Chapter 4

The weeks passed and Draco became used to living at Grimmauld. He had never been a particularly social creature and he had tolerated his housemates because he had had to. Bill had started his new job, with a newly renegotiated contract, and was around a lot less. Grimmauld was still his base, and he popped back every now and again, but he was away more often that he was there. Draco couldn't deny that he missed him.

Unexpectedly, Potter stepped in to fill the breech. The boy began turning up every Saturday afternoon for a couple of hours. He seemed to have no purpose other than to simply hang around, and Draco didn't question it. He would often bring revision with him or reading that Snape had set him for their training sessions. Potter didn't say much about those sessions, but Draco gleaned that they were intense and difficult.

He was also aware that Potter's feelings towards Snape had changed. He no longer held the animosity towards him he had once done, although Draco was willing to bet that Potter wasn't entirely sure what he feelings now were. Draco, on the other hand, thought he knew exactly what was going on in Potter's mind. The boy was entirely too easy to read.

He found Potter's company not entirely unbearable. Potter had changed a lot over the years, as he himself had done. They were no longer children, and they had both realised that, now they were on the same team, there was no point in harbouring the petty differences of the past. He was also aware, although he had no intention to acknowledge it, that Potter could have made things very difficult for him if he'd wanted to.

The summer rolled around and with it came his birthday. It was a Friday and he was hoping Bill might put in an appearance as it was the weekend. There was no sign of him by the evening though and Draco disappointedly realised that the man must be working. He supposed it didn't matter; he wasn't particularly fussed about his birthday anyway.

At the manor, birthdays had always been terribly stuffy affairs. There had been a formal dinner, usually attended by his father's business associates…or worse. Presents had always been showy, ostentatious things, things that bore no reflection of the person's interests or anything they might truly like. Still, it was the first time his birthday had gone by with nothing to mark the occasion.

He was considering calling time on his revision, going up and drowning his sorrows in a hot bath, when he heard the front door go. His hand went to his wand, despite the fact that he knew Grimmauld was about as secure as it got. With his father still around, he wasn't going to take any chances.

He stood up just as Potter entered the kitchen, a rucksack slung over the boy's shoulder. He pocketed his wand and said, "What are you doing here?"

"Um…I thought I might stay the night. I needed a break from…a bunch of things actually. I…was also thinking that you might like some company."

Again, Draco couldn't believe how transparent Potter was. It was a good thing that Voldemort's defeat didn't depend upon Potter's ability to lie. He raised an eyebrow and Potter gave a sheepish grin.

"Ok, so…I didn't want you spending your birthday alone," Potter said, chucking his rucksack down on the table.

"How do you know it's my birthday?" Draco asked, surprised and actually rather touched that Potter had been so considerate.

"Heard it on the grapevine," Potter said with a shrug. "Look, if you want me to piss off, just say so. I won't mind. I just…I just didn't like the thought of you celebrating alone."

"I haven't exactly done much celebrating," Draco said with a sigh, "but…thank you. I appreciate it."

Potter smiled at him, and it was such a sweet gesture that couldn't help but return it. Merlin help him, he like the four-eyed twerp.

"You know," Potter said, his smile turning mischievous, "there's a pub at the end of the street. It's pretty shady as pubs go but what do you say I buy you a birthday drink?"

The pub, as it turned out, was so very beyond shady. It boasted a cast of characters so grim that Draco wouldn't have been surprised if they were all murderers on the run from the law. He and Harry sequestered themselves in a little window seat, trying to ignore how sticky the table was and how terrible the place smelt.

Harry had been given a fake muggle ID by the twins, but no one asked them for any proof of age. Harry bought them both bottles of lager, a wise choice as Draco wouldn't have trusted anything that came through the pub's pipes.

"How are you here?" Draco asked. "I mean…you keep pulling these disappearing acts from Hogwarts, don't they mind?"

Harry sighed and said, "I sort of came to an agreement with Dumbledore. Actually…I kind of had a semi-psychotic rant about how I was sick of all the pressure from everyone and that I needed break. He agreed…eventually…that I could come and stay at Grimmauld whenever I needed a break from it."

"I'm willing to bet that trips to a dodgy pub weren't factored into that agreement," Draco said wryly.

"Well…no," Harry conceded, "but what he doesn't know won't kill him."

"So…these pressures, do you want to talk about them?" Draco asked, wondering when he had become capable of sympathy. Perhaps Bill was right; perhaps there was more to him than he realised.

