If Only In My Dreams
Chapter 5
Convincing Dr. Saltzman to allow herself, Lizzie and Kaleb to head to Georgia was near impossible without giving him a little bit of insight, and when they did give him insight, he insisted that they be accompanied by an adult. And he insisted that he be that adult. Hope didn't like that idea, but then again, the first two times hers and Ryan's paths had ever crossed had been because she and Dr. Saltzman had been on some kind of "road trip". So maybe he was the key to them finding what they needed. Of course, they didn't tell him everything that he needed to know about this little trip of theirs, and within 20 minutes of the drive, both Hope and Lizzie were asleep, while Kaleb refused to give Dr. Saltzman any more information than they already had.
"You left me too soon, Sweetheart." Ryan commented from the bed as Hope stepped out of the bathroom.
"Can I make it up to you?" Hope asked as she moved to join him.
"Probably." Ryan said, trying to keep a straight face, but failing and smirking at her.
"You are still being an ass, Ryan." Hope said as she climbed onto the bed and curled up into Ryan's side.
Ryan didn't respond. He just wrapped his arms around Hope's body and held her close. He felt a tug at his heart to tell Hope the truth. That while this home of theirs was definitely a dream, that he definitely wasn't. That somehow she had saved his consciousness. But he couldn't bring himself to do so. He had tried to get her to understand that already, without actually telling her that he was, in fact, his consciousness made personified in this place that she had created.
"Hope, we both know that you created this place, but why did you create it?" Ryan asked.
"I didn't know that I had until I was here the first time." Hope admitted.
Ryan just nodded at that and fell silent again. His out of character quietness had Hope glancing up at him. His eyebrows were knitted together in concentration and he looked a little bit upset. That startled Hope, because not once since she had first entered the dreamscape the other night had she seen anything but a smile or playful smirk on Ryan's face. The slight down tilt of his lips that wasn't quite a frown had Hope remembering their last day together. Ryan had been frowning a lot that day. She briefly considered that he was real, because he certainly felt real, but she shook that thought away. There was no way that this was actually Ryan. Moving to straddle Ryan's lap, Hope took his face into her hands and pressed her lips to his.
"What's wrong, babe?" She asked softly.
"Why me, Hope? Why do you imagine a life with me? I've done more horrible things to you than good, yet you imagine a life for us together." Ryan inquired, his voice pained, breaking Hope's heart.
"Yes, you've done horrible things, but that doesn't make you a horrible person Ryan. And I love you. So why wouldn't I imagine a life with you?" Hope asked tilting her head to the side as she ran her hands up and down Ryan's chest.
"Hope!" Ryan snapped suddenly, grabbing her wrists. "I'm sorry." He added immediately at her wide eyed expression. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate you wanting a life with me, but I can't help thinking that you've been building this place in your mind for a while. It's too intricate for it to have been a sudden thing when you went to sleep the other night. There's pictures all over the house of us together that show years' worth of a relationship. We're engaged here, but we are exactly as we were in the real world." He said.
"Why does there have to be specific reason, Ryan?" Hope asked in a small voice as she twisted her hands in his to lace their fingers together.
"Hope, I've never had anyone do something like this for me. So I can't help the nagging in the back of my mind that there's an ulterior motive. I don't want there to be any other motive other than you loving me, but I just need to know, Hope." Ryan said as he brought Hope's wrist to his lips and pressed a kiss to it.
"The only thing that I can think of is that I made it subconsciously as a safe place to keep your memory. A safe place to come when I slept so I'm not plagued by nightmares. As far as when I started creating it, I really don't know." Hope said as she slid down Ryan's body so that she was laying on top of him, with her head on his chest, resting above his heart.
"Fuck, Hope." Ryan groaned.
"Did I do something wrong, baby?" Hope asked as she looked up at him and bit her lower lip.
"Wrong? No. Teasing? Yes." Ryan said as he pulled Hope back into a sitting position on his lap and rested his hands on her hips.
