Lulu discovers something interesting and her desire to interfere is tested.

Thank you for the follows/reviews.

italics = denotes thought or memory (for the most part)

Not Mine

Crossings - 5 Days Until the Coronation

Water safeguarded Lulu as she stood on the bird's nest of the boat. The waves under the vessel rocked them back and forth softly. Everything was very peaceful here on the ocean. So tranquil that it was hard to not let the movement lull her into memory. To remind her of the smell of rich red wine, and good company. Conversations set to the backdrop of a dying sun.

The night before she and Nooj had spent time in Kilika instead of getting on the next ship to Besaid. They had preferred to not rush into their journey to the Capital Island. After all they had time to kill. Once they had checked into their inn they had gone out to the small cafe on the upper level of the small port village, and found by chance that Paine and Baralai had also decided to have dinner at the same place. The four of them together had decided that the extra company would not be so deplorable. Moving their smaller "tables for two" and chairs they created a larger place setting for their group of four. Circling the chocobo's, so to speak,. Once together they engrossed in small talk. Lulu found she was very glad to catch up with them. For different reasons.

For instance, Baralai had been off in Luca overseeing the city's minor expansion project. Taking down notes whenever possible to give to Yuna at the upcoming meeting in New Zanarkand later in the week. Meanwhile Lulu and Nooj had remained behind in Bevelle as the city could not go without leadership for long. It was too big to be left unchecked. Because of these trips taken during the slow transition of power from their offices to Yuna's, the three of them had not seen each other for a good long while. By Lulu's count it had been a little over three weeks in fact. Almost a whole month, which for them was actually quite some time.

Compared to Baralai who Lulu had not been expecting, they were less shocked to see Paine who owned a small hut on the island proper. A fact Lulu found a bit odd. Despite having lived here for a little over seven years Paine did not blend in with her surroundings. While the rest of the island was colorful and exuberant, Paine was black and introverted. Somehow despite the disparity she had found a home on this island, despite Lulu not fully understanding how Paine had made it work. Although Lulu knew she was not one to compare. While she had loved living on Mushroom Rock Road - something about the ambiance had suited her, both she and Nooj had moved to Bevelle when it had become apparent that Mushroom Rock Road could no longer contain the Youth League Headquarters. As she had contemplated this the waitress arrived with their drinks and Lulu smiled at Paine, "Will you be on the boat tomorrow?"

"Yes." She paused and Lulu watched as Paine took a moment to realize that she expected some sort of elaboration, "I told my father that I would be home tomorrow for Yuna's coronation."

While Lulu had spoken to Paine off and on over the past eight years she had yet to become used to how Paine addressed both Yuna and Tidus. The former was always Yuna, while the later was always "father", at least in close company. Tidus never complained so he must have been okay with it, and perhaps even enjoyed it. Still it was a bit peculiar to hear someone his own age call him "father" despite knowing that to Paine, that was who the man was to her, "I can't believe it's time." Nooj said softly next to her.

"We knew this day would come eventually," Baralai said, "But you are right. I am not sure if I am ready to let Spira go, to give it to Yuna. We had it easy as leaders you know, when we were unsure of what to do we could lean on each other. She will… she will have to stand on her own two feet."

To that Lulu scoffed at him, "You say that as if she hadn't been doing that her whole life. If there is anyone who can stand alone facing the tide - it's her. And she will not be alone, not really. She has Tidus after all."

"And myself." Paine said, "I won't always be around but I am connected to them too - when they feel like sharing at least. If they need me, really need me - I will come."

For Lulu who knew she planned to die young, hearing Paine talk of companionship beyond Tidus helped put her at ease. She did not want to leave Yuna so soon, but eventually death would call for her and she would not be able to resist. Inside her chest where her heart beat she was at peace with that. Across from her Baralai took a ripped off portion of their shared bread and dipped in the oil mixture in the middle of the table, "So has anyone figured out what they are getting our illustrious Emissary as a gift?"

