There's something so intimate about this experience that she would never in a million years have expected to feel. She had always been in the sidelines, watching the women grow bigger and bigger each passing day. There weren't many of them in Storybrooke, but she remembered the few women who had tended to her as a child. Luisa comes to her mind; she was the one who she would remember the most. Mother didn't find much use for her after realizing how close the two had become, and quickly terminated her as her handmaiden, but she remembered the feeling of the child moving under her hands so long ago. "One day, you too will know what this feels like, sweetheart. And when you do, you'll know a love more powerful than anything else in this world. The love of a mother and child."
She never knew that kind of love, but she longed after it. The moment she had sealed her fate to protect herself from Mother, she had lost all hope of feeling such love, but then Henry came and changed it all. He may not have grown inside her, but she understood Luisa then, the moment he was placed in her hands. A love stronger than anything else in this world. And how right she was. She would have given everything up for her son, and she did.

And now he was lost to her.

It hurt every time, the pain in her heart never lessening, yet today seemed worse. Today she felt her baby move within her. The fluttering under her skin, it rendered her motionless in the middle of the council meeting, stopping the world around her as she had brought her hands to her stomach.

"Regina, are you ok? Is the baby ok?" Snow asked her noticing the change in her stepmother's expression. She couldn't answer though, had only moved her eyes to Granny who had come to join Snow beside her."...I..I don't know. I - I think I felt her move?" She had said as Charming had begun to ask people to leave, noticing how most had left, all except his men. Four months later, and she could barely even speak his name in her head without her heart shattering.
"Oh," Snow had said before letting out the breath she had been holding, quietly laughing she said, "It's ok, this is normal. I had wondered if you had felt her before, but I take it this is the first time?"
Her head had practically whipped towards Snow at her words, eyes ready to shoot a glare the moment she started laughing and shaking her head. But she realized, everything that had happened to her since he was taken, all of her guidance had come from the two women in front of her. They had been there, reluctantly through all of her protests, when she had been wrenching her guts out every morning, afternoon and night. Morning sickness they had called it, why she had no idea, it lasted her from the moment she woke to the moment she went to sleep.
"You don't have to be scared, nothing's wrong Regina, you're just to the point now where you're going to feel her move around. She's getting bigger and bigger by each passing day."

It had been that very statement that had broken her. She had broken into pieces crying, not that it was anything new, but that statement had broken her to shreds. she ran out of the room as fast as her legs could carry her, to her chambers. Four months, and he wasn't here. He had missed her anger and rage at every little thing that set her off, her moods, her sickness, and now he was missing one of the most incredible moments of her life. The moment their child had moved within her.
The tears stung, as always when she thought of him. Countless nights of restless sleep and screaming nightmares shared between her and the little boy currently sleeping in her bed. Four months, and the pain is still so raw, and their child is growing without the presence of her father each day.

She sat there in her chair looking out into the sky, whispering words to her baby, " I don't know how I'm going to get your father back here, but please believe me when I say I will not give up on him, or on you. I've failed you, and you're not even here yet, and I'm so sorry for that sweetheart." She said as she closed her eyes, feeling her emotions run wild and deep.
Every plan, every attack, every mission had failed since he had been taken from her, and she was beginning to get restless. Zelena had seemed pleased in her last visit, appearing in a council meeting, and freezing everyone on the spot, including her. She had stood there, trying to fight against her sister's magic as her wicked sister placed her hands on her stomach and sneered at the 'beautiful' progress the baby was doing. "I'm amazed you've made it this far darling, so sad your thief isn't here to see for himself. I wonder if he'll be conscious enough to rejoice in the news once I get back. He's a strong fighter you know, puts on a hell of a show too, but, magic has its ways doesn't it, Sis?"
Next thing she knew, she felt that feeling again, that sense of power just needing to be released, thinking of Robin and his state, she had flown Zelena half way across the room, and unfroze everyone. The look on her sister's face, and the words she spat out were enough to confirm what was happening to her own magic. "Don't get so use to that, you'll never be able to control it. Your blackened heart will never allow it." And with that she had disappeared behind a cloud of green leaving them all speechless.

She had white magic in her, and had no way of controlling it.

