The Long Road

I could make it better

I could hold you tighter

On that long road

Oh, you're the light

"Make It Right" by BTS

Chapter 1:

Peter Kavinsky was not a stalker. Really. It was just a series of coincidences that led him up to this point where he was standing outside a bar, only a few moments away from seeing Lara Jean Song-Covey again after so many years.

Neither of them wanted to really break up when they were in college. But by the end of sophomore year, it was so clear that the distance had won. He had never stopped loving her though. In the weeks following the break up, he tried so hard to hate her, to unfollow her on Instagram, to delete her presence from his life. But, he couldn't. This wasn't her fault and this wasn't his. They had desperately tried to make it work but it just wasn't possible, not with so many miles separating them.

At first, he checked up on her daily, then weekly, and now years later, it's only every so often. So, when he saw that she moved to Boston for her PhD program in English Literature, he allowed himself to the 'like' the post. He debated for 20 minutes afterwards if he should unlike it. After all, how weird was that? Liking a post of hers when they broke up two years ago. He didn't unlike it though. He was proud of her. She was one of the most brilliant people he knew when they were in high school and he always knew that she could do it.

In retrospect, their break up made sense. It allowed her to freely go up to Boston without guilt and for him to accept the offer at Bain & Company in their DC office. Management consulting was never a profession that he would've saw himself go into when he was in high school but it played to all his strongest skills. He was a hard-worker, okay with the long hours. He was a people person and knew how to develop and nurture relationships. After graduation from UVA, he threw himself into his work, striving for the next step, that next promotion. It quickly came and two years later, he found himself as full Consultant, managing a team of Associates in the Boston office.

He had moved up to the city about two months ago. After the initial adjustment period, he had found himself liking it. It wasn't as big as DC, not as sprawling, but it was filled with cobblestone streets and beautiful brownstone houses. He could see how Lara Jean ended up here. It was the perfect city for her – right out of her idyllic storybook fantasies.

When he first heard that he was transferring to the Boston office, he thought about messaging her. He had typed out the message a hundred times before quickly hitting the back space button, chickening out. In the end, he settled for an Instagram post announcing the good news and left it at that. It was two days later when she finally liked it.

He had never planned to go out that Saturday night. He had just wrapped up a three-week long project in Minneapolis and had been traveling entirely too much for his liking. He was on his couch, beer in hand, half watching ESPN, half falling asleep when he got the text from Gabe.

"Yo – can we go get drunk tonight? This week was brutal."

Peter chuckled. Gabe was one of his best friends from school and had moved up to Boston after college as well.

He quickly typed an affirmative response and then mindlessly began to scroll through Instagram. His eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw the post.

"TWENTY-SIX, BITCHES. Officially closer to 30 than 20. Come one, come all to Middlesex tonight. 9PM."

It was Chris. It was her birthday party tonight.

He pulled up his messages, texting Gabe.

"Middlesex? 9:30PM?"

"Yeah. See you there."

This series of happy coincidences led him to this point where he was standing in front of a bar, quietly calming down his nerves. He pushed his hands into his pocket. It was mid-May in Boston but he could still feel the chill from the last bits of winter. It never seemed to want to go away. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Gabe bounding down the sidewalk, almost giddily.

"Dude, thanks for coming out tonight, man."

"Yeah, no worries."

"So, why Middlesex? I know you don't usually hop the river over to this side."

Peter looked at him guiltily. "Actually, it's Chris's birthday."

"Excuse me, you mean Chris from back home?"

"Yeah, I saw on her Instagram that she was having a party here tonight."

"Dude, I forgot she was here too but we all know that is not the real reason why you are here. Is Largie coming?"

Peter sucked a breath in and shrugged. He hadn't heard that nickname in years and he tried to ignore the pang in his chest. "I don't know. I'm assuming yes."

Gabe looked at him knowingly before his face broke out into a huge grin. "YA BOI!" He slapped Peter on the back. "It'll be a big reunion."

The bar was dark and smoky. They walked up the steps and could hear the pounding of the bass get louder and louder. There was a large screen on one end playing old kung fu movies. This was definitely Chris's scene. The air was heavy, the music loud. The bar was crowded but Peter noticed a black, wide rimmed hat and then blonde hair. He quickly navigated his way, tapping her on the shoulder.

"Happy Birthday, Chris!"

"PK? And Gabe?" Her voice was a few decibels above the noise of the bar. She smiled widely and threw her arms around him, giving him a tight hug, and then moved onto Gabe. "Welcome to the madness."

Gabe and Chris quickly launched into a lengthy and detailed conversation of what they had been both up to for the last few years while Peter listened idly. He looked around the bar but couldn't spot that familiar face.

"She's coming at 10."

Peter looked down at Chris, startled. "What?"

"Lara Jean." Chris said obviously, continuing to smile. "She'll be here at 10. She needed to finish grading some papers before she could come out."

"She's teaching?"

"Yeah, and she's ridiculously good at it. All her students love her. It's disgusting but very typical LJ." Chris spoke with no malice, in a teasing tone.

Peter continued to catch up with Gabe and Chris, leaning his back against the bar, his eyes never leaving the staircase as he waited for her inevitable arrival.

Lara Jean was exhausted. It had been a long week and by the time she had finished grading her last paper and inputting the scores, her eyes were seeing double. It was 9:30PM by the time she was done and she quickly threw an outfit on, applying some light makeup and ran out the door. She was just hopping on the bus when her phone started buzzing non-stop.

"PK IS HERE. And Gabe, but that's neither here nor there."

Lara Jean's eyes widened. She knew that he had moved out here a few months ago but she never thought that she would see him so soon.

"Did you invite him?!"

"Well, technically I invited all of Instagram but not specifically, no. He must've seen my post."

Lara Jean closed her eyes tightly and let out a sigh. Well, now she wished she had put on a different outfit. How long had it been since had last seen him? 5 or 6 years ago? It was weird how time seemed to have blurred and sped up since that time. They had gone from speaking daily to nothing. She had wanted to text or call him a few times but knew that it would only prolong the hurt. So, she was good. She didn't look at his social media. She tried to forget about him. It was Chris that first told her that he was moving here. She remembered her disbelieving look, opening up Instagram immediately on her phone before snorting in surprise. After all these years, they would finally be in the same city. She liked the post but stopped there. Should she DM him? Should they try to talk again?

No.

It wasn't like she time for boys right now, she told herself. Her graduate program kept her ridiculously busy between classes, teaching, and working part-time at the bakery. She would leave this one up to fate. Boston was a big enough city that she felt comfortable knowing that she wouldn't run into him, at least not immediately. Especially since they were separated by a river, her in Cambridge, and him in Boston.

Clearly, fate had other plans.

She hopped off the bus, the wind whipping her hair around. She grumbled, trying to fix it as she ascended the stairs.

The bar was so crowded and warm. She quickly slinked her jacket off. It was times like these that she wished she were at least a foot taller. She could barely see over the crowd, trying her best to locate Chris.

She did not expect to see Peter Kavinsky, standing in front of her, having pushed through the crowds to get to her. But there he was, towering above her wearing a nice blue button-down shirt and grey slacks. His hair was a little shorter than she remembered but he still had that same goofy smile.

"Hi."

His voice was deep and gruff as if he hadn't spoken at all that night.

She smiled at him and hugged him, smelling his woody cologne.

"Hi Peter."