spongebob patrick do blockbuster season 2 episode 3 "judd nelson and patrick go ice skating"
(patrick barges into blockbuster )
patrick: i'm so fucking pissed (kicks benjamin in the nuts) i'm going out for a cigarette (goes)
chris: testosterone. heh
amanda: are we just supposed to be used to this now?
benjamin: yeah, my nuts are pretty immune to the pain at this point
(a shot of patrick drinking a can of Budweiser and smoking a marlboro red as the song wait and bleed plays)
patrick; im so fucking sick of life!
(judd nelson hears and approaches patrick)
judd nelson; patrick, you seem a little mad
patrick: i am. look at my dick (whips it out)
judd nelson: huh..that does look weird
(a shot of a pus filled blister on patrick's dick bursting)
patrick: idk what to do, im buggin bro
judd nelson: come with me. i've had gonorrhea. i know where to go
patrick; fuck yeah, where at?
judd nelson: this place in clamapo
patrick: i call choosing the music, no call backs
judd nelson: call back...what the fuck is a call back?
patrick: it's when someone calls something and you do a call back
judd nelson: that still doesn't exactly answer the question
(a cutaway of spongebob patrick walking to the krusty krab )
patrick: i call calling squidward a [REDACTED]
spongebob: call back..i call calling squidward a [REDACTED] no call backs
(they walk into he krusty krab)
spongebob: hey squidward...YOU [REDACTED]
jim: ha, you're such an asshole, squidward
(back to normal)
patrick: let's go to the whip
(they walk through blockbuster)
judd nelson: patrick and i are to have an emotional afternoon
patrick: yeah. im oddly ready for it
spongebob: by the way, i have the steelers game on tape.
patrick: what about futurama and king of the hill ?
spongebob: yep. both are in your house
patrick: damn i haven't been in my house in like a week lol
judd nelson: lets go, pat
(they leave)
spongebob; huh, shadow is still not here
chris: yeah should we go to his house?
amanda: maybe we should, considering we are aware that he is suicidal
chris: good point
spongebob: life is so weird dude
amanda: yeah, it's changing fast...
(patrick and judd nelson driving as the song ball tongue by korn plays)
judd nelson: yeah, it's this little place on utopian place
patrick: isn't that in airmont?
judd nelson: oh yeah...huh i guess it is
patrick: dude, i can't drive in new york
judd nelson: why?
(flashback to 1994. only shallow by mbv plays)
(patrick and his gf miles are fucking in a car)
patrick: (sexually groaning) fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk
(pulls out and cums)
miles: that's it?
patrick: what?
miles: whatever
patrick: ya know, i feel like it's only a matter of time before prince orange finds out about us. considering we fuck in his car all the time
miles: i doubt it. all he does is jerk it to that damn truck all day
(prince orange in the back admiring his truck)
prince orange: (rubbing it) awww (a shot of his dick getting hard)...i'm ready to fuck miles...(he takes his dick and fucks the exhaust pipe)
(back to patrick and miles)
patrick: ok, i gotta catch the bus before prince orange wakes up
(patrick walks out of the car and sees prince orange)
patrick: fuck...hey dude
prince orange: did you just fuck my girlfriend?
patrick: uh huh
prince orange: oh great! now i can go back to fucking my truck
patrick: uhhh...ok. (patrick cutting through the yard to go to the bus. he looks at the truck for a second and throws a rock at it)
prince orange: patrick...if you ever step foot in upstate new york you will die
patrick: pshh yeah ok
(back to reality)
patrick: yeah, that's why
judd nelson: that makes no sense. new york is a huge state
patrick: that's what i thought, but the 3 times i've tried to go people almost killed me. i don't know how but they track me
(prince orange sitting at his desk)
prince orange: (sniffing a truck gear shifter and stops)...i sense him
(he pushes a button that warns all the members of the group and orders a meeting)
(chris amanda and spongebob walking into shadows house)
(they open the door. the house is a mess. bottles of diet dr pepper and natty light all over the floor and you can hear someone loudly playing mountain man by dinosaur jr on guitar)
amanda: well, i can go for a natty
(they all crack open a beer)
amanda: yep
spongebob: yep
chris: yep
(shadow comes in out of nowhere)
shadow: mmhmmm
spongebob: shadow...how are you
shadow: just livin my last days
amanda: what?
shadow: i'm gonna die soon
chris: oh no
amanda: shadow, what are you talking about?
shadow: im slowly dying. i'm gonna wait it out here
amanda: so you're not gonna kill yourself?
shadow: no, silly...(starts the cry) i'm 30! i am 30 years old. i hate money. we're going to thailand, one last time downing irresponsibly. then im gonna donate it all
chris: where's sea green been?
shadow: she's gone
amanda: of course she is...
shadow: thanks for coming. fuck. i've been too lazy to roll up something. do it. light it. put it in my mouth.
spongebob: just in time for football
shadow: who's playing?
amanda: jets and pats
(judd nelson and patrick driving)
patrick: (looks over and sees a car) huh. i used to fuck this girl in that car
judd nelson: that exact car?
patrick: i mean, probably not. but the same model
(that car taps patrick)
patrick: aw hell no
(the song promise everything by basement plays as patrick backs his car up and hits the car and drives it off the road)
judd nelson: holy shit!
patrick: fuck that was a bug out
(as the pass a road another car pulls behind them)
patrick: (looks at his mirrors) fuck another one.
(a shot from above showing patrick driving mad fast to lose the car)
patrick: fuck what do i do?
(he turns into a random street where no cars are)
(they're stopped)
judd nelson: spooky stuff
patrick: fuck. where is this place
(a shot of the sign utopian place)
judd nelson: oh..we're here
(judd nelson and pat go up and knock on the door)
(emilio esteves answers the door)
emilio esteves: yooo judd nelson. how's it been my guy
judd nelson: pretty good. just finished shooting suddenly susan
emilio esteves: what?
judd nelson: yeah, i'm currently on an nbc show no one watches
emilio esteves: yep. i've been there
judd nelson: my friend patrick has some issues with his dick
patrick: yep. by the way, you were literally the biggest asshole ever in the mighty ducks. your character only cared about fucking that kids mom and you were so mean to those kids.
emilio esteves: uhhh...so what's wrong with your dick?
(patrick whips it out)
patrick: yeah, as you can see i'm not gonna get welcomed by any pussy
emilio esteves:...i see. (he goes and gets something)
patrick: wtf?
emilio esteves: yeah, rub this on your dick
(hands it to patrick)
patrick: what kind of soap is this?
emilio esteves: i make it in my basement
patrick:...let's go, judd nelson
judd nelson: alright. see you, emilio esteves
emilio esteves: take it easy, judd nelson
(they walk to their car and see a group of weirdos standing near it)
patrick: oh fuck, prince orange?
prince orange: yeah. i said no coming to this state
patrick: what are you gonna do?
prince orange: kill you
patrick: (takes his gun out of his pocket and shoots them all)
judd nelson: well, i guess that's it
patrick: yeah...i can come to upstate new york now
judd nelson: you know these guys?
patrick: yep. they're in some club for guys who wanna fuck trucks
judd nelson: huh
(they start driving. generic hard rock plays)
patrick: dude, we're gonna drive through 23 north. ya know what that means?
judd nelson: ga's ?
patrick: fuck yeah. howard stern, best sandwich in north jersey
judd nelson: wonder why it's named after that weird guy
patrick: the world may never know. it should be named after terry bradshaw
judd nelson: what? if anything it should be named after martin brodeur or joe namath or something
patrick: well, unfortunately it's howard stern