Harold walked into class, biting his lip and fighting tears as he stuffed his backpack - minus his lunch - into his cubbyhole. Trudging over to the class tables, he slumped into his spot, causing Melvin to look up from the book he had been reading.
"Hello, Harold" he greeted formally.
"Hi" he replied in a watery voice, not feeling up to saying any more.
Melvin regarded him for a longer moment, and marked his page and set his book to the side. As sympathetically as he could, Melvin surmised, "I would take this to mean another run in with Kipper Krupp".
Still not wanting to talk, Harold simply nodded and went back to staring at the table despairingly. Melvin fidgeted in his seat. Emotional support was...not something he was good at. That was usually Harold. Instead he just got mad at the thought of a waste of genetic material like Kipper Krupp making his usually cheerful friend such a mess. "That shallow end of the gene pool" raged Melvin on Harold's behalf, "You would think that natural selection would have dealt with imbeciles like him, instead of leaving him to torment his intellectual superiors".
Harold blinked slowly at the rant, but managed a wane smile, "I don't get any of that. But thanks, Melvin".
"You're welcome" he replied awkwardly, though he was still internally fuming at the poor behavior of Kipper Krupp. He hated people like him, who ruined the system and upset the balance of the school. Not to mention that he had made Harold walk into class crying on multiple occasions. "Something should be done about that neanderthal" he huffed, "We should tell on him to the teachers".
While he was glad to have Melvin's support, Harold shook his head defeatedly. "I already tried that. Mr Krupp won't do anything about it. He doesn't believe me".
"But he's the principal!" gasped Melvin, his faith in the system shaken, "He's supposed to punish trouble makers like Kipper"
Harold could only shrug, and plant his face onto the table. He only hoped that he would survive the year. Kipper was in 6th grade, so he would be leaving at the end of the school year. He just had to make it that long. Sure, he'd be in a lot of pain, and he'd have to go without lunch for a while, but it'd get better eventually. It wasn't like there was anything he could do about it anyway…
Thinking over the problem now that his usual plan A was apparently no use, Melvin suggested, "I manage to avoid Kipper by coming to school early. Perhaps you could do the same?"
Harold groaned aloud at the thought of waking up for school any earlier, but considered that it might be worth it if it really did spare him from being attacked by Kipper Krupp. "Maybe" he replied, though he didn't sound very confident, "But I'm not too good at waking up early".
"I am, though" noted Melvin, slowly getting an idea. He knew that, logically speaking, it would work, but hesitated to suggest it. Would Harold be ok with it? Was he ok with it? "I could help you," he decided to say. "I'm always up early anyway. I could stop by your house in the morning and we could go to school together, an hour before it starts. That should prevent any further interactions with Kipper and his lowbrow lackies".
"That… sounds like a good plan" agreed Harold, "except for the waking up early part" he grumbled.
So that was what they started doing. Every morning, Melvin would wake up two hours before school, and stop by Harold's house on his way to make sure he got there early, too. The walks were mainly quiet, since Harold was still too asleep for anything even resembling communication and starting conversations had never been Melvin's strength. But the plan worked. Harold was tired, but it was worth it, since he managed to avoid the pain of Kipper Krupp and his posse.
At least, it worked until day 9.
The two of them were just approaching the building an hour before school started, as usual. Melvin was studying for the day's spelling test while he walked, and Harold slumped behind him, yawning. Before they could get through the doors, though, they were stopped short by a regrettably familiar group of boys.
Kipper stood blocking the doors, framed by the incredibly tired looking force of Bugg, Loogie, and Finkstein, who were varying between trying to look threatening and trying not to fall asleep.
"So, you kids think you can get out of your taxes by sneaking in early, huh?" said the bully with an evil grin.
Both of the kindergartners got a cold chill down their backs, and Harold was now completely awake. Melvin looked between the hoard of bullies, the door, and his watch, unable to figure out how this had gone wrong, his panic levels rising. Kipper had never bothered being here this early before, and he hadn't thought the bully was intelligent enough to notice the change in schedule. By all logic this plan should have kept them in the clear.
"N-no" stammered Harold, keeping his head down and trying not to antagonize the 6th grader any further, "We're not. We just..like coming to school early".
"Yes" confirmed Melvin, frantically nodding his head to try and appease the larger, violent, boys, "We are simply both going to school early because we are friends and we like school". Not up to his usual standard of diction, but he could barely be heard through his chattering teeth anyway.
