Chapter 5

Trigger Warning: Bullying, Suicidal Thoughts, Mentions of Violence, Depression

Jack had to keep his leg from bouncing like crazy and he suddenly wished he still had his yo-yo that always helped him with his anxiety. It was so stupid; he'd been to countless counselors and he knew Elsa, so why was this pre-marital session making him jumpy?

Rapunzel seemed to be feeling some sort of anxiety as well, her emerald eyes would flit from patterns on the wall to magazine covers on the table and then towards the hallways that led to Elsa's office.

He instinctively reached out to hold her hand and caught her eye with a smile. She smiled softly back at him, both forgetting for a moment where they were and grounding each other.

"Well hello you two!"

They turned to see the ivory haired woman looking as graceful as a queen gliding their way. Her arms were outstretched as she hugged first Rapunzel and then Jack.

He recalled Elsa being exceptionally beautiful but after so many years, she looked simply radiant.

"Come on back." She said in her soothing voice and both followed her back to her office. Jack had never been inside before so immediately his eyes caught the glass figurines on a shelf and he couldn't keep from walking over to see them.

"You got some new ones." Rapunzel said, following him.

"Mhm. Kristoff is still in the business." Elsa smiled and pointed to a rather large glass horse that appeared to be running on waves and a little lizard with etched-in spots, "And still afraid to propose to my sister." She mumbled with a chortle.

She then motioned to the couch where both made their way over and sat nervously next to each other, their knees bumping accidentally.

She sat down, making sure to smooth the ivory pencil skirt dress, "So, when's the big day?"

They both gave one another a look that told her everything she needed to know; they were still in the beginning stages of the whole wedding planning thing.

"We're still…" Rapunzel admitted with a blush to her cheeks, "Deciding that."

"No rush." Elsa smiled knowingly, "I'm glad you both wanted to come in. Many take this part of the process for granted which is why most pastors or officiants make it mandatory."

"It's not, like, bad if we don't do this though, right?" Jack asked her.

"No, it's completely optional, but this is a big step in your life and getting married isn't just about a wedding, but the marriage itself."

Rapunzel nodded and Jack felt odd for a moment. It wasn't new for them to confess their feelings about one another, but for some reason, things felt different than usual.

"So, I always start this with a simple question," Elsa smiled reassuringly, "and let's start with Rapunzel. Why do you want to marry Jack?"

"Wow, just right out of the gate, huh?" Jack chuckled.

Rapunzel couldn't help but snort and took a breath, "Well, there's a million reasons honestly but, the biggest one is that I always feel safest when I'm with Jack. And if I'm ever sad, he always cheers me up and makes me feel better. When he asked me to marry him, I had no doubts at all."

She smiled up at him and he took that moment to wrap his arm around her and give her his award-winning grin.

"Now Jack, same question." Elsa nodded to him.

He took a moment to look at the love of his life and couldn't seem to figure out how to word what he needed to say. He was a man who never thought too hard about what he would say to people, be it funny or serious. But when it came to Rapunzel, he always felt tongue tied.

"Man, this is hard." He admitted, "Like, I feel like I could whip out a Shakespearean volume just to name every reason."

"Take your time." Elsa giggled.

He sighed softly and allowed himself to just relax as he thought about it, "Rapunzel's always been…just…she's the one. I can't even explain it, the feelings I have for her, she just makes me want to be better and…okay I officially suck at this." He admitted with a slight blush to his cheek.

He felt Rapunzel's hand wrap around his arm, and she leaned into him with a smile.

"It is hard to always know what to say." Elsa admitted, "And both of you come from quite a background filled with heartache and loss. To be able to come together and feel the way you do, it's nothing short of a beautiful miracle."

"Actually…" Rapunzel admitted shyly, "That's kind of a big reason why I wanted to come. I'm just really scared that all of those nightmares and bad memories will sneak up on us and…"

She looked nervously at Jack who seemed to know what she was getting at. He sighed, "Rapunzel, I already told you, it was nothing and I'm fine."

"Jack, please, you and I both know that- "

"Whoa! Let's rewind for a second." Elsa chuckled, "Something tells me there's more to this visit."

Jack sighed and rubbed his forehead tiredly, "It's really nothing but I did scare Rapunzel a few nights ago when I had a pretty bad night terror."

"When you say, 'pretty bad', how bad are we talking?" Elsa asked with a raised eyebrow at them.

