—I'm afraid it won't be possible. We are almost certainly genetically incompatible. Children aren't an option, for me."
"Well, that's okay," Roxanne said, "we can look into fostering, adoption, surrogacy—" She stopped. Megamind was shaking his head.
"Roxanne, I'm a convicted felon," he said. "I can't even vote. Do you seriously think any agency, private or public or medical, is going to let me anywhere near a child?"
And that was that. Roxanne herself always imagined she would one day have children, but after doing some soul-searching and talking with a therapist, she decided she isn't so committed to the idea of motherhood that she would give up her relationship. Not this particular relationship, anyway.
Which is—funny, really, considering who her boyfriend is and how they got started together. Roxanne didn't even realize how invested she was until the whole babies thing was shot down and she was forced to make a choice.
"At least it's early," Megamind said at the time. "At least you haven't wasted much time on me, yet."
He wasn't fishing for compliments, either. He's—rather heart-breakingly sincere when he says things like that.
"Don't start," Roxanne replied. "At least give me some time to think about it."
But he was wonderful. He is wonderful. Easily the best partner Roxanne has ever had. He's funny, he's romantic, he's supportive. He listens to her and he cares enough about what she says to remember. And the wonder in him, the sheer joy of living he exudes sometimes—it takes Roxanne's breath away to see him, sweeps her off her feet all over again every time he lights up about something new.
She loves him. Time with Megamind is not time wasted. It never was.
And this, this stick in her hand, this—on one hand, Roxanne is overjoyed to maybe have a chance at this dream she thought she had laid aside for good. To maybe have her cake and eat it, too. But on the other hand…
Megamind has spent his life under the assumption that he would never, could never have children. And yes, he said all those months ago, I would love that, but…well, there's a big difference between loving the idea of something you think you'll never have anyway, versus coming to grips with loving the idea of something life-changing that will be here in nine months, ready or not.
Well. Will might be a little strong. Roxanne is pregnant but Megamind is an alien; this may not even be viable, long-term. She may not be able to keep it. There's that to consider, too.
But she wants to keep it. More than she ever realized she would. And therein lies another problem: if Megamind is happy, and they lose the pregnancy, this would gut him. It would cut his legs right out from under him; she already knows family is a fraught subject, for him. She would be devastated, too, of course, but—
Roxanne bites her lip and stands up from the edge of the tub and drops the pregnancy test into a Ziploc baggie after rinsing it off and drying it.
She wants, desperately, to know if the embryo is healthy so far. If it's growing. And she has no idea how much a human doctor will be able to tell her at this stage, so…
She stares down at the little plastic stick in its baggie on her bathroom counter, at the two lines glaring up at her, and draws a shaky breath, releases it slowly.
She's going to need help.
"Thanks for coming on such short notice," she says, opening the balcony door. "I really, really appreciate it."
"Oh, no worries," Minion says cheerfully as he climbs off the hoverbike and cloaks it. "I was going to be out running errands today, anyway; it was no trouble. What's going on? Is everything okay?"
Minion has been lovely. He had some reservations at the beginning of Megamind and Roxanne's relationship, but even then he was still friendly and polite to her. And helpful, surprisingly so in Roxanne's case. Recently he even seems to have almost adopted her; he keeps sending small flocks of brainbots to coordinate her dishes and laundry from afar. The two of them have grown closer than she was ever expecting them to over the past months.
"Minion," she says, speaking slowly and hoping, praying this is the right thing to do, "I need your help. I really don't want to hurt Megamind with this if I don't have to."
He freezes, his eyes going big and worried. "What?" he says. "Hurt him—with what, what's—Miss Ritchi, what—"
"You should sit down."
Slowly, carefully, he sits down on the sofa. He never takes his eyes off her.
Roxanne swallows hard. Nothing else for it. She takes a long, slow breath, and then she says. "I'm pregnant."
Minion blinks, recoils. "What?" he exclaims. "You're—but you, I thought you—but he's—" He stammers for a few seconds and then blurts, "Whose is it?"
She smiles a little. "It's Megamind's." She isn't upset about the question—after all, this is supposed to be impossible. She had even wondered, herself, for a few bewildered and bewildering seconds this morning—she knows she hasn't seen anyone else, hasn't slept with anyone else, would never, but—
Minion goggles at her for a moment. Then sort of—gulps—and asks, "Are you sure?"
Roxanne collapses onto the sofa beside him with a helpless shrug. "There's no one else's it could be."
He doesn't question her, just sits next to her in stunned silence for a few seconds before saying "Oh. I see."
After a moment longer, he quietly adds, "Oh, dear."
Roxanne bites her lips together, feeling tears rise in her eyes. She curls forward and puts her face in her hands.
It's only been a few months. Not even a year. And she feels so safe with Megamind already, even with all their sordid history and their misunderstandings, and—she—wants to go on feeling that way, wants to go on feeling safe and in love with him. Wants to be able to call Minion when she doesn't know what to do. Wants to go on with them in her life.
"Thank you for telling me, first," Minion says, still quiet. Roxanne nods.
"I um. I thought, I thought I should," she says to the floor, not sitting up, "in case…if, if he's happy about this, and it turns out not to be viable, then—he's going to need you."
Minion nods. "Absolutely. A hundred percent, Miss Ritchi, I get it. I imagine you both will."
"Also," she says, shakily, "I was hoping you might—do you—how much of his biology do you know?" She gulps. "He didn't think this was possible at all; is there—god, I just want to know if it can survive long enough for us to—I just, I want to know. I—because if it isn't, if this really is impossible, if—if we know it's not going to work past a certain point—"
Minion puts a big metal hand on her back and pats gently, and that's all it takes for Roxanne to finally dissolve into tears. She turns toward him and wraps her arms as far around his torso as they'll go, mashes her face against his chest.
"Minion I'm scared," she chokes. "What-what if—what if he isn't happy, what if it's not—what if it isn't—"
"Miss Ritchi," Minion says, carefully tipping her head back with a thumb under her chin and leaning her away from him, "Sir will be thrilled. Over the moon. I promise. And if he isn't, I am, and I will yell at him until he is, too."
She sniffs, sends him a very wobbly smile. "Not-not sure that's how it works," she whispers.
He smiles back, bracingly. "I know. But also," he adds, "yes, I do have…um, my own ways of telling whether the zygote is healthy so far. How far along are you?"
"I have no-no idea," she hiccups, trying to focus. Minion puts his hand on her shoulder instead. "Um. I'm-I'm only a few days late, so…um…not more-more than five weeks?" It really is difficult to say. She and Megamind have a very active sex life.
"We'll keep track," Minion says, sounding like he's doing his best to be reassuring. "We can keep track, Miss Ritchi. We, um—we will need to go swimming, though."
Roxanne blinks up at him. "Swimming? Together?" Minion nods. "What…is that going to entail?"
He smiles bracingly. "Nothing that will keep you from wearing a bathing suit the entire time," he assures her. "At—at this stage, at least. Further down the road…well, we'll see. It may not be necessary."
She breathes. "Okay," she says. "Okay. That's—okay, then. Now?"
"We can go now. Sir is deeply embroiled in—um, in his current project; he won't ask questions as long as we avoid his workspace."
Roxanne bites her lip, then nods and stands up. "Okay," she says again, feeling a bit steadier about the whole thing now that she has someone else in the loop. "Okay. I'll go—pack a bag. And then we can go. Or—oh, you said you had errands?"
Minion shakes his head at her. "They'll keep. Let's do this instead." He smiles a little. "Or else I won't be able to stop thinking about it, and probably neither will you."
He is. Not wrong.
"Okay," he says, leading her down to the massive saltwater reef pool he and Megamind keep for recreation and to help them feel a little more at home in the world, "now, Miss Ritchi, I'm going to go ahead and, um, and get in. And, and when you're ready, you can—join me."
"And you're sure you don't mind," Roxanne says again, for probably the tenth time.
"I'm sure," he says firmly as he locks the suit into position for two of the amphibious brainbots to remove his dome. "Yes, Ma'am, absolutely sure."
Despite his assurances, he does seem nervous. So is Roxanne. She's gone swimming on the reef a few times before, but always with Megamind, and only twice with him and Minion together. What they're doing today, what she's about to do, seems—not intimate, but—strangely personal.
She folds her clothes as she removes them, stacking them on one of the reefside benches so she can get into her bikini. One thing she knows Minion doesn't care about is nudity, which is reassuring. Also reassuring is his knowledge that Roxanne does care about nudity, specifically with regard to people who aren't Megamind and their proximity to her.
Unless those people are Minion, of course, because he's technically always nude. Still, it is weird to see him out of his suit like this.
Two steps down in, she crouches and dives forward and down, eyes open. The initial sting fades after only a few seconds, and then she's able to see comfortably, if blurrily. Minion is bioluminescent, so he's easy to pick out among the fish on the reef. Currently, he appears to be teasing Chapel, the nurse shark who generally spends her days poking around the floor of the tank. That's okay; Megamind said she's a "good sport" when Roxanne expressed concerns about swimming with a shark longer than she is tall in the tank. Roxanne pats the surface of the water a couple times to get Minion's attention, and his blurry little shape approaches a couple seconds later.
"Hi!" he exclaims, and she waves and then surfaces, treading, as Minion pops onto the surface and floats there. "Now, Miss Ritchi," he says, tone brusque as it always is when he's nervous, "you've been working on your lung capacity. How long can you hold your breath?"
"Nearly two minutes," she replies. She started practicing holding her breath as she goes to bed every evening she doesn't spend at Evil Lair after she realized her boyfriend was semiaquatic.
Minion nods. "That should be just long enough. I'm, um. So, we're going to submerge along the wall at the far end; it has handholds. You're—going to need to be on your back for this. For me to get an, an accurate reading? And, and so you'll—dive, about eight feet, and then roll over and I'll—um, kind of—come down and rest on your stomach? Lower stomach?"
He isn't comfortable with this. Roxanne can tell. "If you don't want to—"
"Miss Ritchi if you ask me if I'm sure about this one more time I'm going to bite you," he snaps. "I will, I really will. I want to know if the—if it's okay, too. We're doing this."
Her lips twitch. "Okay," she says. "Sorry, Minion. And thank you."
She follows him over to the wall and grips it for a minute, breathing deeply. Minion flicks his pectoral fins anxiously while Roxanne hyperventilates, but he stays at her side, and she loves him for it.
Go time.
Roxanne follows Minion down the wall to depth, where she stops and turns and rolls over so she can shove her feet out and arch her back. She has to grip the handhold with only one hand so she can pinch her nose with the other and keep herself from getting a saltwater sinus rinse, but—
Minion's cool weight settles ticklishly against her skin below her navel, his ventral tendrils splaying over her belly. His eyes are closed and he is terribly blurry, but—he doesn't look like he's in pain, so that's good. It's just that Roxanne has never seen him touch anyone, even Megamind, except for the time Megamind lifted him out of the fountain and into a polyethylene pail of salt water (kindly provided by one Mrs. Vogelstein, who lived in an apartment overlooking the square and refused to evacuate during the Titan Incident because doing so would have required her to leave her fish). And Roxanne is quite sure he isn't happy about all this, but—but he did say he wanted to—he volunteered, he told her what she needed to do, he's—
—smiling?
Minion lifts off again, his little face split by his wide, sharp-toothed grin. "It's okay!" he cheers, as Roxanne swings upright and kicks upwards. He rises with her, circling her like a tiny moon, beaming the entire time. "So, far, at least, but it's—healthy, growing! I don't understand it but it's okay!"
Roxanne breaks the surface, gasping. "You're sure?" she says, when she can breathe. "Minion, are you—are you sure?"
He nods wildly, bobbing on the surface with her. "Yes, yes—it's fine! All fine! We should—we should keep an eye on it, do this again periodically, especially in these early stages, but—yes!"
The wash of relief at this confirmation is dizzying. "Oh, thank God," she gasps, hooking an arm up onto the floor so she can hang there without worrying about treading. "Thank God. Minion, you're the best, how did you—how do you know?"