"There's just…so much going on. I want to do well in my NEWTs but I constantly have the threat of Voldemort hanging over my head and that takes precedence over everything. Any spare moment I have is taken up with training and…with Snape I always feel like I never measure up. I just wish things were simpler."

"They will be…one day," Draco said, wishing he could think of something more comforting to say.

"It's just difficult, that's all. I know that I don't get a choice in all this, that it's down to me in the end, but…sometimes it's too much."

"I never really…I never really tried to see things from your perspective before," Draco said, picking at the label on his bottle. It was true; things had always seemed so rosy for Harry, but Draco was willing to admit that he'd been a tad blinkered in the past. There was nothing like a near-death experience to alter your view on things.

"Merlin, I'm being a selfish prat," Harry said, shaking his head. "This is your birthday and here I am moaning on about my problems. We should…we should focus on celebrating."

Draco gave a hollow laugh and said, "Yeah…shame I have no idea how to do that."

Harry bit his lip then said, "Me neither. Fuck, that's pathetic."

Draco looked at him for a moment, feeling thoroughly perturbed by the situation. He saw Harry's lip twitch first, then felt his own offer an answering twitch. He laughed first, then Harry joined in, and they continued until they began to draw looks from the less merry patrons.

"We're making a habit of this," Harry said as he took a couple of sips in between titters.

"I think it marks our descent into madness," Draco replied wryly.

"Let's get out of here, it's more depressing than Azkaban."

They bought the cheapest bottle of liquor from behind the bar and took it back to Grimmauld. It was still fairly warm out so they sat in the garden, such as it was, and passed the bottle back and forth to one another as they chatted.

Draco had always been allowed wine with dinner, indeed it had been expected, but he had very little experience with spirits. Whatever they were drinking was foul, but it had the desired effect. With each burn down his throat, Draco felt his brain get fuzzier, felt his senses begin to blur. Harry, too, seemed affected, and he became a lot more talkative as the night went on.

Harry regaled him with stories from the Golden Trio's anthology, which, he never would have believed if he hadn't known how incapable Harry was of lying. He had had a vague idea about what they had got up to over the years, but he had never imagined how much peril they had truly been in. Again, he was forced to see the past few years in a different light.

"A time turner?" he said, eyes wide. "You actually used a time turner?"

"Yeah," Harry replied, taking a swig from the bottle and flinching. "It was wild. Messing with the timeline like that…it can be deadly. We had to be so careful."

"And that was so they wouldn't get Black?" Draco asked as Harry handed him back the bottle.

Harry nodded, and, even though his eyes were a little unfocused, Draco could see the sadness there. He reached out and gave Harry's leg a nudge with his foot, saying, "I'm sorry. I know…I know that my aunt – "

"Let's not talk about it," Harry said with a sigh, leaning back on his hands. "We're celebrating, remember?"

"Right, celebrating," Draco repeated, taking a gulp and wincing at the hideous taste. He was going to regret this in the morning, he knew he was, but at that moment everything was softer and easier than it had been in a while.

"What about Truth or Dare?" Harry suggested.

"Fuck no," Draco said with a snort. "I'm a fully-fledged adult now, I don't play such childish games."

"You're just scared I'll make you do something embarrassing," Harry replied with a grin.

"Well obviously. Anyway, I know your game, Potter," Draco said, wagging a finger at him, "you just want to take advantage of a dare and get me to kiss you."

"No I don't!" Harry protested, turning red all the way up to the roots of his hair. "I'm not…I mean, I don't – "

"Cool your heals, Boy Wonder," Draco said with a laugh. "I was only joking."

"No…obviously," Harry said, flustered. "I just meant…"

"Harry," Draco said gently, wondering if the alcohol had taken the edge off his personality, "I was only teasing, but…you do know that…wanting to kiss another guy is perfectly normal, right?"

"Of course I know that," Harry replied, his cheeks still red. "Bill's gay and…a couple of the boys in Gryffindor. Of course I know it's ok."

"But…you're still wondering if it's ok for you?" Draco asked, knowing that he'd struck a nerve. A year ago he would have pressed the issue with glee. He would have delighted in making Harry squirm, in upsetting him, but now he found he just wanted to let Harry talk, to see if he could help.

"I'm The Boy Who Lived," Harry said with a heavy sigh.

"I don't see how that's relevant," Draco said with a frown.

