He wasn't really sure how long he had been unconscious. What was a few days to those waiting for him in the waking world felt like nothing to him. There was no telling if it had been only a few hours or perhaps whole weeks. The moon in his Inner World never shifted, and so time did not exist.
"Hyorinmaru?" He called out to the endless landscape of ice, not even getting an echo back in response. The dragon did not appear to him, uncomfortably absent from his thoughts.
Toshiro made his way towards the lake that he was now used to seeing in his Inner World, a vast expanse of water where he had unleashed the full might of his Spirit Energy as the Soul Prince. It was also where a lot of his fears and doubts were hidden away, where most of his uncomfortable emotions were shoved down into in fact. The world above the water was meant to be calm, peaceful, a place where logic ruled. The lake… it essentially represented the turmoil of his heart. The sight of the churning waters did not spell good things for him.
"Hyorinmaru!?" He called out again as he turned from the lake, wanting to see if the dragon understood what was going on. Why was his spirit not responding?
There was a strange rumbling below his feet and he turned from the sky to the ice below him. A serpentine form moved beneath the ice and towards the lake, pausing briefly and shifting until he saw familiar red eyes.
"What are you doing down there?" Toshiro wondered aloud. He'd never seen Hyorinmaru move beneath the ice before.
The dragon let out another rumble and returned on his path towards the lake. Confused, Toshiro followed him, stepping carefully into the water until he was submerged completely under it. Breathing was not an issue here, the heavier currents not even slowing his movements, only bringing a strange silence. