Prompt: You have turned into your favorite Nep character for 3 days
I. HAVE DONE NOTHING. BUT WALK FOR THREE DAYS. You know when you read Self Insert fanfiction, the poor Sod is usually lost with nowhere to go and is being chased by something. Not me, I've been walking in the same direction for the last three days, with not so much as a Dogoo trying to fight me!
I should start at the beginning: I'm IF. Well, I'm in the body of IF. Those of you who lurk the /r gamindustri subreddit know me as smxsonic. No, I don't know why I'm in Iffy's body. No, I was not a girl before becoming IF, so that's awkward. And No, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I AM DOING!
Oh sure, when other Self Inserts get to whatever Fandom floats their fantasy boat (Somtimes, literally) they gain enough instincts to know what to do next. Me? I gain just enough instincts to not stumble with putting on my clothes. So, thanks to whatever shadow-like cabal of godlike beings who plop nerds like me into whatever fantasy worlds we like; I don't if I have a mission or what it would be, but AT LEAST I KNOW HOW TO TIE MY LEAFY BOW.
I'm also hangry if you couldn't tell. Apparently Dogoo jelly doesn't cook well, and tastes more like glue than jelly… Don't ask me how I know that. So I'm tired, hungry and I'm lost. Great, if my genre savviness is correct, it'll be at least two more chapters until I meet any of the others. Look, I'm in Gamidustri, I can break the fourth wall however I wish! God, meeting Compa is going to be awkward, especially if Compa turns out to be as much of a tease as I think she is.
One silver lining to this is the fact that two things got to come with me: My AJ Styles hat, which I wore with a ponytail in back, being held up by the leafy bow; and my Sonic hoodie, which… when I wore it, I looked more like Neptune than I really wanted so I ended up tying it around my waist, which ,might have been a bad idea given how Iffy dresses.
Oh hey, a clearing, finally, and the cybernetic arches tell me I'm close to Planeptune, cool. In fact, I know exactly where I am: Virtua Forest. The Dungeon where it all began. That explains the abundance of Dogoo.
There's an explosion in the sky. Explosions are never a good thing. Even when they're controlled, they're never a good thing as anyone who's tried to audition for Jackass can tell you. I look up and I see a light. A light that was getting brighter… and Closer.
I find myself at an impasse. The Laws of comedy and, let's face it Neptunia basically require me to be Nep-Nep Style's landing pad. In the face of that, I could just wait for the inevitable, but that's not as funny. But it feels silly to start panicking for the sake of a joke and..
Total blackness, okay seems like Neptune decided to end that line of logic.
"Um… Hello?"
Oh, hey, a voice that's not mine! Histoire's if I'm not mistaken. I would question why she was contacting me, but I'm a Self Insert, it's par for course.
"Are you Neptune?"
"Sorry, Wrong number, Histy," I answer.
"Histy? Where did that come from, I never told you my name,"
"Well, I don't know if you can see me or not, but I'm not exactly from around here…"
"Oh," she paused, " Oh dear me, I think that might have been my fault."
"Eh?"
"Well, I tried to contact Neptune in the Console War, and I might've gotten my wires crossed…"
Ah, Wibbly Wobbley Sharesy Waresy stuff.
"You should be home after 3 days"
Of course.
"It's been three days" I say.
"Then you should be home soon."
"Really? That's… Boring."
"If you'll excuse me, I need to talk to Neptune."
And thus, I was alone again. I guess it's for the best, I don't think I could take an adventure with Neptune and Compa. Well Iffy, I guess you get to meet you're best friends a bit earlier Iffy. You're welcome.
In Compa's apartment, IF squirmed a little in bed as her baseball cap and her hoodie dissappeared in a golden light.