it has been a while. i hope some of you are still with me. hope you like it. will try to update sooner

~oOo~

"You are missing quite the feast … but I suppose you are already aware of that. It's not like you to miss a feast. Nor is it like you ignore me … well, I mean you do ignore me but usually not quite so blatantly."

"I am not in a festive mood."

"Yes I noticed."

"Forgive me."

"Forgiven. Do you care to join us at all?"

"No."

"Not even for –"

"No. I … please, I prefer my chambers at the moment. I would not be much in the way of company."

"So I can see."

Aegnor turned and looked at his brother who lifted his hands as if in surrender. Finrod moved to the opposite side of the window seat where Aegnor sat and set himself down. He gazed out at the festivities below. The sounds of music and laughter floated along the air.

"A simple observation," he protested innocently. "One that many others have made as well I am sure."

Aegnor's eyes flicked away from the window and down towards his feet.

"I know …, again forgive me," he sighed, "I know."

He sat down across from his brother and grabbed the other goblet of wine but did not drink, just swirled the contents absently.

FInrod studied his brother. His brow furrowed, his eyes stared intently down at the cup in his hands. But he knew that it was not the wine that held his attention so acutely.

"You love her yes?"

Aegnor's head snapped up and he looked at Finrod.

"What? Who are … I do not –"

"Andreth," Finrod interrupted, "I am talking about Andreth. You love her, yes?"

Aegnor looked at his brother with open surprise.

"Oh do not look so shocked," Finrod sniffed dismissively. "Despite what you and Angrod may believe, I am not completely oblivious." Finrod adjusted his robes with a slight indignant air as he spoke. Once all was arranged to his satisfaction he turned his gaze back to his brother who had returned his own gaze back to his cup. "Yes. I feel it is safe to assume that you do."

Aegnor sighed once more and leaned back in his seat. "I suppose you will assume whatever you wish to assume so, please, by all means, assume away."

"Oh do not be a petulant child Aegnor. Is this what has been troubling you so? Your feelings for this girl?"

"This does not concern you," Aegnor answered softly. Finrod did not mistake the caution in his brother's tone.

"Of course it concerns me," Finrod said undeterred. "You are my brother. Anything that happens to you concerns me. Especially when it turns you into such a foul little mood. Have you told her of your feelings for her?"

"No."

"Do you plan to?"

"No."

"Hmm, pity," Finrod remarked.

Aegnor said nothing as he returned to swirling his cup and staring out the window.

"She is quite fond of you."

Still, Aegnor said nothing as the wine spun swiftly in the cup.

"I imagine it would bring her great joy to know you feel the same."

The wine stopped swirling as the cup went still. Aegnor set the cup down on the small table next to him and sat back in his seat. He rested his hands across his chest as he reclined, fingers laced together. He seemed to consider Finrod for a moment before speaking.

"Yes, I am sure she would. She would feel great joy and even greater joy to know that I would bind myself to her. That I would swear before Eru Iluvatar to forsake all others and pledge myself for all of eternity, till the end of Arda, the end of time, and beyond."

Aegnor paused and looked back out the window.

"But then we would not have the end of time, would we."

It was Finrod's turn now not to speak, suddenly sick at heart.

"Because time will not stop for her as it will for us. There is no eternity for Andreth. Time will not end for her. Instead, she will end in time. Her days are marked. She will age, growing old and feeble, unable to do so many simple tasks that one takes for granted in youth."

"You fear death," Finrod whispered.

"No," said vehemently, "I mean yes, of course I fear death. I fear her death. To love someone some completely, knowing there can be no other, and then knowing that she will be taken from me regardless of what I do. It rends at my heart. I know I would fade, and would gladly go rather than linger aimlessly on without her. But that is not what stops me from binding myself to her. That is not why I would deny myself and her."

Aegnor stopped once more and looked down at his hands.

