Upon reading amazingly written blog myjourneywithrsd .com and spending several hours trying to learn as much as I could about CRPS, I did some small changes to the previous chapter. If you want to know what CRPS really is, then take a look at the blog or at the facebook page of RSDSA – including a letter to Shonda Rhimes which is definitely worth reading! I'll try to do my best to capture the heart of it all but if there are any inaccuracies; don't hesitate to let me know.

Ways of the crew parted when the roads were cleared and they had the rest of the day off. Their next shift would start in the morning and they all had a lot to think about, a lot to digest. This shift didn't turn out the way they all expected. It was no regular being-stuck-in-blizzard shift. This was life changing and nothing would be the same anymore kind of shift.

Andy asked her dad if she should go home with him but he just hugged her and declined.

"Dad…"

"I'm not gonna die tonight, okay?"

"That's not funny, dad." She scolded him but he only smiled.

"What about I pick you up in the morning, we go and buy some breakfast for everyone, what do you say?"

"Team breakfast in the beanery?"

"Like in the old times." Pruitt said softly and she nodded after a moment.

"Okay, we can do that, yeah. That'll be nice." She answered. "Can I at least walk you home?"

"Sure." He could let her do that. And so they left together and although they were quiet most of the way, it was a comfortable silence. They were together and Andy felt part of the raging fire inside her, part of that all-consuming anger going away. She missed her father. As they were nearing the apartment building where Pruitt lived now, he got all serious.

"I need to tell you something else, Andy." He said and she got all nervous and worried.

"Do I need to sit down?" She asked back.

"I wasn't completely honest with you about the reason why I wanted to sell the house."

"What?" Andy didn't understand. What was he talking about? And so Pruitt took a deep breath and told her. He told her about the insurance and about the diagnosis, he told her about payments for his treatments and he even admitted that he went to see Dixon and instead of getting help he got nothing.

"He even asked Sullivan to put me in the line, that idiot." Pruitt added as an afterthought. He regretted it the moment he said it. Oh that wasn't good.

"You're kidding, right?"

"No."

"What… what did Sullivan say?" Andy asked carefully. She desperately wanted to know but at the same time didn't want to talk about him at all because it was bringing back all sorts of feelings and memories and she wasn't sure she could take it right then.

"Oh he admitted Dixon called him but instead of giving me hard time he was worried about me. He asked me if I was sick again."

"He knew?" Andy asked and stopped walking. Did Sullivan know and didn't tell her?

"No. He didn't know. I didn't tell him anything. But he told me I should talk to you if there was something going on. And he was right." Pruitt said sadly. That man was driving him nuts and in the same time he grew to respect him quite a lot.

"Dad why didn't you tell me sooner?" Andy asked the one question that had been burning her heart and mind the whole time.

"I wanted to but…"

"But what, dad?" He asked but he had no answer. It was too complicated.

"But I didn't know how. After the fight we had you didn't speak to me and I was mad at you. And then you lost Ryan and I wanted to give you time." He answered and looked sheepishly at her. Andy just hugged him again. He was a fool. He was her dad.

They walked to his apartment and he was exhausted. He needed to get some sleep. So they said their goodbyes and Andy walked home. She was drained to the bone and could use a hot shower and bed. Her senses were overwhelmed and her body was moving on autopilot. She was numb inside and yet felt like screaming. She remembered their plan for the morning and so she texted everyone including Maya, which took her a bit of self-convincing, to tell them to be there. She asked them to be there if they could so they could have the breakfast with her dad.

The last message she needed to send was to Sullivan. She didn't know if she should send it, her hand trembled and she felt like crying again. But she did, she sent the message and felt butterflies in her stomach when the reply came. Others just said yes and sure and okay but he replied with "What should I bring?" which surprised her and made her smile sadly. Of course he had no idea how these team breakfasts worked. He would join them from time to time but didn't do it regularly.