Rapunzel cut in, "We both get them, a lot, but mostly it's just a cry followed by some tears or a hard time breathing but we always talk about them and can get back to sleep pretty easily. This one was…Jack was different."

"How so?"

Jack shrugged and allowed his fiancé to explain it, "He screamed, like, really screamed and shot out of bed and then just stood there staring at me in terror before he brushed me off and went to wash his face. He hasn't told me about it at all."

Elsa noticed Jack turning pale and his eyes boring holes into the carpet. This was definitely a problem for both of them and knew she'd need to explore this further than just this one visit could entail.

"Can I ask you something real fast Jack," she said calmly and waited for him to look up at her, "Whatever happened in that dream, is it something you've never really opened up about before?"

She saw a flicker of nervousness before he shrugged and looked away, "I open up about everything, not hard to get an answer out of me."

She narrowed her eyes, getting her answer before looking to Rapunzel, "Are there things you haven't opened up about yourself Rapunzel?"

"Well…I'm sure there are, but some of them are things I haven't really thought about much or really want to expose, you know." She shrugged, "And I'm not asking you to tell me everything Jack, I just…I want to help you because I know you'd do the same for me."

She had a point and he smiled at her, "I know that, but I really don't want you concerned about this. It was just a crazy dream and nothing more, okay?"

"May I make a suggestion?" Elsa said, "Apart from your pre-marital sessions, I don't think it's a bad idea to see me separately too. It seems there are some concerns on both sides and nothing major but, let's try to get those taken care of before we move forward, alright?"

Jack looked like he would rather not do that but agreed as did Rapunzel. Before long they were simply catching up and both left at least feeling lighter than they had when they came.

He held her hand and walked with her to the car. She looked up at him, "I'm sorry Jack, I didn't mean to throw you under the bus like that."

"I know and I understand but," he sighed, "I don't want you worrying about me, I mean it. We both have a lot on our plate and at least now we both have Elsa to help with that, yeah?"

She smiled, "Sounds good, hey, do you want to grab a pizza for dinner?"

"Now you're speaking my language." He teased.

…..

To say his week didn't get any easier after that session was an understatement.

A lot of his clients had cancelled, Rapunzel was coming home from school with more migraines, and now he was getting a call from his father; apparently Vanellope got in trouble at school for fighting with a boy.

It was Friday afternoon and he was glad he had that weekend off so he could focus solely on helping his sister. He went to the school and walked towards the office, vaguely remembering how much time he spent in the place when he got into all sorts of trouble. He wondered if Mr. Black still kept an aura of darkness to dissuade troublemakers. Yes, he decided as he walked in, Mr. Black had not changed a bit. It seemed Elsa would be the only one seeing the softer side of the tall imposing man.

He saw Vanellope sitting in a chair, she was still, her head down, and her eyes distant. She didn't have that bubbled up energy or smugness about having won a battle, which meant this fight had been bad. His sister had a fierce streak and sure she could talk good game, but he knew as well as anyone in their family how sensitive she really was.

He then turned to see his father talking to Mr. Black. Even after all these years, this man still terrified him and instinctually caused him to stand up straighter. They both looked solemn, but calm, nonetheless. He wondered just how much trouble Vanellope was in.

His father smiled at him but it seemed forced, "Thank you for coming Jack, I know it's a lot to ask, but do you think you could watch Vanellope at home for the rest of the day?"

"Yeah, no problem." He said and came closer to them, "What happened?" he asked curiously.

Mr. Black sighed as he looked over at her, a look crossing his features that Jack didn't recognize; was it...heartfelt concern?

"This is unusual, even for Miss Von Schweets." He explained, "She's usually in here for talking out of turn or being too distracted to focus on something, but we've never had an issue of her becoming physically aggressive towards another student."

"Did she say why?" he dared to ask in a rather timid voice. Mr. Black paid no mind to it as he and North shook their heads.

"The boy is an older student in her class and said he'd done nothing wrong and she just attacked him, but I find that hard to believe." Mr. Black said with pursed lips, "But she's refusing to say anything and unless she can tell us why she fought with him, she has to be suspended."

Jack felt his stomach turn; his sister not speaking up to defend herself? Something had happened and whatever it was, he wanted to find out why.

"I'll talk to her and if I hear anything, I'll let you know." He promised.

