Tidus teaches Naimi the basics of blitz, and Rikku and Tidus have a heart to heart conversation.

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italics = denotes thought or memory (for the most part)

Not Mine

Breakthrough - 2 Days Until the Coronation

Once again Yuna was away at work and Tidus found himself alone. Well, not alone - he was going to meet up with Rikku, Auron, and Naimi later today. Still, the feeling of waking up to an empty and cold bed was becoming familiar. At night Yuna was his to love and to cherish, but during the day she belonged to Spira. It shouldn't have stung as badly as it did, but he couldn't get the article he had read out of his head no matter how much he tried. He was one man, and one man only. How could he compare to a whole nation of peoples, populous and diverse. Somewhere out there, there could be another man, another person who looked better at Yuna's side. Who matched Yuna's love for Spira, and who wasn't him. The idea frustrated him more than he'd like to admit.

Two years ago he had asked Yuna to marry him. No one knew about it because Yuna had said no. She had looked at the ring and smiled softly and then shook her head, why did the two of them need rings when they were connected beyond something that was greater than marriage - greater than the symbol of rings on fingers. Her parents had been in love but it hadn't stopped death from separating them, she had said. And hadn't his mother and father been married too? Look what had happened there. No she hadn't wanted to marry him. It had stung for a while but eventually the feeling had passed and he grown away from it. Maybe he wasn't as over it as he had once thought.

As he begun to shuffle around the house something in him must have registered as awake because a voice greeted him as he was tying up his long hair, "Good morning!" Yuna's cheery voice cut through his thoughts.

"Good morning." He answered her back.

"I made you porridge and a bowl of fruit for breakfast. The porridge is most likely cold but can be warmed up. The fruit should be okay. It's not the cooking magic that you can do but it's breakfast."

"If you made it I'm sure I'll love it." He answered honestly.

Yuna wasn't the best cook but she could do staples well enough. She often made him breakfast on early morning game days. For luck, she was fond of saying. He wondered if those breakfasts would dwindle once she had more pressing things to get to early in the morning. But the fact that she had woken up early enough to make breakfast before leaving told him that she was at least going to try to keep up with him. And even that made him feel bad. She shouldn't have to keep up with him, there should be nothing holding her back. Not him, not her friends, no one. She should blaze forward unafraid and with all the power and goodness afforded to her, "Are you okay?" Yuna asked, and he knew he had been leaking his own selfishness into her thoughts.

"I'm okay." He lied.

"You don't feel okay. I know what you okay feels like, and it's not this."

"Early morning blues. I'm sure that as soon as I eat this porridge you make me I'll pep right up."

"Whatever it is, you'll let me know?"

"I'll let you know."

"Okay."

The link slowly faded away and he popped the porridge into the warmer that Rikku had gifted them with a few years back. A moment after waiting for the food to be done he heard a ding and pulled the bowl out. A sprinkle of brown sugar and the blueberries that Yuna had left out for him and the food was done. He took the food outside and sat down to eat and enjoy the mid-morning sun, letting the shade of the porch awning block the ever warming sun. Halfway through his meal he heard the telltale yell that signaled the arrival of his guests, "Tidussss!"

Rikku walked down the beach, Naimi by her side and Auron walking slowly behind them. The three of them painted a pretty picture, not a traditional one - Rikku and Naimi looked more like cousins than mother and child, but a happy one nonetheless. Despite being known for his gruff demeanor Auron wore a small smile, as he watched both Rikku and Naimi. When he was little Tidus had once envisioned himself like that. Having a family he could take back to his father and say "see, see?" and maybe in that moment his father would have been proud of him. Instead his father had died thinking him a failure. Sometimes in his darker moments he wished his father could be alive to see him now. But he had to squash those feelings deep down inside of himself. After all - he had the ability to bring his father back to him, but he knew that if he did and wished it so he would be no better than Yu Yevon who resided inside himself, "To what do I owe the pleasure?" Tidus asked as they approached.

"Blitzball!" Naimi said excitedly, she was holding a practice ball under her arm.

