A/N: So this chapter was actually an idea I had for an actual chapter fic by the same name but I realized if I modified it I could use it as a second chapter for LMLM. I took some artistic license and kept it really easy and light. Like I said this was supposed to be a multi-chapter fic that took place over the year after Voldemort died. I also know that Grayback was killed during the Battle of Hogwarts but for this chapter I am going to write as if he escaped the final battle. Sorry.

Read and Review!

Warnings: PTSD, TRAUMA, SHOCK, MALEXMALE RELATIONSHIP, KISSING AND TOUCHING NEAR THE END BUT NO LEMON UNTIL PART III. MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, RAPE, AND CHILD ABUSE! BEWARE THE TRIGGER WARNINGS AND REMEMBER TO ENJOY!

Lust me Love me

Part II

Harry walks with Madame Pomfrey through the darkness, the warm and bright lights of the massive castle behind them no longer reaching their slowly plodding bodies.

The silence is soothing after all the noise, as they slowly and carefully make their way down the steep incline towards the small boat house located in a isolated corner of the Black Lake.

It has only been a day since the war finally ended, Voldemort and all his Horcruxes have been eliminated. Many people, both good and bad, are dead. But even so, many people have survived, battered, beaten and tired, they move forward and have started the arduous process of loss and recovery.

Harry tries not to think of those lost, he can't, not yet anyway. When he recalls them, he wants to remember them as they were, to honor them and be respectful towards their sacrifice.

And still, even now, as he walks in a haze of fading adrenaline and his body feels heavy and he is caked in blood, sweat and the filth of war, he knows there is still one person left to try and save.

Please, let me save him.

While the ranks of the light have slowly collected and respectfully covered their dead, and those who survived tend to the wounded and make lists of who among them is there and who is still missing, Harry found the Medi-witch and gently pulled her aside.

His face had been set, his eyes sharp as he asked her to come with him to tend to a patient that was on the border of the grounds. Harry supposed it was cruel not to tell her who it was, after all, she was not aware of many things in regards to this particular patient. Yet, as she walked next to him she did not question him, did not even try to play the authority card of age and Harry was grateful.

When they enter the boat house Harry brings her to stand before a long fisherman's trunk, often used for storing harpoons, rope, ores and riggings. He doesn't make to open it, instead he looks to the woman who had patched him up so many times over the years.

He knew of her gentle hands and mild manner, of how much she cared for her students and valued life like a sacred treasure. She had always been nice but strict, and Harry hoped, despite the feelings of betrayal sure to come forward, the woman would listen.

"Mr. Potter-"

"Please, Madame Pomfrey, at this point, just….just call me Harry." the young man says with exhaustion and she stares at him a moment, worry etched across her brow as she finally gives a gentle nod and speaks again, this time softer, "Who-" she starts and the young man notices her sudden pause, sees the worry and curiosity in her eyes and he thinks about the best way to do this.

Harry is tired, has just killed a man….several times in fact, if you account for each Horcrux he destroyed, he feels thin, the world around him buzzing but he still forces forth the gentle tone, the patience needed, the confidence required to guide her through this moment.

"I need you….to remain neutral." he starts, and he hopes she will understand as her eyes grow wide and she stares at him, "The man in this box, he is not who we thought he was, not who any of us thought he was. I need to save him, and I need your help to do it. I need you to be above bias, above hatred, because no matter what you think you know….it's all wrong. Do you understand?" Harry says this all so slowly, carefully, choosing words with a gentle yet adminet tone, compelling the woman to understand him and after a few seconds Madam Pomfrey gives a reluctant but sincere nod.

Harry nods back, points his wand at the thick iron lock on the trunk, "Alohomora." and the it clicks open, the only sound in the quiet little shack aside from the gentle lick of water beneath them, and Harry slowly removes it, presses the lid open and there floating inside surrounded by a pale blue glow is Severus Tobias Snape.

Madam Pomfrey's eyes bulge.

PAGE BREAK

Two Months Later

He wakes up, sees white, smells sterility and he knows where he is. He can't fathom how, can't imagine the struggle it would have been to bring him back from the edge. Severus had seen them, Lily, James, Sirius, Lupin, his mother, Dumbledore….so many….had come to him, spoken to him, and he thought perhaps it was a dream….some insane attempt by his brain to quell his fear of the unknown, of dying only, of the possibility of being returned to Voldemort in Hell.

Still, seeing those he both hated and loved, the words they spoke to him, it had given Severus some semblance of peace as his light had finally faded from the world. At thirty-eight years old, he had lived a life filled with rage, hatred and regret. He had been ready to go, had told Potter everything he needed to know, everything had been explained and he wondered when Potter had learned the truth, if that unshakable faith and loyalty to Albus Dumbledore had finally broken.