Harry took a fortifying swig then said, "People have…certain expectations of me. Marry a nice girl, preferably with red hair and freckles, and trot out some nice little kiddies. A same-sex partner isn't meant to be on the cards."

Draco paused for a moment, his thoughts becoming cloudier with the alcohol. "Listen, Harry…if there's one thing I've learnt in the last few months it's that trying to live up to people's expectations is the stupidest thing you can do. It's the surest way to make yourself miserable, believe me."

"I get that," Harry said quietly. "It's just…it doesn't make it any easier."

Draco nodded and took another disgusting sip. "No offence, Harry, but I don't think anything in your life will ever be easy."

Harry gave a deeply inelegant snort and said, "Gee, you think?"

They both descended into giggles, and Draco realised that he could get used to the strange feeling of camaraderie. He had never had friends, not really, and, while he wouldn't exactly call Harry a friend, it felt good to have someone to talk to, to laugh with.

"Harry, you can go your whole life trying to please people, or you can do what makes you happy," he said as the giggles subsided. "It's ok if you're still figuring things out, we all are, but don't be someone you're not just to make other people happy."

"I guess that's a lesson we both need to learn, huh?" Harry asked with a lopsided smile.

Draco nodded emphatically, regretting the decision when his head began to spin. "Bollocks to the rest of the world, do what makes you happy."

Harry sniggered and said, "Oh Merlin, hearing you say 'bollocks' is truly brilliant. You sound just like Ron."

"Well there's no need to be insulting."

Harry smiled dopily and looked up at the night sky, his eyes unfocused behind the over-sized glasses. Draco could see that he seemed to be puzzling over something, and so he wasn't surprised when Harry turned to him and said, "You…didn't seem bothered about the idea of kissing me. Are you – "

"Wildly in love with you? Yes, you've caught me. I've been hiding it for years."

Harry giggled again and said, "No, you git! I meant…are you gay?" he asked, his voice catching a little on the word.

Draco grinned at just how adorable Harry's blustering was, then realised he would be horrified at such a thought when he sobered up. "Actually, I'm bi."

"Bi," Harry repeated slowly. "So…you like both?"

"Got it in one," Draco said with a nod.

"And," Harry said, his smile turning sly, "you fancy Bill."

"What?" Draco said in shock. "I…no I don't, I – "

"Oh come on, you can't deny it," Harry said gleefully. "I've seen the way you look at him. I can't blame you, Bill's pretty easy on the eye."

"He's…alright I suppose," Draco said, his cheeks heating. "For a Weasley."

Harry gave a knowing smile but thankfully didn't press the matter further. Draco wasn't ready for that conversation, not yet. He looked at the bottle and decided that there were a couple of healthy swigs left in it. He chucked one back then handed the bottle to Harry to finish, who did so with such a sour expression it made Draco laugh all over again.

His tongue decided loosened, he regarded Harry for a moment, feeling a thoroughly alien surge of affection for the boy next to him.

"Listen," he said softly, "I know that things are a little confusing for you right now, but…if you want…try things out, no strings attached, that offer of a kiss can stay on the table."

"And you promise you're not madly in love with me?" Harry asked teasingly.

"On my honour."

"Ok…I'll think about it."

The NEWTs came and Draco was ready for them. For each exam someone from the Hogwarts faculty came to fetch him and he took the test in Snape's private quarters. No one was to know that he was in the castle, or indeed even still in the country, and so, to that end, Harry loaned him his invisibility cloak.

Finding out that Harry possessed such a thing came as something of a surprise. He had always wondered, back at school, how Harry had got away with half the things he got up to, and now he knew. He was a little bewildered that Harry trusted him enough to lend him such a treasure and he guarded it reverently.

The exams themselves went well enough. He had put in a great deal of work, especially as he had had nothing better to do stuck in Grimmauld day after day. With no family money or connections behind him anymore, he would have nothing but his academic achievements to help him get through life, and he was determined to show his father that he could make it on his own.

Harry joined him for a couple of revision sessions a week. The boy looked more tired every time Draco saw him and he wasn't sure how much strain Harry could take until he buckled under it. The boy seemed as determined as he was to do well in the NEWTS, perhaps to prove that he was more than The Boy Who Lived, that there was more to him than some dumb prophecy.

He was working himself hard, pushing himself to extremes, but Draco thought that perhaps he came to Grimmauld as an escape, as a way to shut out all those pressures, if only for a little while. Either way, Draco liked having him around. He had never thought such a thing would be possible, but, by the same token, he had never expected to be in the situation he was in.