"Aw, that's so sweet" mocked Kipper in a fake saccharine tone, as he and his goons loomed in closer to the small boys, "And since you're such good friends, you can pay together too"
"Guys, get 'em" Melvin and Harold both covered their eyes, as if that would do something to stop the taller boys from grabbing them by their underwears, snatching their backpacks, and stealing or breaking most of the contents in them.
Laughing maniacally, eventually the four bullies dropped the kindergartners to the ground, taking their ill gotten gains with them into the school.
Harold lay on the ground, sniffling back tears, before he picked himself up, and attempted to gather his things back together. "Thanks for trying, Melvin. But there's no getting away from those guys".
Melvin didn't reply, and Harold worriedly looked back at him, concerned that he had gotten more hurt than he had thought. Melvin didn't look any more beat up than he was, but it was his friend's expression that caused him a different kind of concern. Melvin was glaring at the double doors to the school, his mouth pulled into an intense scowl and his expression growing stormier by the second.
"They're going to regret that" he vowed, "No one makes a fool of Melvin Sneedly (or his friend) and gets away with it".
Harold stared at Melvin as he angrily picked himself up and retrieved his things, his eyes intently focused on something that was only in his head. "Melvin" he carefully prodded as they both walked into the school building. Melvin didn't react to him, too involved in his own thoughts. "Melvin" Harold said again, a little more forcefully.
"Hmm? What, Harold?" he asked, pulling out of his own thoughts long enough to acknowledge Harold.
Harold drew a blank for a moment. What did he even want to ask? Why are you acting so weird all of the sudden didn't sound exactly right, so he eventually asked instead,"What are you planning?"
"Nothing too concrete at the moment" he replied, lapsing back into his focused stare into the distance, "I'm considering a robot of some fashion. Something that Kipper and his moronic henchman would truly fear".
Though Harold couldn't say he felt entirely comfortable with the spite in Melvin's tone, he did think that a robot to terrify those awful bullies sounded pretty great, "I'd like to build a robot that could give them all wedgies" he muttered angrily, "It'd have, like, multiple arms, and underwear tracking vision" He could see the drawing of the robot in his head, and his fingers itched to get the sketch down onto paper.
"Yes" agreed Melvin, considering the idea, picturing the design for such a device. "A twin titanium engine, extendo-matic arms, x-ray vision, it's all perfectly achievable". The second they got to their seats, Melvin pulled out a clean blueprint and started writing specs and measurements on it. Harold got out his printer paper, and started drawing his own version (with the added doodle of Kipper&co running away and crying like little babies). Melvin glanced over at Harold's take, occasionally nodding to himself and making an alteration to the design. By the time class started, the two had created a plan for getting back at their bullies. Looking over their work, Melvin nodded in satisfaction, saying, "This shouldn't take more than a day to build. Now all it needs is a name".
"How 'bout 'Wedgie-Tron'?" supplied Harold.
Melvin thought it over, nodded, and wrote at the bottom of the paper, "the Wedgie-Tron 2000".
True to his word, when Melvin showed up at Harold's door the next morning, he had a large something with him, covered with a sheet.
"Hello, Harold" he greeted.
Harold stared at the thing under the sheet with intrigue and some fear, asking his bespectacled bestie, "Is that what I think it is?"
"If you're thinking it's the Wedgie-Tron 2000, then yes" he replied as he started to tug the invention behind him as he turned towards the school, "Come, Harold. It's time we showed this to Kipper and his friends".
"But, Melvin" questioned Harold as he walked alongside the inventor and his invention, "Aren't you worried about getting into trouble? I'm pretty sure using giant robots on other kids is against the rules".
"One would think" agreed Melvin with a serious look, "But, I checked the rules. All 10,000 of them. There is nothing that states that bringing wedgie-based robotics is against school policy."
"But attacking other students is" worried Harold.
"True" allowed Melvin, "But I won't have to do a thing. The Wedgie-Tron 2000 is equipped with an automatic scan and attack protocol. I simply place it just outside of school grounds - which is perfectly allowed since it is not school property- and if it happens to go after four dimwitted delinquents who happen to be standing outside the doors for some reason, no one will be the wiser".
"Sounds complicated" commented Harold, "But I trust you".
"And Kipper deserves this, anyway" added Harold. "He's a real jerk".
"Precisely and succinctly put" agreed Melvin, but Harold just stared at him. Melvin simplified, "I agree".
