spongebob patrick do blockbuster season 2 episode 9 "occupy bikini ave"
(the crew all at blockbuster)
patrick: yo i got a dreamcast last night when i killed henry b rollins
chris: oh yeah we heard all about that
patrick: yep. clapped that little punk. dude i need soda. all we have is shadows diet dr pepper
amanda: we have energy drinks
patrick: word. (goes to the fridge) mann cant wait to have that red bull (reads label asteroidea energy boost) woah what is this bull shit?
benjamin: asteroidea energy boost. a new drink we're selling here
patrick: who created this drink. use the computer
(amanda typing)
amanda: some guy named cody finn
patrick: that's not a star fish last name! what the fuck? this asshole is using my people to sell energy drinks? (reads label) wow it says "bring out the inner beast" that's bull! that's obviously pushing the stereotype that star fish are prone to angry outbreaks
chris: is it really doing that?
patrick: yes! they know what they're doing. true scum. only star fish can say that word. hell, even brittle can say it...maybe even sea cucumbers and urchins can depending on where they grew up. but not cody finn. where's he from?
amanda: el paso, texas
patrick: asshole. but all i know is this can't be sold here
benjamin: nooo we have to?
patrick: get fucking red bull. not species stereotyping bull shit
chris: patrick, why does it matter?
patrick: because my heritage is being mocked to sell an energy drink. what if i just used shrimp to sell something...how would you feel?
chris: i wouldn't care
patrick: whatever, you stupid shrimp
benjamin: we just need to sell them. stay cool patrick
patrick: you're telling me to stay cool? yeah, and mike piazza is coming here to rent a copy of cocktail
(mike piazza walks in)
mike piazza: hey do y'all have cocktail?
(spongebob and shadow having a smoke out back)
shadow: man this hipster shit sucks. today someone tripping on acid came up to me and told me i had to go to college. asshole
spongebob: well i have a plan
shadow: what is it?
spongebob: we get all of us real bikini bottom folk together and riled up on bikini ave. right in hipster center. it'll be called occupy bikini ave
shadow; fuck yeah. we know all the cool people who'll fuck shit up
(patrick benjamin walking in the parking lot)
patrick: hey, spiciest asshole, stop selling those fucking drink
benjamin: i can't!
patrick; are you really that bigoted, asshole?
benjamin: patrick, you will have trouble understanding the situation i am in. just hang in there with me and stop bitching about that shit
patrick: woah, woah, woah...i dont want people around getting even more bull shit ideas about who starfish are. we arent bad people who are full of rage. we arent alcoholics and we aren't criminals
benjamin: well i guess it's a coincidence starfish are responsible for 58% of crime in passaic county yet make up 12% of the population
patrick: bitch those numbers are inaccurate (punches benjamin. benjamin punches back, punches him again, grabs him against and holds him against a tree)
benjamin: dont fuck with those energy drinks...you wanna see what happens when i reach my breaking point? (tosses him on the ground and drives away in his car) punk starfish
patrick: ill show that prick
(after closing. they're all saying bye)
spongebob: bye guys
amanda: later
chris: see ya bob
spongebob: patrick, you crashing at the pineapple?
patrick: yeah. i just need to deal with some shit
spongebob: ok
(they all leave. patrick: takes the mini fridge and takes it to the back. he shoots it several times and pours lighter fluid on it and sets it on fire. patrick gets in his truck and leaves)
spongebob, shadow, larry, kevin, evelyn and various other bikini bottom citizens all at the pineapple
spongebob: so we gather and protest.
larry: what are we protesting ?
spongebob: all of the shit happening with gentrification.
don: yeah we need to get those scumfucks out of here. shit is getting oddly expensive
spongebob: yeah 72 cents per pound for bananas. absolutely nuts
evelyn: let's show these mother fuckers who bikini bottomites are !
(they all get hyped)
patrick enters
patrick: oh fuck is this a party ? fuck yeah
larry: i can use a beer
(it turns into a party. patrick is fucking drunk)
patrick: man this is fucking awesome dude. i love this town. i love the people i grew up with. (hugs larry) you beautiful lobster. tomorrow we shall fuck shit up. bikini bottom, new jersey! let's goooooo
(everyone's all hyped)
patrick: (sniffs a line) wooooo!