Hope pouted before resting her hands on Ryan's chest and leaned down to press her lips to his in a soft kiss. When Ryan didn't respond to the kiss like he usually did, Hope pulled back with a frown. Something seemed to still be bothering him, but nothing she did was helping. With a sigh, Hope climbed off of Ryan's lap and moved to her side of the bed, turning her back to him. With her right hand under the pillow, supporting her head, Hope stared at, and fiddled with, her engagement ring. She felt more than heard Ryan moving behind her back, before he was leaning over her and pressing a kiss to her neck.
"I'll be right back, Sweetheart." Ryan commented.
"Mhm." Hope hummed.
Ryan pulled the covers up over Hope's body before climbing out of bed and pulling on a pair of pajama pants and heading downstairs to the kitchen. He hadn't been sure of what he had seen over Hope's shoulder when Hope had been on top of him, but seeing the young vampire standing in the kitchen, Ryan knew that he had seen him correctly. Kaleb had definitely shown up.
Legacies – IOIMD – Legacies
"Why did you pull out so quickly?" Lizzie asked sleepily.
"Girl... just, no." Kaleb said as he gave Lizzie a look before his eyes darted to Hope.
Lizzie looked between her sleeping best friend, and the vampire, and then it clicked in her sleep idled mind. Hope dreamt about Ryan. Kaleb had seen them actually having sex, or at least close to it. Turning her head to the side to hide her smirk, Lizzie cleared her throat.
"We need to wake her up. She knows more about all of this than any of us." Lizzie commented.
"I'm confused. You did the head dive, why isn't she waking up?" Alaric asked.
"She wasn't in a position to be woken up." Kaleb replied awkwardly.
"Guys, I need to know what we're looking for here. And neither of you will tell me anything helpful. We need Hope to wake up." Alaric said. "And soon." He added when they passed the 'Welcome to Georgia' Stateline sign.
"She was uh, having a really good dream. And it's not like we need her to wake up right now." Kaleb replied. "We just need her awake once we get to where we're going." He added.
"Get back in there." Lizzie commented.
Kaleb gave Lizzie another look, but simply shook his head. Taking Hope's hands again, he went back into her mind. He just really hoped he wouldn't be ending up back in the bedroom.
Legacies – IOIMD – Legacies
"Kaleb, right? What the hell are you doing here?" Ryan asked in a low voice.
"Trying to wake Hope up." Kaleb replied. "Didn't mean to intrude on you two doing the nasty." He added.
"We weren't..." Ryan started before sighing. "I'll go tell Hope that she needs to wake up. Please leave... and don't come back. Hope might freak out if she knows anyone can show up here." He said.
"This place is dope. Our girl has some mad skill, but tell me somethin'... how are we able to have a conversation if Hope's dreaming about you?" Kaleb asked.
"She's not our girl. She's mine." Ryan growled. "And she's not. She thinks she is, which is easier for her to believe than me telling her the truth, which is something I can't explain." He added.
"Does she know how possessive you are of her?" Kaleb asked with a raised eyebrow.
"That's none of your business." Ryan said.
With a nod, Kaleb left and Ryan let out a sigh. He needed to tell Hope the truth before her friend did. It would be better coming from him than from someone else. And to hell with not being able to explain the how, just that he told her the truth, and she believed him. But when Ryan got back up to the bedroom, all thoughts and intentions of just coming out and telling Hope the truth flew from his head when he found Hope kneeling on the bed, naked and biting her lip.
"What are you doing, Sweetheart?" Ryan asked with an amused smile as he leaned against the doorframe and folded his arms across his chest.
"Waiting for you. Everything okay?" Hope questioned, beckoning him closer.
"Yeah, just needed to get something to drink." Ryan replied as he crossed the room to the bed and wrapped his arms around Hope's waist.
"So you're not getting bored of me?"
"I could never get bored of you, Hope. For starters, I don't think that's possible in a dreamscape."
That word. Dreamscape. It packed a punch to Ryan's gut as he gave Hope a light kiss and pulled away from her. With a confused frown, Hope lowered herself until she was sitting on the bed, looking up at the man she loved. He claimed that he wasn't getting bored with her, but everything since she had come back to him this time had felt different. Like he wasn't happy here anymore.
"You need to wake up, Hope." Ryan said as he moved to climb under the covers.