Both nodded appreciatively and he went over to sit next to his sister who was still lost in her own world of thought. He noticed she didn't have a mark on her which made him glad, but the look in her eyes made him even more concerned for her.

"Hey, why don't we get out of here and grab a bite to eat, yeah?" he asked her calmly.

She nodded weakly and got up to grab her things, not saying a word. She didn't even turn to wave at their father which was another tell tale sign that something was very wrong. She walked behind him the whole way to his car and still refused to speak even after she got in and buckled up.

He started driving and sighed, "So who was it?" he asked.

"Nobody." She answered in disgust.

He was relieved she finally spoke, he felt hopeful then that maybe she'd say more as they continued driving.

"I believe that, but what made him so different than all the rest?" he continued, feeling a pang of disappointment when she once again went silent, "Vanellope, you know you can talk to me; I know a thing or two about bullies and…other things." He shrugged, not sure how to phrase 'childhood trauma'.

She glanced nervously up at him as they made it into town. He was certain she would continue to stay silent until she took a breath and finally spoke up.

"He told me that I should have died the minute my parents gave me up."

"What?!" he nearly shouted, slamming the breaks so hard that he nearly hit a pedestrian crossing the street.

"See, this is why I didn't say anything!" she cried angrily.

He took a breath, "I'm sorry, I know, just…" he huffed and began looking for a parking spot to safely vent to her. When he did, he turned to see she was now visibly crying and shaken, "How long has this been going on?" he asked her in a quieter voice.

"Today was the first time he said something like that to me. Mostly he would just call me annoying or tell me to shut up but…after he said that I…I…"

"You lost control." He nodded understandingly, "Had it been me, I would have lost control too, hell, I have before." He admitted.

She wiped her eyes and he put a hand on her shoulder, "You know what he said was a complete lie, right?"

"I don't care if he thinks I should die," she explained and then looked over at him, "I was just mad because I had been feeling so good lately, like people really loved me and then I remembered so many families just gave me up and now I don't know if North even wants me anymore-"

"Hey, he'd never give you up. And even if that were true, he'd have turned me in long ago because I was a complete ass. So, I think it's safe to say you're stuck with us."

"You already lost a sister; I don't want to be the second one you lose." She admitted pitifully and gave him a soulful look.

He paused and stared at her, not sure what to say. She knew about Emma, but it wasn't always something everyone talked about with her in detail. He had to look away and ended up seeing his distorted reflection on the windshield. That battered little boy stared back blankly, a reminder that everything he'd ever suffered had been for his little sister, to keep her safe, only he'd failed her. He forced himself to look over at his new little sister, a girl who'd lost so much just like he had, who needed him.

"I used to want to die, so much." She sobbed, "Even after North adopted me because I knew he'd get sick of me!"

He pulled her tightly into a hug to remind her just how loved and wanted she truly was. Had this been Emma, he'd have already held her in his arms and told her how amazing she was, how brave and smart and beautiful. But this wasn't Emma. And it would be wrong of him to think of her as such.

"Everyone, North, Flynn, Rapunzel, Ana, me, we all love you and will never give you up. I promise you." He explained after taking a few shuddering breaths, "You're my sister and I have a feeling you were always meant to be."

She wrapped her arms around his neck as she sobbed into his shoulder.

He didn't know how long they stayed like that, how long his breathing had picked up to the point he began to hyperventilate, but at some point, she broke from him and began calling out his name worriedly, "Jack? Jack! What's wrong?"

He pushed her away slowly and had to clutch the steering wheel, burying his face into his hands to ground himself, "Just…hang on, okay?" he choked out.

"Do you want to count to five with me?" she asked calmly, rubbing his back.

"Yeah." He laughed wetly through his sob.

It definitely took more than five breaths but by the time his vision became less blurry and his heart rate steadied, he came to a dire conclusion as he looked into his sister's worried eyes; he needed help fast, or else he couldn't call himself a brother for failing to protect two sisters.

…

Jack had dropped off Vanellope well before four in the afternoon after both decided to take a walk and have some ice cream. He'd called Mr. Black after that and explained what had happened and was pleased to know that kid was going to be seeing the boogeyman side of his old dean he clearly remembered on some dark days.

After he'd talked to his father and felt Vanellope would be okay, he wasn't sure what to do or where to go next. Rapunzel would be home late, and he didn't know if he could handle people or an isolated apartment right now.

Making a decision, he headed to his work to try and design some new art in a different setting that would keep him preoccupied.

