Hallo everyone, welcome back!

I've told you before to ask questions if things were unclear or anything in this story and I got lots of PM's on ffnet. I'm really glad that you do that, especially since things will heat up a bit and get more intense in future chapters and for some of you maybe even weird and creepy, so I really appreciate it that you give me the opportunity to explain. It's not that I want to educate, I just don't want to be the source of misconceptions or something.

Anyway, I thought some of the questions might be interesting for all of you, so I start this chapter off with a Q&A:

GENERAL:

1. Why does Zoro refer to gods and Robin to god?

In SBS Oda Said if they were real life people Zoro would be Japanese and Robin Russian, so I pictured Zoro's religious background to be some amalgam between Shintoism and Buddhism and Robin's to be Russian orthodox. Not saying they are particularly religious but there are an awful lot of expressions so I just adapted them.

2. I actually can't believe that this is of any interest, but since I've been asked twice and I've seen it mentioned in other fics…

I can't tell you what songs I listen to for each specific chapter, but if you're unhappy with the tone of the sexy stuff you go and take it up with Marilyn Manson, Rammstein, Seether and Korn ;-p

3. What will you do when you run out of letters for Zoro's chapters?

Good question, in my doc with chapters and ideas i've already reached T… Maybe I get to a satisfactory end by then, maybe I'll just use small letters? I don't know.

KINKY STUFF:

1. How can Zoro be this experienced if he's so young?

If you've been hoping to finally get a definite answer to this one I have to disappoint you. So far I wrote lots of glimpses to Robin's past experiences so I think it's plenty fair to do the same for Zoro, so be patient and vigilant.

2. Do you know what you're talking about or is this just fantasy?

To some extent I do know what I'm talking about. I'd think it irresponsible to write without experience, but pretty please to all my Dominant readers, don't hesitate to call me out on bullshit… male readers in general, really, I have no idea what's going on in your bodies

3. "I'm new to all this, could you give us a BDSM 101 after the chapters?" and because it goes in the same direction: "It doesn't sound really nice when you say he's playing with her, is that a BDSM thing?"

I have been thinking about this, but figured it would probably be too much to put in a note. I will address safety issues but for details there's tons of material online to read up on, or you ask me directly. And yes, that's a BDSM thing, think about it as playing a match of tennis or chess or something

4. What the fuck happened to that rope? Where is it, have you forgotten?

Good news for you rope enthusiasts, chapter 14 is for you and already done.

5. This one is really important to me, because quite frankly I was shocked when I got that question.

Yes, you are entitled to vanilla time, even if you're in a BDSM relationship and you are definitely entitled to aftercare! Both of you. No, you don't have to go 24/7, if you don't want to and even if you do, you decide what is okay and what isn't, together.

That out of the way, please continue to ask, don't hesitate to speak up. I never intended for this piece to be educational and I'm certainly not saying that my way is the only way, but again I think it would be irresponsible to just write this as I seem fit without addressing certain things or giving the opportunity to ask questions.

Last time Zoro Had some doubts about their relationship, if that's what you want to call it, it came to him between her legs of all things. Now we'll see Robin's thoughts on the matter, let's just hope she doesn't overreact to him not being in the mood…

She wasn't quite sure what was wrong with him, but she certainly could make an educated guess.

Since the last time they'd been together, he hadn't been his usual grumpy self, instead he seemed… vulnerable, or as vulnerable as a man like him could look. It was probably her fault. Her lack of commitment. She had warned him, hadn't she? Had told him that she could not let herself get emotionally involved. And yet it seemed that he had not heeded her advice. She loved him dearly, as much as she could, and seeing him suffer because of her broke her heart. She had tried to be there for him the last time, had felt deep down that his lack of enthusiasm had been because of her and tried to right this wrong. Apparently without much success. It wasn't that she was unfeeling per se, she just lacked the depth most of her crewmates seemed to reach.

She did love them. She would be devastated if anything were to happen to any of them. She would die for them. What she wouldn't do for them was tap into that well of feeling every child opened for their parents, that she had naively opened for Saul. She knew that the others were stronger because of their unconditional love for each other, but she just couldn't; not for them, and least of all for him. Because if she did, she would fall, tumble down the rabbit hole and never again be able to get out. When Saul had died protecting her, it had nearly destroyed her. If she allowed herself to feel for Zoro like she'd undoubtedly do… if he died, there would be no coming back. It would rip her to pieces, and she couldn't allow that to happen. Their captain couldn't lose two crew members at once, because the boy openly tapped that deep, deep well of emotions.