You've been raising him like a pig to slaughter-

Severus muses that Potter must have won, for if Voldemort had been victorious Severus would not be in the hospital at….Hogwarts….what in Hecate's name….he had thought Saint Mungo, but as he stared at the ceiling he realized it was in fact the school's infirmary.

He cannot fathom how he is here, but as he finally tries to move, finally accepts that this is real and that he is somehow still alive, his eyes slide away from the ceiling, his head turns just barely as the pain from such a movement is rather raw and his eyes come to rest on the last person he expected to see.

Harry Potter stands next to the bed, looking freshly showered, green eyes half-lidded as he studies him with so little a reaction.

"Don't speak." Potter says softly and Severus just stares, "You're throat was slashed, Nigene's venom has slowed the healing process. They are currently trying to regrow tissue and nerves, you nearly lost your vocal cords, but….well…. Madam Pomfrey is a rather gifted Medi-witch. I suppose she has to be given the amount of mishaps students get up to…..anyway, you need to let your vocal cords and the surrounding muscles rest."

Severus just stares, unable to process the emotions that come at the sight of the young man. He looks different, no longer a boy, eyes jaded and dull, not even a ghost of a smile, several faint scars rest about his face and he seems rather lackluster compared to how he was prior, dark smudges under his eyes speak volumes of the lack of sleep he has received and his entire posture screams of fatigue.

He looks….older….somehow faded but still so strong….the aftershocks of war, he's broken, he's…..done.

Words and images flash before his mind's eye, their last meeting face to face still so fresh in his mind, as if it had just happened, yet it was so many many months ago...when Hogwarts had been burning, when he had fled with his motley crew of psychotic Death Eaters.

Are you going to turn on me, Professor? Do you think you might love me? Come back, Snape! You coward! Fight Back! Don't you fucking run from me!

"I was told I can give you water, are you thirsty?" Potter asks as he takes a seat next to him on the edge of his bed. Severus just stares, understands what is going on in regards to his health and medical statues but does not understand what is currently going on between him and Potter, or how he had survived for that matter.

"H-How-" is all Severu says and it's a wheeze of a thing, but Severus refuses to ignore his desire for answers and Potter looks at him before glancing away, eyes staring before he turns back slowly and says, "I'll answer multiple how's, as I don't know which one you want to know. How are you here? You're here because I killed Voldemort. How are you alive? You survived because after I found you, Hermione cast a stasis spell on you, per my request. How long have you been under? Two months. How much damage to your body? A lot. How long until you are healed? It's debatable."

And Potter had said it all slowly, clear and conscious of each word as his eyes stared at the wall across from him, as if he had thought of this conversation a thousand times in his head.

"They've kept you sedated. Gave you dreamless sleep so they didn't have to worry about nightmares or anxiety causing you to rip open your wounds. But, now you are going to be allowed to sleep on your own. You'll have dreams…..nightmares….it is going to be rough for the first few months…" and Harry trails off, those green eyes finally scanning to him, "Why would I warn you, no doubt you were having nightmares long before the rest of us." he muses and the barest hint of a smirk comes to the corner of his mouth.

Severus just stares, still not sure what he feels himself in response to the fact that Potter is still here, seemingly not angry with him, those spiteful and angry words from months ago somehow having faded.

"You need to know, as soon as you are on your feet, there is going to be an inquiry. The world has turned upside down in the aftermath of the war, but….it's been a literal witch hunt for the last two months….hundreds of criminals of war, traitors, some still so delusional to think Voldemort is still alive. The Ministry has been purged, most of the new staff have been selected by the people, I am head Auror." and he says it so bitterly, that last bit, the chuckle that falls from his mouth near resentful.

"It was all I wanted before…...now…..it's like I can't stop running….chasing….I'm pursuing the unwanted, the hated, still finding unimaginable evil…. The war is finally over and I'm still fighting-" and he fades out again, shakes his head out of some self-imposed prison as he looks at him, "You are going to have to face the inquiry, your memories will be examined and studied. As of right now, you are under my protect as well as my care. Nothing happens to you without it going through me. I will protect you from the vultures, but I need you to get well so you can speak for yourself. I've laid the groundwork for your defense, they are more than ready to hear you at my urging. I have….I have to show them those memories, Professor, the ones you gave me. They need to see….otherwise…..otherwise you will go to Azkaban. They have been very understanding and lenient with me, allowed me my indulgences….but….the fight for your freedom won't be easy…. But I won't lose, you won't be crucified for your actions….not if I have any say in it."

Severus continues to stare, doesn't understand why….

You think I cared for you Potter, you think what we had was anything more than just a few good rolls atop my desk? Don't flatter yourself, Potter, this disgusting thing between us was nothing more than a means to control you….and I did…..

LIER! Fight back! Face me! Don't you fucking run from me! Sectumsempra!

You dare use my own spell on me? Yes, Potter….I am the Half-Blood Prince.