The Wedgie-Tron 2000, when Melvin unveiled it just outside of school grounds, was a sight to behold. Set atop a wheeled base, it was a tower of metal with a fountain of tubed arms sprouting from it, each one capped with threatening looking claw hands. Peeking at the entrance of the school from their hilltop outpost, Melvin confirmed that the targets were in place. Predictably enough for someone as dumb as Kipper, they were all standing around outside the school, clearly waiting for him and Harold to show so that they could torment them further.
Little do they know thought Melvin with a vengeful grin, as he turned the invention on, put in a few boundaries on the keypad on its side, and sat back to watch their creation work.
Despite its size and ungainly looking form, the Wedgie-Tron 2000 moved with surprising speed down the hill, the top of it scanning for targets while the arms whipped around- prepared to cause some humiliating hurt. When Kippper&Co caught sight of the metal monstrosity, they all jumped. The three followers looked at it nervously, edging back towards the school, but Melvin and Harold could see Kipper yell at them, and then turn to yell at the robot.
"What a fool" remarked Melvin, as Kipper realized that his yelling was doing nothing and tried to flee. But it was too late. The Wedgie-Tron 2000 had found its targets, and immediately its arms converged onto the group of 6th graders. They tried to dodge, but its underwear tracking vision was too accurate. True to its name, it simultaneously wedgied the four bullies, hoisting them up into the air with its unfailing metallic arms.
Atop the hill, Harold couldn't help but feel relieved as he watched Kipper and his gang get tears in their eyes, flailing midair and crying to be put down.
"Now for the final touch" said Melvin dramatically, pulling a remote from his backpack.
Typing a brief message into the keypad, and theatrically pushing a large red button on the top, Harold watched, confused, as Kipper got a panicked look and nodded frantically. He looked back to Melvin and saw that he had a very confident looking smile as he keyed in some more commands into the remote.
"What did that do?" asked Harold, when he couldn't handle the suspense any further.
"The Wedgie-Tron 2000 merely delivered a message" replied Melvin smugly, "It informed Kipper Krupp that it can and will come again if he doesn't improve his bad behavior. I think Kipper is inclined to listen to it, don't you?"
Watching as the four bullies were thrown down to the ground, and went crying into the building, Harold couldn't help but agree. The Wedgie-Tron 2000 idled for a moment, before making a 180 turn and wheeling away from the school.
"Where's it going" wondered Harold aloud.
"Back to my house. It's done its job, so now I'm recalling it. Though, rest assured, we can summon it again should Kipper need more...persuasion". Even though he agreed with the idea, there was something about Melvin's tone that he didn't like. Looking to his friend, who was making a last few inputs on the remote, Harold noticed that he still had that smile. But it wasn't his usual smile, this was a mean smile. It almost looked like..."Melvin," he decided to say as Melvin was placing the remote back into his bag, "that was cool, but you're scaring me".
"What do you mean, Harold?" questioned the scientist, putting his backpack back on and turning towards Harold with a non-comprehending look. Harold almost sighed in relief to have his normal friend back.
"I mean...I dunno. The way you're talking. It sounds like bully talk" he explained with concern.
"Oh?" replied Melvin, looking surprised at the suggestion, but then pausing further to consider what Harold had said, "Well, I didn't mean to upset you. I just wanted us to be able to get back at Kipper".
"I get it" said Harold understandingly, relieved that Melvin was back to acting more like he knew him instead of that intense...whatever that was, "I did, too. Just maybe don't be so crazy about it".
"Er, right" said Melvin as they walked down the path to the school, his ears burning slightly as he reflected on his prior behavior, "I just get carried away sometimes, I suppose".
"'S alright" comforted Harold as they pushed open the doors. The school quiet in the early morning hours, the two friends made their way to their classroom. Just as Harold opened the door, the two could hear Mr Krupp bellow, "A ROBOT?! That's a load of BUNK, Kipper!"
He couldn't help but giggle at that, and Melvin grinned in satisfaction, and the two went to their class. They both got the feeling they'd be seeing a lot less of Kipper Krupp.
Ok, so that was the last thing I had written from this. This was a fun angle to do for Movie|Melvin, because even though he doesn't really show it in canon, I would assume he still has his vengeful streak. I mean, he's a Melvin, petty vengeance is just a part of who they are. It was also fun kind of fleshing out how their friendship would work in this AU, just kinda playing around with the dynamic.
I don't really plan on doing more with this, like I said I just kind of randomly wrote these down. But, hey, who knows with the way my brain works.
Hope you enjoyed! Leave reviews if you could be so kind, thanks for reading.