"These are ganglia," he says, with a meaningful glance downward. "Full of nerves, lots of them. And other things! I, my species, we—we can do things with DNA? With the autosomal elasticity there, that's—we can sort of—modify existing cellular structures? Activate other genes, other gene expressions, we—nevermind. The point is, I know. I know, I can tell! It's healthy! For-for now, at least," he finishes, his smile never slipping. "But I don't recommend telling Sir just yet. Maybe—wait a week or two? Just for a little while." He swallows. "Just so I can—track its early development, so I can be sure I'm able to make any adjustments that might be needed. It's fine for now, but I'm…not sure how that would work with your cells."
Roxanne nods. If he's right, if he's certain, then yes, this is…there's too much at stake. "Yes," she says. "Yes. I can do that, I can wait. To—to tell him." Even as she says it, though, she's wondering how she's going to manage it. Megamind is—
It's damned hard to lie to him. Not because he's good at telling when she's lying but because he honestly doesn't seem to have a duplicitous bone in his body; he's so forthright and up-front about everything. It's a miracle he was able to drag Bernard out for as long as he did.
But this is okay. This isn't a bad thing to hide, it's just…big, is all. And Roxanne really isn't sure how he'll take it. Probably he'll take it well! Probably. It's just, it's only been a few months and she already wants to stay with him for—the foreseeable future. Always. For always, basically, is how long she wants to stay with him.
She gets out of the pool and rinses with the freshwater hose, dries off, gets dressed, goes upstairs.
Yeah this is going to be hard.
Megamind is—delighted. To see her. Thrilled that she came to Evil Lair to surprise him. He hears her footsteps and he's on his feet and rushing to meet her before she even rounds the corner into Fuel Assemblies, where he keeps most of his welding gear.
"Roxanne!" he cries, catching her around the waist and swinging her into the air with all his exuberant, wiry strength. "You're here! I didn't know you were coming today!"
She laughs, caught up in his enthusiasm. "I wanted to surprise you," she says. "Pluses of having a self-employed partner, right? You're almost always home." She has her arms around his shoulders, their foreheads together, the tips of their noses brushing.
Megamind looks up at her through his eyelashes. "I love you," he says, "so very much. Do you know, I was remembering, today—the last time I was arrested," he says, "my uncles were worried about me."
The last time he was 'arrested' was shortly after the Titan Incident. It was more of a formality than anything, and not a true arrest anyway.
"Really," Roxanne says. He hasn't told her this before.
"Mm-hm," he says, ducking forward and kissing her quickly, stroking her back with his long, restless hands. "Yes. They said—Blue, they said, this is your first real relationship, and you need to remember what you want. Some people only want an experience, only want to take advantage. I think—I think the exact term my Uncle Vodier used was 'love them and leave them'?"
Roxanne makes a horrified noise in her throat and holds him closer. Megamind hums and slides his arms around her back, hugging her. He lays his head down on her shoulder.
"I told them you aren't like that," he says, nuzzling comfortably into the side of her neck. "I said, I know her better. She wouldn't do that to me, she wouldn't hurt me."
Roxanne squeezes him and leans her head sideways against his, a hard pulse of love running through her. "No," she whispers. She lifts a hand to smooth over the back of his head, the warm curve of skin and bone, and Megamind hums happily. "No, I wouldn't. Not if I can help it. Hey, can I, um. Can I stay here, tonight? With you?"
Megamind straightens up and blinks at her, then beams, wide-eyed and pleased, and confused. "Yes," he exclaims, as she moves her hand to the sharp edge of his jaw. "Yes, of course! I would like nothing more!"
Roxanne smiles and kisses him again, teases his lips with her tongue this time, smiles when he hums her closer and opens his mouth for her. She kisses him for a while like that, open-mouthed and wet, enjoying how he presses himself against her in response.
"I'm so lucky," she murmurs as she breaks the kiss. Megamind makes a gentle sort of noise, vague and questioning. "I have the best boyfriend in the history of boyfriends. What are you working on?"
He opens his eyes, then kind of—chokes—and steps back, straightening his clothes. "A surprise! It's a surprise. You aren't allowed to know about it, yet, my dear!" Then he pauses, looking suddenly guilty. "And I should really keep going on it," he adds, "if I'm going to have it finished by—"
He cuts himself off and Roxanne tips her head at him. "By…?"
"By—um, Valentines Day?" he says, pinkish color rising in his cheeks and up to the tips of his ears. "I want to have it done by then. For you. So—so I should get back to it! Unless there was something else you wanted to do?"
She shakes her head, smiling at him. A surprise for her? It's for her? "No, that's fine," she says. "I'll see you tonight, love."
Usually that's all the prompting he needs, but today he pauses, cocks his head. "Are you sure?" he asks. "You seem…is everything okay?"
"I'm fine," she assures him, surprised he would ask but still smiling. She steps back from him, shrugging her purse higher on her shoulder. "You go do your project, I'll be back tonight."
Megamind studies her for a moment, then smiles back and nods. He ducks forward and kisses her again quickly before waving her out of sight.
She lies closer to him than usual, that night. Megamind can sort of sense something is—wrong, but—he can't tell what it is. Everything seems fine overall, and Roxanne seems more than happy to kiss him and slide into his arms, set her mouth on his throat and her hand between his legs—more than happy to let him take care of her, too, moaning and then crying out for him. And afterwards, she settles into his arms with a soft sigh and a smile, so…so maybe nothing is wrong, then? Not wrong; maybe something is just—different? Different isn't bad, necessarily.
Different is scary, though. Megamind likes things the way they are, likes Roxanne the way she is, which is happy with him. He does not want her to be discontented with him. She's never asked to stay the night, before, and as lovely as it is to know she wants to be here even without a date or anything prior to give her an excuse to stay…
There's something searching in the kisses she gives him now, something hard and desperately wanting, and Megamind doesn't know what to do. Or how to ask. He does ask again, as they settle in to fall asleep with Megamind draped over her back, his arm under her pillow, if she's all right. She tells him yes, she says she's fine.
He does his best to hold her as tightly as he can, to offer reassurance without words against whatever it is she can't say. Whatever is wrong or different…maybe it will pass, soon.
It doesn't pass. In fact, from where Megamind is standing, it gets worse.