Practice balls were much smaller than normal and usually made for younger children. Tidus remembered being given one for his tenth birthday. Of course none of it had been real, but the memory of his mother handing him the box while he tore into the packaging relentlessly was still there. As was his father's relentless teasing that he would never be as good as his old man. It hadn't stopped him from working every day, over and over again until he had his own techniques, his own skills. Then his father had disappeared, he had been scouted, and that was the end of that. Or it should have been, if not for his father laying waste to his Zanarkand dreamscape and pulling Tidus into the world outside dreams. Now he was the Captain of another team, attempting to get his second first place standing as the team leader, "Is that so?" He asked.

"It's very so." Naimi answered him.

"You did promise." Auron reminded him, catching up with both his wife and child.

"That I did." Tidus said. Putting his finished bowl of porridge down on the arm of the chair, he joined his three friends on the beach, "Pass me the ball."

Naimi threw him the ball and Tidus caught it in a tight grip, "I lobbed that with all my strength!" Naimi said slightly off put by how easily Tidus had caught it.

He spun the ball between his palms. It had actually been a pretty powerful throw for someone Naimi's size, if she wanted it there was a future in blitz for this girl. Although he was sure that Naimi didn't dream of playing the game, and instead dreamed of rivets and gears, "You did." Tidus glanced over at Rikku and Auron, "Do either of you want to join us?"

"No" Auron said at the same time Rikku said, "Yes."

"While you pass the ball around I am going to go sit on the porch." Auron intoned.

"Make us some ice tea while you're at it. We're going to get all sweaty." Rikku yelled at his retreating back.

Listening to their easy banter made Tidus's heart clench. He tried to will away the jealousy - Rikku was his best friend after all, but he couldn't stamp it down entirely. Part of him knew that he was being childish, Rikku and Auron were not Yuna and himself. The two had their own struggles as well he was sure - they could never have children and Auron's fate was tied to Rikku's, but it didn't stop him from wondering. They had decided to live a life as normal as possible, despite the odds. So why couldn't he and Yuna? "Are you okay cousin Tidus?" Naimi asked.

"Just thinking about how to begin." He continued on as if nothing was wrong, but a glance at Rikku told him that she wasn't buying it, "Right. There are a few important aspects of blitz. Passing and kicking. Passing, because that's how you move the ball around the field and kicking because that's how you score. Let's pass the ball between us a little bit so you can get used to throwing and catching the ball." When he finished speaking he passed Naimi the ball.

She caught it and then raised her hand, "What about swimming?"

"Swimming comes later. But you need to learn how to kick and pass first. Basics."

"Okay!" Naimi smiled and then threw the ball with all her might at Tidus.

He had less than a second to be shocked and then even less time to react as he put his hands down to block the ball from smacking into his stomach. The force of the throw sent him toppling over into the sand, but his fall was cushioned well enough that when he hit the ground he only let out a small "oof" sound, "Naimi that wasn't very nice." Rikku scolded her daughter.

"Sorry!" Naimi said, but her tone held laughter.

As he stood up Tidus kept his grip on the ball he was holding, feeling the grooves of the ball on his palm, "It's okay." He shook the ball at Rikku, "I caught it."

As he said this Naimi's eyes went wide, "But I threw it so hard!"

"You did. But a good blitzball player can react to any ball thrown with any sort of power, even balls thrown at their mid-sections." He told her.

"You sound like my dad when you say that." Naimi said pouting.

"How about we move on to kicking?" Rikku said interrupting.

"Alright."

Placing the ball on the sand Tidus kicked the ball as far he could, fighting against the resistance of the sand grain. The ball flew forward a good number of feet and Naimi ran after it down the beach, "I'll get it."

As she left them Rikku slid up to Tidus, "Okay. Spill."

"What?" He looked at his best friend.

"Spill. You keep staring off into the distance like you're remembering something bad. And it's not just today, it's been all week."

"I'm fine." He told her.

The moment the word were out of his mouth Rikku slugged his shoulder, "You are not fine."

