A new chapter for a new year! Enjoy and please review love Miffygirl18 xxx
Chapter 50 – Women's Troubles:
"Which one would you like for the evening Madam?" Mrs Fairfax inquired as Jane organised her jewellery box. She turned round and inspected the two dresses that her housekeeper held up in each hand.
"Umm, the green one for the evening," she decided but then faltered. "Cecilia would probably wear green and I have already worn the blue one at court before. I will wear the ivory silk with the black lace overlay gown for the dinner and the russet orange dress for the luncheon."
"Very good Madam," Mrs Fairfax nodded and set about carefully packing her mistress' things in a trunk. It was Charlie Foxton's birthday tomorrow and Cecilia had invited Jane, Tarzan and Archimedes to a weekend of festivities at their country residence in Kent along with several other distinguished guests.
"Come on Anna," Jane looked over to her bed where her daughter was lying down, "carry on reciting your Latin verbs."
"Habeo - I have," Annabelle recited rather languidly. "Habes – you have singular, habet – he, she, it has, habemus – we have, habetis - you have plural and habent – they have."
"Very good dear," Jane got up and passed her jewellery box to Mrs Fairfax. "A little unenthusiastically though. Annabelle are you alright?" she noted her daughter's face bearing some discomfort.
"My stomach hurts a little," Annabelle replied and Jane knelt down by the bed and put her hand to her daughter's forehead.
"You don't have a temperature," she noted after inspecting Annabelle's face, "and you don't look pale. What have you eaten today?"
"A little porridge but I feel really bloated," Annabelle replied truthfully. The dull pain had started not long after she woke up that morning but she was determined not to miss her morning lessons with Miss Lyons. She wanted to catch up on everything and know just as much, if not more than Percy Foxton.
"Jane darling have you seen my book?" Tarzan bumbled into the bedroom and saw Jane kneeling beside Annabelle, "what's wrong?"
"Anna is feeling a little under the weather. She has a sore tummy," Jane explained and Tarzan immediately came over to the bed.
"Are you feeling sick Belle?" he asked, his green eyes widening in concern.
"No Papa, I'm just feeling a little bloated and tired that's all."
"Maybe we shouldn't go to the Foxtons tonight?" Tarzan looked to Jane for her thoughts on the matter.
"I think it's nothing serious darling," Jane replied. It was the first time that they were going to be away from the children for more than an evening and she thought not that Annabelle was faking but that she might be exaggerating her symptoms in order to make them stay. "Besides Martha and Miss Lyons will be here to look after you. Now Tarzan, if you have done your packing then I will help you find your book."
"Of course Jane," Tarzan replied as Jane went into their bathroom and he turned to Mrs Fairfax, "Mrs Fairfax if Belle's stomach pains persist, then would you please give her a hot water bottle when she goes to bed tonight."
"I will do just that Sir," Mrs Fairfax nodded understandingly before continuing her mistress' packing.
Later that day as Archimedes, Jane and Tarzan travelled in their horse and coach to St Pancreas station to get their train to Kent, Jane noticed her husband nervously twiddling his fingers.
"It won't be long until we arrive at the Foxtons darling. Besides Francesca and Giuseppe Maggolini will be there," she reassured him as she knew that her husband was still nervous at the prospect of large parties.
"It's not that," he replied and his eyes were filled with concern, "what if Belle is really ill? Maybe we should cancel?"
"She'll be fine Tarzan my boy. I promise," Archimedes chipped in and Jane took her husband's hand in hers. "I'm sure that a good night sleep will do the trick. Anna will be bounding around the house tomorrow morning without a care in world, you'll see."
"Something wrong with my cooking tonight Miss Anna?" Mrs Griggs asked as Annabelle pushed the sausages, mashed potatoes and peas around her plate with her fork.
"Oh not all Mrs Griggs," Annabelle replied lethargically, "I'm just not very hungry that's all."
"Still feeling unwell Annabelle?" Miss Lyons replied, who was also eating her dinner in the kitchen with her charge. She got up from the kitchen table and felt Annabelle's forehead. "No temperature, but you do look weary. Mrs Griggs would you kindly make Annabelle some hot blackcurrant cordial and Daisy please bring up a hot water bottle to her room. Come along Annabelle, I think you need an early night."
"And what I am supposed to do with this?" Mrs Griggs harrumphed out aloud as she picked up Annabelle's abandoned dinner.