But first…

He cleared his throat, waiting for the beep of the voicemail coming to a finish, "Hey, Elsa, it's uh…it's Jack Overland. I've been putting this off but, I really think I need to come in for a session. I thought a lot about what you said and…I need to tell you something, I just…I can't keep it in anymore and I figure, maybe, you can help me with that. Anyways, let me know when I can come in and I'll be there. Thanks."

He hung up and took a breath, hating himself for feeling so weak, but knowing he had to do this. He needed help and she could be the one to do it, but he had to take that leap first, and this was the moment to do so.

He walked up to his studio only to find it locked. This was strange since Friday nights were usually busy. He unlocked it and walked inside to darkness and seeing no one around. His suspicion began to grow as he walked into the quiet building and towards the back, towards Viggo's office.

Normally, no one was allowed in there unless he was present, but something felt wrong and Jack was in no mood for games at this point. He'd just dealt with his sister's bullying outcome and left a voicemail for a therapist. He was in no mood by this point.

He opened the door and turned on the lights. Just like outside the place was quiet and empty. He walked to the desk and immediately felt his stomach drop. Right next to the computer was a small flyer for a tattoo artist exhibition that was happening two towns over as he stood there. He hadn't even heard about it, no one had said a thing to him. He turned it over and saw a scribble that looked like Viggo's writing: Don't tell Jack!

He was livid and turned to the computer, narrowing his eyes. Forgetting all sense of caution, he began breaking in, thankful for all of Hiccup's lessons on computer hacking growing up.

He was grateful they'd paid off because he made two awful discoveries just then:

The first was a file full of his artwork, but under Viggo's name. The next was his paycheck being given significantly less than all the others in the office. He fumed, his fists clenched and itching to break the wretched machine. But he had another idea.

He found one of his USB drives and downloaded all the incriminating evidence he could, deleting all his artwork on the main computer for good once he'd collected it. He then searched the office for any more of his work and grabbed it all.

He felt his head race and his blood boil, ready to finish collecting his tools and forever leave. But he had one more thing to take care of before he left for good. He threw his keys on the table, grabbed a black sharpie, and wrote on the flyer:

Consider this my notice, don't ever steal from me again. JO.

…..

Rapunzel knew something was off the minute she set foot into the apartment. Call it intuition but something in the air hung heavy and as she opened the door, the first thing she noticed was a box of scattered papers and tattoo artist tools. She turned to see Jack sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. She shut the door quietly and walked towards him, "Jack?" she asked, "What's wrong?"

He brought his head up to meet her eyes, somewhat startled by her appearance. He opened his mouth, shut it, then opened it again, "I quit." He choked out, not sure if he could meet her eyes.

"What?" she gasped.

He huffed out a manic laugh, "I quit my job!"

Her eyes widened, backing away, as he stood up abruptly and began pacing, running a hand through his hair and scratching his head in agitation.

"What happened?" she asked nervously.

He turned to her with a look of disgust, "Viggo was stealing my work and taking money out of my paycheck."

"What?!" she shouted angrily, feeling a surge of protection come over her, knowing her fiancé was justified in his decision now.

He nodded and a look of defeat crossed his features as if suddenly realizing something, "Oh my God." He breathed and sank back onto the couch with a thump, "Oh my God, I don't…I don't have a job! Holy shit, I'm so sorry, Rapunzel, I…I can't even provide for us now!" he cried, his head in his hands, rocking back and forth as he berated himself.

"Jack!" she said, rushing to his side and wrapping her arms around him, "You don't need to apologize." She said sternly, "You were right to leave, he was a scumbag."

"But we're getting married and how are we going to afford this place? We just moved!" he cried, "I should have just- "

"No," she shook her head, "You will find another place to work and we will find a way. We already took care of this month, so we have time. It's going to be okay."

He looked at her and once again was reminded so badly of how he failed those around him. He really hadn't thought it through. How could he pay for their apartment and utilities, let alone a wedding? How could he even call himself a brother, a friend, a husband or a son?

"Jack, I support you no matter what and we will get through this, together." She said firmly and brought him to her. He felt powerless and weak as he let her hold him, wrapping him up in her warmth and light that he so desperately needed in this moment.

"Let's go to bed and we'll sort it out tomorrow, yeah?" she nodded.

He blew out a breath and nodded, knowing she was right.

