Well well well, this is it, for real this time!

It's been truly wonderful and I thank all of you who supported me and this self-indulgent babble.

Thanks to Ghost for beta-ing, holding my hand and providing me with constant support and the occasional directionally challenged eyecandy to make my days.

In all their years of playing cat and mouse, all the years in which compulsory cooperation had turned to a degree of trust that shouldn't be possible, he had never seen the admiral's expression less guarded. There were so much sorrow and compassion in his gaze it almost made him sick. This was even worse than when they took him. Things were shit as they were. He knew what the White Hunter was going to say to him. He knew because 15 minutes ago his daughter had been born and his world had stopped. All the happiness people had promised him for that moment? None of it he had experienced, quite the contrary. Instead his stomach had lurched and all his anticipation, every bit of positivity had fled his body like rats did a sinking ship. He wasn't surprised that this possibility hadn't crossed his mind, he was kinda stupid like that sometimes, but how was it possible that it hadn't crossed Robin's? Her beautiful, genius, always over analyzing mind should have thought of it. Or had she and just decided that it would be best for both of them if they didn't think about it?

"I'm sorry, boy, I really, truly am, but…"

He knew he was, believed him. No matter how crass he'd been back on that piece of land, he really had wanted to help them, help their kid.

"No, I understand. It's alright," he answered, but he knew he wasn't convincing anybody. Smoker cursed, lit his first cigar since he came on board a day ago. Fuck he'd really been committed…

"It's just too dangerous, the two of you are a running Gag in the barracks. If she turns up with a green-haired brat… You sure made your point at the gallows, but fuck, none of them expects a pirate to be faithful and we can't just ship it off either, it's too rare. Especially with your mug all over the media recently."

"Fuck, I know that," he shouted, fully aware that it was not fair to lash out at the man who had been willing to risk his and his presumed lover's careers and maybe even lives to keep his child safe. Whole world wasn't fair, was it? Fucking green hair of his… never in his life had he hated it more than at that moment when Chopper had laid the screaming kid in Robin's tired arms.

"I- We know what you would have done for her. You shouldn't feel guilty and tell Tashigi, too. The deal was she raises her if she came after Robin and we wouldn't even think of asking now. We… ah, didn't fucking think that this was a possibility…"

Smoker let out a puff of smoke, savouring it as if he'd denied himself for weeks. "Well for what it's worth, in this crew she'll be as safe as she can be under a pirate flag. It will take us a lot more time to reach the top and I can't promise anything, but for now we can try to keep the ships off your track the first few months, I heard Kidd is being quite busy these days."

"We appreciate it, just don't get yourself in trouble."

The marine scoffed at him "I'm an admiral, boy."

True, there weren't many above him, but Aokiji had also been an admiral, and where was he now? Cycling the world with an ice leg.

"I'll get going now before your captain wakes up, I can't bear another pirate-hug. Tell Nico I send my regards, you got yourselves a cute little brat," Smoker said as he got up from the galley's chair.

It was his time to scoff, "No we don't"

Smoker answered with a hearty laugh. "No, you don't. I haven't seen any other newborns, but that's one ugly kid, must have gotten that from you, Roronoa," he amended as he left through the door with a lazy wave. Oh, how right he was.

When he came back to the infirmary both were fast asleep. He sat down on the floor, leaning against her bed. Fucking hell, he was a father. And he'd raise this kid, too. Had been kinda convenient, that the kid would be raised by someone else. Just how the fuck was he ready for this kind of responsibility?

Nami would certainly help, considering how much she increased his debt for swearing in front of the younger crew members he'd probably end up as her slave now that there was an actual child around. Hadn't talked with the others about this new situation yet… didn't really want to either. What did he himself even think about the situation?

First off, Smoker was damn right, his daughter definitely didn't get her looks from Robin. Wasn't just the green hair either… the brat was ugly, maybe even a bit disgusting, though Chopper had insisted that all newborn babies looked frail and scrunched up and were usually covered in muck. He had been prepared for blood and shit, he could deal with that, but fuck if it hadn't made him a bit queasy to see Robin's pretty little cunt mutate to the mouth of a seaking or to see his daughter covered in dickcheese, which according to Chopper was completely normal and even healthy for her. Kept her safe, he'd said. Fuck, that girl would need a hell of a lot more to be safe than just some whitish sheen of whatever the fuck this was. Not dickcheese, Chopper had made that quite clear with a not so gentle hoof in his face.