"We've put some thought into it," Nooj said, "But we are not sure yet, we can't seem to settle on a join gift that would make sense coming from the both of us. We may as well end up getting separate gifts."

"He says may, but I already have a gift." Lulu said coyly, "At this point I can only think that he worries that he will not think of one in time."

As she spoke Nooj laughed and reached over to her lap where his fingers interlaced with hers. His hand felt warm and Lulu thought, sometimes it was nice to be with someone who found humor in her ire instead of being turned off by it, "Well, Besaid has turned into one giant marketplace. You shouldn't have trouble finding something." Paine said as way of trying to help.

"I've seen it. Stalls all over the place and buildings going up wherever anyone can find the room. New Zanarkand will be a beautiful city but I will miss the simplicity that will be lost." Nooj told her, taking a sip of his wine with his free hand.

They continued to talk like that into the night and Lulu's memory of it slowly faded into water, gifted to the sea in front of her. Looking away from the crest of the waves Lulu climbed down from her high up perch, and found Nooj sitting at a chair near the bow of the ship. He was reading a book. Something that looked like a deep and thoughtful story. There was a beautiful drawing of a machina on the front, standing alone in the sands of the bikanel desert. The title was Sands and Memory and it sounded a bit romantic to her ears, "What's the book about?" She asked him.

"An Al Bhed boy growing up in Home without parents. He meets a young Al Bhed mechanic and she convinces him to escape Home with her. It's about them finding love but also themselves, I do not expect a happy ending."

"No?" Lulu inquired.

"No. They are currently imprisoned below in the jail cells of Bevelle for using forbidden machina. With only 30 or so odd pages left I do not see how they will escape."

Lulu could picture the story in her head. See the faded green eyes of the boy as he watched the one he loved slowly wither away, wondering if it was all worth it. If he had just fought a little bit harder to stay at Home, if the woman he loved would have be safe then. But knowing deep down in his heart that maybe the two of them would have not fallen in love if had done so, and oh how that would grip the whole of him - the loss of never knowing the dying woman who lay next to him. It was a thought he couldn't bare, couldn't dare dream. Slowly that apprehension would eat away at him, and in that moment he would know that he would do anything to save her - even sacrifice his own life. Such a thought made Lulu sad, "I hope they get to die together." She said eventually thinking on it.

"Would it not be better if one of them lived?" He asked her.

"To some maybe, perhaps to all. If one of them lived and the other died that would be a happy ending as much as one could hope, but I cannot picture anything more sad."

"Neither can I." Nooj agreed and then shaded his eyes to look out over the ocean, "I cannot see land yet, but we will be in Besaid soon."

"How do you know?" Lulu could not see land either, but she found that if she was distracted she tended to lose time.

"We have been out to sea for a few hours. I cannot imagine that we are no more than thirty minutes away."

Nooj was good at keeping time so Lulu had no reason to doubt him. He had also been out on the deck longer that she had. Instead Lulu had been down below making sure that their notes for the final meeting with Yuna were tight as could be, cutting bits and pieces that didn't seem important. Their original manuscripts had been over fifty pages and while they had cut that down to twenty-five, that itself had felt too long as well.

For almost a year now Yuna had slowly been sticking her nose into their policies, and had at a pretty impressive idea of what was going on. All she really needed was the cliff-notes version of their current political activity. Now their notes were down to fifteen pages which was a bit more manageable, and Lulu thought that Yuna would appreciate it. Yuna was so busy nowadays."I should go check on Paine and Baralai, inform them that we are close at hand."

"That would be wise yes. I think I can finish this book by the time we make port. I will let you know how it ends."

"I would like that."

Conversation at an end Lulu traveled below deck and knocked on Paine's door. When no answer was forthcoming she cracked the door open and found the room shockingly bare. The only thing in it was Paine's suitcase, open just a crack and on her bed. Everything else was untouched, not even the table in the corner looked like it had been used. Dust floated in the air. If had not been for the bag on the bed Lulu would have assumed this room ready for the next occupant.