Severus tried to speak again, opens his mouth and the sound that comes out is more akin to a strangled dog then a human voice, yet he manages to get out a strained and airy, "Why-"

Harry finally looks at him fully, those green eyes stopping their bouncing, their glancing and he leans a little closer, "Why did I save you? Because you, of all people, deserved to be saved. Why did I care? Because you and I...we have unfinished business, and I have questions that need answers….and….because I...care for you. Why didn't I let you just die? Why keep you here in a life that is going to be hell and a struggle and painful? Because, Professor-" and Harry leans even closer, eyes hardening as he frowns and says softly, "I'm not through with you yet."

Severus continues to stare, his brow just barely pressing up in shock at the tone, at the young man's demeanor. This is not the Potter he knew, not the Potter he remembers...this young man is colder, harder, angry….broken…..he is broken...and Severus knows, as his heartbeat gently pumps in his chest, he is more than partially to blame.

PAGE BREAK

Two Months Later

The inquiry has been brutal and Severus, though always remaining stoic and poised, feels the fatigue of it wearing on him. He has been allowed to stay at Hogwarts, fluing to and from the Ministry as Aurors are rotated in and out of school grounds, watching him. Not crowding, but remaining close. Potter had hardly come to call on him, and when he did the communication was short and to the point.

How things were going, what people thought, how soon they would be examining the memories. Everything about this hearing was publicized, everything was recorded and reviewed many many times. There was a baited breath about this particular case.

Many spoke out against him, there had even been a riot or two where many had shouted for condemnation. Yet, many more had come to show their support, show their belief in the man whom they didn't know simply because Harry Potter was on his side.

Severus simply wanted it done, he wanted his punishment, be it a life lived out in Azkaban, exile, loss of his wand...anything...whatever it was he would take it. He just didn't want to be the soul focus anymore.

After so many years hiding in the shadows, playing his loyalties one against the other, hiding everything about himself and his intentions only to now have it all laid bare. Every truth told, every lie explained, every single twisted dance he had performed at the behest of Albus Dumbledore or Lord Voldemort being revealed.

He thought he may lose his voice at one point from all the explaining, but Poppy had remained vigilant in her watch of him. Continuing to help the man gain strength, mend his wounds, though his mind was still a wreck of a thing.

Potter had been so adamant about his need of him when Severus had woken up that day two months ago, but since then, it was all business, and the young man seemed to be caught in a life of constant movement. If he wasn't at the Ministry he was out tracking down the remaining dark wizards and witches, bringing those who deserved it to justice. If he wasn't doing that he was coming to Hogwarts to explain how the proceeding was going, to talk the man through the next step.

For once in his life, Severus chose to say nothing, when Potter came he would simply listen, study the young man, see how he lost weight, grew paler, the dark smudges becoming full on rings. Eyes growing duller and duller as he pressed harder and harder against whatever it was that was tormenting him.

It was unclear if he should reach out, didn't know if he wanted to, his own anger and rage somehow, suddenly….just….gone. He'd never felt so numb, so uncaring, so indifferent towards his own life, towards all those around him.

Even when Granger and Weasley had shown up to check on him, a rather awkward affair to be sure, Severus had said little to nothing save to ask what Potter was doing and why he looked so utterly defeated.

The pair had little to say on the matter aside from a sidelong glance at each other before Granger had explained what Potter had been doing.

It was not just managing the Auror's and implementing strategies to track down dark Wizards, not just coordinating attacks and captures. It wasn't just seeing to this trial and making sure Severus got a fair review and due process. He was going to funerals, every funeral. Speaking and giving honors to those who had fallen. The amount he had attended was staggering. He was speaking to the public, trying to quell their fear, for apparently only his presence and words of assurity could calm the rather damaged and scattered wizarding world in the aftermath of such a war as this.

He was also currently the only liaison between the House Elves, who were not vollying for rights and freedom, the Centaurs, who wanted wartime reparations for the encroachment and destruction of their forests and other such areas, as well as the Goblins, werewolves and a select few sects of Giants and Vampires.

Severus had felt a mild bout of annoyance at that, the idea that Potter was being so thoroughly used and abused by the masses. People were wanting to be coddled and Potter was feeding into it despite his own needs. He was giving them his strength, and Severus could see how he suffered for it.

McGonagall had come, so had several other teachers, ones who understood the situation, ones who Potter had taken into his confidence. They spoke to him, tried to get him to open up and talk, but as the days past and Severus shared more about his life the past six years, his desire to say anything at all simply died.

Today was the final day of his trial, the Wizengamot ready and waiting to deliver their final ruling in regards to Severus. As he walked down the hall he was flanked by four Aurors, two of them old students he remembered from several years ago. Potter had not been seen for days, Severus having no clue what the boy had been doing this time around as even the Ministry had been uncertain if he would show for the verdict.

