[Trigger warning!] (sorry for the time jumping in this chapter.)
Jay's eyes fluttered open. He groaned as the bright light blinded him. He looked around and his heart began to race as he realized where he was. His breathing quickened as he started tearing off his blanket and reached to pull out the IV on his neck.
I hate hospitals.
He ignored the blood dripping down from his neck as well as the loud and rapid beeping coming from the heart monitor. Jay began to sit upright and just as he wanted to leave his bed Will rushed inside.
"JAY! What are you doing?", Will rushed to his side and carefully tried to push him back down but his brother resisted.
"I don't want to be here.", Jay started crying.
Maybe it was because of the pain, maybe it was because of his fear of hospitals, Will thought. Will took a gauze and pressed it onto his bleeding neck.
"It's okay Jay. I'm here. You've been here for four days now. No one wants to hurt you. We just want to help you get better.", Will said calmly. "Also I need to stitch that up. Don't ever just pull out your IV again."
Both just sat there for a moment until Jay calmed down.
"I'm sorry.", Jay said.
"It's alright. Will you let me stitch you up and tell you how you are?"
Jay just nodded. He laid back down and Will readjusted the arm and checked to see if any stitches had opened up. Luckily Will only had to stitch up his neck and set a new central venous access.
"Can't you do that via needles in my arm or something similar? That thing on my neck was annoying."
"Jay?", Will asked in confusion. How did he feel the IV access on his neck?
"What?"
"You were in a coma for four days."
"I was?", Jay looked at him with big eyes. "But I was here all the time. I heard you talking. I… I even felt everything while you guys operated on my arm… There were three surgeries, right?"
"Oh my god, Jay…", Will was shocked. He didn't think his brother would have intraoperative awareness.
"Don't ask me if I'm alright. You know I hate hospitals. The moment the bomb went off I just wanted to die… I didn't want to be in here again. It was already enough being in here for a couple days three months ago…"
"Jay you can't say that! Do you know how Hailey feels? How she is? She didn't wanna talk to anybody the first two days because we wouldn't let her see you. She was so scared you might not make it.", Will said with an angry tone.
"She didn't want to go in the warehouse… I yelled at her that if she didn't want to go inside she should leave me and I'd go in alone… I should have listened to her…"
"I don't know much about your work but next time she tells you not to go inside or to do something in a different way; DO IT! Listen to her for God's sake! You're not at war anymore! You're at home and it's not about life or death, it's about living! You have friends here that care about you and want you to be alright and healthy! Dammit Jay, do we need to tell you everything? Hailey's in love with you! You love her! We all see that! Now take that chance! Build a life here! Be happy together!"
"It's not that simple, Will."
"Yes, Jay! Yes it is!", Will yelled at his brother.
Both went on without saying anything to each other anymore. Will stitched up his brother and put his IV on his uninjured arm. Will carefully looked at the injured arm. It looked good giving the circumstances.
Before leaving the room Will asked if it was alright to bring Hailey there now that he was finally awake.
"Not now, please.", Jay said.
CPDCPDCPD
Will walked to Hailey. She was doing really good and was supposed to be released from the hospital the next day. Will entered her room.
"Hi Will. What tests do you want to do now?", Hailey asked smiling.
"No tests this time. I have news.", Will said and sat next to her bed.
"News? Is Jay alright?"
"He woke up."
"What? Didn't you say it might still take a couple days?"
"Yeah… I just heard the alarm and when I walked in he was sitting on his bed and he wanted to leave. You know he hates hospitals.", Will said.
"But is he alright?"
"Yes. He's doing fine. I think he just needs a moment for himself."
"I want to see him right now."
"I thought so.", Will smiled. "Come with me."
Before they got to his room Will warned her that he really wanted to be alone at the moment and that Will actually just wanted to help his brother then.
"It's alright. I can handle him.", she said and entered his room.
"Hailey.", Jay said.
Hailey looked at him for a moment. He was awake, he looked better than the day before. She was so happy to see his beautiful eyes again. She smiled at him and sat down on the chair next to his bed.
"Please just…", Jays started but Hailey interrupted him.
"I'm not leaving you alone. You need me now! It's the thing that works between us. Jay, I don't know if you remember anything after the explosion…"
"Hailey stop. I remember everything. Not just the bombing or you telling me that you love me. I remember the ambulance ride, the surgeries, the talking in this room… I noticed everything…", Jay said. Hailey saw that he was a bit annoyed and exhausted. He really wanted to be alone this time. She'd never seen him like this before.
"We gotta talk about this sooner or later, you know. I've been hiding feelings for you for far too long now.", she said.
"How are you doing, Hailey? Are you okay? How bad are your injuries?", he deflected.
