CHAPTER 2 - AVOIDING THE CAMERAS

Shawn

Our new song is more than relevant, I hope. Last night, practically drunk because it was so late, I kissed Camila and she kissed me back. I'm a little surprised. We were always best friends. But when I fell in love with her I had no idea she'd done the same. But I'm glad. I don't know what this means for us, but I'm looking forward to it.

The next day, after three hours of cleaning it up, we recorded Senorita, and designed the album cover, handing it over to my manager to make merch with it. Then, we were released and assured that we had no responsibilities for the day. So, to Camila's insistence, we went to watch Tangled.

Where you may ask. Well, since it wasn't in theaters, we went to my place. I was required by the law of Camila to have about 10 copies of Tangled, DVD, Blu-ray, 3D, 4D, Digital version, sound only, Spanish, Portuguese, ASL, and another too, I think. Camila loves Tangled. She's obsessed with Tangled.

"Let's do 3D." Camila decided, examining my collection. She has even more copies then I do, some in languages I don't think she even knows. I nod, and walk over to the basket on my movie shelf were I keep the 3D glasses I've collected over the years. I toss Camila a pair and she takes the movie, going off to my bonus room.

In the bonus room, I have a movie theater thing set up, with a projector, reclining couch and a popcorn machine Camila gave me a few years back. I also game console, which is like, covered in dust, and a chest acting as an intable with fluffy blankets inside. One of my friend's girlfriends' had come over last month and decorated the place for me. It wasn't exactly my style, but I didn't have time to do anything else with it so it stayed.

Camila is on her toes, reaching for the projector five inches above her fingertips. I grin. I sneak up behind her and snatch the disk, yelling, "BOO!".

Camila flips around screaming,

"OH MY HOLY HAVANA!" She yells. She slaps me in the face. I just laugh. I slide the disk into the projector.

"It's not fair. You get to be tall." Camila mutters arms folded. I smirk.

"Don't worry, one day you'll be even shorter!" I say. Camila groans.

"I GIVE UP!" She announces. She runs around me and uses my shoulders as a bar to try to hoist herself onto my back. I reach behind me and grab her by the waist, and throw her onto the couch. "You're mean, Shawn Mendes." Camila decides. I flop onto the couch beside her. She grabs the remote and plays the move.

"Smart Assistant, turn off the lights," I call. The light switch off with a ding, and we settle down to watch the movie.

"Shawn?" We've been watching quietly for almost forty-five minutes.

"Yeah?" I respond just as quietly.

"Yes or no?" ignoring my confusion, Camila scoots over to me and wraps my right arm around her waist, and curls up against my side. She rests her head on my shoulder. Oh. I barely hesitate. I rest my head on hers and whisper,

"Yes."

Camila

I struggled to not scream. He said yes! I cannot believe he said yes. I love it though. Shawn doesn't pull away or move so I snuggle up against his side tighter. He uses his free hand to take mine and we just sit there.

We watch for another twenty minutes before his closeness gets to me. I tilt my face up and Shawn obliges. He presses his lips to mine. The blanket wrapped around us falls away as I slide my arms around his neck and press into the back of his head. Shawn fits his arms around my waist to pull me closer to him. I pull away, just slightly.

"I love you," I whisper breathlessly. Shawn just smiles and fits his mouth into mine again. I let my fingers part from his head, sliding down his shoulders and tracing the thoroughly defined muscles on his biceps. My hands take his and I rest my head on his shoulder again, and with a smile so big I try to hide it, I turn back to the movie.

I woke up in New York after being in Toronto the day before. I was in Miami mid day, and I fell asleep in Dallas. Two performances in one day. I haven't done that since 2015. I settle into my hotel room and I opened my playlist. I listen to six songs before one of my own showed up.

"Your hair's grown a little longer

Your arms look a little stronger

Your eyes just as I remember

Your smile's just a little softer"

I sigh, sinking into my bed, remembering our texting. Then our facetime.

"And I, and I never prepared for a moment like that

Yeah, in a second it came all back, it all came back

'Cause after all these years

I still feel everything when you are near

And it was just a quick hello

And you had to go

And you probably will never know

You're still the one I'm after all these years

Couldn't help but overhear you

Sounds like you're happy with her

But does she kiss you like I kissed you?

Ooh, I wish I loved you like I miss you"

I yank my AirPods out of my ears, and bury my face in my hands. "Shawn." I whisper, knowing he cannot hear me. It had been a fake. A cover. I remind myself. He'd pretended. I'm not going to pretend like Shawn hadn't ever had a real girlfriend, but I had been so jealous of Hailey. I shouldn't have been, but that's how it went.

My thoughts are scrambled, I decide. I can't think, so i'm going to stop. But then my mind drifts to a different topic. You do have a boyfriend. Remember Matthew? I sigh. I love Mattew, but Shawn… I scream in frustration and my complicated life. "Why do you do this to me?" I cry louder, letting all my emotions pour out, tears streaming down my face. I stand. I'm going to scream. Scream at this boy who's stolen my heart and refuses to give it back. I shameless. I should cry out. I should be angry. But I can't I slide back into my chair and put my AirPods back in to distract myself. It doesn't help that the next song is 'Stitches.'. A soft moan of frustration and love escapes my lips. "I hate you." I murmur. But I don't. I don't and I know it.

I give up on listening to music and pull out my notebook. I've been drafting new songs for my new album. I'm halfway through one. I'm not sure what to call it but I've limited it down to four names. I finally go with the one name that fits my current mood and scribble on the top of the page.

Shameless