"Give it to Thomas," Daisy responded as she poured boiling hot water from the copper kettle into a stoneware bottle. "He'd be glad to get seconds!"
"Now is that better?" Miss Lyons asked after Annabelle finished her cup of hot blackcurrant cordial and Daisy had slipped the hot water bottle under the covers.
"It feels much better thank you Miss Lyons," Annabelle replied gratefully as she placed the warm stoneware bottle against her aching stomach.
"Hope you feel better tomorrow Anna," Daisy replied and Annabelle smiled appreciatively at her friend.
"Can you read me a story please Miss Lyons?" Annabelle asked as the warm stoneware bottle started to ease her pain and held Pollyanna close to her.
"Well we have finished Little Women, let me have a look." Miss Lyons went over to the bookcase and pulled out a book. She sat down in the chair beside the bed and opened the book to the first page. "Moby Dick by Herman Melville. Chapter One. 'Call me Ishmael. Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world'." Miss Lyons started to read out the first chapter with great sincerity and Annabelle snuggled down with Pollyanna.
After reading a few pages, Miss Lyons looked up and saw that Annabelle had fallen asleep. She smiled as she closed the book and placed it quietly on the bedside table. She leaned over her young charge and pulled up the covers so that Annabelle didn't get cold. She watched the child for a moment, observing her angelic sleeping face. "Goodnight my dear," she whispered and kissed her forehead, "there is much to learn tomorrow."
Feeling a tear come to her eye, she left the bedroom quickly but quietly. She adored her new charge but she also envied her. She envied at how Annabelle could sleep without a worry in the world, that she wouldn't have nightmares. She envied that Annabelle would never have to fear whether or not that someone would come into her room that night.
She wiped the tear from her eye and went up to her attic room and a little while later a knock sounded on her door.
"Come in," she called out and Thomas popped his head around the door.
"I hav' finished my work for t'day Miss Lyons," he smiled a little sheepishly, "Would it be a good time to hav' my reading lesson?"
"Yes of course," Miss Lyons nodded, although it had completely slipped her mind. "Please come in."
Thomas entered the room and awkwardly stood by the door as she cleared the table of her lesson plans.
"So let us read some sonnets," Miss Lyons went across the room and opened a trunk and Thomas was surprised to see it completely filled with books.
"Ee bah gum! That's a lot of books thou hav' there."
"This is just a small selection. I obviously couldn't take them all with me," Miss Lyons replied as she rummaged around and pulled out a copy of Shakespeare's sonnets. "Shall we sit at the table?"
Thomas nodded and he pulled out the chair for her. "Try this one," she flicked through the pages and then stopped at a page. "Sonnet 29. Start at the beginning. Now it doesn't matter if you stumble or don't know the words. Just try your best. I need to see where your reading levels are at."
She slid the book across to him and Thomas swallowed as he saw the small print on the page.
"When, in disgrace with for, fortune and men's eyes," Thomas started to read aloud slowly, "I all alone beheap -"
"Beweep," Miss Lyons corrected him and Thomas narrowed his eyes in concentration.
"Beweep my out, out, outcast state,
And tr,tr,trouble deaf heaven with my… bot, bootless cr,cr,cries,
And look upon missen, myself and curse me, my fate,
Wishing me like to one more in hop -"
"Hope."
"Fea, feat, featured leek, like him, like him with friends po, po, possessed,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scoop-"
"Scope. Keep going," she said encouragingly as she saw that he was getting frustrated.
"Yet in these thoughts myself almost… dis, dis, despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
(Like to the lark at bark-"
"Break."
"Break of day arising,
From the sul, sul, sul, sullen earth) sings hymns at haven's gate; -"
"Heaven's gate."
"For thy sweet love re,re, remembered such wealth brings
That then I sco, scor, scorn to change my state with kings."
"Well done," she said when Thomas finished the sonnet. "That wasn't too painful was it?"
"That was terrible, my reading is terrible. Thou must think I am a bleedin' eediot!"
"Not at all," Miss Lyons replied kindly as she found him another sonnet to read. "Now read this one please."
Thomas wondered whether he had made a stupid decision in asking for help with his reading. However, seeing this softer, kinder side to Miss Lyons made him press on and read the next sonnet with a little more determination.
"Well done," she made a small smile after he read aloud the fourth sonnet, "You are improving already Thomas. You just need to practice regularly."