"The race of Men are proud brother," Aegnor said wistfully. "And Andreth is no different. She is beautiful, she is brilliant, and she is proud. She will not understand that I will not care that she ages. That I will remain by her side throughout it all, never seeing her as the old crone that she will believe she has become. She will never understand that I will only ever see the beautiful being I first saw in the reflection of the Tarn Aeluin, stars in her hair. Instead she will feel the shame of her weakness and anger at the inevitability of her own end. I would save her from that pain and pray that she will live her life fully. But if I cannot wed her, then I shall wed no one."

Finrod leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees as he considered his brother. He looked down at his cup and found himself swirling his own wine absently. He could feel Aegnor's eyes on him.

"Would it not be worthwhile though," he said slowly, "would not the joy, however brief, be worth it? It is no small matter, what you speak of. You will carry this choice in your fea for all of time, there will be no other."

Aegnor mouth curved into a small melancholy little smile.

"Do not think I have not thought of that, simply carrying her away. Far from danger and war and strife. Keeping her safe for however many days would be gifted to use. To live in blissful ignorance of the horrors in this world, breaking with all tradition."

Finrod sat up straight in his chair as a sudden realization came over him.

"You are not staying due to some arcane rule of not wedding due to war? Please Aegnor, I would not see you do this to yourself. No one would fault you if you were to wed."

Aegnor shook his head and laughed softly. Finrod thought it sounded empty and bitter.

"I wish it were that simple brother, truly I do." Aegnor looked at Finrod, his voice was fateful. "There is … something watches, from the darkness. I cannot see it but its malignance ever moving, spreading. I feel there is something coming Finrod. I can feel it. My heart's desire is to take Andreth from here far from this danger, but that would mean I would have to leave Angrod. To leave now, to abandon my family, to abandon our people, when something so malevolent waits would be unforgiveable."

"Aegnor, have you seen something? Have the Valar come to you with the foresight?"

"No, no," Aegnor shook his head, "I have seen nothing. But I know something is coming. I can feel it. To turn away from this would negate all that we sacrificed to get here. And we came here to defeat the evil of Morgoth. To enact justice."

Finrod did not protest. His brother had set his mind and would not turn. He knew him well enough to know that. But he could not help but wonder if perhaps the true reason why his brother came to this land was to meet an Atani woman.

~oOo~

Andrea stood beneath the shower, the warm water soaking her skin and hair, and grinned stupidly. They had returned to the cabin the following day. Much earlier than she would have liked, but a surprise cold front had come in and while she had assured Agner that they would be fine, he seemed concerned and mumbled about how a cold could easily become pneumonia. Andrea would have just laughed this off as some sort of unfounded paranoia and weird "Agner knows best" attitude that he could sometimes have, but somehow she knew that he was genuinely concerned for her health. She could not help but feel the need to ease his concerns. Especially since last night ….

And that morning ….

Andrea's grin became even wider.

Even she had been surprised at her boldness. One could argue that she practically forced herself on him. But she was not going to deal with his running away any longer. She had laid her feelings out upon the proverbial table and wanted, no, demanded an answer. She was not disappointed.

The way he had stared at her, his eyes locked onto hers. And for a moment she thought she could see herself within them. That she could see into his very soul.

She wondered if this was what it was like to be in love.

Andrea's grin split her face in half.

She had fallen asleep in his arms and, for the first time she could remember, had a restful dreamless sleep.

When she awoke he was still holding her. She had looked up to see those bright peculiar eyes of his staring down at her and before she had even realized what she was doing, she reached up and pulled his head down till her mouth touched his as she situated herself beneath him and … well, this time things were not as rushed as before.

Andrea actually giggled.

Pull yourself together, she chided halfheartedly.

Andrea stepped out of the shower and took the towel that hung from the wall and wrapped it around her. She opened the door to the bathroom and peeked out into the hallway. She could hear the sounds from the kitchen and the aroma of cooking meat wafted up the stairs. Her stomach growled involuntarily. He was cooking again. She supposed it was a good thing since the kitchen was not one of her strengths.