So she hit the reply button and tried to type in some response. She deleted the message about five times before she just wrote "Just be there" and hit the send button. It was so pathetic and she felt like idiot but it was already done. And really, she meant it. He wanted to talk to her anyway so they could perhaps find a moment before the shift starts.

She didn't know where she stood with him, she didn't know what happened or what it meant but she decided not to think about it at all. She was done thinking. She was too tired to think, too exhausted. She needed to sleep and she needed to get up in the morning and try to sort it all out in her head so it would make some sense.

Jack ran into Rigo when he was changing to his civvies and Rigo extended his hand to him. Was it really that easy? Gibson didn't know. He took the hand but didn't release it.

"I didn't know." He said and Rigo looked doubtfully.

"When she came to the bar I didn't know who she was." He tried to explain and Rigo nodded.

"But she told you."

"Yeah. She did."

"So why, Gibson?" Rigo asked, still holding his hand as firmly as Gibson was holding him.

"Honestly? I don't know. I tried to stop it, stop her, I really did."

"But you didn't."

"I didn't. And I'm sorry. Really. I deserve a lot more than just one punch, man." Gibson said and waited.

"Yeah, you do." Rigo answered but let go of his hand. Gibson stood there and waited, thinking he would get another blow.

"But she knew, man. She knew who you were." Rigo said sadly and left. Gibson stood there and didn't understand what just happened. Well, he screwed up and he knew it. Rigo had every right to beat him into a pulp as he said. One blow was not enough. He felt like punching something himself. What the hell was wrong with him? Was he really that broken over Bishop dumping him? Or did he lose his self-preservation instincts? What the hell?

Well he found new respect for Vasquez and had a little less respect for himself.

He walked home and found Andy on the couch with a steaming mug in her hands. She looked like she just took a shower and was ready to go to bed. He plopped down next to her and she immediately noticed his face.

"Do I have to ask?"

"No."

"Vasquez."

"Yeah, apparently his wife tells him when she flirts or sleeps with a guy." Gibson said.

"You're kidding."

"Nope."

"Jack…" She wanted to say something comforting but didn't know what. He smiled at her sadly.

"Dean hates me. Said it was unforgivable. And he's right. I will be cast out, just like you said." He told her and she shook her head. Lonely tear slipped down from her eye and she just blinked it away.

"Dad's dying." She said then. "I'm not gonna lose you too." She told him and Jack just put his arm up so she could lean into his embrace. She put the mug down on the table and settled into his side. He hugged her to him, being the friend she needed and taking comfort from her presence as well. And so they stayed like that, each lost in thoughts. Andy fell asleep as exhaustion took over. Jack took comfort from her presence but then he picked her up and carried her to bed. He was glad she was his friend. She saw him for who he was and he appreciated it. He knew that he would always care about her. She was just that important to him. When he closed the door to her room he fealt heavy weight around his heart. He was such a fool. He decided to go for a run, when he couldn't move anymore, he came back home, took a shower and grabbed a bite to eat. After checking up on Andy and making sure she was still asleep, he went to his room and fell asleep even before his head hit the pillow.

Ben came home and found out his wife took Joey from the hospital. The boy looked much better now. Except for the fact that he was wearing his clothes and was playing videogames with his son. And so Miranda told him that he was healed now and had nowhere to go. She offered to take him in, to give him home and love and something stable in his life. She even asked the social services to ask the foster parents of Joey's foster siblings if they could meet from time to time and they all said yes. Ben wasn't sure about it but he saw the happy smile on his wife's face, the smile he hadn't seen ever since they lost their baby. And that was all he needed. Nodding, he hugged her. So he would be coming home to three amazing people instead of two. That wasn't so bad.

Later that night he told Miranda about the day and about Jeff. And she noticed he was thinking about something.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry."

"Really?"

"It falls under doctor-patient confidentiality." Ben said and Miranda gave him THAT look.

"Don't worry about it, okay?"

"You're not in troubles?"

"No. I promise." He said and kissed her.

