I might have given up, lost at sea

But my heart's still on fire with a burning desire

I'll find you again like fate

"Heartbeat" by BTS

Chapter 3

Lucas was cradling his iced americano with an extra shot when Lara Jean walked into the café.

"LJ!"

"Lucas!"

Lucas got up and wrapped his arms around Lara Jean, squeezing her tightly. Chris sat next to him and swatted at them with one hand, the other massaging her temple.

"Can we not be so loud please?" She was wearing sunglasses and Lara Jean could still see the remnants of last night's party in her hair and smeared makeup.

"Fun night?" Lucas teased and then snorted. "You need to change your mood, stat, lovey. I did not catch the 5AM train up here this morning for this." He gestured towards her general direction.

"I am so hungover and would appreciate a little more compassion." Chris whined.

"Too many shots?" Lara Jean asked smiling.

"Tequila is not my lady." She mumbled.

Lara Jean rolled her eyes and turned towards Lucas. "How was your ride in? Not too bad, I hope?"

He shrugged. "It wasn't bad. I slept for most of it." The train ride from New York was only a few hours. Lucas had moved there soon after college to pursue his dream of being a dance choreographer. He was always busy with a show which was good but that also meant that most weeks, his Fridays and Saturdays were eaten up by performances. He had to miss Chris's birthday party last night for the opening of a new show. But he made it up to her by getting on a train at an ungodly hour.

Lara Jean and Lucas started chattering away, catching each other up on what had happened in the last few weeks. When Chris first moved back to the east coast a year ago, it gave them a great excuse to see each other more often. Chris was like the glue between them. Even if she was currently groaning about how there was too many windows in the café, causing the beaming sun to pour through. They had made a pact – once a month, they would trek up or down the eastern seaboard to stay a night, for the weekend, or a few days and of course, get boozy brunch. So every other month, she and Chris hopped on the megabus and went down to visit Lucas.

The service at the café was fast. It was one of the reasons why this place was their favorite. Cheap, fast, and tasty.

Lara Jean had a mouthful of eggs in her mouth when Chris finally seemed to wake up. She waggled her eyebrows. "Lara Jean." She said in a sing song tone. "You forgot to mention the best part from last night."

Lara Jean's eyes got wide and she swallowed hard, her throat suddenly dry. She shook her head, denying it. "It wasn't-"

"Peter Kavinsky and Gabe Rivera showed up at my party last night."

"GTFO!" Lucas's mouth was round in an o-shape.

"Did you just say GTFO?" Chris snorted.

"Shut up! Not important. I forgot he moved up here! Tell me everything. Now, Lara Jean."

Lara Jean tried her best to keep her tone neutral as she recounted her night. Seeing Peter in the bar, talking to him for hours, and then getting some food. "And then he walked me home." She finished.

"And?" Lucas asked expectantly, his hands literally outreached, grabbing at the air.

"What do you mean and?" She asked. "And then I went home and went to sleep."

"Wow." His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "So, you're telling me after all these years, Mr. He Was My First and True Love walks back into your life and all you did was eat some grilled cheese together?"

"You're really making me sound like a lame butt." Lara Jean complained.

Chris laughed and interjected before Lucas could retort. "Because you are! Get it, girl. Kavinsky had only eyes for you last night. Me and Gabe kept commenting on it all night. You are still the center of his world."

Lara Jean flushed and tried to protest. "We're just friends. It's been years and I don't know him anymore. I need to get to know him better before we decide on anything." She tipped her head to the side, thoughtfully. "Also, I'm ridiculously busy and so is he with traveling for all these projects he's on. We probably won't even see each other."

"Aren't you hanging out with him later?" Chris asked.

Lucas and Chris both turned in her direction, their gazes piercing.

"Yes." She conceded.

They both threw their heads back laughing while continuing to tease her for the rest of their meal. They were about to finish up and pay when he walked in.

John Ambrose McClaren.

Chris nudged Lara Jean. "Isn't that your hot classmate?"

Lara Jean looked over and waved, catching his eye. He smiled dazzlingly and waved back before he and his friends headed in the other direction to be seated.

"Yes." Lara Jean kept it short, trying not to comment to his attractiveness because if she had to admit it, yes, he was very good looking.

"I still can't believe this guy studies 19th century British poetry and is that hot." Lucas said. "You really think he'd be playing for my team." Lucas sighed wistfully, finishing the last bit of his coffee.

It was only a little bit after 11AM when they finished up brunch. Lucas had dragged Chris downtown to do a bit of shopping and boy watching, leaving Lara Jean to her studies. They all knew that Sundays were her classwork days. Lara Jean sat on the grass, the blades rubbing up against her bare legs. She was wearing shorts and a flowy long sleeved shirt, digging her bare feet into the grass. She had missed this.

