Arthur was dying and Merlin had completely disappeared. No one could tell me where he was. It meant that I didn't have to deal with any awkwardness between us, but I also missed him greatly. Gaius had given me the role of caring for the general population of Camelot, it was a job we usually shared and I was drowning in the workload. There had been an outbreak of a disease and I couldn't figure out what it was, it was mainly affecting the younger children. During times like that I wished I was in the future, it was extremely difficult to diagnose without being able to run the simple tests I had grown used to. I spent the next few days outside of the castle and in the city. I only popped back to the castle for medications when I absolutely needed to so was rather unaware of the events that were happening. I knew Arthur had woken at some point, and that Merlin's mother had fallen ill soon after he had reappeared. As cruel as it was, I simply didn't have time to be fully invested in what was happening, I knew she was in safe hands with Gaius and all I cared about was making sure the children were alright. It pained me greatly but unfortunately I couldn't save them all, with each parent I had to tell my heart broke a little more. This was by far the worst part of the job. However, eventually I got it to the point where the disease had stopped spreading and the children were recovering, only then did I allow myself to return to the castle.

I let out an exhausted sigh as I fell back into my bed. I thought life here would be slower, but I found myself busier than I had ever been at home. It meant I had little time to remember my previous life, which was comforting but also terrifying. I didn't ever want to forget the people I loved and having them in my mind less made it feel like I was losing them. I knew they would be proud of me and how far I had come. In these few weeks in Camelot I had learnt so much about myself as a person. I didn't realise my strength, and my capacity for love. I had gotten so used to my routine back home, always with the same people, doing the same things. Here I was truly out of my comfort zone and frankly I was thriving. In terms of medicine at least. I was aware that by working so hard I had completely pulled away from Gaius, Merlin and Morgana. I regretted not being there to support them. Arthur's recovery had meant that Morgana was no longer catatonic, but from what I could tell she was still clearly in pain. And Merlin must be struggling to cope with his mother's illness, I wasn't aware of what was wrong with her but Gaius had told me it could be life-threatening. I allowed myself to sleep, determined to rectify things with Merlin and Morgana the next day.

I awoke to a loud knocking on my door. I groggily forced myself out of bed, unhappy that my sleep had been interrupted. Gwen was at my door looking rather stressed. We were friendly with each other due to my frequent visits to Morgana, but we had never truly spoken so seeing her at my door was most definitely odd.

"Is everything alright?" She looked nervous, I worried something had happened to Morgana.

"Since Arthur has woken and Morgana...Well I've not been there for her much these past few days. Gaius needed my help with Arthur, but now he is improving and I feel I must focus on Morgana. But I can't find Gaius anywhere and Arthur is still unwell." I noticed what she was getting at.

"Don't worry Gwen, I'll take care of Arthur until Gaius shows up. Now go to Morgana, I'm sure she'll be wanting breakfast." We shared a warm smile before I closed the door and got ready to see Arthur. We hadn't spoken much other than the odd time he walked in on Merlin and I hanging out. Merlin's words from the other day were still in my mind, I refused to believe he had any form of crush on me. He didn't know me at all, and he was a Prince so he would surely have his bar a lot higher. I entered his chambers, he was sat up on his bed looking rather grumpy.

"Finally! I'm starving, where's my food?" I chuckled at his whines, even after such a close encounter with death he was still the same Arthur. I had suspected he wouldn't have had breakfast and so bad brought some food with me. I handed the plate over to him and he hurriedly got to work devouring it. I watched as he ate, he had some difficulty moving his arm but I suspected that to be from the bite.

"I'm going to be watching you for a while, Gaius has some other work to do."

"What about Merlin?" I was unsure how to answer that, I hadn't seen him in a few days.

"If I knew where he was I'd get him for you." Arthur scoffed.

"I bet he's in the tavern." I couldn't stop myself from chuckling. "I'm surprised you don't know where he is." I frowned at him

"Why is that?" He shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, generally when you're courting someone you tend to have an idea of what they're doing." My jaw dropped in shock. Merlin and I were close friends, but there was no way he shared the feelings I had for him.

"Merlin and I are just friends." Arthur seemed confused.

"Oh. But I thought, well before we left, I thought I saw you-"

"We were hugging. Like friends do," I couldn't help but notice the small smile on his face.

"So you're not seeing anyone?" I paused, uncertain of how to answer the question. It felt entirely too personal for someone I barely knew.

"Gaius keeps me busy, I wouldn't have the time. Anyways, you should get some rest."

"I only just woke up!" At times Arthur reminded me of a child, he really never stopped whining. Honestly, I didn't know how Merlin put up with him sometimes.

"You also almost died, so if you want to get better I'd advise you listen to me." He rolled his eyes at me.

"I'm honestly fine." The relaxed look on his face irked me. Did he not know how hard Gaius had worked to keep him from dying? Did he not know how much pain everyone had been through? And now to act as if everything was ok, it was like a punch in the gut.

"You are not fine, it's a miracle you're alive. And I'm not going to be the one who lets you get worse because you are too stubborn to rest." I could sense his annoyance.

"It is not your responsibility-"

"Yes it is. It is my job to make sure you don't fucking die. And I take it seriously. And you are going to listen to me because I've been through too much shit to deal with you acting like a petulant child right now." I quickly shut my mouth. I had taken my frustrations at myself and my insecurities about my skills out on him. I prayed he didn't send me to the dungeons for my rudeness. He was staring at me but I couldn't meet his eyes.