She got up towards the kitchen and he paused when he felt his phone buzz, having expected it for the past hour.

He hadn't been sitting idle at home once he walked through the door. He'd opened his own computer, found out who was judging the competition Viggo and his other ex-coworkers were competing in, and sent them a message with his evidence of stolen artwork. It took a good hour, but he knew it wouldn't be long for someone to disqualify Viggo and his team.

He looked at the text and saw a judge had answered his email and apologized profusely before announcing he'd disqualified the disgraced team. Jack grinned at that and felt some vindication before he saw another text pop up:

You will regret this.

…..

Hiccup stared down at the dazzling ring and grinned. It was a traditional gold Claddagh ring with a ruby in the center to represent a heart. It had been his mother's ring and he'd waited years to finally have it sized and polished just for Merida. It wasn't the typical diamond ring which is what made it so special for both him and Merida.

He smiled thinking about going to his father to ask for the ring only to have him swept up in a tight hug and nearly being squished to death. His father promised to hold off on telling Gobber mainly due to the fact he would get too excited and accidentally spill the little surprise without meaning to.

After that, he'd gone to Merida's parents to ask for their blessing only to be squished again and bombarded daily with texts asking if he'd done it yet.

He put the ring back in the box and finished his payment, feeling giddy at finally having it in his hands. Now came the next hard part, preparing a perfect proposal and executing it.

He wanted to be sure the group mentors knew so it wouldn't throw off the groove, and he also wanted to be sure they weren't interrupting any kids who needed to talk about something important on that day. He was so nervous, and the tiny part of his anxiety that told him she'd hate it was starting to creep up only for his rational side to come in and point out that she was the one for him and to just take the leap.

He blew out a breath he hadn't realized he'd kept inside and saw the fog it formed in front of his face. He was used to the cold and with the way he felt at this very moment, there wasn't a chill in his bone.

He got to his car and paused when he felt the vibration of an incoming text. He pulled out the phone, expecting it to be either of their parents begging for updates but it was from Merida.

Once again, he had to push his anxiety away, thinking she'd discovered his plan, when, in reality, she was most likely telling him about dinner.

He got into his car and pulled up the text and felt his heart sink as he read her words:

Rapunzel just texted, Jack quit his job, they were stealing his work. It's bad, she thinks it might be a good idea if you go over, I'm going over as well.

He shut his eyes feeling heartbroken for his friend. He looked between the text and the box in his other hand. This meant he had to hold off on his proposal for a while and as much as it sucked for him, he knew that in this moment, his best friend needed him more. So, with a newfound determination, he stuffed the ring box into the glove compartment and made his way over to Jack and Rapunzel's, readying himself for anything.

…..

Elsa didn't know how to even begin consoling Rapunzel at a time like this. She'd come for an individual session in tears that she'd apparently held in for days. When she finally got to the bottom of it, not only was Rapunzel dealing with stress from school and work, but now Jack was jobless.

"I know he'll find a new job." she sobbed openly, "I'm not even upset about that, I'm proud he stood up for himself and left."

"Something tells me that's not the real reason you're crying." Elsa pointed out.

Rapunzel sniffed and wiped her eyes, "No it's not. Jack looked…I don't know he was just so different. I've never seen him like that in my entire life!"

"What was he doing?" she asked curiously.

"He was laughing and crying hysterically and pacing around, cursing and slamming his fist on tables and chairs. It was just so intense I panicked and asked Merida and Hiccup to come over."

"I'm glad you did, did it help?" Elsa nodded.

"Only for a little bit. Merida was able to get me calm and Hiccup was wonderful helping Jack. But ever since then, he still gets erratic when he's doing things, talking to himself and doing things more aggressively like slamming doors and avoiding everyone who wants to talk to him."

"Losing a job, especially how he did, can have a huge impact on our psyche and I can tell this is worrying him to a point he's becoming overwhelmed."

"I've been trying to avoid going home as much as I can, I feel like my own problems aren't as important as this right now and maybe space is good for us, but, I just don't want him to worry about me now too. He's already doing so much."

Elsa nodded and handed Rapunzel more tissues, "You both have been under a lot of stress lately, and it sounds like Jack is processing a lot right now. However, you're both starting to do the one thing that can become a big problem in a relationship."

"What?" Rapunzel asked nervously.