"I don't want to wake up. I want to stay here with you." Hope responded as she moved to straddle his lap.
"I want that too. But your friends need you to wake up." Ryan commented slowly.
"How would you know that?" Hope asked. "You didn't go downstairs to get something to drink, did you?"
"No, I didn't."
"Then why did you go downstairs?"
"Your friend Kaleb was here. He first showed up when we were making out, and he just as quickly disappeared as he had appeared, but on a hunch, I went downstairs, and he was in the kitchen."
"Kaleb can get here?"
"Yes."
"Then I need to make this place more secure. If Kaleb can get here, then anyone can. And this was supposed to be a safe place for you. For us."
Hope moved off of Ryan's lap and made her way straight to the closet to pull something on. Despite realizing that Hope was starting to spiral, Ryan couldn't help the smirk that tugged at his lips as Hope pulled one of his shirts over her head, instead of something of hers. He really liked seeing her wearing nothing but a shirt of his. But when Hope moved towards the door, Ryan quickly got out of bed and followed her downstairs and towards a bookshelf in the living room.
"What are you looking for, Hope?" Ryan asked.
"A grimoire. There has to be one here. I can't imagine creating this dreamscape as a safe place for us, and not having thought to make sure a grimoire was here. Because whatever happens in my life, I'm a witch, first and foremost, and I'm never going to give that up. So there has to be at least one." Hope replied as she moved to the bookshelf on the opposite side of the TV.
Seemingly finding what she was looking for, Ryan watched as Hope pulled a very heavy looking book off of one of the shelves before sitting down on the floor and tucking her legs under her. Not knowing what to do to help, if there even was anything that he could do to help, but feeling like standing was just awkward, Ryan sat down on the edge of the coffee table, simply taking in the sight of the woman he loved searching for a way to better keep him safe.
Legacies – IOIMD – Legacies
Lizzie watched Hope's face intently as Kaleb dropped the tribrid's hands. The blonde expected her friend to immediately start stirring awake, but when Hope remained asleep, Lizzie became concerned. Locking eyes with Kaleb, the two shared a private, silent, conversation as Alaric's eyes darted from one teen to the next, waiting for something to happen that would give him a clue as to what the three of them had going on.
"Did you convince her to wake up?" Alaric asked irritably.
"It's in the works." Kaleb replied vaguely.
Alaric shot the young vampire a sharp glare before pulling over and turning the car off. He could see the field that he had once woken up in, with no memory of how he had gotten there, up ahead, but he refused to drive another inch before one of the teenagers in the car started talking. Lizzie noticed the hard set of her father's eyes and gulped audibly. Placing a hand on Hope's shoulder, the blonde Siphoner lightly shook her friend, the only normal attempt to wake the other girl up.
Legacies – IOIMD – Legacies
Hope looked up the grimoire on her lap when there was a light shaking of the house. With a whimper, Hope returned her gaze to the pages of the book, trying to find a protection spell that she could easily magnify to protect this place. Not of the ones that she was finding worked. They were all about to protect physical objects. Not mental dreamscapes. By the time she got to the end of the book, and had found nothing useful, Hope looked up at Ryan with tears in her eyes.
"I can't keep you safe. If Kaleb can show up here, then there's a chance that your father can too." Hope said, her bottom lip quivering as she tried to fight back the tears.
"Hey, you have done everything you can to keep me safe. You didn't let the Krampus kill me, and you made this place for us. You have shown me more love in just a couple of days than I've ever experienced over the centuries that I've been alive, combined. Keeping me in your heart and keeping my memory..." Ryan trailed off as he moved to lay Hope down and hover over her. "Keeping my memory alive in this place, that's more than I could ever ask you to do. And if my father crosses you, I'm sure your friends will keep you safe so that you can continue to keep me safe."
"Ryan..." Hope whimpered. "I can't lose you. I refuse to lose you. I saw what my father went through when my mom died. I will not allow myself to have realized too late that I lost my Mate." She said as she wrapped herself around Ryan's body and pulled him down.
"You're not going to lose me, Sweetheart. You're going to wake up, and you and your friends are going to find my body." Ryan replied while pressing against Hope's center.