On one hand, Roxanne is staying over at Evil Lair nearly every night, now, which Megamind isn't complaining about at all. Having her there with him is—the best thing. Most wonderful thing in the world. He can smile at her and tell her he loves her almost as often as he thinks of it, which is a lot! He can see her so much, now. And she always jumps and laughs when he sneaks up behind her and pinches her gently in the side, and she kisses his nose.
When she comes up behind him on soft feet and turns his high-backed chair away from his drawing board, he freezes for a moment, but she braces her hands on the chair's arms and leans down, smiling without saying anything, until Megamind tips his head back and leans up to kiss her soft smile. And he thinks, then, as he lifts the hand that isn't holding a pencil to touch her jaw, he's never felt so contentedly settled or at home in his life.
But on the other hand, Roxanne also keeps staring into space at odd intervals, and sometimes she seems like she's about to say something and then she says something different, and—
And so he's worried.
Everything at work is fine, she says. Her family is fine, she says. She's fine, she says.
She's fine, she says, even though Megamind has found her getting sick in the toilet more than once early in the morning. He knows she's had problems with her stomach before, but not like this—he didn't think her problems were this bad? Usually just nausea, he thought. Maybe he was wrong, though, maybe she's—sick. Maybe she's sick? Ill?
She isn't fine. But Megamind can't call her on it, doesn't know how to say you aren't fine I know you aren't fine please tell me what's wrong, please tell me so I can help, I want to help. Can't figure out how to say that without sounding like all he's saying is liar. And Megamind knows what it feels like to be called liar, and—
And if this is a white lie, then it's okay, right? It's okay. Maybe it's okay.
It's not okay. Roxanne is definitely sick. Megamind does something he swore once he would never, ever do, and tracks Minion's suit a couple times when Roxanne asks him for a lift.
Minion takes her to the hospital campus. Both times.
And both times, Minion and Roxanne come back in what honestly seems like fine spirits, even though Megamind is nearly out of his mind with worry.
So—Roxanne is sick. She is. Sick enough to need to visit the hospital. Not the emergency room, not—but a doctor, at least; sick enough to see a medical professional. Okay, that explains what's been weighing on her, but—maybe she has it under enough control that he doesn't actually need to worry about this? If it was something he needed to worry about, Minion would have told him. Minion hasn't said a word.
Megamind can entrust this to Minion, can't he? He can. He will.
"Roxanne," he says, a week or so later, sitting on the sofa with her head on his shoulder and her legs across his lap, "you know I love you, right? You do know that, yes? With all my heart."
She leans away to look at him, blinking up from her book, puzzled. "Yes, of course," she replies. "I love you, too."
He swallows. "And—and I know," he says, nervously lacing his fingers together on her hip, "I know I'm—probably not anything like what you used to imagine your boyfriend looking like, but—I'm so glad you gave me a chance this way."
She puts an arm around him, rests her other hand flat on his chest. "Megamind, sweetheart, what's wrong?"
"I don't know," he says, his voice going rough and his eyes going bright. "I don't know. You won't tell me."
Roxanne's expression changes, but—it goes soft, not angry, the way Megamind was afraid it might. She leans her head forward and rests it against him, again, and he breathes, sliding his arms around her back. "I know," she murmurs, finally. "Just…just give me time? Just a little more time. I'll tell you, sweetheart, I promise."
He nods and tightens his arms around her, holds her close, and worries.
Roxanne wants to tell him. She does. But she is also scared: scared that he'll be upset, and almost even more scared that he'll be happy and then she'll lose the thing she's starting to think of as a baby.
But—Minion keeps saying it's healthy, keeps saying the progression is viable and the sequencing makes sense, will express itself in a way that will allow for life on Earth. He continues to swim with Roxanne every three days or so and check on things. Roxanne is working to make room in her budget to buy herself some proper scuba gear; in the meantime, she's getting really good at holding her breath.
Eventually Minion says he's feeling positive enough about the developmental outlook that Roxanne should be safe to tell Megamind. Incredibly, that only serves to make her feel more anxious. Because what if Minion is wrong?
But she can't drag this out much longer, she knows that for sure. It's early February, so she's wearing a lot of loose sweaters, but—well, she only has so many loose sweaters to wear, and she's starting to miss her blazers.
Megamind holds her just as tightly as he always does, at night. He tells her he loves her, he reaches to take her hand, he lights up every time he turns and sees her. Roxanne can tell he's worried, and she feels terribly about it, but every time she opens her mouth to tell him, her voice shorts out. She can't make the words happen.
It's okay, she tells herself. It's going to be okay.
Valentine's Day, she tells herself. She'll tell him then, if not before. That's the last day of this. He has something for her and she can give this to him, can't she? The good news? Minion says the little thing's split respiratory systems are diverging normally; she can give him this. She has to tell him, she has to. It's only a few days away; she can figure this out before then, she can. She can.
And then the day arrives, and she still hasn't figured out how to tell him. She will! Somehow. But for now it's easy enough to put out of her mind because Megamind surprises her with reservations at Le Cœur Brisé, the restaurant where the Bernard illusion shattered apart.
Roxanne is honestly stunned by this. "Really?" she says, when he reveals where they're going as they pull into the parking garage one street over. "Really, you want to go back there?"
He hums. "It's a nice place," he says. "I want a good memory of it. I keep thinking—well. I want to remember it in a good way, and this—and we do have a history with it. In, in our relationship. Sort of?" He's sounding increasingly uncertain. "It's—well, not a—good history, but—I thought, it was—part of us, so I, I thought it would—would you like to go somewhere else? I can—"
Roxanne takes his hand, laughing quietly. "This is lovely," she says. "And it's a wonderful idea. I think a do-over sounds like a perfect date."
He falls into step beside her, tucking her hand into the crook of his elbow and syncing his footsteps with hers without appearing to think about it. He keeps his other hand over hers on his arm, pressing her there just firmly enough to warm her, not so hard that he's keeping her there. Megamind would never try to keep Roxanne, not if she didn't want to be kept, and she knows this.
"You're sure this is okay?" he asks, as they cross the street towards the door of the restaurant. "We can go somewhere else, if you want to. We really can; I'm sure I can find somewhere."
