Everything was normal. His heart pumped fast but steady, his breath puffing strong and heavy through his lungs, his muscles warm with exertion, his weights a heavy anchor to his straying mind. No thoughts whatsoever, just the usual inhuman amount of reps: 478, 479, 480, 481, 482 "fufufufufu" 483, 484, 489… The soft shuffling of creamy, long legs rubbing against each other just barely registered in his brain. 490, 491, 492, another laugh.

"Captain incoming," she warned just seconds before the rubbery annoyance smacked against the crows' nest window, giving him just enough time to fasten his grip on the iron bar in his hands and steel his mind to not just drop the weight on the abused planks. He put it down without any damage to Sunny before looking at the damn nuisance, not even trying to make out the mumbled words against the glass.

It was probably one of the best things about the crew; just like their captain, no matter what abuse they suffered, they all bounced back to normal with relative ease. One all-out party with all their friends and nobody mentioned the incident again, no more cuddling and hovering. Fine, the party had lasted a fucking week, but he's the last person to say no to freely given booze.

"Shall we let him inside?" Robin asked, barely looking up from her book.

"Nah, Franky got it covered," he chuckled at the faint noises of outrage coming from the lawn deck, while Luffy started pouting against the window. Adorable idiot.

Maybe, maybe not everything had gone back to normal. Not just their usual way of looking at him, that first stray glance to his neck to make sure the line of the rope really did go away. Nah, most different was he himself. Almost dying like that had made him a fucking sentimental fool. Before he would have kicked the boy back down on deck. Fucking bullshit. Wasn't his first near death experience, after all. Should have gotten used to it by now. Wiped his sweaty face with the fresh towel a disembodied hand offered him, in a sorry attempt to also wipe off that annoying voice in the back of his head saying that all the other times he also didn't have a kid on the way. What the fuck kind of difference did that make? Brat would be better off without him anyway.

"Would you stop worrying?"

Of fucking course she knew. "The kid would be safer if you guys had let me die. You know that."

There was a hint of sadness in her eyes and it made him wonder just when she'd gotten this open with her emotions, knowing full well that it wasn't the first time he'd wondered that. She put down her book and smiled up at him with one hand on her belly. Just how fucking huge could she get? Was almost obscene at this point. Shouldn't there be enough room with how tall she was? Still got a whole fucking month to go and she looked like Luffy after one of his midnight fridge raids. She wouldn't just pop, would she?

"I know. But it doesn't matter. Yes, it will be difficult with the added spotlight on us, but we have a plan for that." Her voice didn't even waver, how could she be so fucking sure?

Yes, Luffy had decided they'd coup de burst into the calm belt for birth since that would at least keep other pirates off their backs and marines wouldn't suspect them there. They had agreed that Tashigi would take care of the kid until it was old enough to properly run away from marines, but there was just no fucking way things could be so simple for them. Fuck, it wasn't even just the kid, they all were in more danger now. It was his fucking job to protect them and now they've all put themselves in an even more dangerous situation because of him… Fuck!

"Fufufufu" And just what the fuck could she possibly find funny about that? "You know the marines will need some time to recover from that battle, the dent to their image and all. But I suppose you're right, Kenshi-san, we're all in terrible danger and since you're obviously the only one strong enough to protect us, you better start training again," she fucking taunted, several arms lifting up the weight he'd used earlier. "I believe you've been interrupted at 493, but it might be better for you to start over again. We helpless Strawhats are counting on you, after all."

Fucking damn. Took the weight with a sigh and put it back on the rack where he should have put it right away and sat down behind her. Fucking damn.

"I'm sorry," he said, resting his head against her shoulder and breathed a relieved sigh when she instantly lifted a real hand to comb through his hair.

"I know, but you better remember that we are not helpless, you know I'm not supposed to do heavy lifting," she laughed with a nod towards his weight and it hit harder than he would have liked. As if it hadn't been clear what she meant and as if it fucking mattered. He knew just one of the plates was too heavy for her, fuck, he'd tied her to it once! But with her power she had effortlessly lifted 10.

Of course they weren't helpless, they would have never made it this far if they were. But… No, they were strong, the strongest people he knew in fact. They didn't have weak links in their crew. And if anyone dared to go after Robin during labour or after their kid, it wouldn't matter if they were Yonkou, admirals, or self-proclaimed gods. Could fucking send them a buster call and they'd crush every last ship. He took a last deep breath from the crook of her neck before standing up again. Was fucking time he peeled his captain from the fucking window since the boy had been fairly comfortable ignoring their shipwright and he wondered just when he'd started to rely on her strength this much. Woman was his rock.