The day of the exam results rolled around and Draco awaited the post nervously. Snape had promised to send them on to him, as his owl was one of the few that could get past the wards. His stomach rolled in anticipation and he sat at the kitchen table, nervously drumming his fingers as he waited.

It wasn't until late afternoon that the letter arrived, and, rather than ripping the envelope open, Draco simply left in on the kitchen table, staring at it over the rim of his coffee cup. He was mostly confident that he had done well, that he had worked hard enough to secure good marks, but the part of his mind that sounded suspiciously like his father told him he had failed, that he would never be good enough.

"Unless you've developed some kind of psychic power, I think you might have to open it to find out what's in it."

Draco turned his head to see Bill standing in the doorway. He couldn't deny that his stomach fluttered to see the man, and he couldn't deny that he looked damned good.

"So, are you going to open it?" Bill asked, moving into the kitchen and leaning casually against the countertop.

"Working my way up to it," Draco said, resting his fingertips on the envelop and tapping gently. "What are you doing here?"

"I have a couple of weeks' hiatus, thought I'd come and say hi. I've just been at home, the others all have their results."

"Did they do well?" Draco asked, only really bothered about Harry.

"Yeah, they did. Hermione aced everything, of course, and Ron did better than he expected to. Harry got a few Os and a couple of Es. He's made up."

"Good for him," Draco said with a small smile.

"Do you…do you want me to open it for you?"

Draco took a deep breath and picked up the envelope. He paused for a moment then handed it to Bill, saying, "Be gentle."

Bill took the envelope and broke the seal. He extracted a small sheet of parchment and his eyes scanned it quickly. He looked back up at Draco, his expression remaining passive.

"Well?" Draco asked breathlessly.

"Draco," Bill said slowly, "you aced them."

"What – "

"Os in everything and a special mention for being in the top 1% of scores for your Potions NEWT. Fucking hell, congratulations."

Draco blinked for a moment then scrambled up from his seat to stand next to Bill. He took the parchment from the man's hand and looked it over, his brain telling him that there were indeed Os written all over the page.

"I don't believe it," he whispered. "I fucking did it."

"I knew you would," Bill said, and Draco looked up at him. The man smiled at him and, before he could stop himself, Draco flung his arms around the man's neck and pulled him into a hug.

Bill's arms came up to encircle him, strong and firm, and Draco smiled into his shoulder, feeling fairly giddy. He clung on for a moment or two, thoroughly indulging in the feeling of being held. He pulled away before Bill could realise anything was amiss.

"This pretty much writes you a ticket to any future you want," Bill said, and Draco noted that the man still had his hand resting on his shoulder. "So what about applying to the St Mungo's training programme?"

Draco took a deep breath and said, "I will…but not yet. I…need to get money behind me first, figure out how to pay for tuition, figure out a place to live. Plus, this war feels as though it's looming larger every day, things are too uncertain while we have that hanging over our heads."

Bill nodded. "That seems fair, but at least now you know you have options. And…" the man reached into his pocket and pulled out a small leaflet. "I thought this might be of some use to you."

He handed it to Draco and Draco saw that it was from Gringotts. It was information on a line of credit specifically for student loans. He looked back up at Bill, feeling his stomach flutter again.

"You picked this up for me?" he asked, disproportionately pleased that Bill had been thinking of him.

"I thought it might help. I know things are tough…but you should be able to continue your education. I looked through the terms; they're pretty reasonable, and the repayment structure is decent, it won't cripple you."

"Thank you…for thinking of me."

"It's ok," Bill said with a smile. "It isn't a hardship to think of you."

Draco felt the blush spread up his neck as he realised just how close he was standing to the man. Bill smelt wonderful, fresh and clean with just the tiniest hint of aftershave. It was all well and good to pretend that he didn't have a raging crush on Bill when the man wasn't around, but it was damned hard when he was standing right in front of him.

Draco cleared his throat and took a step back, trying to regain as much of his composure as possible. "So…you're um…you're sticking around for a little while?"

"If you don't mind."

"Oh, I think I'll be able to manage it."

"I'll just go and unpack then."

Draco nodded, trying to rein in his smile a little. Giddiness was still threatening to overwhelm him and he wasn't sure it was a good look on him. He had surpassed his own expectations in his exams and now Bill was staying with him for a couple of weeks. Things could certainly be worse.

AN: That's your lot, folks. Hope you enjoyed it, please leave a review and let me know.