"No," Roxanne says, smiling. "No, I like this. It's a good idea. I like this do-over idea, I really do."
"I really love you," he says, squeezing her fingers and then releasing her so he can hold the door for her. Then he laughs, too, as he follows her inside. "And! It looks like it might even rain!"
"So it does," Roxanne agrees, shrugging out of her coat and handing it off to the valet. Megamind does the same and slips the ticket into his pocket, glancing around a little bit nervously, the way he always does in an unfamiliar, crowded space.
And as far as crowds go, La Cœur Brisé is packed. Of course it is—today is Valentine's Day, and this is a French bistro in the heart of downtown Metro City. The name may translate to the broken heart but it's extremely popular for dates, and it is a well-reviewed establishment. Most of the reviews are genuinely good.
Deservedly so, it turns out. The last time they were here, Megamind's disguise slipped just after their drinks arrived, so neither of them is sure what the food will be like. It's good, it really is, and Roxanne teases Megamind gently about the presentation of the meals—their server must have said something to the kitchen; the sauce is drizzled over Megamind's plate in lightning-bolt shapes—and Megamind laughs and teases her right back, and he steals the decorative orchid bloom he knows she won't eat off her plate and pops it in his mouth whole, sticks his tongue out at her with the flower on it before he swallows it.
But Megamind can't actually relax enough to truly enjoy his meal very well, when the conversation and laughter ebb for a while. He can't—he can't focus on it. He knows he's jittery, but he also knows his reasons for being jittery—he knows what he has planned for later. It's enough to make anyone jittery. He's going to go through with it, because Minion has remained absolutely adamant that Roxanne loves him; no, nothing is wrong; this is a good idea, Sir; she's going to say yes. Yes, I'm sure. No, I won't tell you why. And Minion…tends to be a reliable enough touchstone when it comes to Roxanne.
But the trouble is, Roxanne is similarly jittery; Megamind can tell, and he still has no idea what her reasons might be. Any more than he has any understanding of why she's been pressing so close to him at night or why she unexpectedly turns up in Evil Lair so often, these days. He knows something is wrong, but he just can't figure out what it is.
She doesn't seem to be pulling away from him, but—but she could be saying goodbye? This could be her saying goodbye.
But—no, no, he tries to tell himself as his heart shivers in his chest, Minion would surely have tipped him off if something was really that wrong. Either in the relationship or with Roxanne, physically.
Oh—unless they don't want to worry him? Unless they don't want to worry him. Minion would hide it from him, then, Megamind is pretty sure. Megamind has been hiding his own worry from Minion and Roxanne to the very best of his ability because he doesn't want to worry them on his behalf; are they—are they doing the same thing—?
You're only thinking this way because you're already anxious, he scolds himself. Everything is probably fine except for Roxanne, who went to the hospital again yesterday, the third time in two weeks.
Megamind keeps up his end of the conversation impressively well despite his gathering agitation, but as the food on their plates dwindles, Megamind's ability to converse finally begins to falter to the point where Roxanne notices. Or, maybe she noticed a while ago, but can't ignore it anymore? Maybe—maybe—
Stop, he thinks at himself. Stop. stop. stop.
His brain refuses to listen to him. As usual. When it's spiraling like this.
"Megamind," Roxanne says, "something's wrong. What's going on? Are you okay?"
His gaze snaps to her. She's haloed and her edges are too sharp, the way his vision always goes when it tunnels, when his pupils pin tight.
"You need to talk to me," he blurts, before he can stop himself. "You—need to talk to me. I can't—Roxanne, you—need to talk to me."
She blinks at him, then swallows and finally puts down her fork. "You're right," she finally sighs. "I do." She frowns down at her plate for a moment, smoothing her manicured hands over the white tablecloth on either side of her place setting. "I—I really, really do, and—thank you, by the way," she adds, looking briefly up at him before dropping her gaze again. "Thank you for letting me take time, thank you for not pushing me about this."
Megamind gulps. "Of course," he says, his voice light despite the way his heart is clawing at his throat. Today was wonderful overall, this evening has been fine, nice even, it really has; he just—he's been so worried, so worried, and—is she sick, is she dying, is she—
Roxanne pinches her lips together for a moment and stares down at the tablecloth. Finally she says, "Do you remember when we talked about…about, um. Family planning? A while ago?"
All of the blood drains out of Megamind's face and the world falls away around him. This is not where he had imagined tonight going. This—god, no, she—she realized, she wants—and he can't— "Yes," he whispers, numb with horror. "I remember."
But the last word cracks in the middle, and Roxanne looks up, then blinks at him. "Whoa, hey," she says. She reaches across the table, her hand out. "Hey, no, what…Megamind, what did you hear me say, just then?"
He gulps and presses his palm down against hers, and Roxanne's warm fingers close around his hand, grounding him. The world returns, somewhat. "Are you—are you not breaking up with me?"
She recoils, grips his hand even harder. "What? No! Absolutely not, no, I love you!"
Megamind releases the breath he hadn't known he was holding and slumps forward. Roxanne reaches out with her other hand, now, too, so she can hold onto him with both. "Megamind," she says, sweeping her thumbs back and forth over his blue skin. "Megamind, I love you. And you are—the best partner I've ever had and I love you so much; I absolutely am not leaving you." Megamind nods and squeezes her back, fluttering his grip rather than squeezing so hard he'll crush her hand, still breathing hard, trying to get himself back under control. "It is nothing like that, sweetheart, I swear, I—oh, no; have you been worried about that this whole time?"
He shakes his head. "No, no—it's not—not that, not the whole time, I just—you wouldn't say, and I thought—we seemed okay, but you—when you said, family planning, I thought, you want more, more than I could give you—"
Her hand goes stiff in his. "I will never," she says, "want more than you can give me. Not so badly that I would turn from you over it."
"Never is a long time," he whispers.
"I know. But I know what I want, and it's you, okay? This isn't anything about that, sweetheart, I promise, we—we are fine. Truly."