Still, as Severus entered into the main room, sat in the chair in the center of the circle, part of him was glad for Potter's absence. Severus was not going to make a final plea on his own behalf, he was simply going to sit there and wait for the judgment, accept it, whatever it was, and move to the next phase of his life. A phase that involved either imprisonment or heavy drinking, copious amounts of wishful thinking in regards to the prospect of suicide and what he would do with himself now that…..for the first time in his entire life…..he had the possibility of being his own master.

PAGE BREAK

Severus sits stiffly on the wooden chair in the kitchen. His eyes staring straight ahead as his mind remains blank.

He was sentenced two days ago, and yet, all he can do was sit here in the kitchen of his current home and stare. He doesn't know what to say, doesn't know what to do. He woke up and stared at the ceiling. At some point he had gone to the bathroom and taken a shower, simply standing under the hot water as it gushed over him. He had dressed slowly, eyes focused on nothing as he buttoned his robes and the muscle memory simply took over. Then he had stood at the top of the stairs, slowly walking down them only to stop half way, brow furrowing, unsure if this was a dream or reality.

He had made it to the sitting room where he sat on the couch before he moved about two hours later and came to sit in the kitchen. The silence was a ringing emptiness, a house he had never been in before but was suddenly his.

"On the multiple counts of crimes against humanity, treason and conspiracy, we find the defendant not guilty of all charges. On the count of murder in the first degree, lain against Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, we find the defendant, guilty, but with just cause, and shall see his punishment be applied under house arrest and strict supervision for the next year. Upon his release from said confinement, Severus Tobias Snape shall be awarded the highest honor for services to both that of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry and to the people of our wizarding world as that of a double agent, and for his hidden aid to the Chosen One, Harry James Potter. Severus Snape, you will now be taken to a safe house, where you shall remain for the next year as punishment for your hand in the death of Albus Dumbledore. This court has sentenced, you are adjourned."

He stares at the wall across from him, doesn't understand, his mind tries to spark to life, but all he can manage is a little puff of thought before it fizzes out again and he continues to stare.

The front door opens, he doesn't look, but knows the instant the person enters the kitchen that it is Potter. His hands just barely twitch as they rest on his thighs and he wonders if the young man will try to make him eat again.

Potter comes to stand next to him, a hand slowly raising, fingers just barely touching his hair before they drop again and his soft voice speaks, "I brought you some more books. I'm going to make lunch and then I have to go again, but...I think I will be able to be back by tonight. I plan to stay a few days soon. We can….talk." but Severus doesn't respond, just stares, eyes focused and perhaps confused, though he isn't even sure what he is confused about.

The silence rings out for a moment before Potter turns away and goes about making food. Severus continues to sit and stare, unsure what he should be doing, not registering the smell of hot food, not noticing the cup of tea set down before him or the fact it's his favorite.

Eventually, Potter sets a plate before him, a toasted sandwich of some kind, with crisps and….a cut up apple. Another small spark in his brain, maybe the barest trace amount of annoyance at the idea he needs his fruit cut but he just sits, unresponsive as always.

Several seconds pass and then Potter leans on the edge of the table, turns to face him before he raises a hand and fingers gently run down the side of Severus's face as a worried sigh escapes his lips.

This time the spark is a little bigger, maybe even noticeable as obsidian eyes blink once.

"The doctor says its shock, trauma induced dissociation. But you and I both know you are stronger than that."

Silence.

"Do you know what I think Professor?" Potter asks, not waiting very long for a response as he knows damn well he won't get one, "I think...you aren't speaking because you have nothing left to say. You've hidden yourself away for so long, that now that you've told everyone the truth, spoken about the things you've never been allowed to speak about, you're finally at peace. And you have no idea how to live with peace. You've thrived and survived inside adversity for so long, true freedom is just the same to you as a foreign language. You never thought you would live this long, so you never thought to make plans for when you were a free man. You've never given a single thought to what life could be like for you when your life was finally something you could control. I don't think you're scared, I don't even think your traumatized. I just think that you've absolutely no clue how to live your life, for yourself, and so….you've done nothing."

More silence, but another blink of the eyes makes Potter stare at him a little harder before he sighs again and presses his glasses up his nose, "Whatever this is, how ever long you need….I'll be here waiting...always."

Severus says nothing, but for once the words seem to resonate a little longer inside his mind, the smallest trace of a memory coming forward, a memory of his voice whispering a soft echo into the frigid night air as he watches Potter slide into icy black water and swim with determination towards the sword of Gryffindor.

Always.

"Try to eat, I'll be back later tonight." and that hand runs a thumb across his bottom lip, the young mean leaning forward and just barely placing a kiss onto the top of his head before he stands and moves back towards the door.