She had no doubts whatsoever that if one of her family were to die, it would be Zoro. Not by accident, but by choice. He had proven that on Thriller Bark, and she could not allow herself to love such a dedicated, selfless, and honourable man with all she had.

She should let him go. Their last encounter had shown that their arrangement was not as fulfilling for him as it was for her. She shouldn't string him along on the vague hope that maybe someday she would be confident enough to love him in the way he deserved. How could she have the audacity to be jealous of Emilia? She had no right whatsoever, had she? Demanding to be the only one for him while she herself refused to commit to him...

It wouldn't be long before he would tire of her, which kind of was what she wanted, wasn't it? It wasn't. The thought alone hurt enough to reassure her that actually falling for that man that made her feel so safe, so right, could not end well for her.

The way he had clung to her in the crow's nest… her thighs still slick from earlier excitement, uncomfortably drying in the cold air… she doubted she'd ever felt more content in her life. More wanted. More treasured. He didn't deserve that, being treated as a cuddly blanket whenever she felt like it, but she was selfish. Found herself up the crow's nest more often than not, with no books to keep her entertained. Just watching him work out, just basking in his presence, like a cat trying to catch the last rays of sun on a winter afternoon before the cold of the night seeped in through the cracks in the walls. The last of his warmth before he'd rightfully throw her out for playing with his heart. Trampling over it, more likely.

God, how could she do that to him, how could she be this selfish? That sweet man who had just interrupted his afternoon nap to appease the terror Brook's latest horror story had evoked in their resident doctor. Instead of grumpily turning the boy away as any outsider would expect, he let him crawl on his lap to explain to him that there surely were no monsters horrible enough that he couldn't cut them. Dear lord how utterly adorable. It made her stomach drop in the most unpleasant way.

How could she take advantage of such big a heart? She wasn't quite depraved enough to blame her past, where she had only survived by being egotistical. No one but herself was to blame for this.

He looked up, still scratching Chopper between antler and ear, his one eye meeting hers instantly. It wasn't the first time he'd caught her staring the last few days either, and like all the other times, she blushed under his grin while her throat clogged with guilt.

She loved that bright smile of his; for all his grumpiness and sinistry, when he smiled, he looked almost as innocent as Luffy. It hurt her, too. Made her realise how truly vile she really was. Like now, instead of leaving towards the library as she had intended before stumbling upon the scene, she sat her half eaten can of salted cashews on the railing and went down to sit at his side. Cat again. Basking again; in his warmth, his safety, his love probably. God, what a disgusting creature she was.

"Woman?"

She startled awake, her head jerking from his shoulder. Had someone seen them like this? Hopefully not. It was bad enough that she'd have to explain the coming end of their relationship to Nami, but she really didn't want to explain it to the rest of them. Maybe she should talk with Nami about it. No, the navigator would probably just blame Zoro…

"Are you alright?" he asked, and the concern made her stomach clench again.

She smiled even though she knew he'd see the fakeness of it. "I just dozed off, I'm sorry if I worried you."

He scoffed in response. "Bullshit, you've been acting weird since last time. I know that you had hoped for something different and I'm not going to apologize for it, but it's definitely not your fault that I wasn't in the mood."

She was a monster. He was worried for her wellbeing while she, in full consciousness, chose to parasitise him.

"I'll make it up to you next time," he added with that sharkish grin of his that made her knees week, her cheeks red and lips wet.

"You shouldn't. No matter what you say, it is my fault. I know you want more than what I can give you… I… this was a mistake, Kenshi-san," she declared, and even though she could feel her eyes water at the prospect of actually losing him then and there, it did lift a weight from her chest that had beared down on it for days.

He cursed under his breath, one hand gripping his hair before dragging it down his face with another curse. He turned to look at her, and it knocked the wind right out of her lungs. She'd sat down on his bad side; had she done so to avoid looking at him? Probably, because she almost crumbled under that grey stare of his. The regret she saw. Dear lord, this really was the end, and it put a whole other weight on her chest. He took a deep breath and so did she, steeling herself against the words that would undoubtedly follow.

"You're right, Robin, we're at different places in this-" God, this was the end. "- and I'm sorry I… fuck, I don't know what got into me that night. I knew from the start it would be like this. It's exactly what I signed up for, so don't you dare seek the fault in yourself, woman."

So this wasn't the end? He took her face in his rough hands, brushed her tears away, and placed those chapped lips on her forehead again. She loved it when he did that. No matter how rough his hands were, how chapped his lips, the gesture soothed her every ailment.