Closing the door with a soft click she traveled down the hall, and around the corner to one of two luxury rooms on the boat. The first was occupied by Baralai, the second by herself and Nooj. There were perks for being the leaders of a country after all. Knocking she heard movement and then hushed conversation. A short moment later the door was opened and Panie looked at her, eyes a little unfocused and hair a bit ruffled. Her clothing, usually immaculate - looked as if they had been put on slipshod. For all her nonchalance this was not what Lulu had been expecting.

Everyone of course knew that Baralai had feelings for Paine, this was not a debated topic. However his feelings had up until this point been thought of as one sided. Hushed conversation often wondered if he would ever get over her, or if he was doomed to pine his whole life. The two worked together but that was as far as most people assumed it went. Now, Lulu could see that as the lie it was. Paine had the gall to look unashamed, "We were discussing gift ideas." She leaned on the door frame.

"I know what coitus looks like, having been in the act before." Lulu said in a clipped voice.

Baralai appeared behind Paine, looking a bit more put together than his partner, "I honestly have no idea what you are talking about."

Staring at Baralai Lulu couldn't help her eyes as they rolled at whatever nonsense was being spewed her way. However she wasn't about to get into an argument in the middle of the hallway, "We are about to make land. Get dressed and presentable, Yuna will be meeting us as we dock."

At her friend's name Paine paled a little, "You won't tell her will you?"

That answered a question that Lulu hadn't asked but was curious about, "I'm not sure." She told Paine honestly.

"Please don't." Paine asked again, this time with a little more force.

"I will consider it." Lulu said honestly, but conflicted.

Not wanting to stay around for whatever panic induced moment the two were sure to have Lulu walked away and ducked into a side hallway to gather her thoughts. After more than few minutes she realized they would not be still, and wandered to the room that she and Nooj shared. Here she gathered their things and begun to pack everything away. While she packed she took the time to do everything as methodically as possible. She followed that up by thoroughly cleaning the room. This did not help her mind either and she was forced to admit defeat for the time being.

Room maintenance done she returned to the deck of the ship. Here she found that she could see Besaid's beach in the distance slowly creeping up upon them. A notice from the speakers warned everyone of the approaching turf. At the bow, the chair Nooj had been sitting in had been put away and he now stood looking out over the island, and the ever growing city in front of them. Despite her misgivings Lulu had to admit that the city was coming along splendidly and she was glad that they had decided to put the money into it, "How did it end?" She asked.

"He sacrificed himself to give her the power to summon an Aeon, as long as she promised to use him to find freedom, and then never use him again. She agrees and uses the aeon to break out of the prison she's in. The book ends with her returning to Home where she spends the rest of her life working as a mechanic once more. She never finds love again but she does adopt a small boy and knows that the man that she loved will be with her always, even if it's just in spirit."

"A happy ending as much as the premise would provide. Or perhaps bittersweet, but not wholly unpleasant." Lulu commented.

"At least to those who see life as victory." Nooj agreed.

"We are not those people though." She said thoughtfully.

"No we are not."

"Someday we will write a story where death is the happily ever after." Lulu suggested, "And someday people who are not us may find it happy as well."

To that Nooj only smiled and Lulu could read the love in it.

A shout alerted them to the fact the ship was getting ready to dock. The island in front of them grew and grew until Lulu could begin to make out Yuna's smiling face waiting for them on the shore. Tidus was next to her and as he looked on his eyes shifted to look behind her as Paine slowly stepped next to her. Although he wasn't wholly Yu Yevon nor wholly Sin she knew that the man was glad to see his daughter, was glad to know that she was coming to visit. It made what Lulu had discovered weigh on her heavily. She would have to make a decision on what to do with the information, and soon. Hopefully it wouldn't derail the pomp and circumstance of ceremony too much.

A/N: I swear I don't write Lulu this way on purpose, it just happens.