"Jeez that Mr Shakespeare is a wordy lad!" Thomas retorted, feeling exhausted but proud at his accomplishments.
"Well he is one of the world's greatest playwrights. I would read him all day, every day if I could."
"All day, everyday?! Thou really likes books!"
"Yes," Miss Lyon's face became solemn. "Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers."
"Gosh!" Thomas was dumbfounded by her insightful words, "that was reight beautiful Miss Lyons."
"Charles William Elliot," Miss Lyons replied. "He's the president of Harvard University. He told me that on a visit to Oxford University when I was 14 and I never forgot it." She made a nervous cough and took the book of sonnets off the table and went back over to her trunk of books.
"Will thou go to Oxford?" Thomas asked her as she put the book back in the trunk, "Thou is reight smart, smarter than any lass I know."
"I could go to Newnham or Girton in Cambridge I suppose," she pondered aloud, "but the female students have to get permission to attend the lectures and we are not allowed to take degrees."
"Well that's ridiculous! All that work and no recognition!" Thomas retorted with vim in his voice, which surprised Miss Lyons.
"It's the way of the world Thomas… hopefully not for long."
"Thou art a suffragette?" he asked as Miss Lyons came back to the table with a little blue book.
"I am for women's suffrage and attend some meetings," she admitted as she sat back down. "Why, do you disapprove? All these modern ideas of women being equal to men?" She couldn't help adopting a sarcastic tone. Thomas was from Yorkshire and grew up in a remote farming community where men and women stuck to their strict gender roles. She didn't think that he would be the most forward thinking of young men.
"Well I guess that all ideas were modern once," he said thoughtfully, "all men still don't hav' t'right to vote too. I don't see why any lad or lass who works hard and pays ther' taxes is nut allowed a say in how t'country is run."
Miss Lyons was surprised at his insightfulness. His reading may not be the best but he seemed to possess more liberal opinions than a lot of the highly educated men that she had met. She felt a funny, fluttery feeling developing in the pit her stomach. Then she immediately pushed away this strange, almost pleasurable sensation out of her mind.
"Here," she passed the small blue book to him, "it's a collection of short stories. They are easier to read, you can read those in your own time."
"Thank thee," Thomas nodded gratefully as he opened the book, "Charlotte." He noticed the handwritten message in the front of the book from her father. It had been given to her as birthday present when she was much younger.
"Yes," Miss Lyons made another nervous cough, "Well I am sure that you will find them entertaining or at least interesting."
"Finally I know yer name," Thomas smiled with a slight twinkle in his eye. "Charlotte is a reight bonny name. It's good to know each other by oor first names isn't it? Thank thee…Lottie."
"Don't ever call me that!" Miss Lyons snapped so suddenly that it took Thomas by complete surprise! "Don't you ever call me by that name do you hear! I hate that name!"
"Alreight! Alreight!" Thomas put up his hands as if to shield himself from her outburst like a barking guard dog. "I will just call you Charlotte, no Lottie I promise." That seemed to calm her down but she looked visibly shaken.
"I think you'd better leave now," she said quietly and Thomas left the room with the book, thoroughly confused by her sudden display of anger.
She went over to her bedside table and pulled out a little tin box. Inside was a razor blade and she hurriedly pulled up her skirts and dragged the blade 3 times across her inner thighs.
Hot tears stung her face as the blood trickled down her legs with the name 'Lottie' ringing in her head like a deafening bell. She stuffed her hand into her mouth to stop the other staff from hearing her cry. The cuts released a little of her inner pain but she knew that it would come back, as it always did.
In the early hours of the morning, Annabelle tossed and turned in her sleep. She slowly opened her eyes as she was feeling some discomfort. Under her bottom she felt the sheets were wet and her heart raced as she realised that she had wet the bed! She didn't even feel it happening and she had not wet the bed since she was very young.
Quick as a flash, she jumped out of bed and stripped the sheets off the bed. She wanted to sort them out herself before the servants saw. She didn't want Martha, especially Daisy to see that she still wet the bed like a baby. She bundled up the soiled sheets and tiptoed down the stairs to the laundry room.
The house felt eerie in the dark and the grandfather clock in the hallway chimed, telling her it was half past two in the morning. When she slipped into the laundry room, she lit the oil lamp and saw to her horror that her bed-sheets were not stained from urine but they were red with blood!