Maya didn't even leave the Station. She had so much paperwork it physically hurt. She needed to have it done, she wanted to have it done that she just stayed there and took some shuteye in the bunk. She felt broken after this day. Talking to Andy was something she needed only now she wasn't sure if it was for better or worse. She couldn't believe her father was dying and she couldn't believe they just helped to deliver Dean's baby. This day was something she wouldn't forget.

She missed her friend. She was a crappy friend but it was drilled so deep into her that it was hard to change it. But seeing Andy cry and walk away, seeing all those emotions during the day on faces of everyone, of Miller and Sullivan, watching them all take in the new information, she just missed being part of the team.

When Andy texted her about the planned breakfast, she was happy. She could do that, she could have breakfast with them, she could be one of them and still be the Captain. She could do that. She had to do that. When she was too exhausted to even think, she lied down and to her surprise she cried into the pillow. She cried because Pruitt Herrera was about to die and she would miss him like she would miss her own father. And it hurt too much.

Sullivan was at home. He took a long shower and thanked God he was all alone when his leg gave out again, when the pain burned through him so strongly he fell to the ground. And so he sat there in the shower, naked, wet, the water slowly turning cold and he cried. He cried because everything was wrong. And he was shaken and broken, like life chewed him and spitted him out as something rotten.

When he could stand up again he turned off the water and dried off. He took his pajama pants and plopped down to his bed. He certainly didn't think he would live through such shift. So many things happened and so many didn't. He had so many open wounds he felt like bleeding out. And yet some of those deepest started to heal during those precious moments. And he felt horrible because he knew he'd have to cut them open again to move on.

Pruitt was dying. And it wasn't fair and it sucked. And he was determined to do all he could to help him fight Dixon because Dixon was an idiot and Pruitt deserved better.

Warren figured it all out. And Sully knew that taking those vials was the dumbest thing he had ever done in his life. Well aside from telling Andy to go back then after L.A. Sullivan had to admit that he was surprised by Ben's reaction. That man would never cease to surprise him it seemed. He was looking forward to meeting Dr. Shepherd. He hoped she'd be a little bit more open than Koracick. And if Ben said she was good, then he would believe him. Besides he had no other choice. And he would have to tell Andy.

Andy.

He was exhausted but guessed he wouldn't get much sleep. His mind turned to Andy Herrera and he was lost. When her father admitted the illness, Sully felt like he couldn't breathe. It all came back to him, all those talks about promotions and safety, about happiness and love. Everything. And he couldn't even imagine how she had to feel back then. First he hurt her, then she lost her best friend, then the promotion and now she was about to lose her father. He admired her for even standing on her feet at that point.

When Hughes told him to give her a minute, he looked at Pruitt. He needed to know he was okay with him coming inside the bunk. Pruitt nodded, it was barely there but he did it. And so Sully followed his instinct and went inside. Seeing her crying on that bed broke him and all those feeling he had for her came back full force, hitting him square in the chest. He wanted to hide her and protect her from all that pain, he wanted to take it all away and he wanted to hold her and never let go. And when she willingly came into his embrace, his heart was beating madly.

Now he was thinking about it, about all she said and about what he said, he was thinking about the whole situation and knew he did right when he asked her if they could talk. He needed to come out clean and tell her about his leg. He needed her to know. He wanted to tell her so she would understand. He had no hope though. He knew she was too mad and he knew they would never work out. But he wanted to tell her. She was all that mattered now.

When he got her message about the breakfast in the beanery, he wasn't sure if it was meant for him at all. He looked at the screen and after trying to type a response about five times, he finally asked what he should bring. Andy's reply made him smile. Something so small like a message and it made him feel so much better. For a moment before the reality would hit him again. But even that moment counted. He fell asleep, his leg throbbing and his skin feeling like it would peel off from his leg. And that took all those nice feelings away. He hoped he would get some sleep. He prayed he would. He sighed as he felt so lonely in the apartment that it actually hurt. He felt pathetic.

Sorry folks, I am so tired I barely keep my eyes open. So I'm gonna end it here and give you one more chapter tomorrow.