If he was being honest, he didn't know where the feeling even originated
It probably has something to do with sympathy, but that was before. Before, Jared thought Shaun was nothing more than a burden on the team. Before, Jared and Shaun weren't friends. Before, Jared would easily, with pleasure, take credit for every effort Shaun had made to get recognition from their attendee. Before, Jared and Shaun never talked outside of work
Before, Jared never had feelings for Shaun
The feeling came in a flash. As time went by, everything started to change and everyone got used to the new quirky addition to their team (some would even joke about them finally being able to call themselves The Three Musketeers). Shaun slowly but surely climbed his way up to the top, through every shit they threw at him, yet he was resilient and stood his ground. By then, Shaun became one of the hospital's best resident alongside Jared and Claire
They all became friends, best friends even. Claire had learned Shaun's story one day during a break and Claire was quick to connect with him. Jared was happy with a new addition to their friendship circle and spent hours trying to plan elaborate secret friendship handshakes the three of them could do mainly to annoy Melendez. The three of them hung out more, sometimes with Melendez even, Jared and Claire helping Shaun with his social skills, Claire dragging two drunk fully grown men out of a bar because boys will be boys, Shaun beating them in arcade games that they were sure he never even played. They connected. It was a bond like none other. Surprisingly for Jared, he had connected the most with Shaun
Yeah that's probably where it started
The more time passed, the more they hung out, the more Jared became aware of Shaun. His tousled brunette hair was something hard to miss, the blue eyes that had an almost glimmering tint of green, his lean posture, it made Jared spontaneously stop in his tracks. One moment he was laughing along Shaun's terrible attempt at a joke, the next he started noticing these things
His bubbly laughter, his cute little arm flaps whenever he'd get excited, his small bounces whenever he took a step, they were adorable. Something in Shaun's happiness made warmth flow right through Jared's own insides and somehow he got butterflies in his stomach whenever Shaun came closer to him
Yep. Jared Kalu was in love with his coworker-slash-best friend, Shaun Murphy
"I need your help" Jared approached Claire alone one day during a break. While it was a great ride with Claire, both knew they were better off as friends. They were happier this way anyway
"And what is it?" Claire offered him a curious yet warm smile. Comforting and soothing, it made Jared feel alot better asking the question
"It's about Shaun" Claire quirked an eyebrow, really curious to see where this was going
"And what about Shaun? Did something happen?" Jared sighed
"Something did happen, but it's not what you think" It took Claire a few seconds to process the sentence and finally got the idea oh
"You mean?"
"Yeah. I'm in love with Murphy"
The room was quiet for a few minutes, each party had to properly process what was just said and heard. Claire was the first to speak
"Jared, that's great! You're finally coming into terms with your feelings, I'm so proud of you!" Her tone was laced with excitement and support. He wasn't exactly expecting that. Wait she knew?!
"Wait, you knew?!" Jared could feel his cheeks burning up. This was embarassing
"Kalu, honey, everyone could see you pining over boy genius from the beginning, even Dr. Melendez knew. You were just too stubborn with your feelings to outwardly admit it to yourself" He couldn't believe it. Everyone knew he had a crush on Shaun, except for him? These people are evil
"Yeah okay fine, I might have a thing for bouncy, bubbly, dorky but at the same time genius mastermind Irishmen with a taste for good games and tequila" Claire's smile turned warm, like a mother seeing her son to his first date
"Does Shaun know?" Jared tensed at the question. Oh how he hated that question
"Okay so, that's a problem. He doesn't... Really know" The room fell silent before Claire breathed out a heavy sigh
"Then go tell him!"
"Are you out of your mind, woman?! No, I'm NOT going to tell him!" Jared countered, annoyed at the sudden suggestion
"Why not?!" Claire was also at her limit at this point
"Well what if he doesn't feel that way, huh?! If I tell him, he's just gonna freak out! I'm gonna scare him off and he won't talk to me ever again! We won't be friends anymore!" Ah, alright, reasonable fear. Claire could see the sadness in Jared's droopy eyes. Every fire, every spirit he had all disappeared at the thought of Shaun cutting off all contacts with him because of his conflicting feelings
"Look, I get it sounds easy to you, Claire, but it's not! Shaun doesn't like abnormality. He likes things that make sense! That has its own place in the world! This? This does NOT make sense!" Jared continued, earning a sympathetic sigh from Claire
"Jared, you know Shaun isn't like that. Sure, he's not a big fan of unusual things but that doesn't mean he's gonna run off or something! Unless you're trying to intentionally hurt him, then yes he's gonna run off, but this isn't an attempt at that. We're talking about your feelings here, Kalu. What do you want?" Claire asked and it made Jared think everything through. What did he want?
'I want to tell him how I feel. I want him to accept it and maybe even have mutual feelings. I want to be with him. Maybe go out early in the morning to a quiet café for breakfast with coffee, hot chocolate, and pancakes cause he loves pancakes. I want to stroll down the quiet forest and just take in the fresh air with him by my side-'
"Jared!" Jared snapped out of his daydream when Claire snapped her fingers infront of him
"What? What happened?" Jared frantically asked, surprised to see what happened
"You spaced out. Probably even daydreamt about our resident Irish guy" Tinge of pink was visible from Jared's cheeks as embarassment overhwhelmed him
"No way! Okay maybe a bit..." Claire groaned
"See, Jared? It's sad seeing you going goo goo eyes on him while not having the actual nerves to man up and tell him!" Jared's eyes slightly twiched in both frustration and embarassment. He wanted to throw hands, god he wanted to throw hands. But he has a strict rule of no hitting girls and Claire is his best friend. So he took a deep breath and sighed
"So, now what? If I'm being honest, pining over someone who's reaction I'm dreading to know is not as cool as it sounds" Claire snorted at the thought
"Well, best thing to do is try to get his attention. Once you do, probably ask him to hang out with you or something. Don't jump straight to the confession, okay? Don't wanna scare him off" Jared nodded, letting Claire continue
"Once you're on that little outing, you can move a little bit, alright? Baby steps. So just move a bit closer and closer and finally, Boom. Butterfly effect." The shorter woman made dramatic exploding arm waves in front of him
"Okay, but what if it backfires?" Once again, Claire sighed
"It won't. And even if it does, trust that nothing too bad will happen" She gave him her last warm smile before moving towards the exit and left Jared to his own devices
Jared Kalu was a man on a mission. A mission he was sure he'd fail. But he was sure as hell not going down without a fight