Their conversation was interrupted by Naimi who had come back with the ball. She was grinning ear to ear, face flushed pink, "Got it."

Rikku smiled down at her daughter, "Why don't you try doing a few kicks like Tidus did. Until you get used to the feel of the sand."

"I'll take that challenge."

Naimi ran a little ways away from them and begun working on her kicks, as she did Tidus realized what Rikku had done a bit too flawlessly and sighed. His best friend scared him sometimes with how resourceful she could be when her mind fixated on something. It was both why he loved her and why he had long decided never to cross her. This had to be why Naimi was so well behaved, "Now. What's on your mind." She said, swirly green eyes staring up into his.

"I don't know if I'm enough for Yuna." He confessed.

"That's stupid." Rikku told him.

"Is it? She's going to be the leader of Spira Rikku. She's going to be the single most important person in Spira. And I'll just be a blitz player who occasionally appears on magazines half naked."

At that Rikku snorted, "You're more than that."

"But no one will ever know."

"They already do you idiot. And this isn't just about Sin or Yu Yevon. That's not important and I think Yunie would agree with me. This about what you were before any of that - her Guardian. For every article about how you're just an idol there is another being excited that Yuna is going to be with someone who can protect her every step of the way. All of Spira saw the fight against Vegnagun, they all saw you put your life on the line to protect her. No one can deny that, can deny that you love her."

"But is that enough for Spira?" He asked staring off into the distance.

"This isn't about Spira. Our livelihoods have never been about protecting Spira. If that is the way you look at it you might need to look again." Auron's deep voice interrupted them, "This is about Yuna, taking a new and terrifying step in her journey. About how she's going to need support, more now than ever. Guardians don't stop being Guardians when the pilgrimage ends. No matter what the support is, we must be there to fulfil it."

"Say you're right -" Tidus started.

"I am." Auron cut him off, "A Summoner can step away from the pilgrimage, and move on but the instinct of the guardian is to protect. That is hardwired inside of us and cannot be overwritten. It is who we are from when we wake up to when we go to bed. Don't lose sight of who you are, and who you fight for."

He handed Rikku a tall glass filled with tea and Rikku took a sip of it while looking at Tidus, "Have you talked to her about this?" Rikku asked him.

"No." He admitted.

"You should. Maybe not now, but after. I think it would make her happy, or at least put her at ease." Rikku told him.

Having seen her father return with glasses of iced tea Naimi scurried up to her father and mother and held her hand out for her cup. Her chest was heaving with exertion and Auron handed her the glass. With little fanfare she chugged the whole thing, holding her hand to her head as she finished making small noises of discontent, "Brainfreeze!"

"You shouldn't drink so fast Naimi." Rikku told her, "Now let's get to passing again." Elbowing Auron she smirked, "You too."

"I'm not so sure…" Auron trailed off.

"You. Too."

As Naimi tossed the ball to her father Rikku looked at Tidus, "You're going to talk to her."

"I'll talk to her." He promised.

"Good."

Rikku caught the ball thrown in her direction and threw it at Tidus. He caught it and stared down at it, his emotions were still a little unsure but Rikku was right - he had to talk to Yuna. He couldn't let his fears fester between them. Life was vast and ever changing and if his uncertainty popped up at worst possible moment it wouldn't help Yuna and it won't help him either. He had thought to get past this problem himself but the issue was bigger than him, and when he really examined it - wasn't just about him. Yuna deserved to know the state of his mind too, and she deserved to know that he was unsure about their future. It wasn't the best time for him to become conflicted like this, but that hadn't stopped his emotions. When the time was right, he would let her know.

He tossed the ball up and grinned at Naimi, it was time to get a little of his own back. Throwing the ball at the unsuspecting girl she screeched and then dodged out of the way falling back on her butt as she did so. As she stood a glint sparkled in her eye that told him the game was afoot. Throwing had been cast aside - the war was on. Across from them Auron sighed, but even his exasperation could not deter the two combatants.

A/N: Nothing like a talk with your mentor and your best friend to help you recover a bit emotionally. Tidus still isn't completely out of the angst ball but he's getting there.