(the next day. spongebob and patrick come in all hungover)
patrick: man we haven't thrown down like that in a min
spongebob: yeah dude. unplanned fun...that doesn't happen much anymore.
benjamin: patrick. meet me outside
(outside)
patrick: what is it bitch?
benjamin: i told you not to fuck with my shit. you fucked with my shit
patrick: i don't care, you spiciest fuck
benjamin: i was working with tony soclamos crew. they're gonna kill me because you destroyed my product
patrick: finally. the dick gets what he deserves
benjamin: you're unbelievable. oh my god. oh my god. fuck what do i do?
patrick: i can make it easier and kill you now...you're on you're own
benjamin: nooooo
(inside the store)
spongebob: i wanna keep this protest peaceful. but please do say mean stuff to every hipster you see. it's important
chris: what is this gonna achieve
(patrick comes in)
patrick: i don't know, you beer battered shrimp
amanda: hypocrite.
patrick: ok. i'll fuck the most shit up at occupy bikini ave. what an epic name. i'm fucking hyped
spongebob: you better not get violent.
patrick: fuck you! all of you hate starfish, the way you treat me. fuck off, all of you
(he goes out for a smoke)
he over hears benjamin on the phone with tony soclamo
benjamin: man i'm sorry. please don't hurt me
patrick: pshh. asshole. (he gets in the truck and goes home until occupy bikini ave)
(occupy bikini ave)
(a whole bunch of people gathered. spongebob has a megaphone)
spongebob: what do we want?
crowd: our town back
spongebob: when do we want it?
crowd: now?
spongebob: we are not gonna be kicked out of our town by a whole bunch of privileged assholes! not now not ever!
hipster approaches
hipster: we had turned your town into a place of culture !
patrick: fuck off!
(judd nelson sees patrick)
judd nelson: patrick!
patrick: what's up man?
judd nelson: nothin much. as mayor im just observing
patrick: yeah. they're talking about the gentrification
judd nelson: oh yeah. that. huh, you really miss a lot in this town when you spend all day watching 80s movies i was in
patrick: yeh this place is like my life. it sucks
judd nelson: i saw benjamin talking to tony soclamo and his crew behind the abandoned shop rite
patrick: oh yeah.
judd nelson: should we check it out. ?
patrick; yeah. i wanna watch it happen
(benjamin is sitting and being spoken to by paulie whalenuts, squilvio, and tony soclamo)
benjamin: please don't hurt me
tony soclamo: dont worry...(punches him)
benjamin: ahhhhhshs
squilvio: do you not remember what we said.
(patrick and judd nelson observing )
patrick: asshole
judd nelson: do you really want him to die?
patrick: of course.
judd nelson: he's been pretty fine with you
patrick: he hates starfish
judd nelson: make him change his view. save him
patrick: dammit. fuck ok (cocks his gun)
(squilvio pointing a gun at him. patrick shoots him in the head)
tony soclamo: fuck! (shoots and misses patrick. patrick gets a shot at him in the head)
patrick: fuck you, don of new jersey
(paulie whalenuts shoots him the the arm. he drops his gun and falls down)
paulie: say goodbye, cock suckah
(benjamin sees the gun. he picks it up and shoots paulie whalenuts)
(silence)
benjamin: thank you patrick.
patrick: i'm sorry about everything man. i have you a reason to hate starfish, but i hope we can just speak like two fish
benjamin: this should only stay between us
(judd nelson comes)
judd nelson: and me
benjamin: so you need to go to the hospital
patrick: nah can't afford that shit
benjamin: what a sad world we live in
patrick: yea. they don't give a fuck about us. the rich get richer and i stay broke
judd nelson: let's go to that protest
(they approach spongebob)
patrick: what's going on?
spongebob: nothing's happening
judd nelson: what do we do now?
spongebob: what we do best. party hard until we out party these fucks
(the episode fades out as the chorus of calendar hung itself plays