For a moment she felt an almost uncontrollable urge to go downstairs and wrap herself around him. A wave of warmth enveloped her and she felt her cheeks go hot. It felt as if something was actually pulling at her.

What is wrong with me, she thought angrily. You would think I'd never done this before.

But then she had not. Not like this any way. There had only ever been with two people in her life and only one of them would have had anything close to some sort of meaning. A boyfriend she had known since high school. And when she had finally given in to his many attempts the result had left her feeling rather let down by the whole experience. A rushed, uncomfortable, awkward experience that always seemed to consist of her waiting for him to get done. But then, she had never been with anyone else and so assumed that was how it was supposed to be. And yet, even though the physical relationship had never been something she had connected with, she could not help but feel her world had been shattered when she heard he had moved on without delay once they both arrived at their respected colleges. She had wallowed in self-pity for quite some time after that until, after a night of heavy drinking with Katherine, she went home with a young aspiring lawyer she met at a bar. One thing led to another and she found herself once again doing something she had no real interest in. She practically ran out of the apartment after, and once she got home she sat in the showered and cried. After that she swore off sex till she felt she was ready. Till she decided she truly wanted it.

Needless to say quite some time had passed up to now.

Andrea was glad she waited.

She gathered her wits together and turned away from the stairs and went to the bedroom to grab her clothes. After she had dressed she bounded down the stairs, but hesitated before going into the kitchen. While they had unhitched the trailer and set Evy and Vic in the pen, she had not yet fed them. She could not leave her babies hungry while she sat and ate. She made for her boots and sat down to put them on when a voice called from the kitchen.

"Your babies are fine."

"Excuse me?" Andrea said looking up.

Agner stood leaning against the entrance to the kitchen, wiping his hands on a dishtowel, a little smile across his face.

"Victor and Evy," he replied, "they are fine. They are fed and sheltered and quite content. I have already take care of that for you."

Andrea set her boots back down and leaned back in her chair, her arms across her chest.

"Are you reading my mind?" she said with a grin.

Agner stopped wiping at his hands and stared at Andrea for a moment before looking down at the towel once more.

"Well," he shrugged, "you are a bit of an open book."

Andrea laughed. "Oh really," she said as walked over until she stood pressed lightly against him and wrapped her arms loosely around his neck, her chin resting on his chest as she stared up at him. "So tell me then, what am I thinking right now?"

The corners of Agner's mouth curled into a small smile as he tossed the towel across the room onto the kitchen table. His hands moved around her waist and moved slowly down till they stopped right at the top of her thighs. Andrea gave a squeak as he suddenly picked her up, her legs wrapped around his waist and he now looked up at her as he held her.

"Putting such thoughts into words would make me blush," he grinned as he turned around and began to carry her up the stairs.

Andrea laugh and buried her face into his neck as he carried her into the bed room.

Yes, Andrea was very glad she waited.

Once they were able to keep themselves from distraction, they loaded the horses in the trailer and set out on their way. It did not take long before they reached the Gadsden's and set Vic and Evy in the stables. The lithe little grey pranced off happily into the fields, but Vic hesitated and looked at Agner at the gate. Agner scratched the space between the bay's eyes and then Vic gave a little snort as he finally sauntered off towards the direction Evy took off in.

"It seems you made a friend," Andrea commented as she locked the gate.

Agner shrugged. "I hope to see him again soon."

"So far, the odds of that happening are pretty good," Andrea said as she took him by the hand.

"So far?" Agner raised an eyebrow.

"So far," she affirmed with a sideways smile.

Carolyn had implored them to stay, for some lunch at least, but Andrea regretfully declined. It was a long drive back to the city and they were already leaving later than she had wanted as it was. She still had to get up and go to class in the morning. And so, after many apologies, farewells, and promises to come back again soon they were finally off.