"You're both so concerned about worrying the other that none of you are being honest with each other. You both mentioned at our first session that he didn't tell you about what caused his night terror for fear he'd worry you. And now you're not allowing yourself to be emotional around him for fear of worrying him. This can be a real make or break situation for you two moving forward."

Rapunzel knew she was right. Since knowing Jack, both had grown into an honest place with one another, sharing their feelings and opening up to one another. But recently, it was like a switch flipped, and whether it was Jack's issue or Rapunzel's own stress, both had begun to cross into a territory neither were ready for, hiding secrets from the other.

"If this continues, both of you will begin to distrust, grow bitter, and isolate. This can lead to a lot of destructive relationship boundaries." Elsa continued.

Rapunzel held her head in her hands, "What do I do?!" she cried.

"First, you keep coming to see me individually to talk about your stress. If ever there's a place to do that, it's in a counselor's office. Second, Jack is already scheduled to see me individually here soon, so I'll be explaining this to him as well. He may not open up right away, but I ask you to be patient as we both cross this bridge. And finally, be encouraging to him while allowing yourself to express your emotions in front of him."

Rapunzel listened intently, wishing she was taking notes but knowing she didn't need to. She bit her lip, "What if we can't get through this? What if he can't get past this?" she mumbled nervously.

Elsa smiled, "Something you both told me rang true, he wants nothing more than to keep you safe and show you how much he loves you; this builds him up. And with him comforting you and encouraging you, he builds you up. Keep that going. Eventually we will get to the bottom of all this but for now, find the little things to bring you two together."

"It won't stress him out if I do this right?" Rapunzel asked in a quivering but hopeful voice.

"If anything, it will only fuel his drive to find work and help take his mind off his own mess for a while to focus on yours. People like Jack tend to forget themselves and get overwhelmed, but when you give them a problem to fix, it helps boost them up."

"You're right." She smiled, "I notice when he does little things for me that I love he gets so happy and carefree. I just want us to be like we were."

"I'm going to tell you something that may shock you." Elsa said calmly, "After this, you both won't be the way you once were."

"What?" Rapunzel gasped.

Elsa merely smiled and held a hand up reassuringly, "It's nothing scary, but I encourage you to never try to go back to the way you were, it just doesn't happen that way no matter what."

"What do you mean?" she asked, the thought of losing what she and Jack had nearly debilitated her.

"You two are facing a challenge neither of you have experienced before. In that, you are both changing, your relationship is changing. Instead of going back, you move ahead, and you create a healthier, stronger relationship than even before. You keep those memories and those old times precious, but you create a stronger love moving forward."

"I see." Rapunzel smiled, "It's like me trying to move past trying to be the perfect daughter Gothel had wanted me to be and working instead on building mine and Mom's relationship as a mother and daughter, right?"

"Exactly. You were still a daughter who'd learned a lot and grew over time, but you became the version of the daughter both you and Ana came to love and still love."

"Thank you, Miss Elsa." Rapunzel smiled. Old nicknames never seemed to change no matter how old her patients got, but it was so endearing to be reminded of how far little Rapunzel had come in her healing through the years.

"Any time, Rapunzel." She smiled back, "We'll have a joint session soon, but first, I'll have that session with Jack."

Rapunzel nodded and wiped her cheeks, feeling ten times better than before she came in. She had a plan and soon, Jack would as well. They would win this battle, they had to.

…

Jack downed another drink, feeling lost in his thoughts, but grateful Hiccup was there with him. He'd ignored his friend at first, but eventually his absence and isolation were becoming apparent to everyone to the point Hiccup just flat come over anyways.

He'd spent the rest of that horrid weekend looking at places he could try working at. Come Monday he'd been out and about, trying to talk to studio owners and applying to different places. By Wednesday he'd concluded that he was not going to be so lucky. He'd been turned away by the first few and let it go but after nearly seven places he knew something was wrong.

He did some digging and discovered that Viggo was spreading lies about Jack, accusing him of stealing or having a bad attitude with staff and clients. He wasn't even given a chance to explain himself or give them the truth. He had known Viggo was popular around town so any slander towards him from Viggo meant everyone felt the same.

His failure was beginning to follow him around like a bad shadow. He was avoiding everyone, even Rapunzel, and when she was home, he could tell how scared she was of him and it stung to his very core. Since the beginning of the week, she'd been avoiding him, and he totally understood her reasonings. Hell, he'd be doing the same if in her shoes. He was a mess and he knew he was losing his grip, but the thing that scared him more than anything was his anger becoming too much and becoming the monster they, both hated. If he did that, he'd never forgive himself.