"You are completely different to anyone I have ever met." I nibbled at my lip anxiously. He didn't sound angry, maybe slightly stunned.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to act so rudely. It's been a rough few days I shouldn't have projected that onto you."

"What's happened?" He seemed sincere and I appreciated that.

"There was some form of outbreak whilst you were ill...I couldn't save all of the children, and I guess it's been weighing on me. I know I did everything I could but...I still feel like I've failed." His knowing look calmed me somewhat.

"I understand. When my men and I are fighting and we lose someone I often feel the same...I am their leader, I will one day be their King. I know their blood is on my hands. I find guilt isn't rational, it makes you question everything, but you can use it to remind you to do a bit better next time. That is all you have control over." I stared at him intently, his answer had surprised me. I knew Merlin believed he would be a great king but this was the first time I had witnessed this side of Arthur.

"Thank you. I'm sorry again." He gave me a small smile as a means of accepting my apology. I was glad he could see my sincerity.

"I should apologise as well. When we first met... I didn't act appropriately, I am sorry for my behaviour." I smiled warmly at him, he was far more mature than I'd given him credit for. "Anyways, I will rest now. Thank you for your care, I do appreciate it." He lay himself down in the bed and covered himself with the sheets. I went to sit down on a nearby chair as he continued to make himself comfortable. "Are you staying?"

"I have to."

"I can't sleep with someone watching me." His slight sulk caused a chuckle to slip out of me.

"Well unless you want to risk dying in your sleep, it would be a rather boring way to go." He rolled his eyes as he buried himself deeper in the covers. Soon enough he was lightly snoring. I kept myself busy as he slept, reading up on some more out there treatments for various ailments. Apparently toads eyes were an excellent cure for urinary incontinence, I somehow struggled to believe this. Gwen eventually returned, thankfully she said she would continue looking after Arthur for me. I instructed her to make sure he didn't leave his bed. Then I left to seek out Gaius and Merlin, I had barely seen them over the past few days and missed them greatly. But I could not find them anywhere.

I knocked on Merlin's door. There was no answer, but I thought I'd heard some movement. I opened the door tentatively, hoping I wasn't intruding. There I saw who I presumed was Merlin's mother, Gaius had told me she had arrived in Camelot but I hadn't has the time to meet her. She looked dreadful, there were boils on her face and seemed to be struggling to breathe. I could not believe Merlin had left her alone like this. I rushed to her side. Thankfully, her pulse was steady although she was running a high fever. I hurriedly soaked some cloths in cold water and placed them on her in an attempt to lower her temperature. Merlin better have a good reason for allowing Hunith to be by herself. I stayed with her for the next few hours. She was slightly conscious and could respond somewhat when I spoke to her, but she was definitely confused most of the time. Out of nowhere she suddenly started to improve, I could see a faint golden glow radiating around her. The boils started to lessen, her breathing less laboured, her fever disappeared. There was no doubt in my mind this was magic. Perhaps that was why Merlin had disappeared. Hunith's eyes slowly opened, she was starting to become fully conscious.

"Hunith, can you hear me?" She nodded her head slightly. "I'm Tasneem. You were very ill, but you're getting better now."

"Merlin?" She croaked out, her voice hoarse from dehydration.

"He went to get help." I answered as I went to get water. Of course I wasn't sure if my answer was true, but I would not have Hunith believe that Merlin had left her for no reason. "Don't worry, he will return soon." I held the glass of water to her lips to help her drink.

"Thank you." She spoke much clearer this time. "So you're Tasneem, Merlin has written to me a lot about you." I blushed at that, I had no idea Hunith knew I even existed. "I am glad he has found a friend like you."

"I'm just glad he's in my life, he means a lot to me. Moving to Camelot was difficult, he's definitely made it enjoyable. I think I'd be lost without him." I tried not to make it apparent, but from Hunith's knowing look I feared she suspected my romantic feelings towards him.

"I think you have been a good influence on him. He seems happier when he writes to me, I am sure you mean a lot to him." From the heat in my cheeks I knew that my blush had deepened. I couldn't help but think of how close we had been when I last saw him, I so badly wanted to be in his arms again. I knew we were just joking around of course, he most likely interpreted it as purely platonic. It was just a crush and I was being silly, I wasn't willing to risk my friendship with him just because my feelings couldn't control themselves. I attempted to change the topic, talking about this was incredibly distracting.

"So I'd love to hear any embarrassing stories you have about Merlin. I need new things to tease him about." Hunith laughed heartily and proceeded to share some of Merlin's childhood stories, he seemed like quite the troublemaker.

So this isn't part of the story I'm just doing a little author's note. I didn't really expect anyone to read this story, it was more a form of therapy for me. I dunno it's just like a safe way of dealing with some of my stuff through a character who is a bit like me but who is fundamentally separate. So I do sincerely appreciate the reviews, they are incredibly kind. I don't really proofread these, I just bang them out and upload them like straight away. So to hear that my little brain rambles can be entertaining is a big confidence boost. Also thank you to anyone who has followed and favourited. I am still just writing this for me, but it's nice to know that there's some people along for the journey.