"They call themselves the Witches of Oz, meant to empower and protect each other and their people. Each of them with their own place to guard, but when Zelena came along, it looks like it all changed. We need more information, there's little mentions in these books about what happened to them." Belle explained. She had come running up from the library with news of her discovery, and immediately a council meeting had been called.
"Let me guess, Zelena happens to be the Wicked Witch of the West? So what do we need? A bucket of water or a house to drop on her?"
"Grumpy!"
"Well it's true Princess, she dies with one of them doesn't she?" Grumpy grumbled.
"As much as I'd like to keep entertaining this, let me act like an actual adult here and ask where we are expected to find the rest of the Witches? You said it yourself, there's no record to be found of what happened to them." Regina spoke as she was tired of hearing such nonsense.
"The only thing the book mentions is that Glinda, The Witch of the North was banished, here to our land in the North Woods." Belle explained as she made her way closer to her side.
"This has to be the way to defeat her." She whispered quietly to herself as she took the book from Belle.
"Did you find anything that could lead me to her?" She asked looking up from the book.
"No, all I know is that she's deep in the North Woods, and will only reveal herself to those she deems true of heart. It's a long shot, but it's the only lead I have found in your books. I've asked Neal to come with me to Rumple's castle, I'm hoping to find more information there. I'm sorry I couldn't find anything more, but it's a start." Belle spoke to her, yet she was barely listening at this point.
She had white magic in her, magic so foreign to her that she had no way of calling for it or controlling it, but something in her told her this was the only way to stop her sister. She needed to get a hold of it, and only then would she defeat her and get Robin back. The problem now was this Good Witch of the North, how to find her, and if she will even allow her to enter her domain.
"This is all I have to go with Belle, it's more than enough for me to start. When you and Neal are ready to go, find me. I'll be going with you until we part, and then I'll send you both as close as I can to his castle." With that she started to walk away, barely making it a foot before she hears Snow's voice.
"And where will you be going Regina?" Snow asked as she stood from her chair and approached her.
"Where the hell do you think I'm going Snow?" She answered, already frustrated.
"You sure as hell aren't going to the Woods alone if that's what you're thinking. I can't believe you would even think of doing this in your condition!" The young brunette all but hollered.
"I'm pregnant Snow White, I'm not disabled. This Witch is the only lead I have to defeat my idiot sister and end this once and for all, so my child can have a life with its father. I'm. Going." She growled as she stepped closer to Snow.
"You won't do any of them any good if you're dead. Do you really think she won't try to get you while out in the open! I'm mean seriously Regina are you so stubborn that you're willing to risk the lives of them both by going alone! We don't even know what this witch is like, who she is, and what she can do. You are not going alone." After years of dealing with her, Regina saw the young woman had learned to spar words with her, but they both knew it was a low blow.
"Your Majesties, if I may…" Came Little John's calming voice as he stepped into the battlefield brewing among both women.
"What, now you and your men are going to tell me I'm not to go either?" Regina snarled as she turned to face him. They had always been near her these last few months, casually strolling down her corridor, or dining near her in the hall. She blamed it on Roland and their need to protect the boy, but she knew it went far beyond just Roland. They were there for her, and she wasn't sure she was ready to accept that.
"Far be it from us, or anyone here to get in your way, but I do agree that you should not go alone. You have a target on your back, and a babe growing within you. If you go, the Merry Men will be by your side."
"And why would I let you do that?" She asked confused, the thought alone was unexpected. These men, Little John and all, they had been there to protect Roland. They had stood by her side when Robin was here, but that was because he was their leader. Because of them, not her.
"Because Your Majesty, Robin may not be here, but we are, and if anything were to happen to you while he was gone, he would murder us all. Not to mention, our little lad Roland, he can't lose someone else, especially you." The big man asserted.
"That, and who's to keep our wits in shape if you were to leave. You leave for your chambers at night and Will thinks he's the all and mighty with his jokes. Imagine how he could get if you're gone for the length of time you're planning to be gone for." Friar Tuck remarked as he approached John's side.

"Hey! I'm just as witty as her you bloody lot!" came Wills indignified shriek of protest.

To say Regina had been rendered speechless would have been an understatement. Everything and everyone around her was changing, and it was something she couldn't fully wrap her head around. This idea of people wanting to protect her. She hadn't been able to argue against them, her emotions threatening to bring her to tears, and if anyone had seen the ones she refused to shed in her eyes, they didn't say a word.