"What, no kissy kissy?" Luffy laughed through pursed lips when he opened the window next to him, one eye kept shut, and brows drawn in the worst impersonation of himself he'd ever seen. Grabbed him by the scruff of his neck to pull him off the glass. If he were to kiss the idiot on his pouty lips, would it end this stupid meddling of his? How could someone so innocent and oblivious be that suggestive? Ever since they'd reunited with Robin… fucking annoying. He decided against it. Even if it might get the boy off his back and even if it might prompt him to take a bath for a change it wasn't worth it. He didn't see Nami anywhere close, but if she just so much as felt the intent she sure as fuck would fly up here to get a picture of it. Fucking greedy witch…

Who the fuck even paid for shit like that. That picture she had taken after Luffy and he had fallen asleep in that storage room on chicken guy's ship… she had given Luffy and him money for that. Actual fucking money. And if Nami gave away money… she must have made millions with that picture.

"What's up?" He asked instead with probably visible irritation.

"Sanji said I won't get any afternoon steak if I don't get you guys to join, too… no Robin, he made very clear that that shitty, second rate swordsman can stay up there and fuse with his fucking dumbbells," he explained, face effortlessly slipping into his very accurate shitcook impersonation, curly brow and all.

"Fine, we're coming," he said while tossing the boy back down on deck where he crashed under renewed outrage of Franky.

Left the window open for Robin and climbed down through the hatch himself, only to find everyone down in the kitchen already fawning over Robin's belly. He should have just jumped, but with Luffy making a dent already he didn't feel like trying his luck with the cyborg.

It took him just one look at Luffy's thinking face to know that shit was about to happen. It was never a good thing if he thought things. One stretched hand still against Robin's stomach, where through thin fabric movement from his kid was clearly seen.

"Feels like bony fish wriggling," Luffy said with a self-confirming nod and Robin laughed immediately.

"A parasite for sure," she added, winking in his direction as if to remind him that she hadn't forgotten about his very similar reaction to the first time he'd felt the movement.

"A parasite?" Chopper perked up, worry thick in his voice, "you haven't eaten any raw fish or meat, have you? That's really not-" the doctor started but stopped when their captain's head snaked around his back to give him one of his serious, dark faces.

"Grew for months and months, wiggling about until its big enough to rip out of her tummy!" He whispered, voice ominous, smacking his hands down on the terrified reindeer's shoulders who cried out and instinctively switched to guard point, knocking over chairs and bumping the table with a loud bang, followed by flaming feet stomping both idiots to the floor with a stern reprimand that Robin wasn't to be frightened because she could go into early labour, all the while she laughed openly at the crews antics. Fucking idiots… parasites… Ridiculous, indigestion was a much more likely cause for movement like that… much, much more. Definitely! And it was completely uncalled for that she still made fun of him for thinking that...

"So, do you guys have any preferences about the gender?" Nami asked and he scoffed. Obviously.

"Sure as fuck hope it's a boy, every damn woman I know is creepy as fuck," he muttered sitting down on an empty chair and ignoring the two idiots nursing their injuries.

No matter what the others would insist on later, he did not do an undignified yelp when he felt the sudden pressure of a dainty hand squeezing his balls. Back ramrod straight he narrowed his eye at her as she sat there with her chin resting in her hand and a disturbingly nice smile on her lips. "What was that, Kenshi-san?" She asked squeezing harder to accentuate her question.

Fucking bitch just proved his point… no wonder Franky never dared to cross her. "Every gender is just fine, isn't it?" She asked and he just nodded dumbly along and got rewarded with a gentle caress before her hand in his pants dissipated.

"No," Luffy spoke up, still sitting in a more or less crumpled heap on the floor, and if he didn't know him better he'd say he looked almost sinister as his gaze flickered from Sanji doting on Nami and Robin to the heavy lock on the fridge. "I want it to be a girl," he said with a finality that almost sounded like an order. But before he could come to the baffling conclusion that Luffy, their Luffy, was developing a long term plan the shit cook chimed in with hearts in his eyes and noodles for limbs. "Oh yes! A sweet, beautiful baby girl, just as strikingly beautiful as Robin-chwan! Finally a bit more class on this ship full of fucking barbarians!"

"Language!" Nami screamed but was only met with mad laughter from their captain that hadn't even been addressed.

"Good thing Robin has the parasite, Nami would have to swim with her butt over water so it can breathe," the boy laughed, no doubt imagining the logistics of such a swimming technique.

Holy fuck, that brat should count itself lucky that it wouldn't be raised here.

Let me know what you think about this chapter.

Thanks to Ghost for Beta- reading.

See you next week!