"Earth to Jack."

He snorted as Hiccup elbowed him. He merely shook his head and downed the last of his beer along with all the ruminating self-hatred that came with it. Hiccup watched him sadly then sat back, "You're going to find a great job Jack, maybe you need to dig into some other places a little further from Viggo's reach."

"I know I'll find a place, even if it's far. That's not why I'm upset." he sighed.

Hiccup nodded, leaning a little closer to show he was listening.

Jack rubbed his eyes, "I can't help but feel like I've done nothing but hurt everyone around me."

"Whoa, dude, you need to reign that in." Hiccup warned, "No one is blaming you for a thing."

Jack felt tears prick his eyes and shook his head, "I just hate that this…it's so stupid, but the minute it happened, it's done nothing but ruin my life and tear the people I love apart-"

"Hey, it's only been a few days, you're just- "

"No!" Jack cried then, hand gripping his hair tightly and shaking, "Not that. I haven't…I haven't told anyone about it." He admitted.

"What is it?" Hiccup asked him with concern.

Jack's body nearly vibrated the couch from his trembling, one hand nearly pulling hair out of his scalp, the other squeezing the bottle tight enough to hear a small crack. He wanted to get it out, he wanted this monster to leave, but he was terrified; truly and utterly terrified.

His voice made to move, he willed himself to try and get it out. Whatever it was clawed at his throat until he couldn't hold out any longer, "I can't!" he screamed and threw the bottle away from him violently, the resounding crash startling Hiccup but confirming to himself just how broken he was.

"Jack, hey, stay with me, alright." Hiccup tried soothing him, his hands up now so Jack could see, "Look whatever it is, you don't have to tell me, but you need to tell somebody."

"What if I can't?!" he cried out, "What if I'm stuck with this inside me for the rest of my life and I lose everyone!"

"That's not happening." Hiccup promised, "No matter how bad it is, I care about you."

"Hiccup, I'm not worth it, trust me." He spat in disgust at himself.

"That's not true," Hiccup defended, "Remember when I was having a panic attack at school, or crying about my mom? You were the one there for me. Not Merida, not my dad; you! So now it's my turn. No matter what this is, I'm your best friend and always will be."

"It's not fair." He sobbed, feeling his friend's hand on his back finally, "You don't deserve this, Rapunzel doesn't deserve this. I'm only killing us slowly."

"No, you're not." Hiccup said firmly, "You told me you have an appointment with Elsa soon, right? Go to that and you will have shown Rapunzel how worthy she is to you. By getting help, you are doing everything right, I promise you."

Jack shook his head, but Hiccup continued, "This will pass, Jack, and no matter what, I'm not leaving you, okay?"

Jack let out the longest sob he didn't realize he'd been carrying as his friend held him. He was reminded of something, something from long ago, but not when he was a child. No this was a different memory, another one that he'd never forget:

He was lying on a cold dirt road. His best friend was unconscious and bleeding, his leg bent so badly he was pretty sure it was going to pop off at the smallest movement. A broken bike was lying on the road and the truck was long gone. Jack had hoped the driver would turn around, call for help, do something. But no, it was just him and his best friend stuck on the cold ground. Defenseless and petrified.

Even if the lady's voice on the other end of the phone was calm and kind, he couldn't keep from shaking and crying as she explained what he needed to do while paramedics headed their way.

He just had to keep his friend warm. It was all he had to do, and he'd done that by holding him close, taking his jacket off and covering his body as best he could.

He ignored the cold and kept repeating over and over to his friend that he was there, that he wasn't leaving.

Hiccup was deathly still, and Jack felt numb, his tears the only thing reminding him that he was outside in the cold as they froze down his cheeks and neck.

Sirens wailed in the distance and he felt immense relief.

"You hear that Hiccup?" his teeth chattered, "They're close. They're coming."

His friend, somehow alive, moaned and managed to try speaking.

"Shh…hey, don't move, I got this. I'm not leaving you, alright, just hang in there Hiccup." He smiled through tears, trying to stay positive and happy for the one person who always stuck by his side, "I got you." He whispered.

Hiccup held his best friend, who finally wrapped his arms around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder, his fists still clenched but now finding Hiccups shirt to latch onto and ground himself.

Hiccup smiled through tears and shut his eyes, "I got you."