Megamind searches her eyes for a moment, then nods. "But then what," he says, "what is wrong? You've had something on your mind, I know you have, and I didn't want to push you on it, but…"
Roxanne sends him a tremulous smile. "Nothing is wrong," she says. "Or—maybe nothing. Wrong isn't the word for it. Here—"
She reaches into her purse, which is small but contains a pocket dimension inside it, and pulls out a manila folder. "Tell me what you think of this?" she asks, handing it to him. "Call it…theoretical. For now."
He frowns at her in confusion but opens the folder. It contains two thick packets of paper, each containing the same sort of information but from what looks like wildly different sources. He thumbs through the pages, blinking rapidly as he always does when he's trying to absorb a lot of new information very quickly. Eventually he looks back up at her. "I don't understand. What am I supposed to be looking for, here?"
"What species are those, would you say?" she asks.
He cocks his head. "Well this one is human," he says, slowly. "And this one is…not. Same nucleotides, but the chromosomes aren't—they don't look like chromosomes? But these are comparative reports, so…I would guess…a metahuman? A super—probably a shapeshifter, it would almost have to be—or—or an exceptionally genetodivergent mutant, something like that. I'm…not familiar with this, I've never seen this before. I'm not exactly familiar with any of it, though," he admits, with a bemused little smile. "Roxanne, I'm not a geneticist. You know this."
She takes a deep breath and nods. "But could they—reproduce?" she asks. "Do you see any reason why they couldn't? Recombination projections are on page nineteen."
Megamind tilts his head the other way, blinking at her, but he turns his attention back to the papers in his hands. Their server quietly clears their dishes away, which gives him a little more space to spread out. Roxanne waits while he studies the pages she's given him. She's sitting very still.
Eventually he shakes his head. "With the caveat that, again, I'm not an expert on any of this—I mean, give me a week or two and I'll have a real answer for you. But, just from this, from what I'm reading here…I suppose they could. Potentially. If the timing was right."
Roxanne nods. "Okay," she says quietly. "Okay. That's—that's pretty much what I expected. Because, um. It's—" She presses her lips together. After a moment, Megamind extends his hand back across the tablecloth, offering. Roxanne takes it, and he gives it a reassuring squeeze, his green eyes wide with concern.
She takes a deep breath. Come on, voice. Come on.
"Um. The one on the left, the human one, that's me," she says, her voice wobbling. "And, and the other one…Megamind, that's you. Based on some samples Minion took. I didn't ask where he got them."
He blinks. His eyebrows twitch a couple of times, then pull into a confused frown as he turns that over in his head.
"But," he says, "but why would you…Roxanne, my genetic material isn't…"
Breathe. Come on. Breathe. "If I understand this correctly, it's—it, it adapts. Enzymatically. To sort of line up with what it's given. It turns itself into—into something that works with its environment. And it's highly recombinant, it—creates homologous sequences. Assembles itself into them, really."
Megamind squints at her for a moment—and then he stops breathing. His lips part.
"I'm pregnant," Roxanne finally tells him, knowing he's just understood her.
Megamind is pale. His eyes are going very wide.
"And it's yours," she whispers. She can't be sure, but she thinks he sort of twitches the beginning of what, but he never manages the word; he just stares at her with his eyebrows higher and his eyes wider than she's ever seen them. She smiles a tentative smile, squeezes his hand again. "And Minion says it's viable," she says softly, and something breaks in half behind Megamind's eyes; his expression goes open and anguished around the edges. "I don't understand all the details, but he says—the synaptases, the recombinations they're building are—solid. Sensible. I caught this pretty early; we've been tracking its progress for the past couple weeks and he says the outlook is really good. My extremely confused OBGyn has been saying the same thing. …Please say something."
He's trembling. "—A baby," he chokes out, barely a whisper. "You're—we're—having a baby—?"
Roxanne nods, and Megamind pulls back, tugs free of her grasp. He presses both hands over his mouth for a second, staring at her. And then his whole face just—crumples, and he hides it in his hands as he curls over and down, shoulders shaking.
"It's okay," Roxanne murmurs, leaning forward so she can rub her fingertips over the top of his giant blue head. "It's okay. Are you happy?" Megamind nods wildly, hard, and moves to—
Well, Roxanne thinks he's standing up, so she pushes her chair out and starts to turn, but it turns out he's actually stumbling down onto his knees so he can hide his face against her lap with his head pressed against her stomach and his arms wrapped around her waist, long fingers twisting in the back of her dress. Roxanne is far too in love with him to be embarrassed about this, or even care much about the way people are staring. She's used to being stared at. She just strokes Megamind's head and his back, rubs her thumb in a little circle on his trembling shoulder. "Hey," she says softly, "hey. It's okay, love. It's okay. I wanted to tell you sooner but I wanted to at least try to make sure the—the development would have a chance to turn out, first. I'm so sorry I made you worry."
Megamind sniffs hard and looks up at her, his face awash with tears. He opens his mouth, starts to speak, chokes. Tries again, fails.
One of the servers approaches the table and Roxanne starts to bristle, starts to gear up to defend herself or her boyfriend, but the server only leans down and touches Megamind's shoulder, says something low and very quick in French. Roxanne's French is pretty terrible, but Megamind straightens a little and nods and rasps a response; Roxanne catches oui and merci, so this can't be a bad thing, can it? He takes something the server passes him and clears his throat, gulps hard. Scrubs at his eyes with the heel of his hand.
And once again Roxanne thinks he's starting to stand; he rises and braces one foot on the ground, balancing there on one knee, but—
Oh.
That's. A ring.
That's a ring Megamind is holding out in an open ring box, offering it to her, still choking on tears every time he tries to speak but gazing up at her and smiling a very trembly, hopeful smile regardless.
Oh, this—
But that's—
Oh, is that what he's doing, here? At this restaurant, this do-over date business, this—good memory thing he's trying to do? This—he was going to propose? He must have been; the server was in on it; that must have been the plan. He—
And oh, fuck, now Roxanne is crying, too, but she's nodding and Megamind is slipping his ring onto her finger and finally standing up and pulling her to her feet and into the biggest hug. Their bewildered audience seems to be giving them a round of applause, which is nice, but Roxanne can barely hear them.