The return trip was not nearly as painful as the trip up, what with the mood being decidedly better. Andrea found herself becoming very sleepy only a couple of hours in and reluctantly agreed to let Agner drive. She felt horrible that he had to, seeing as he had probably not had much more sleep than her and was more than likely tired himself. But he insisted he was fine and so she relented, laid the seat back and dozed off. When she woke, the sky was already dark and they were not but a couple of hours from the city. Agner had said he was fine to drive the rest of the way but now it was her turn to insist and he pulled over so she could drive the rest of the way in. He did not show it but Andrea knew he had to be tired. He just had to be. She felt horrible at how long she had slept, leaving the bulk of the trip for him to navigate and could not help feeling relieved when he leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes. She did not wake him until they reached his apartment.

She pulled the jeep into an open spot as close as she could get near his apartment and turned to wake Agner. They only had to trudge for about a block with their bags on their backs before reaching the brownstone door. As they loaded into the elevator, Agner insisted Andrea stay the night.

"I really think you should stay, it is late and you have been driving for a while and I wish to be safe. I would be happy to take you in the morning if you did not wish to take a cab or train."

"I have classes in the morning," she said as she stepped into the elevator, "and I can't afford the parking over here."

"You can have my parking," Anger persisted as he followed behind her and used the key for his floor, "it would not be a problem for me to move my vehicle. There really is no reason why you could not stay."

"Yes, I could stay," she agreed, "but the real question is should I stay, don't you think?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I have to get up pretty early …"

"I know."

"Even earlier since I wouldn't be at home …"

"That is not a problem."

"So it's pretty important that I get some sleep."

"I would not keep you up."

The elevator pinged and the doors slid open as Andrea walked through. She set her things down as she entered the dark apartment.

"So then it really is just my safety you are thinking of."

Agner walked into the room behind her, his look of confusion slowing turning into one of realization.

"Andrea," he said with a shake of his head, "that is not …"

She turned around to give him a mischievous grin and was stopped by what she saw. Aegnor stood before her still as stone, staring past her in the dark. His eyes, which just seconds earlier had held a gentle warmth as he looked at her, were now black and seemed to burn from within. And all though he never said a word, she knew he was furious.

Andrea took a step back and looked at him curiously. She had no idea what could have made him so angry. Was it something she had said? She had barely opened her mouth to ask him when he spoke.

"What are you doing here …" Aegnor's voice was so low that she could barely make it out.

She turned to follow where his gaze fell. Across the room, wrapped up in the shadows, sat a man. At least she thought it was a man. All she could see of him were two legs that stretched out from the darkness, feet resting on the small table, one big black boot crossed over the other.

Andrea gave out a little yelp and made an involuntary jump backwards, causing her to trip over the bags she had just set down and fall into Aegnor who caught her without seeming to move, his eyes never leaving the figure in the corner.

Andrea realized that, while her heart pounded in her chest, Agner seemed completely unfazed by the intruder. It even seemed to Andrea that she could detect a tone of familiarity in his voice, a hostile familiarity, but familiar none the less. He was furious but not afraid. Agner knew this person.

She looked back over at the shadow in the corner. How Agner could even tell who this person is was beyond her. She, for her part could see nothing of the man other than his feet. Although, she did catch a glimpse of what she thought were the man's eyes, shining with a pale light that seemed to come from within, reflecting the light when there was none. Similar to a predator.

Just like Agner's.

Andrea looked back at Agner and was about to open her mouth to speak once more when the shadow moved. In one fluid movement the figure rose from the chair as a hand reached out and flicked on the lamp next to it.

"Really now Aegnor, is that any way to greet family?"

Andrea thought she may have caused whiplash from how quickly her head snapped around to look at the man, her mouth dropping open. She squinted as her eyes adjusted to the light and looked at the man before them. He was lean and stood almost as tall as Agner. His eyes were the same color as Agner's as well but beyond that the resemblance seemed to stop. His dark hair seemed to stand in stark contrast to the paleness of his skin, giving him a somewhat other worldly beauty. And Andrea had to admit, he was quite beautiful.