It didn't take much longer after Tuck said his words for a small party to have been organized to leave in the evening for the North Woods. The only problem now was the terrified child in her arms.
He had spent the day with Granny, the older woman being one of the few trustees Roland was left with when he wasn't with her, and so she had embarked on finding him before her departure.
Much to her surprise when she told him the good news of their progress, the little boy had gone into a fit and clung to her, begging her not to go. Leaving her and the older women speechless.
"Honey, why don't you want me to go?" She cooed as she caressed her hands through his hair in the hopes of soothing him.
"You can't go Gina; you can't leave me!" He cried as he buried himself deeper into her embrace.
"Roland, you know I'll never leave you, not willingly. But I have to find your Papa sweetheart, and this woman is the only way for me to do that."
"But what if you don't come back! Then I'll never see you or Papa again! No! NO! You can't leave me!" He sobbed as he shook his head violently against her, his piercing screaming tearing her apart. The way his whole body shook in fear is something that will haunt her forever. She couldn't speak, there were no words to sooth his mind, for she knew his fears all too well. But she had to see this through, she had to find this little boy's father, not just for his sake, but hers.
And so she sat there, with Roland in her arms, rocking him back and forth, trying to calm him down. They nested there in the chair as Granny blanketed them, leaving them to find their comfort as she went about the kitchen.
She didn't know how long she stayed there, closing her eyes clinging on to him just as hard as he was to her. Eventually his breathing had settled, his breath hiccupping every so often, even in sleep he did not lessen his hold. It was enough to shatter her already broken heart. She had caused this anguish, had she not involved herself with Robin, this would have never happened.
"You blaming yourself for something you haven't done isn't going to help anyone in this situation, girl." Came Granny's voice, piercing through her thoughts.
Quietly as to not awaken the child in her arms she answered, "But that's where you're wrong. It's because of me that Robin and his child are in this situation. I made them the worst of targets, and Zelena exploited that to its full potential. Don't tell me it isn't my fault when Roland is in my arms instead in the arms of his father."
"Your Mother broke you in more ways than one. Love has been ripped away from you time and time again, but this, here and now, is not your fault. It's your mother's and everyone else's who made you believe you aren't worth loving. Granted, trouble seems to follow you like a shadow, but this isn't your fault. If it wasn't Robin, it would be someone else, and you would still be trying to get them back. There are plenty of people to blame here, but none of which are in this room." She asserted as she came to stand in front of her.
"I know there is no stopping you from going into those woods, but all I can ask of you my sweet girl is to believe that your life matters. This child growing inside you," Granny whispered as she got down to her level, placing a hand on top of her growing belly, "is a gift of love and hope. Come hell or high water, you will find your way back to Robin. Just make it there alive and whole. You can't be foolish anymore, and I refuse to allow you to think that you are disposable. Roland will be safe here, and you will allow his men to guide you, and fight with and for you. Do I make myself clear?" The older woman declared, her eyes piercing into her own.

She closed her eyes as her tears sprang free. Her words failed her, so she placed her hand on top of Granny's in a silent answer.

A few moments later she got up with Roland in her arms, turning to face the older woman before leaving the kitchen, "Please keep him safe, above all else, please keep him safe for me."

"I'll keep him safe. All I ask is for you to return her safely, and whole."

By the time she reached her room, Roland had started to stir in her arms once more, so she laid down in her bed with him still in her arms. She knew he was awake, he little eyes roaming the room as his hands drew patterns on her hand. "Roland sweetie, I know you're scarred for me to go, but I promise I'm going to be ok. Ill talk to you everyday, and Granny will keep you safe." She whispered out to him as she continued to run her fingers through his hair when he suddenly sat up, his little legs astride her own.

"You promise me that you'll come back. Promise me." He declared as his hands cupped both her cheeks, eyes set in determination of her answer.

"I promise you sweetie, I'll come back to you. But I need to go and find a way to bring back your Papa." She answered as she looked into his sweet innocent eyes.

"And I can talk to you no matter what?" He asked, his eyes doubtful in question.

"Yes. You see I have a special mirror that will let me talk to you, and see you. Everyday while I'm gone I'll wish you goodnight." She said she she brought her hands to cover his. This seemed to appease him, for he nodded his head and laid back down against her chest.

She knew she needed to get up and start preparing for what's to come in a few hours. Books she needed to review, tactics to be prepared, a protection spell to be done for the castle and its people for when she was away, but right now, this little boy needed her more than anything. So for a bit it would wait, she needed to know he was okay. Truth be told she needed him just as much as he needed her. But this was a start, she had a lead to go on, and come hell or high water she was going to meet this Glinda, and she would find the way to defeat Zelena once and for all.

I'm back! I wish you all a wonderful holiday season wherever you may be.

I thank each and every single one of you who have stood by this story and put up with me and my updates. You mean the world to me. And a big thank you to the beautiful daneeellee for reading this over.
Please leave a review if you have a moment.

-yb