He would keep her safe, he and Robin and all the others. And they would keep themselves safe because no matter what the other admirals or emperors would throw at them, his little girl would be loved unconditionally and not be left to fend on her own like most of them had. Tashigi would have loved the ugly little bird like her own, but since she'd turned out a cockatoo and not a raven she'd have to protect her from afar. He was confident that those two could do it, climb the ranks and change the world from the top.

"You're here," Robin's soft voice brought him back to the present.

"'course I am, where else would I be?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe throw a temper tantrum because your genes messed with our wonderful plan?"

He scoffed. "You're awfully calm about it."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Endorphins I suppose, do you want to hold her?"

The question instantly put his hair on end. No way in hell he'd touch that whisk of a human being, he'd crush her before she could even draw the air in her lungs to scream. "I'd break her."

She chuckled, "that's what you feared for me as well and look where we are now, my big, burly swordsman. Come on, man up, take our sweet baby girl."

He got up and looked at her, that sweet baby girl. Did she really think that? He couldn't ask could he? Would it be an insult to tell her their daughter was not beautiful? He wasn't especially socially adept, but even he knew that one didn't say bad things about newborns. One was supposed to like them and think they are beautiful. Especially if it was your own.

"What's wrong, Zoro? We can keep her safe, it will be difficult but we can!" She assured him completely missing the mark. His woman had to be really tired, not that he could blame her.

"That's not it, of course we'll keep her safe, it's just… do you really … I don't know how to say this… don't you think she's kinda ugly?"

She laughed, only for a moment before she started wincing, damn. Their girl woke up, blinking tired eyes at him even though, according to Chopper, she couldn't see him yet.

"In fact, I think she's quite adorable, with all of her covered in vernix caseosa and just that shock of green hair in the middle of her head she looks like a cockatoo, don't you, my little girl?" She ended up cooing at the infant.

So she saw it too! And cockatoo was the nice name to give her. If she had teeth she'd be a little Bartolomeo. Oh, wouldn't he be thrilled to see her?

He sat down at the edge of the bed so she could look at the ugly thing in his arms without craning. How the fuck could they produce something so tiny? His arms were bigger than the girl! She hadn't looked that tiny when Robin had held her. He was an idiot, even without that fond smile on her lips to tell the truth… Of course she thought the girl was cute, she always had a weird sense of aesthetics. Wouldn't have settled for him otherwise. Although… In his eyes she was always most beautiful after a fight, so maybe she wasn't the only one with weird taste.

Lots of things were weird right now… But… it wasn't the responsibility, couldn't be. He took responsibility all the fucking time. This was just… surreal in a way. Combed his hand through her sweaty hair, balancing the child on one arm. Battle well fought. She leaned into his touch, tired smile on her lips but mischief shining in her exhausted eyes.

"I think it might be time for her to meet the rest of the family, don't you? I'm sure Sanji will be thrilled," she said with a soft chuckle.

He fucking loved that woman. Poor bastard would probably faint when he saw the girl.

In the end, it didn't matter that their daughter was ugly as fuck and looked like him. They'd have to raise her and she'd have to grow up surrounded by idiots and perverts. It couldn't be helped and honestly, it was just fine.

So you've reached the end, but it doesn't really sound like an end, does it? Lots of you wanted them to raise the brat and since I'm a generous writer, who isn't at all self-indulgent or hears her biological clock ticking, I decided to give you just that.

Next Wednesday I'll publish the sequel to this story, about how they and the crew raise their beautiful little angel ugly demon spawn. It'll be called 'The Cockatoo Chronicles' so either keep a look out for it or subscribe to me so you don't miss it. I totally understand if you're not interested in a fic like that, especially since the genre will be mostly humor (or my attempt at it) and really focus on the ugly bird and her interactions with the crew.

If you want more Zorobin I'll put up a unofficial sequel with a bunch of oneshots if the need arises (I know I talked big about further threesomes and I have not forgotten about that)

Anyways, I don't know if you check my bookmarks but check out Not Just A Woman by kibosama on ao3 if you haven't (I know, chances are slim), because it's A fucking adorable and in character and B what Shôganai was supposed to be if it hadn't gone down the kink drain.

Last but not least, if you haven't kudosed yet, please do and please leave a comment because I assume for a lot of you this will be good bye. Have you enjoyed reading? Did you read because there was nothing else in the Zorobin tag? I really don't care, I just thank you for sticking with it to the end!

I hope to see some of you next week!