The man's gaze fell upon hers and a wide smile spread across his face. She thought she felt Agner grip her a bit more firmly.

"And you must be Andrea," he exclaimed as he swept across the room to where she stood and took her hand, bringing it to his lips. "I am Cirian."

His beautiful Cheshire grin and sharp eyes loomed over her as he kissed her hand. For a moment Andrea found herself unable to speak under the seeming intensity of his gaze. It was as if he were actually trying to look into her … head? Her soul? Andrea could not say, but it seemed as if he were looking for something. But as quickly as his eyes seemed to burn into hers, they were gone and he turned his grin on Agner.

"Oh you devil …"

Agner said nothing, only stared at Cirian. His face was once more unreadable, expressionless, the picture of serenity, and yet Andrea knew he was seething. How she knew, she could not say, but she did. But if Cirian noticed he gave no indication. Not that Andrea thought he would care even if he did notice. He simply stared right back at Agner with that cheeky grin. They stood like that for several seconds in what seemed like some silent, unspoken conversation until Andrea spoke up.

"Wait … family?"

Cirian and Agner both turned and looked at her as if they had forgotten she was even there. Cirian's smile widened, something Andrea had not believed possible.

"Yes, my darling," he purred, "cousins."

At this point, Andrea did not even to attempt to hide her shock. Agner swiftly moved around her and grabbed his cousin, pulling him towards the elevator they had just come from.

"Andrea would you excuse us for a moment."

Before she could even make an attempt to answer they were across the room, speaking in low voices and in a language Andrea did not understand.

She watched them and thought that there were some similarities in their build and how they stood. Andrea could see a familial resemblance in their profiles as well, although the cousin, Cirian was it? Cirian seemed to have a slightly more aquiline look to his. Andrea could not help but wonder if they had the same ears.

And then there was the language that passed in hushed whispers between them. It was the same strange language she had heard him speak while at the cabin. Strange. Musical. And always familiar.

As she stare at the two of them, it seemed as if the world around her began to blur, while they seemed to become brighter even though they stood in shadows.

I have seen this before, she thought. I have heard this language before.

She looked at Agner and his cousin, their faces taking on an otherworldly quality. But Agner burned brighter, a flame in a dark room. Her world shifted and spiraled wildly as a single thought blazed through her mind.

He will break your heart.

Agner's eyes went wide as his head whipped around to her. His normally serene expression replaced with one of pain.

"No," he whispered.

Andrea squeezed her eyes shut and willed her mind to be still but it lurched and fluttered like a moth trapped against the window.

Why should you love me, and yet set this gulf between us?

She could hear voices around her but they sounded muffled and far off, as if she were underwater. She struggled to focus, grasping for something solid. She heard the voices again. One of the voices was familiar. She knew that voice. She has known that voice her whole life. The voices broke through the fog in her mind.

"Andreth," the first called urgently.

"That is not her name you fool," the second voice hissed. "Gods Aikanaro, you really screwed the proverbial pooch on this one."

"Will you just go."

"I am only trying to help. She will be fine, I however, will need an answer soon. You know how to reach me."

Andrea's head felt as if were ringing. She felt as if she were being lifted up and carried.

"Agner?"

"Shhh," came the reply.

"What happened?"

"You became dizzy, you fainted."

"Fainted?"

"It is no surprise really, you are exhausted. You hardly ate on the trip back. You need to rest."

Andrea wanted to protest but her head was pounding, a dull throbbing pain behind her eyes. Sleep did sound good. But she had classes in the morning. She needed to go, she needed her things from her apartment.

"No you do not," said Agner. "Everything you need for your class, I will take care of. Just rest."

Had she spoken out loud? She must be feeling ill if she could not even remember speaking. Maybe he was right. She could always wake up early enough to stop by her apartment to get her books. She may be able to get in contact with Kate in time for her to bring them by the class room. Either way she decided she would worry about it in the morning. The heaviness of sleep was on her and she did not feel like fighting it. Agner was right, sleep was what she needed now. Just sleep.