As the youngest members of the gang turned 19, Stoick flew over once and brought a present.
"Hey father, nice to see you!" Hiccup welcomed him. "What´s the matter? I hope you´ve got no bad news for us, but came to congratulate the twins."
Stoick got off his dragon Skullcrusher and loosened two barrels from the dragon´s back.
"Birtday presents!" he smirked.
Hiccup glanced to the barrels and wavered between surprise and horror.
"Do I guess right, that there is no water in these barrels?" Hiccup asked.
Stoick laughed out loud. "It´s beer, son! You are young, you should celebrate! Not only the twins`birthday, but life! See, Hiccup: life is always insecure, especially if you defend the edge and berk against what enemy ever appears on the horizon. And it is important to always be prepared for whatever may come. But you work way too hard. Give it a try, have a party! Enjoy, because you never know, how much time is left."
"I know, father. But are you serious? Beer? For the twins? You never know what nonsense they hatch up when they´re drunk!"
Stoick laughed again. "Maybe you should hatch up some nonsense, too, son. I am very serious about my wish of you all have fun. Gobber and I will take care of the edge!"
Hiccup blinked at his father suspiciously. But then he sighed: "I´ll go get the twins."
Ruff and Tuff sat on the watchtower and were very bored. As Hiccup arrived with Toothless, they reported: "No ship, no dragon, dragonhunter, dragonrider, except of Astrid, Heather and Fishlegs on their exploration flight. A whale family, countless seagulls and neverending waves. Tuff slept for an hour and dreamed of cheese, before falling off the hammock. Then we switched and I dreamed of cheese."
"Come on, my father has come to give you a birthday present." Hiccup said, still not feeling very calm about the idea of those two getting drunk.
"That´s good news! Let´s have a look! Barf, Belch! Bring us to the clubhouse."
As the twins saw their presents they jumped on Stoick to hug him fiercely.
"Beer! My very own beer! And I am not too young this time so that the tavern host may shoo me away!"
Stoick shooted an annoyed look to Tuff. "I was the tavern host and you were 14 and had a false mustache stuck on."
Tuff embarrassedly drilled the tip of his left boot into the ground. "Thought, this´d work out good back then."
Astrid, Heather and Fishlegs arrived. "Chief, good to see you, how´s it going? There´s nothing in sight in about 30 miles. Our dragons need to rest." Astrid stated.
"Look what we´ve got! Beer!" Tuff sang. "A barrel each! One for me, one for Ruff! I´ll just sit i my barrel and put a straw in!"
Hiccup pinched his nose and gave punitive looks to his father, forming the words "what have you done?"
"Between beach and forest is a perfect little clearing, that lies in a depression. We can light a campfire and roast some meat and bread and cheese – why am I so keen on cheese? And we´ll have a great time!" Tuff explained.
Ruffnut didn´t seem to be as euphoric as her brother was.
"I always become kind of tired and boring, when I drink beer. But as long as you´re happy..." Ruff shrugged her shoulders.
Astrid and Heather said: "Party sounds good, but we´ll have to work out a plan first. Go have your party, we´ll come after all is done!"
Ruff and Tuff flew with their dragon, who had to carry the barrels to their cozy basin in the wood, where they could sit sheltered and would not be seen immidiately in case there would be a raid after all.
The twins were busy preparing the place and brought blankets, tankards, torches, bread, meat and cheese.
As the sky began to darken, all their dragons were fed and had gone to sleep in their stables.
Heather and Astrid still worked on something, or at least they pretended to, Hiccup supposed, as he thought the girls weren´t very keen on watching the twins and Snotlout getting drunk and behaving like monkeys.
But it turned out to be a very jolly evening.
They first ate and drank to every attack they had mastered.
"I drink to the victory over Alvin!" "I raise my tankard to the victory over Mildew!" "I drink to the victory over Dagur!" "Viggo!"
"I drink for your birthday!" and so on.
It didn´t take too long until the gang felt quite dizzy and inebriated.
"I am so damn weary! I knew it before, so why did I drink that much?" ruff whined.
"Princess, you only had two tankards! That´s not much!" Snotlout said and wiggled his eyebrows. "I always thought you easily outdrink each of us all!"
"Meh, I´ll get a nap! Don´t wake me up unless you have sweets! I´d go murder for some sugar!" Ruff yawned and laid back, leaning on a felled tree.
Snotlout and Tuff sat on another trunk and told dirty jokes.
"Listen! What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don´t get some support, people will think we´re nuts!" Snotlout laughed whimpering. And Tuff fell into his laughter! "Nuts! Ahahaha! Well, that was a tough nut, barely got it!" Hiccup had to admit that he had such fun like he hadn´t in a long time. He glanced over to Fishlegs, who just sat on another trunk and chuckled quietly. "Hey Legs, what´s the best part about gardening? Getting down and dirty with your hoes!"
"Haha! Hiccup, how´s a girlfriend like a laxative? They both irritate the shit out of you!"
"Whoa, Fishlegs! Gimme more!" Snotlout snarled appreciatively.
"How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the jaw!" Fishlegs glanced at Tuff, who didn´t give a heck. "What´s the difference between oral and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak!"
Snotlout sure wasn´t shy, but now he blushed all over the face.
"That´s disgusting, Fishlegs!" Tuffnut roared and kept laughing like a lunatic.
"Yeah, disgusting!" Snotlout muttered quietly and gave Tuff an inconspicuous look.
"You know what I found out? If you drink a gulp of water after beer you´re not that hungover the next day. It´s all about hydration!" Tuff claimed.
"Very interesting, doctor Thorston. And what about the thesis to eat fatty before the binge?" Fishlegs asked.
"A qood question, dear colleage! There´s nothing true about it. The difference is in the taste of your vomit in case you have to throw up!"
"Ugh, gross!" Hiccup shook his head and took a big gulp of beer.
He was at a point, when his mood threatened to change.
So he laid back as Ruff had and closed his eyes for a moment.
"I also found out that you shall never, never ever go pee after the first beer. Then you can stay at the privy as well. By the way – that´s a thing I forgot in my gorgeous planning."
"Just go up the hillside!" Snotlout snorted.
Tuff tried to get on his feet. As he stood shakily, he tried to take one step at a time.
"Look guys, I can walk almost straight!" he giggled.
Fishlegs, who wasn´t that familiar with drinking beer (so he didn´t drink that much that night – only enough to feel quite funny) asked: "If you know that you rather shouldn´t go peeing after the first beer, why do you do so now?"
Tuff glared at him. Then he turned to the side and presented his swollen belly, which clearly emerged under his tunic. "I had about five."
"Wow, Tuffnut! Are you pregnant? Is there a little Beernut inside you kicking your guts?"
"Yeah, and now I´m in labor!"
Tuff slowly made his way into the undergrowth.
The friends heard a sharp hiss as he began to relieve himself, then a throaty moan.
"Wooohooo, chop down the wood! Snotlout cheered.
Ruffnut sat up and rolled her eyes. "That´s Tuffnut´s thing. Hey, no one can ever keep up with you! I´ll carve a medal for you for world´s best holding skills!" and to the others Ruff muttered: "When you´re afraid of the dark and don´t dare to leave for the toilet you have to train to hold it until the next morning!"
"Too much information, Ruff!" Hiccup groaned.
Footsteps were approaching.
"Tuff, we´re having visitors, soon. You´re done?" Fishlegs asked.
"Nope, not yet."
A trickle flowed slowly down the dry slope, before the ground could absorb the fluid.
Astrid arrived. "Hey guys, are you having fun?"
Snotlout chuckled frantically.
"I see. Heather and me won´t come anymore, we´re too tired and we want to sleep over at my hut. Sorry! Hiccup, what are you trying to do?" she asked quite annoyed, as Hiccup tried to shove her away.