"I'm alright. Some internal bleeding but it was quickly fixed. I was constantly worried about you, though. How do you feel? You look exhausted."
"I don't know… I've been through so much pain in the last few days and I just want it to be over. Will said my arm looks good considering that the bones are badly broken and they were able to save it. I heard them talk while operating on me… They were really close to taking the arm off…", Jay said.
"Yes… I heard that. Will told me everything. I needed to know. Also I saw your arm… when it was under the stone… I thought it was already gone. I'm so happy for you that it's all gonna be fine!"
"Do you think we can just go back to normal after this?", Jay asked.
"Why not? You just got to be with someone that can help you. I talked to Dr. Charles a lot and I think you need to do the same. You even need it more than I do."
"It was just three months ago…"
"I know, Jay. And we can make it through everything if you just let me help you. I will always be there for you."
"Thank you. I'm grateful to have you.", Jay said and smiled for the first time that week.
CPDCPDCDP
Hailey was released from the hospital the next morning. She quickly said goodbye to Jay and left. Will told her to stay at home for the week and then at least two weeks of desk duty. Before walking out of the hospital she didn't even know what to do now. She was about to call a cab when she saw Trudy Platt standing outside.
"Miss Upton, please follow me to the car.", Trudy joked and hugged her.
"Hi Sargent. Thank you for picking me up."
"You're welcome. You want me to drive you home or back to the station?"
"I think I'm gonna go home for now."
"Okay. Get in.", Trudy started the car and drove.
"You know that is not where I live, right?", Hailey said after Trudy drove in the wrong direction.
"Yeah I know that.", she just smiled.
"Okay. Then I guess I'm not going home now."
"Nope."
Moments later Trudy pulled up by the police station.
"Really?", Hailey asked.
"Just get inside."
Hailey opened the door and was surprised by a big 'Welcome back' banner and the whole district and fire department standing there cheering at her.
"Oh my God, guys! Thank you!", she said and Vanessa came up to her hugging her. Adam did so too.
"Great you're back!", Atwater hugged her.
"I was only gone for a week.", Hailey said. She was happy to get such a nice welcome but in her mind was just one person: Jay. He was still at the hospital and Will said he might have to stay another week. Jay hated it so much. He was already devastated the previous day after waking up.
"Thank you all for this!", Hailey started. "Ehm… I'd just really like to get home right now. Sorry for breaking up this party before it even started…"
"It's alright! Let's get you home.", Trudy said.
In the car Hailey apologised a couple more times to Trudy. "I'm sorry. I just want to be at home now."
"It's alright. You don't have to apologise so often. I get it. How is Jay?"
"Better, I think."
"And what about you?"
"I'm good."
"I mean what's with you and Jay?"
"What?"
"I know you are in love with each other and I really hope you finally told him!"
"Oh God. Yes I did tell him. Back in the collapsed warehouse… I told him yesterday that we definitely need to talk about this once he is better. I don't know if he is up for a relationship or anything. I think he just needs to heal and be back to normal before I can get through to him…"
"I understand that. I really hope it works out with you two. Seeing how you look at each other…", Trudy stared out of the windshield lost in thought.
Hailey just smiled. "Yeah. It would be nice if it works out. We'll see."
Hailey got out and went home.
CPDCPDCPD
"Good morning, Jay.", Will entered his room.
"Good morning."
"How are we feeling today?", Will asked and looked at all his brothers stats.
"Perfect. Can I go home now?"
"Jay…"
"What? It's been a week already! I'm bored and I want to go home!"
"A week since you woke up… Jay I can't let you go home. Look, with that arm you'd need help and I have a 48 hours shift now. I can't take you with me. It's better that you stay here for the rest of the week."
"But it's only Tuesday! I can take care of myself."
"No."
"Then call Hailey."
"Doesn't she have to work again?"
"Maybe. But she can help me. And I'm not a little kid. I can stay home alone for a couple of hours. Look, Will, I'm alright. Please I need to get out of this hospital or I'm going to kill myself in here."
"Stop joking around! This is not funny."
"Come on, you're the same! I heard that after the car accident a while ago you didn't even let them check you out."
"That's different. I'm a doctor. You just go home and do some stupid stuff and one week later I have you laying here again."
"No! I don't wanna be here any minute longer."
"Okay. Look, I'm gonna send someone to check on you later and if everything is alright I'm gonna call Hailey to pick you up. With one condition: if anything happens with your arm, if you feel numbness or any slight pain, you call or come here immediately!"
"Alright. Deal.", Jay said.
CPDCPDCPD
Later that day Hailey stood in front of Jay's hospital room and felt a sense of déjà vu. Only three months ago she picked up Jay from there. He was shot in the chest and now it was the arm. She looked inside through the glass door. Jay was sitting on the bed with his arm in a sling. He tried to get his shoes on but tying shoes with one hand looked impossible.