PAGE BREAK

Three Months Later

Severus stands at the front window, cup of tea in his hand, a book in the other though it rests under an elbow as his arm is crossed over his chest. He stands there staring out, takes a gentle sip of his tea and waits.

From upstairs he hears sluggish footfalls, doesn't turn to look but knows it's Potter coming down. Over the last few months Potter's occasional visits became more frequent, he started staying the night in the spare bedroom on the weekends. Now, he had very nearly moved on, only not returning here once or twice a week and that was usually due to a long raid or aggressive chase.

Severus heard him at night, tossing and turning or pacing the house. He could feel the young man stand in unending silence late at night, sometimes thinking he could hear the young man's twisted and traumatized thoughts. But Severus never approached him about it.

He is dressed in clean but tattered clothes, his steel toe boots ripped all to hell and his tight long sleeve shirt sewn back together in several places.

It is what Severus had come to call Potter's hunting clothes. The items he wears over and over whenever he gets the call that he is needed at the front of a chase. After all these months, there are still so many on the run, most at this point half starved and delusional, near crazed from the desire to run from punishment, escape the sentence of Azkaban, retain their burnt out freedom.

Potter still pursues, is still too thin, too pale and cold and brutally abused by those who can't see he needs rest, he needs to be left alone. Still, they call and he answers, never questions, never denies them their whimpering need of him.

He sits when he gets to the bottom steps, takes a deep breath and removes his glasses, runs fingers under his eyes, "I'll be back as soon as I can. They finally caught up with Grayback, I'm going to catch the bastard this time-" and Harry stops mid-sentence when he catches Severus's head jerk to look at him.

Potter says nothing at first, just stands on shaky legs and puts on his Auror issue duster, charmed and enchanted to protect against spells, hexes and curses. Crossing to him Potter looks up to his face and says slowly, "I'll be fine."

Severus had started speaking small sentences and words two months ago, but had not moved forward anymore in regards to full conversation. He was able to go through the motions of the day, waking up, using the bathroom, showering, eating, reading and writing but anything else, well he had not shown interest in the slightest about potions, the newspapers or anything that might show improvement.

However, today seemed to be the first day that he was completely responsive to someone else's spoken word.

Still, the man says nothing at first and Harry gives the barest of smiles, "If you're worried, maybe you can give me some advice. You worked alongside Grayback and just about every other Deatheater out there, so tell me, what do I need to know to catch him?"

The man says nothing, just stares and Potter decides he is going to take a chance and he presses, "Severus, tell me what you know about Grayback, how can I catch him?"

Severus's eyes seem to focus completely, his mouth opening without a second thought, "Grayback is not as stupid as people think, but he is a beast at his core and will aim for the three main things any beast would, food, shelter and sex. A place with young girls, where he can easily hide that has readily available and easily accessible food. He won't take up the pack mentality as he will do better to remain out of sight of the Aurors if he is on his own. Cut off his food supply and access to young girls and you can flush him out when his baser instincts get the better of him."

It is the most the man has said since he first woke up, with the exception of speaking to the Wizengamot. Harry's eyes are wide and he seems to realize something that is highly important to him. He stares up at the man before him who had been silent for so long and instantly he seems more alive and awake.

"Thank you, Professor. I know just the place! I'll try to be back by tonight!" and then he is heading for the door, a slightly brighter skip in his step.

That night when Potter returns home he is a mess of cuts, filth and minor burns. Grayback had put up a fight. Under one arm he carries a file with him, filled with information on the main Death Eaters they are still targeting, still trying to find. The ones that have managed to elude them over and over and have driven Potter nearly up the wall with frustrations.

Severus is standing in the same spot by the window, but Harry does not ask him if he has been there all day, the chances are good he has.

Instead, the young man crosses to the couch, sits down and spreads the files out on the table, there are ten main ones all together and then he looks over at his Professor.

"Professor, could you come here, please." Harry says, a rather gentle tone that pulls Severus from his staring before the man turns and walks over to him.

"Sit, yeah, thanks." Harry says softly and the man complies, looking down at the photos of the Death Eaters, the files that the Ministry and the Aurors have put together over the last many months.

"You're injured." Severus says as he studies the young man with a rather bemused look of indifference.

"Yeah, it's fine. I'm fine. I caught him, so, I'm too excited to feel the pain. Now, Professor, I want you to tell me everything you know about these Death Eaters, spare nothing, I want you to give me all the information you have."

Severus looks to him, stares as his eyes narrow but Potter says in a rather hard tone, "Tell me, Professor. Now, that's an order."

The man stares at him a moment longer before those eyes seem to focus and his head turns back towards the images, he raises a hand, points a finger to the first one in the pile and starts to speak.

They talk over the files for the next four hours.