The next few minutes are a blur. Megamind hands cash to the server, leaves cash on the table, Roxanne gathers up the papers and stuffs them into her purse. And then they're hurrying out into the rainy night with their arms around each other—Roxanne's arm around Megamind's shoulders, his arm around her waist—perfectly in step with each other, and Roxanne feels warm all over in spite of the cold, wet weather.
"A baby," Megamind gasps, as soon as they're out the door. "Roxanne—are you serious, are you serious? A baby, we're—we're having a baby?"
"We're sure going to try," she tells him, still reeling about the ring on her finger but doing her damnedest to stay focused on the Bigger Picture, which is, holy shit a hybrid. "I want this, I really do, I want—I want to have a baby with you, I just, I didn't think we could—"
"What if we can't," he blurts, his mind going straight to the same place Roxanne's did as he recovers from his shock. "What if—oh, god, Roxanne, what if—"
She grips his shoulder. "I want a lifetime of you," she says flatly, still hurrying through the rain with him. "Whatever that looks like, whatever that brings, I want it. All of it. And if it doesn't include kids, that's okay! You're enough for me. More than enough." She gulps. "It's just, if babies are possible, then I do also want those, you know?"
He lets out a sound like a very short, very hysterical laugh. "Okay," he chokes. "Okay? Yes. I—I know. I—yes.
"A baby?" he adds, again. "A baby, Roxanne, we're going to—you're pregnant. You're pregnant."
"I am," she agrees. "And—and we're engaged, oh my god, Megamind, you—we're going to get married!"
He stumbles. "Oh—we are! We—we are; you said yes. Wait, you—you said yes!" he exclaims, yanking his head back and turning to stare at her as they speedwalk through the rain in their formalwear. Roxanne has to try hard not to laugh at him for that one.
"Megamind, I'm wearing your ring! and I just said I want a lifetime of you, of course I said yes!"
"Oh my god I asked you to marry me and you said—you said yes! You did!" He darts in front of her, his whole face nearly bisected by the width of his startled, beaming smile as he seizes both her hands and twirls her around with him, just under the overhanging roof of the parking garage.
"We're getting married! I get to marry you! And—I get to be a dad! I'm—I don't think I could possibly be any happier than this, I—Roxanne I didn't think it was possible for this much happiness to even exist! I, I'm—I think I'm probably going to be—um, probably pretty amazed about this for a while," he adds, breathless. He releases her so he can stumble away a little, one hand pressed to his chest and the other to his forehead, still staring in stunned amazement. "Oh my god, oh my god I'm a dad, me, I didn't think—I never thought I could—" He gasps. "I get to show this kid how to use an arc welder! My kid!" he exclaims, and Roxanne snorts. "And how to do math without rounding! And how to swim! And how to chart the stars! And—" He breaks off, his joyful expression cracking somewhat around the edges as a thought strikes.
"And?" Roxanne prompts, after a long, frozen moment, already reaching for him. She knows that face.
Megamind's eyebrows pull together and his nose scrunches as he looks up at her, his eyes huge and suddenly swimming. "—And—and I'm not the last one," he says, and he bursts into tears all over again as Roxanne tugs him into a hug.
"Okay," she whispers to him, her arms around him. She's had nearly three weeks to process all this; Megamind has only had a few minutes. "You're okay."
"Yes—I'm okay I'm okay—it's just—it's just a lot—" He gulps, tries to clear his throat, squeezes his arms around her. "You said yes and we're having a baby and I get to keep you and I get to be a dad—" He lifts his head, suddenly looking startled. "Oh and I'm going to have to clone Minion," he realizes, sounding a little less tearful and a little more just completely shocked about this.
Roxanne extracts herself from his grasp in order to open the back door of the invisible car. Megamind is staring sort of through her, wide-eyed. "Come on," she says, scooting away across the seat and motioning him to follow. "Come on, neither of us is in any shape to drive."
He gulps and nods and ducks in after her, pulling the door closed behind him.
And then they're alone, finally, and they don't have to worry about standing anymore. Megamind sort of shakes himself and does something to his watch that Roxanne recognizes as summoning brainbots to drive them back to the Lair. Good; that means she doesn't have to think about how they're going to get home. She's calmer than Megamind but she is still feeling fairly shaky about finally getting the pregnancy out in the open, and Megamind is no better; his emotional center is bobbing up and down like a cork.
"Come here?" Megamind says. "I—oh—" This breaks and goes deep into a whickering thrum in his chest; Roxanne has just curled up and laid her head in his lap in an affectionate attempt to anchor him and give him something to do with his hands. Her left hand is resting on his knee; the ring he made for her glints a little in the muted light of the parking garage.
"You can freak out for a while," Roxanne murmurs, "It's okay."
Megamind tips his head back a little to rest on the back of the seat. He slides his fingers into her hair, rests his other hand on her shoulder. "I'm—it's just. A lot to take in," he says. "I really am—terribly happy about all this. I don't want to freak out."
She pats his knee, brushes her thumb back and forth over the material of his slacks. "I know. But if you need to, it's okay. It's just me, here."
"Thank you," he says, and moves his fingers through the soft strands of her hair.
He's quiet for a while, though. Eventually, a quartet of flocked brainbots tugs the front door open and starts the car. Two on the wheel, one each on the brake and the gas. Megamind stirs as they put the car into reverse.
"I spent so many years," he says, "thinking I was going to die, like that. In some battlesuit, at some point, or—an explosion, maybe. And now I get to live. And I get to have a wife, and…and a child? I get to live." He huffs a soft, incredulous laugh. "Unreal. I never would have believed it." Roxanne's hand on his knee goes tight, and he rolls his head on the back of the seat so he can gaze down sideways at her with a little smile. "Am I being maudlin? I'm sorry. Oh," he realizes, "oh, but I didn't actually ask you anything!"
Roxanne moves to look up at him. "Did you still want to?"
"Want to tell you how wonderful you are and then ask you to share your life with me? Of course," he says, stroking her bangs away from her forehead. "Of course. I always want to do that, Roxanne. You're the most amazing person I've ever known. I'm—constantly in awe of you, of—" He takes a deep breath and launches into what he started the evening intending to say.
