CHAPITRE 1 - Bittersweet

Her hands were shaking.

Behind the doors of the cathedral were gathered all the nobility of the kingdom and neighboring countries. Kings and queens who had respected her grandfather and had come to honor his memory by welcoming her in their ranks. Anna was not stupid, she knew that they were mostly there to ensure that old agreements would be respected. Maybe also to make new deals, more advantageous for them, with a young and inexperienced queen. She was going to have to prove herself quickly. For Arendelle.

Under the gloves, the signet ring of king Runeard – bless his soul – formed a funny shape around her thumb, only place she could slip it without losing it immediately. Later she should have it adjusted but she wanted to keep a trace of her grandfather a little longer. No doubt she was weak to do so but there had always been this softness in her when it came to her family. The tiara that she should wear in her daily life would be the same as her mother's but with the precious gems adorning the paternal crown.

From Elsa, she had nothing. Even if she was pained to know that she wouldn't be here for her big moment, it wasn't a childish revenge. She didn't want to mix the dead and the living, as if out of fear of casting a curse on her sister. Anna didn't want to lose anyone else.

"Her royal highness, princess Anna of Arendelle."

The doors opened, a heavy silence reigning between the holy walls. It was as if nobody dared to breathe. In response, Anna's pulse quickened.

Her step carried her to the altar but she didn't feel the ground under her feet. She felt overwhelmed. Only the habit, built in her muscles since childhood, pushed her foward. Kept her head high and her posture regal. She could do it. She had no choice. It was one of those moments where it was fight of flight and Anna had never backed down from an obstacle. The little voice deep inside her tried to express something but she was quickly shoved aside by her pride.

She forced herself to breathe. To bulge her torso as she had seen her grandfather do so often. She had to make him proud.

Three more steps and she would face her destiny.

The corner of her eye found a void in the first row where the royal family should have been. She may have prepared herself for it, it hurt anyway. Just a flash of silvery blond hair would have been reassuring.

She forced herself to swallow the feeling. She was no longer a child.

The middle of the night. A moment that Anna knew little about. She had always been an early bird, always ready to enjoy the sun, to be a part of the natural cycle. After dark, sleep came easily to her. Even after the death of her parents insomnia had remained foreign for her. Diving into a world where they still existed and where she didn't have to think was too tempting. Rehashing just wasn't in her character.

Yet, she struggled to fall asleep. Some strange buzz waved her body, making her restless. The day had been too loaded and her feelings were all over the place. The fatigue stayed, there was the most frustrating. She only wanted to sleep, recharge her batteries while she still could. Tomorrow would be another long day.

But the moon was rising, always higher, and her bad mood followed the ascent.

An incomprehensible grumbling escaped from her lips. She had to move. Maybe wandering around would help. Chocolate was also a good option. It was not very royal of her but she couldn't change in a day. Apart from a few guards, she was not likely to meet many people at this hour. They were lucky to sleep.

She slipped out of her room silently, a quilt draped over her shoulders. The fire would likely still burn in the kitchen and she didn't planned to linger in the hallways.

Walking quietly throught the palace was easy when she knew each shortcut and secret passage. She even took care to avoid the sentries, not in the mood for even a few words.

"Weird..."

The kitchen door was ajar, some oil lamps projecting a warm light on the stone walls. In the hearth, the fire cracked vigorously but the temperature seemed to drop ten degrees upon her arrival.

Exactly when she spotted someone perched on a counter. Her presence had also been noticed, the rattling of cutlery abruptly stopping.

If Anna had something in her hands it would have crashed on the ground. She didn't have as much control as the woman who gently placed the plate by her side.

"El-"

"Your Majesty." Elsa had cut her quickly, coming down from her perch and arranging her outfit, clearly embarrassed.

Anna had already seen this eagerness. This way of behaving, as if taken in a compromising position. The servants often acted like that with her grandfather. She should get used to them doing it with her. But we were talking about her sister. Her elder. The attitude revolted her.

Yet, too shocked, she says nothing.

She was petrified in the middle of the kitchen. It was like a ghost suddenly appeared before her eyes. No doubt she would have reacted better in front of a phantom.

After so many years. Coming across Elsa like that was too startling.

"Elsa..."

Just a whisper. She pinched her arm to reassure herself that she was not dreaming. Good. It hurt. She had often dreamed of this instant. The reality of the reunion put at shame by her imagination. Her arms should have been around her sister's shoulders. And where were the tears of happiness ?

"You're different." Anna felt silly. Why couldn't she find the words ? She ran a nervous hand through her hair. Please, say something clever. "Silly me. Obviously you're different, it's been-"

"Thirteen years."

At least, Anna hadn't been the only one to count the years. Did that mean that Elsa cared ? The five years old in her fussed just at the thought.

Elsa. Elsa was here. In front of her. Alive and older. Reality caught up with the queen and she rushed to her sister, arms outstretched to embrace her.

"Elsa, I missed you so much."

She should have expected it. Time changed people and she was just a glorified stranger to Elsa. See her move away, uncomfortable, panicked even, was another blow that she took directly in the heart.

"Please don't come near."

Elsa's arm was lifted as a protection but she hastened to wring her hands, her face almost ashamed.

Anna wondered for a moment if it was really her sister. A stupid thought but she was too different. Just a stranger wearing a familiar shell. But her eyes weren't lying. She would have recognized that eyes anywhere, it doesn't matter if they're drowned by emotions she had never seen in Elsa.

"What happened to you..."

Regrets tasted bitter on her tongue.