PAGE BREAK

Four Months Later

Severus sat in his wingback chair by the fire, gently sipping on a tumbler of brandy as he read a book. His eyes scanned fast, fingers turning the page gently as he went. His leg was crossed over a knee, body relaxed as he waited in the silent house by himself. The walls lamps were turned down low, the fire giving the most light as outside thick snowflakes fall against a black night sky.

He takes another sip of brandy, turns another page, eyes continue to scan and this goes on for nearly another half hour. It isn't until the clock strikes one in the morning that Severus is pulled from his reading and he stares at the hands of the clock on the mantle, brow furrowing as he gently sets his glass aside, closes his book as he notes the page number and then stands.

He crosses to the front window, stands and waits.

It's nearly an hour before a figure apparatus into view, limping a little and seemingly smoking as he makes his way towards the front door.

Severus turns and moves towards it, grasps the knob and pulls the door open slowly, standing there silent as a young man stumbles in coughing.

"Bloody fire spells-" he murmurs under his breath as he aims for the couch and falls down flat on his face, the cushions molding to his frame as he lets out an exhausted sigh.

Severus simply raises a brow, stares at the still smoking body as he quietly shuts the door and then moves to stand next to the couch, his arms behind his back and his eyes narrow as he says sternly, "You. Are. Done."

"Yes. I am, I plan to shower, eat and then pass out for the next few days. I got leave for the weekend, I'll go back at it Tuesday. I need to sleep-" Potter sighs out and Severus cocks a rather skeptical brow as he tries again, "You misunderstand me, Mr. Potter. You are done with the witch hunt, forever. You've paid your dues. It's time to retire. Perhaps you can raise bees in Mr. Weasley's back yard, but as for being an Auror, you are done."

The silence is deafening for a moment until Potter suddenly pushes himself up off the couch and says, "Hang on, what did you just say….raise bees….where?"

"You're done." Severus says again, his hands fisting tight behind his back as he stared down at the young man with annoyance, "Or have you grown deaf after being blown up so many times."

"We've talked about this, I can't just-"

"Done!" Severus suddenly snapped loudly and Harry stared at him before his jaw set and he slowly stood. He shucked off his work coat, the duster crumpling onto the floor and still smoking as Harry rounded the couch and came to stand before him, "I don't know why you've been so demanding-"

"Hardly." Severus scoffs before he turns and heads for the kitchen, Harry following hot on his heels.

"Look, I can't stop until they are all caught. I can't let them get away and just-"

"Just what, Potter? You've been doing this for a year! Ever since I woke up from that bloody coma, you've been in and out, acting like the fate of the world rests on your shoulders. Well, I may have been mute and unresponsive, but I have watched the way they eat at you, the way they suck the very life out of you with no care to your needs! I'm done watching you self-sacrifice, Potter. You are done, that is all." and Severus had been in the process of making tea, slamming through cabinets, pulling and pushing drawers open and closed violently, lighting the stove with a slightly too hard flick from his wand.

"Incesint brat, always wanting to be the center of the universe, wanting all the attention, never telling anyone no, thinking no one but you can save the world from their self-created problems, foolish, cocky, insufferable, stubborn, wicked little-" and the arms that gently wrapped around his front send Severus into silence.

"Breath, Professor. No need to get so angry. We can just….." and Potter stopped talking as the side of his face came to rest on the man's back.

"Just what, Potter?" Severus spit as he stared at the counter top, unable to shove the young man away but unsure if he wanted the physical contact.

"I never realized how much I would miss you insulting me until this moment. You're really rather good at it." Potter offered.

"It comes with the territory of being surrounded by stupid idiots on a daily basis." Severus sniffed.

"I thought you liked going to the Ministry, you've helped us catch them a lot faster, it's a privilege you know, since you're still under house arrest." Potter teased, the idea of his school professor of old being under house arrest rather humorous to him.

"I should be dead, or at the very least in Azkaban." Severus murmured and those hands tightened as Potter spoke harshly, "No, you shouldn't. Stop treating yourself like the villian. You aren't, you are-"

"A hero? No, a hero is not a murderer, a hero does not condone the abuse of children, a hero does not start an illicit sexual affair with a sixteen year old boy and carry on with it for nearly two years. I am-"

"Yes, you murdered Dumbledore, but it wasn't in cold blood. It was premeditated by him." Potter said resolutely. Severus slammed the tea kettle down on the coils of the stove, his teeth gritting before he jerked lose of Potter's arms and stormed back into the sitting room.

After so many months of silence it felt incredibly good to feel so angry, to feel so utterly rage filled.

"Professor, you don't seem to remember how many of those students came forward and admitted that you had spared them from the abuse of the Carrows, of the Dark Lord's teachers, how many appreciated you lessening those punishments, protecting them-"

"I abused hundreds of children, spared them one evil for another! I raped you!" Severus suddenly spit, "You were sixteen! It was all based on a Lust Potion you cocked up, Potter! It never should have happened!" Severus barked.