"You don't wait for people to fix things for you," he says. "You go out and find your own answers and you don't stop until you're satisfied. You go and tackle the world yourself, with whatever you have—with everything you have—and—and I very much admire that. And you're so smart," he continues, unconsciously pressing his palm briefly to the curve of her skull and only realizing he's done it when he sees Roxanne's shadowy cheek move as she grins. "Smart, and driven, and—kind. It, it would be so easy for you to be cynical, with your job, but you aren't. You see so much good in the world, and you see so much hope in the world. And even, even in me.
"Roxanne, you changed my life, I mean—even back when I was kidnapping you, you were—you seemed—totally fearless. And knowing someone could wake up tied to a chair with me cackling in their face, and they could look me in the eye and call me a grandstanding moron with a napoleon complex—"
Roxanne laughs and grips his hand, the one that isn't in her hair, and brings it in so she can kiss the backs of his long fingers.
"I'm serious!" Megamind exclaims. "Now, I know you were afraid of me in the beginning, but—back then? My god, Roxanne.
"You gave me a lot to think about," he says. "No wonder I became so interested in you. You challenged my whole worldview. And now—" He swallows, and his voice goes a little bit raspy. "On top of, of how wonderful you are in general, you—took the time to stand with me, and Minion, too—and I know, I know it hasn't all been easy; Minion is a fussy worrywart and I get wrapped up in my projects and forget to call you—"
"—or eat, or sleep—" Roxanne chimes in, smiling into the dark of the car as the city lights drizzle past the windows.
"—yes, or that," Megamind agrees. "But you—Roxanne, you've—given a couple of very lonely aliens a home in this world." His hand tightens in hers. "I want you to know that. No matter what happens, no matter where we go from here…you've made such a difference. I'm home. Finally, with you. And, and I want to spend the rest of my life making a home with you. And a family. And a family. More than just us."
Roxanne sits up and scoots to sit close beside him with his arm around her, so she can draw him into a kiss and then lay her head back down—onto his shoulder, this time. Megamind turns and brushes his lips against her forehead.
"Yeah," Roxanne whispers, feeling very silly now for ever having worried about him reacting badly to her being pregnant. "Yeah, the rest of our lives and a family sounds just about perfect to me."
He hums happily and tangles his fingers with hers.
"And Minion said it's healthy?" Megamind murmurs, after a while. "I mean—viable? Even if the baby isn't healthy, I—as long as it can live, I still want—it's up to you, of course, but—"
"I'm with you," Roxanne says. "Sweetheart, we'll figure it out. But what about Minion himself?" she adds. "Earth doesn't have any sentient native fish for him to knock up. You mentioned cloning; is the baby going to need a minion?"
Megamind nods. "Almost certainly. Even if they don't…I'm not willing to risk it. That bond is vital. Literally. Minion and I would not have been able to survive without each other. And Earth does have sentient molluscs," he adds, "but Minion isn't interested in any of them. I've asked. Also, they tend to be…prohibitively large."
Roxanne makes an intrigued noise as she shifts around and re-settles herself against him. "Really? How big are we talking? Too big for the reef tank?"
"Yes," Megamind says. "Thirty to forty feet long, on average. Longer than a school bus."
"Holy cow," Roxanne exclaims. "How have I not heard about this?"
"Well, they're extremely secretive," he says. "You probably have heard of them, though. Or at least their closest relatives known to humans—I believe they would be in genus Architeuthis, with the giant squid."
"The—" Roxanne cuts herself off. "Huh. That's…huh."
He hums agreement. "And their pressure requirements are completely beyond Minion's capacity to handle. So: squid people, yes; viable mates for Minion, not so much."
She's quiet for a while. Megamind focuses on holding her against him, focuses on the warm weight of her body. Focuses on the knowledge that—he'll always have this. He'll always have this, she'll always—she loves him. She loves him and she's going to stay with him, she's going to stay. He gets to keep her; she wants him to keep her. And she isn't sick, isn't secretly dying. Nothing like that. She's pregnant; she's going to have a baby. A baby. And it's his, it's his child, she's carrying his child somehow—he can have children. His family is—it won't only be him and Minion. Not even only him and Minion and Roxanne. He's going to have children, he's going to have a family of him and Minion and Roxanne and their kids.
Wow doesn't begin to cover it.
Roxanne finally stirs in his arms as they pull into the loading bay doors and head for Main Storage. "So, cloning, then," she says. "We'll clone him?"
"If he's comfortable with that, yes." He yawns, stretches a little. The brainbots have successfully piloted them back to Evil Lair. "If not, we'll find an alternative. Move in with me?"
Roxanne sits back and blinks at him as the car shuts off. "What?"
He shrugs, grinning. "We're engaged and we're having a child. You've been at Evil Lair nearly every night for two weeks and I love having you around. Move in with me now. Why wait any longer?"
Roxanne doesn't even have to answer; the way she smiles and pulls him in for a hug is more than answer enough.
"Or I suppose I could move in with you," Megamind allows, tipping his head sideways and nodding a little to nuzzle against her, "but where would we put the brainbots?"
Roxanne laughs and gives him a quick squeeze, which Megamind takes to mean it's time to get out of the car. He starts to turn away and reach for the door, but—
"No, wait," Roxanne says, catching his elbow, "where are you going?"
Megamind turns back to her, one eyebrow cocked, inquisitive. "Is it not time to give Minion the good news?" He tilts his head, studying the embarrassed edges of her grin and the color rising in her cheeks as she puts her hands on his shoulders and moves to pin him back against the door. "Oh. Oh ho ho," he says, lowering his eyelids at her and smirking. "Yes, but Roxanne, sweet one, we have a bed."
Roxanne rolls her eyes at him. "Oh come on, I've finally got you into the back seat of the invisible car with me and—a bed requires no imagination! You just—to hell with the bed," she finally says, exasperated. "Come kiss me and—and let's just make out like a couple of teenagers, okay? Minion can wait."
Megamind snorts and shakes his head at her and leans in. "You're pregnant," he says, his teasing grin belied somewhat by the light in his eyes, "I'll indulge you."
Oh, thanks, is what Roxanne would say, but—she's busy.