She bumbled around, filling the butler sink with water and submerged the sheets into the icy cold water. The water was soon tinged red as she vigorously scrubbed the largest stain with soap and a brush.
"Miss Annabelle?" Mrs Griggs opened the door, awoken up by the noises coming from the laundry room. "What on earth are you doing at this time at night?"
"Oh Mrs Griggs!" Annabelle wailed in despair, "Please tell Mama and Papa that I love them and tell them to plant jungle lilies on my grave! Oh this is so tragic, I will never dance with a boy or have my first kiss! I will never see the jungle again! Tell Keke that I will miss her and she will always be my best friend!"
"What on earth is all the commotion about?" Miss Lyons entered the laundry room. She had been unable to sleep and had come down to make herself some hot milk when she heard the wailing coming from the laundry room.
"Oh Miss Lyons!" Annabelle turned to her governess with tears streaming down her cheeks. "I am sick! I am dying and I will not have enough time to live for you to teach me everything!"
Mrs Griggs lifted up her oil lamp and both women saw the blood stained sheets soaking in the sink.
"Annabelle," Miss Lyons knelt down so that she was eye level with her and kept her voice calm. "You are not dying."
"I'm not?"
"No, you have just started your courses and it is perfectly normal. Your tummy ache was cramps which you get sometimes when one starts."
"My courses?" Annabelle was totally confused, how could bleeding be perfectly normal?
"You have started to menstruate," Miss Lyons decided to use the proper scientific terminology. "It means that you are a woman now. It happens just a few days every month -"
"Every month!" Annabelle was aghast at this news and Miss Lyons immediately saw that it was clear that her mother had not yet discussed such matters with her.
"How long will this last?" Annabelle demanded as Mrs Griggs went to the sink to sort out the bloodied sheets. "How long have you had them Mrs Griggs?"
"Oh for many years my dear," Mrs Griggs smiled kindly. "Most ladies have them until they are in their forties or even fifties."
"Fifties!" Annabelle cried, "Why oh why is this happening! Miss Lyons why is this happening!"
"Annabelle calm yourself, you're being hysterical. Come on let's get you sorted out," Miss Lyons rubbed her hand comfortingly on her charge's shoulders. "I have some cotton cloths that you can pin to your undergarments for now. Mrs Griggs can I have some clean bed sheets please?"
"Of course," Mrs Griggs nodded, "I will deal with the sheets in the morning as they could do with a soak. Better put a new nightgown on her too." She nodded her head at Annabelle and Miss Lyons saw the large bloodstain on the back of the girl's nightgown.
"What's going on?" Thomas came into the laundry room and saw the tearstained Annabelle. "Miss Anna, what's wrong?"
"Oh Thomas! Everything!" Annabelle wailed.
"Thomas out!" Miss Lyons shielded the sink with her body but Thomas peeked around and saw the blood stained water.
"I said out!" Miss Lyons snapped sharply. Thomas realising what was going on mumbled his excuses and dashed out of the laundry room as quickly as he could.
"Come on, let's get you upstairs," Miss Lyons took the shawl off her shoulders and placed it on Annabelle's shoulders before gently guiding her back to her room.
"Why didn't my Mama tell me about menstruation?" Annabelle asked after Miss Lyons finished making her bed with clean sheets.
"I'm sure that she was planning to soon," Miss Lyons replied as she handed Annabelle a clean nightgown and a cotton cloth. "She probably thought that you had a little bit longer before you started them. Now you'd better change and put the cotton cloth on as I told you."
Annabelle nodded meekly and went behind her dressing screen to change.
"You will need to change your cloth in the morning and regularly during the day so that you don't bleed through to your clothes."
"Oh Miss Lyons, why does this have to happen?"
"It's just nature's plan and we all must learn to deal with it. Now back to bed, I will do a lesson on menstruation tomorrow."
"I want my Mama," Annabelle said quietly as Miss Lyons tucked her in.
"I know, but she will be back soon don't you worry." Miss Lyons wished that she had her own mother around when she started her own courses even though she never really knew her. She had sadly lost her mother shortly after she was born and it was definitely a time that she wished she were alive so that she could be comforted and reassured.
"Goodnight Annabelle. I'll see you in the morning."
"Goodnight Miss Lyons… thank you."
"You're welcome Annabelle," Miss Lyons made a small smile and closed the bedroom door, leaving her charge comforted but still full of questions on how now she was no longer a girl but now a woman.