She toyed with her phone, biting her lip, debating how she should phrase this message to the group chat with Margot and Kitty. Margot had moved to Edinburgh and Kitty was still in college at Georgetown. She missed her sisters. They didn't see each other as often as she'd like – usually only twice a year for Daddy's birthday and the winter holidays. It was hard sometimes.

On days like today though, she was grateful for the distance. She would text them, expect her phone to blow up non-stop with a barrage of inquiring messages, and then she would leave it. She could ignore their prying questions much easier.

Lara Jean: "I saw Peter last night. He came to Chris's birthday party. We chatted for a bit."

Lara Jean immediately put down her phone, telling herself she was going to ignore the rest of the messages. Her phone started buzzing violently, nearly bouncing up off the grass. She snatched it back up.

Kitty: "I KNEW IT."

Margot: "What?! Peter Kavinsky?"

Kitty: "I bet he moved to Boston for you."

Margot: "He's in Boston?"

Kitty: "Yeah, he moved there like two months ago. He switched offices and clearly, it was FOR LARA JEAN."

Kitty: "I told him he was a butthead for not reaching out to you immediately when he found out."

Lara Jean sighed and typed back a response.

Lara Jean: "I didn't realize you guys still talked."

Kitty: "We did live in the same city."

Kitty: "So did he kiss you?!"

Lara Jean rolled her eyes.

Lara Jean: "No, we're just friends. Purely platonic."

Margot: "I think that's a good idea. It's been such a long time since you guys last saw each other."

Kitty: "That's a terrible idea. Why didn't you kiss him? Why didn't he kiss you?"

Lara Jean: "Okay, I need to study. BYE."

And with that, she muted the group chat and went back to her studying.

Lara Jean had nearly finished her second reading assignment when Peter arrived. He towered over her, casting long shadows on the ground. She pushed her sunglasses off her face and smiled, patting the grass next to her, inviting him to sit down.

"You made it!"

"Yeah, I'm so sorry I'm late." He had always been self-conscious about his promptness ever since Lara Jean brought it up with him all those years ago. "I had to pop by the office and got sucked in. It's what I get for going in on a Sunday."

"I thought you didn't have to work weekends." Her tone was light and her eyes glimmered, teasing.

"I usually don't! But, I just got put on another project and wanted to get myself situated. At least it's local this time." He sat down next to her and pushed a bag in her direction. "I brought bagels."

"Oh my god, yes, thank you! I'm actually starving."

"Didn't you get brunch with Chris and Lucas earlier?"

"That was like 2 hours ago!" She protested. "I basically didn't eat lunch." She was already digging in, taking out the sesame bagel and happily spreading a generous portion of veggie cream cheese on one half.

"So, how's Lucas? I haven't seen him in years."

"He's good! He's a dance choreographer in New York and he just debuted a new show." She paused for dramatic effect. "ON BROADWAY. It was a smashing success from what I heard!"

"Wow, that's awesome. That profession makes total sense. Also, that probably means he's the most successful out of our graduating class. He's basically famous."

"Totally famous. I hope he doesn't forget us little people but yeah, I know, he was born for New York."

They were both quiet for a few moments before he asked, "You ever thought you'd leave Virginia, Covey?"

"Not really." She answered honestly. "I always planned to go to UVA so I could stay close to Daddy and Kitty. I was even planning on living at home for a bit at least but well, you remember how those plans unfolded." She shrugged gently. "I think it all worked out. I'm still on the same coast and Kitty is close to home. Plus, I have my own life to live now."

He nodded and smiled fondly. She was just as he remembered her. It was so easy to fall right back into their old habits, seemingly as if no time had passed at all. She handed him half of the bagel, having spread his cream cheese exactly how he liked it. Without a word, he grabbed it and started eating, lost in his thoughts.

They fell into a comfortable silence as Lara Jean resumed her reading. Peter leaned back against the grass, book in hand. He snuck glances at her every so often, peering above the pages. God, she was so beautiful. The sunlight brought out the light tints of brown and red in her long black hair. She was concentrating hard, brow furrowed, biting her lip every so often. It took a concerted effort not to sit up, push her book away, and bite that lip for her.

Stop. He needed to stop.

An hour had passed before he finally spoke up. "Covey, I'm getting thirsty. Break time?"

Her eyes refocused on him, pulling her back from her daze of reading. "Oh right! Probably time for a break." She closed her book with a light thud and shoved it into her tote bag. She started gathering her things. "Want to come up to my place for a bit? We can get some snacks too."

He had to tamp down the sudden rush of nerves at the prospect of going to her apartment. It was fine. This was a completely normal thing that friends did.

"Yeah, that'd be great."

He was going to be fine. They were just friends and absolutely nothing was going to happen. Really.