"Do you regret it?" Potter asked, his tone suddenly cold and hard and Severus settled a little at the sound of it, "Do you? Because I don't. I wanted it, there was no dubious consent! It's the one thing that was never discovered, it is the one secret you still have, the one you and I share. Even so, I don't regret it, and even now, nearly two years after the accident….I want more, of you and it and….you don't. I can live with that, but you need to accept that what we did was mutual, was agreed upon! I regret nothing and I still want more!"

"Silence! Insolent little brat! Not a word, Potter! Not one more word! You and your delusions can just leave me alone and go the hell to bed! I don't want you near me, I don't want-" and Potter crossed the space between them and came right up to him, green eyes look to black ones in the dimly lit room.

"You're mad because I won't quit. I won't quit being an Auror and I won't quit on you either. Why does it bother you so much-"

"You no longer owe them anything!" Severus hissed, "You paid your dues, you've put in the time and effort! You nearly ran the whole Ministry with Granger and Weasley for three months! You've been there for every peace accord, you've gone to every funeral, you've spoken at every public conference, made addresses to all the press and still you destroy your body and mind with running after public enemies 1 through 100! You defeated the Dark Lord! Why do you keep rising to their demands when you know damn well you are the only one who has the right to walk away! To be done with it!"

"I don't want to, I….I can't." Potter says softly and Severus stares at him, eyes narrowing before he suddenly says in a deathly low voice, "That's it isn't it. All those months ago, you gave me some wisdom filled speech about my lack of ability to function on my own, that I couldn't exist because I was nothing but a puppet without a master, but look at you-"

"Professor-" Potter warns softly, "Don't-" he starts.

"You are so programmed to take on the world's problems you can't even turn your back on the press! You can't say no to anyone! You are just the perfect little neglected soldier, seeking acceptance and love from the shapeless masses who would suck you dry-"

"Severus, shut up now-" Harry warned out from between clenched teeth.

"Or what? Tell me, please, what will the almighty Potter do to me? You can't stand up to anyone else, can't tell anyone no, what makes you think I'm any different. Time to face up, Potter, just like I will always be the sniveling puppet you will always be the pig for slaughter-"

Harry was to him near faster than Severus could follow, fists grabbing the man by the shirt and yanking him down to the ground, stumbling and growling as he straddled the man before he raised a fist and went to punch Severus across the jaw.

"DO IT!" The man bellowed but Harry suddenly stopped, heaving breaths out as hard narrow eyes tried to release, the young man's head giving a little jerk as if his neck spasmed and he slowly lowered his fist.

"What are you doing, Potter! Hit me!" Severus ordered.

"No." The young man said resolutely as he went to stand and Severus reached out hands and took him by the shirt, dragging him back down, "Hit me!" He screamed again and Harry tried to jerk away, "I'll not let you bully me into punishing you! If you want to be punished so badly go join the Death Eaters in Azkaban! I'm sure they will have plenty of ideas on how to torment you." and the young man went to stand again but Severus yanked him even closer and hissed out, "Damn you-" before he pressed his lips to Harry's and kissed the young man soundly.

Hands instantly came up to his face, fingers running into his hair as their tongues met and Harry pressed his body more firmly to his Professor's. Severus was lost in it for a moment, the rage, hatred and adrenaline breaking his tight slip of control over these particular emotions.

He had tried to hide them amongst other things when he finally started to respond to those around him. When the shock, fear and sudden existence of a life without a master had found him lost in an ocean he did not know how to navigate.

Harry had pulled him back, slow and stubborn over the last nine months, had helped him find purpose in his existence. Given him little ideas of what his life could be like, what he might do with himself now that he was truly free. It had worked, slowly, so slowly Severus had come around. He had stopped waiting for some wizard or Death Eater to emerge from the shadows and claim he was being summoned, or needed for a mission, or having to get intel….he accepted his sudden freedom, his sudden life.

And when he had returned fully to his senses he realized he had been granted a home, honors for his sacrifices and had gained a rather dilapidated roommate in Potter. It had been like waking up from a hazy dream that he couldn't quite remember and once he had it had only been days for him to reach this level of normal.

But even with all that, these particular emotions, these feelings for the young man he had seduced and then broken, aided in secret as Harry crawled through hell to find the horcruxes and defeat Severus's evil Master, the young man he had tormented and tortured yet supported and helped, these feelings had remained buried.

They shouldn't have started in the first place.

It had happened by accident….

Nearly two years ago, a potions class gone wrong…..or maybe it had been the perfect mistake….

But Severus had refused to reconnect on such a level with this youth after he had left, after he had so thoroughly played the cruel villain, played into the part of pedophile or child molestor or sex offender, though it was all such a terrible and ugly lie.

