Hallo, everyone, welcome back!
Been a while, hasn't it. I do advise you to appreciate this fun little chapter, there's drama up ahead.
As always huge thank you to Rexica for beta reading this chapter.
Also a huge thank you to Ghost for the review, that day has been shit and you literally made my day! If I get to writing another threesome rest assured it won't be with any of the crew.
Last time, Zoro showed Hiyori and Robin their place, mainly on their knees... In case you haven't read Usopp's dilemma, let me get you caught up: Usopp saw Zoro with Hiyori and that caused him to fret over the situation for weeks now the situation is out in the open and we continue with our usual Strawhat madness. I mean, have you ever wondered how they get money with how little actual pirating they do?
Gods, he hated these meetings. No, he dreaded them. Nothing good ever came from the witch gathering all of them together. They met in the library, which usually meant a strategic meeting and not one of the intervention meetings where someone could potentially smash the place. Those were held in the kitchen in hopes that even the most aggravated pirate would remember that it was a very very important, holy place for all of them. Glancing at Usopp, he snorted a laugh. Poor bastard still couldn't really look him in the eye. He would have thought that it would trouble Robin more that their secret with Hiyori wasn't all that secret, that the crew knew they were probably a tad more adventurous than most, but no… and he really should have known better. It had taken Robin a week to deduce that Usopp probably had seen something he shouldn't have and immediately held him back with a haki-clad arm and amusement in her eyes when he attempted to clear things up. There were relatively calm seas ahead; wouldn't it be infinitely more interesting if they had Usopp's suffering to watch? Of course, his genius woman had been right, from hushed discussions with Brook that left the sharpshooter disturbed more often than not to exchanged glances with their shipwright… Yes, it had been amusing. It just didn't sit well with him that they had dragged Chopper into it. Or that Chopper had known in general. What the fuck did she talk with the kid about? He really had no business knowing things like that. According to Robin, Chopper had slunked up to them right after knocking Luffy unconscious to profusely apologize for not keeping their secret, and he had to console him for the better part of an hour after overcoming his initial shock that he had even known.
Fun as it had been, it didn't help him in this situation. This was obviously one of those meetings that usually were only attended by Nami, Robin, Sanji and Chopper, who would then tell the crew what to do. This was something else.
He sought his woman's gaze, but all he got from her was a soft smile even though the amusement in her eyes told him loud and clear that she knew exactly what was going on.
Damn woman had been so worried about their age gap, should have just eaten more. Ever since Sanji came back, he'd been spoiling his lovely ladies rotten, and while she still had a body others would murder for, the tiny creases around her eyes were mostly gone now.
The door slammed shut behind the navigator. "Great to see you're all here," she said with more happiness than was probably due for the situation as she stormed to the table. Not that he actually knew the situation… None of them did if the blank stares and questioning looks were anything to go by.
"So," she started, leaning over the table, and any open chattering mouths were shut in an instant. "Wano really put a dent in our savings."
Fuck. They were fucked. Utterly and thoroughly fucked.
"It's nobody's fault, I'm sure. Going undercover does need some investment. It was inevitable," she continued, and he allowed himself to relax a bit, just as her brown gaze pierced right through him, freezing him mid-breath. "Although, I'm sure a certain undercover geisha could have done with a tad less expensive decór… and less frequent visits from her danna," she added through gritted teeth.
Correction, he was fucked. Utterly and thoroughly fucked.
Her focus shifted, this time to their nose picking captain, and after overcoming her initial disgust at just how excessive a nosepicking could get if you were out of rubber, she slammed a fist on the table. "Pay attention, Rubberbrain! It's your fault we're not proper, pillaging pirates!"
But he only laughed at her with a huge grin and an almost equally large booger on his pinky. Damn rubber bastard was only this happy because the witch couldn't fucking electrocute him.
"Anyway. We need to make more money. Franky, your household gadgets sell like a charm, the heavy weight training line is doing reasonably good as well. Brook, you're still plenty in the plus with your royalties. Usopp, your bras still sell great, and I do have to compliment the idea of employing the Tontatta for the sewing. With that outsourced, your chores around here don't have to suffer," she praised, and he could see the sharpshooter's chest puff out and the tension leave his shoulders.
"Dr. Chopper's is still produced on Fishman island, which is great because it's relatively safe there. But I really think you should reconsider the diet segment. There are huge amounts of beris there."
Again? Did she honestly think she could get Chopper to exploit people like that?
"Dr. Chopper's is bad enough, Nami. It's really just electrolytes and stuff. You know I wouldn't be comfortable taking money for something that doesn't work," the reindeer said, and Nami sighed.
"But that's the whole point of the industry, Chopper. You sell gullible and desperate people a product that doesn't work but is cheap to produce... god damn it, you guys and your conscience. You really suck at this pirate thing," she grumbled, and their doctor's eyes started to well up.
"Not true. We're plenty piraty, right, Chopper?" Luffy asked and ruffled the doctor's cap, which instantly cheered up the deflated kid-pirate.
Nami didn't linger with them too long, by now she knew a battle lost.
"Well, Sanji-kun, I'm quite happy with the 'Curly Nutrition'," she declared, ignoring the cook's grumbling at his brand's name and the dirty looks he shot his way for coming up with it. "Although producing them in Big Mom's territory is risky, you should keep working on that cookbook of yours."
"Oh of course, my sweet Nami-swan," the shitcook sung, all heart eyed like a complete fucking idiot. He scoffed at the sight but nearly choked on it when the weather witch's eyes stopped at him again.
"Now, everyone is pulling their weight around here but you, mossbrain. You spent the most money in Wano, and you're not earning shit. So either get two coherent sentences for a workout guide together, or I'll be selling your nudes to some magazine for desperate housewives!" she snarled.
Fuck, it wasn't exactly like his workout was safe for normal people, was it? Felt the heat in his cheeks even before he heard Luffy cackling next to him, but Nami wouldn't have any of that, smacked the rubber boy over the head with an expertly thrown paperweight.
"You're not making any money either, shithead. Now that I think of it, I'll let you pose together and make this a boys' love thing. With the amount of fangirls that should sell nicely... Damn, I think the only thing that would sell better would be Mosshead and Sanji, but... we want to make money and not spend twice of our earnings on repairs, because you two dickheads can't keep yourselves in check," she lamented while Shitcook swooned he'd do anything for sweet Nami-swan, since the implications had no doubt gone way over his head just because the witch had given him attention. The rest awkwardly chuckled, not sure if he'd slice them up for laughing at that. The idea of him and Luffy posing together... Fucking idiots, joke was on Nami, because he'd bet his balls that their captain had absolutely no fucking idea what she was talking about.
"Yosh, Zoro, let's make Nakama pictures!"
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See you next week!