She walked inside. "Hi. You want me to help you?", she asked.
"Yeah please.", he answered.
Hailey knew that everyone else would get yelled at by him saying he could do it himself. She quickly tied his shoes and he got up.
"Thanks."
"Let's get home.", she said.
Both walked out and after signing some last papers Jay was finally able to go home. He jumped into Hailey's car and she drove away.
"Why are we stopping at your house?", Jay asked as Hailey parked her car.
"Well I'm with Will. I'm not letting you alone. Plus we need to talk, remember. You're living with me until you're better. I have a spare room.", Hailey said.
"You're forcing it too much. I'm okay. I can take care of myself. Nobody ever needs to listen to my brother when it comes to me.", Jay said. He was annoyed that he couldn't get to his own home.
"Okay, listen up. I saw you almost dying twice in only three months and I'm sick of this! I need to know that you're safe! I can't live with the constant fear of losing you as soon as you step outside. I know you want to be all tough right now but you are injured, you need help and most importantly you need to talk to a therapist. I'm not letting you go through this all on your own. If you have a problem with this tell me now and I'm gone and I will get myself another partner to work with.", Hailey said.
Jay took a deep breath. "You're right. I talked to Dr. Charles a bit. He scheduled appointments with me twice a week. And I don't want to be alone. To be honest… the explosion and the coma thing and that I somehow felt and heard everything, that… it brought back memories I never wanted to remember again… I remembered everything from Afghanistan… I talked to Dr. Charles about this… I hid it from Will and the other doctors but I think Will still knew what was going on…"
"Come on. Let's get inside. Want something special for dinner? I could order Asian or Greek.", Hailey said.
"I'm not really hungry."
"Okay. I'll order pizza then."
Hailey and Jay walked inside the house. Jay smiled at her pizza comment and somehow he was happy to be there with her. They went through a lot lately. It was nice to just be at home and chill.
They spent the evening on the couch eating pizza and watching Netflix. Both fell asleep in each other's arms that night.
In the morning Hailey woke up still in Jay's arm. Her head rested on his chest. It was so quiet in the house that she heard his heart beating. The chest slowly moved up and down as he breathed. She felt so happy in that moment. All she ever wanted was this. She had a great time with Adam too but this felt different. It felt better. It felt right.
"Good morning, Hailey.", he said. She didn't even notice he was already awake.
"Good morning.", she slowly sat upright. "I hope you had a good night sleep and it wasn't too uncomfortable."
"No, it was perfect."
Hailey cleaned the living room. There were still pizza boxes and empty glasses all over the table from last night. Even Netflix was still on and showing the 'Hey are you still here' screen. She switched it off. Jay was in the bathroom getting changed.
She wanted to make breakfast but realized she didn't know what he ate in the mornings. She decided to just make coffee and wait for him to come back to the kitchen.
After half an hour he was still not back and Hailey decided to check on him. She knocked on the bathroom door. "Jay?"
"Yeah, I'll be out in a moment.", he answered.
Jay looked in the mirror. His cuts were healed, only pinkish new skin showed that there was an injury. His arm hurt a lot but he ignored it. He didn't want to go back to the hospital just a day after finally getting home.
Yes, home.
He accepted that he needed help and he was happy that Hailey was there for him. He walked back to the kitchen. "Sorry Hailey. Getting dressed with this arm is not that simple."
"Yeah, just wanted to make sure everything was alright.", she smiled at him.
"Sure. We should probably get to my house and get me some clothes if I'm to stay here longer."
"Yes, we need to do that. First do you want anything for breakfast?"
"No, just coffee please."
Hailey poured some fresh coffee in a mug and gave it to him.
Hailey and Jay drove to his house. He entered and was shocked to see how he had left it the morning of the stakeout.
"Oh… sorry. I didn't have time to clean up…", he said slightly embarrassed. Dried up coffee mugs were standing on the table, two empty beer bottles were next to it. A couple dirty plates were there too. His nightgown along with used underwear were hanging over a chair.
"I'm so sorry you have to see this. I'm usually not that dirty… That case…", Jay started but Hailey stopped him.
"It's alright. Go get clothes and I'm gonna clean up a little bit."
"Thanks.", he walked back to his bedroom. Hailey stayed in the open living room / kitchen area. She put away the empty bottles, put the dirty dishes into the dishwasher and switched it on. She put the dirty clothes in the washing machine in the bathroom. She was impressed by how fast she knew where everything was in his little apartment.
She had only been there once before but she loved it.
A while later he got everything he needed and both left for her house again.
to be continued...