The look on young Harry's face, the way he had twisted and thrashed against such words. And still, after all that, while Severus had laid dying in that filthy boathouse down by the water, Harry had come to him. Pressing a hand to his open wound, looking at him with the eyes of pity and regret, speaking words of apology in those brilliant green pools of warmth and forgiveness.

He thought, in those last moments that if he could only tell Harry the truth, could somehow show him before he died….and then his tears had carried the truth with them and he had been satisfied that he could die in peace knowing Harry would know the truth….

Suddenly Severus spoke, words tumbling out between kisses and gentle bites to lips, jaw and throat, "But you kept me here, you miserable brat, you brought me back from my rightful death, I'm nothing but a ghost, hollow, empty, ruined because of your selfish, selfish….mhmm."

"I'd do it again, don't stop, please don't stop, Professor, it's been too long without you-" Harry panted as his hands worked so furiously at those buttons, ripping his own shirt off over his head before diving back down to find those lips.

Severus moaned as Harry's hands pressed across his chest, as the young man's crotch gently rubbed against his own.

"Please, please touch me-" Harry murmured against his lips and Severus tentatively rubbed a palm down Harry's back. The young man groaned into his mouth before his hands strayed down to his pants and started to undo the belt, zip and buttons.

Severus heard Harry's voice then in the back of his head, Take me on the desk, like before. Can I come to bed with you, Professor? I'll stay for Christmas break, if you like. Could you visit me over the summer, Professor? It's good to see you again, Sir. It's good to be back at school, it's my home, and you're here-

Harry had been sixteen when this mess started, but now, now he was eighteen and in those short years of his life he had lived and experienced more trauma, heart break, torture, brutality and fear than anyone ever should.

Yet, through it all, after everything that had happened, the young man was here with him, choosing to be here, to be like this, to pull Severus back from the edge and grant him a second chance at life. Now that this line had been crossed again, Severus knew there was no going back. He had wanted to do right but Harry for once in his life, to give him the chance to leave and find a life for himself, a real family, have children, be happy…..but Harry seemed more than ready to commit to this treacherous affair, something from the past that should be left buried.

Well, Potter never was one to play by the rules… or listen to reason…

As the now young man clung on to him desperately, more than hungry for what was about to happen between them Severus was granted an idea and swiftly he rolled, pinning Harry beneath him as the young man grunted from the shift of weight onto his chest and stomach, "Listen here, Potter, you are going to concede to me and give up this witch hunt you've started."

"I...what? No, the others-"

"Will be perfectly capable of handling things without you leading the charge. Given how much weight you've lost, the bags under your eyes and the level of denial you've been able to reside within, you require six months-"

"Have you gone mental? Six months!?"

"Minimum-" Severus said, announcing each syllable slowly as he rubbed his lips against Harry's and looked into his eyes, "In return for your obedience on the matter, you may remain here with me and I will see to any needs you have." Severus said and Harry stilled instantly.

"Any needs I have…..for six months?" Harry repeated slowly, making sure he understood.

"You're due vacation time, Mr. Potter and I intend to see to it that you get it. After that, if you so choose to continue running around and lighting yourself on fire or being blown up, far be it from me to stop you. But I require from you six months to rest and recuperate. During which time I shall be at your beck and call...do we have a deal?"

Harry stared at him, eyes wide, mouth open as ideas seem to fly behind his eyes, Severus almost thinking he could see the things that the young man might be imagining.

"Six months….just you and me….alone?"

"Yes. Honestly Potter, how many times have you been blown up, your mind is moving rather slowly considering you're the chosen one, it's a wonder you survived at all." Severus said with a fair bit of snark.

"Mm, it's a miracle." Harry mused and then he pressed his lips to the man's ear and said softly, "You win." and Severus watched as Harry's head plopped back onto the ground, green eyes staring up at him gently and Severus looked at him in surprise, "Really?" he asked with doubt and Harry nodded, "But you have to deliver on your end too. You go back on your word I can go back on mine. Yeah?"

Severus nodded slowly twice, staring down at the young man, unable to figure out what that feeling was in his chest. Contentment? Happiness? Comfort? Relaxation? He just didn't know, but it felt good, and as he pressed his lips to Harry's ear he whispered in a voice thick with affection, "Take your shower, eat your dinner and be in my bedroom in thirty minutes, Mr. Potter. Not a second later, or I'll have to give you detention."

"Yes, Sir." Harry said with a smile as he gave a false salute and Severus rolled his eyes and pressed the young man's face away as he stood and headed up the stairs.

"Thirty minutes, Brat."

"Thirty minutes." Harry parroted in agreement as he lay on the floor and stared at the ceiling, his body and mind suddenly feeling like they were finally aligned for the first time in nearly a year.

A/N: There is going to be a chapter three, which will consist of mostly lemons and fights. But I wrote this in order to get back into my characters for Severus Snape and the Stone Heart. Hope you liked it, read and review.