"Not sure if you noticed, but I don't have short term goals, woman. I will wait 'til you're ready," he told her with a determination that made her almost believe him. Made her want to believe him. Made her smile, made her breathe.

He got up, one of his hands trailing through her hair almost tenderly. God, she didn't deserve that man, but if he didn't mind waiting for years, possibly… who was she to complain?

"I'm on watch tonight," he stated. An utterly redundant piece of information. He was on watch almost every night, but she knew the meaning behind his words. Join me. Come and bask in my proximity. Come and allow yourself to fall for me.

Maybe. She contemplated them, every single one of his unvoiced propositions as she watched him climb up the rigging.

A match hissed to light behind her. "Well fuck me, the buffoon actually has a way with words."

She knew the rivalry between the two of them was mostly for show, but the astonishment in the chef's voice was real. About the unsuspected eloquence, not the apparent relationship between them. For how long had he known? She would have expected him to be quite vocal and violent upon finding out, but as he leaned against the railing, one hand in his pocket, the other on his cigarette, he did seem at peace with the situation. He must have known for weeks!

"He has many hidden talents," she smiled at him, trying her best to hide her earlier tears.

The corners of his mouth dropped, and he answered with an indignant huff, "yeah, I'd prefer to be left in blissful ignorance about those, if you don't mind."

"What can I do for you, Sanji-kun," she asked, seeing something akin to nervousness in his behaviour, more than the possible information about Zoro's sexual prowess allowed. Usually, the cigarette would just more or less comfortably lie between his lips after a few inhales, but he was already halfway through.

"You know I love you, Robin, so don't take this the wrong way. The damn mosshead is loyal to a fault, and he will wait for you indefinitely…," he trailed off for another deep inhale of smoke, tapped the toe of his boot against the planks. He was obviously nervous and probably dreaded his next words just as much as she did.

"Please go on, Sanji-kun"

He flicked the butt in the sea, stalling.

"If you can't find it in your heart to love him, don't use him. Break it off. He will sulk and hurt, and probably follow that damn blade's whims again for a while, but he will come back the same he was before. He doesn't look it, but under all that brawn, he's a softie. Have you seen the guy with kids? It's almost ridiculous... What I'm trying to say is, don't destroy him."

By the way the cook looked at her, it must have almost destroyed him to say those things, but he was right. It was a truth she knew deep down whenever she was alone, a truth that was pushed back into the far end of her consciousness whenever her grumpy swordsman was near.

High above her, she could see the light in the crow's nest. She should go up and end it.

She didn't want to, dear god she really didn't, but Sanji was right.

"Don't jump to conclusions, Robin, I'm not done. If all you need is time to accept that you do need him, that this thing between you is more than nakamaship and … sex… then spare the two of you the heartbreak and go up there to commit to that damn lucky bastard."

"I'm afraid it's not that simple, Sanji-kun."

It really wasn't. He lit another cigarette, god this really was eating away at him. How had she not realised that the chef was this worried about them, him? They had fought more than usually lately, hadn't they? This thing was breaking the crew apart. Oh, how would Chopper feel? During their bath all those weeks ago, she'd been so confident, the boy had seemed to like the idea of them together, would he be disappointed?

"Well what is it you're worried about? That he'll break your heart? No offense, but as it stands now, it'll more likely be the other way round," he said, and she could hear the irritation in his voice.

She chuckled, tried to ease the tension with a bit of humour, "and here I thought you'd be on my side, cook-san."

It didn't work. His gaze turned dark within the second, a look he hadn't even bestowed on her all those years ago when she'd still been an enemy.

"I am, Robin, trust me. If that Neanderthal leaves so much as a bruise on your delicate body, I'll filet him alive with a spoon, but right now, you don't seem to be the one needing protection," he said in a tone much softer than the sinister look had made her expect. It wasn't the right situation for thoughts like that, and still she blushed at the mention of bruises. Hopefully the cook would never find out that she wished for far more than just bruises to adorn her body. Wasn't that commitment in a way? Carrying his mark? Could it be a middle ground? A promise that she'd come around in the future?

She smiled, happy almost. "Thank you, Sanji-kun, you helped me a lot," she told him truthfully. And just like that, every ounce of seriousness disappeared from him as he pirouetted towards the galley, singing words of gratitude towards his sweet, sweet mellorine.

Oh what could she possibly want to do now? Find out next week(!) And drop me a kudos or comment to let me know what you think.

If you can't wait for next week to read more about our favourite swordsman I urge you to check out Rexicas amazing disinhibition, things are getting hot over there… not trying to guilt trip you or anything, but you owe her big time for putting up with my utterly random punctuation ^^