"Make love to me one more time before I wake up." Hope said.
"The longer we hold off on you waking up, the greater the chance of Kaleb returning and seeing something none of us want him to see." Ryan commented, leaning down and capturing Hope's lips in a kiss.
Hope pouted. Wrapping her arms and legs tighter around Ryan's body, Hope buried her face in his neck and took a deep breath. With a kiss to his neck, and a murmured 'I love you' in his ear, Hope allowed herself to wake up. When she opened her eyes, she was greeted with 3 very different reactions: Kaleb was avoiding eye contact with her, Dr. Saltzman was giving her an annoyed and exasperated look, and Lizzie... well, Lizzie was giving her a look that was asking for all of the details. Ignoring her friend for the time being, Hope met Dr. Saltzman's gaze with a leveled one of her own.
"Are we at Triad?" Hope asked.
"Nearly. But I refused to drive the last bit of distance until I either got something out of these two, or until you woke up. Now tell me what the hell we're looking for here." Alaric replied.
"We have a hunch of what happened to Malivore after Ryan and I went into the pit. We need video surveillance to confirm our suspicions and then we're going to track his movements and take him down." Hope replied.
"And why couldn't I have been informed of this before we left the school?" Alaric asked.
"Because you wouldn't have let us come if we had told you. This is something that I need to do, Dr. Saltzman. Lizzie and Kaleb have offered to help me." Hope explained. "So we're starting inside Triad." She added.
"Like hell you are. The last time you were here, Hope, we lost you for nearly 7 months." Alaric argued.
"5 months." Hope corrected.
"I'm counting the 2 months prior to Josie giving everyone back our memories of you."
"I'm not asking for your permission to do this, Dr. Saltzman. I need to find Ryan, and the only way I can think of doing that is by tracking Malivore's movements after Ryan and I went into the pit."
"What even makes you think that you'll find anything after all this time?"
Hope glanced between the other 3. None of them knew. Landon hadn't said anything. Maybe he didn't even know. Which would make sense, she had snapped his neck before anything really happened. But he had woken up and the pit had been empty, hadn't it? So what the hell did he think happened? Of course, Landon probably didn't even have a clue. The two people that he talked to last before he woke up in a pile of ashes had both gone into the pit. Up until just a week or so ago, Landon probably hadn't even remembered that Malivore was his father.
"I tried to sacrifice myself to stop Malivore. I'm the only one of my kind. The only being with blood from all three protected species. But since I haven't activated my Vampire side yet, it didn't work. Malivore didn't just 'disappear' and Landon sure as hell didn't defeat him. Malivore wants to possess Landon's body so that he can continue his bloodline without risking permanent death. Since Landon can regenerate, Malivore's plan is to use Landon as a meat puppet. But think about it... if Triad had any inkling that Malivore still existed, don't you think they would have shown up at the school, demanding answers? That's exactly what he would want them to think. That he was defeated. So he's buying himself time, trying to figure out a way to complete his plan of taking over Landon's body. And to buy himself time, I think he's posing as a human." Hope explained.
"Hey... I thought of it." Kaleb said quickly.
"Right, Kaleb was the one to suggest that we've been looking for the wrong thing. And then when Lizzie asked what else we could be looking for other than a giant mud monster, I remembered what Landon had said that Ryan had told him. That as Malivore continued to create his "children" in his image, that they started to look more and more human." Hope corrected. "So there's a chance that he is using a human visage to fly under everyone's radar. So if we can get security footage of the night that Ryan and I went into the pit, then we can see what happened between then and when Landon woke up, and we should be able to retrace his steps." She added.
"There's more that you aren't telling me." Alaric commented.
"That's all you need to know right now, Dr. Saltzman. The rest is my personal business." Hope replied.
"Fine. It's better than what you have given me up until this point." Alaric said with a sigh.
With a sigh of her own, Hope could have sworn that she felt Ryan's lips pressing a kiss against her temple, and she closed her eyes briefly at the sensation. Step one in hunting down Malivore and finding Ryan's body was underway and she had faith that she would be truly reunited with him soon enough.
"I love you Ryan." Hope whispered to herself.
"I love you too, Hope."