"You should just step aside, honey!" he said, looking down to her right boot, where the trickle started to form a puddle.
Snotlout kept on laughing so hard, that he fell off his trunk!
"Wait, what is it? Is that...? This is... uuugggghhhh!" Astrid yelled.
"My tummy, oh my tummy hurts!" Snotlout grunted and held his belly. "Can´t breathe!"
Fishlegs laughed, too and even Hiccup couldn´t suppress a giggle.
Astrid shook her boot and went over to Ruffnut.
"Is that Tuff?" she asked. "Guilty!" he shouted from behind, from where he made his way back to the campfire several moments later.
"Hey Astrid, good to have you here! Did I ever mention you´re the most beautiful warrior around?" Tuff said and took Astrid´s hand to kiss it.
Hiccup stood up and felt kind uncomfortable.
"Thank you, Tuffnut? Um, are you drunk?" Astrid said askingly.
"That´s pretty much it! Yep. You are very sharp minded. Hiccup can be very glad to call you his girlfriend!"
"Again, thank you. Is that your hand, you used...?" Astrid wanted to know, staring down on Tuff´s hand still holding hers.
He frowned, let go off Astrid´s hand and looked from his right to his left hand and tried. "Oopsie!" he said and smiled slightly embarrassed. "You would never have believed to ever get that close to me, would you?" he snickered and wiggled his brows.
Hiccup couldn´t help laughing as he saw Astrid´s expression on her face.
The nicest description oscillated between disbelief and pure disgust.
She rubbed her hand over her skirt and pursed her lips.
"Well, see you tomorrow guys. Hiccup." She gave him a kiss on his mouth and patted his cheek.
"Wait, is that your hand...?" Hiccup asked and swallowed.
"Let´s just say, now you had Tuff´s dick in your face! Bye!" Astrid turned to Ruff, who sat against the trunk, nearly passed out, while Snotlout seemed to go nuts about the situation, laughing screechingly while rolling on the floor.
"Come on girl, we´ll go for a walk. Let´s give the boys alone time doing such mature things as telling fart jokes and compare their appendages." Astrid said and pulled Ruff on her feet.
"I don´t want to show nothing to no one!" Fishlegs protested.
Snotlout sta on his trunk again, sobbing because of the laughter.
"Ruff, you´ll have to stay, who else shall help me out of my boots later?" Tuffnut asked.
Astrid shoved him away from his sister, so that he fell into Fishlegs´ lap.
"That´s the answer! Fishlegs, take care of me, I´m too drunk to get up again. Just put your hands off my butt and everything is fine." Tuff curled up and leaned against Fishleg´s chest.
That was not the first time he slept that near to the cozy bearlike boy. It gave him confidence and he felt safe. Tuff never would admit, but he still could not sleep alone. Even drunk.
Snotlout tried to fight down his jealousy. His heart pumped angrily against his ribs.
Silly Fishlegs, why couldn´t it been him, Snotty, Tuffnut had fallen upon?
"I´ll get myself another drink! Anyone else?" he asked.
"Ask me later!" Tuffnut said, waving his right arm. Then he softly laid his hand on Fishlegs´mouth. "But now: shhhhh!"
"Take your dick hand off my face!" Fishlegs scolded.
"Sorry!" Tuff mumbled and fell asleep.
Snotlout thought: "If it was my face, Tuff would touch like that, I would nuzzle my nose into his palm, smelling his musky odor, softly kiss his fingers."
He sighed.
"Too bad, it´s not Snotlout´s lap I fell onto. But he would surely have pushed me away." was Tuffnut´s last thought.
Tuff was afraid of rejection. But so was Snotlout.
And Fishlegs had to figure out how to move now, when he wanted to avoid Tuff falling off. He was the third who wished, Tuff would have fallen onto Snotlout. Or somewhere else, at least.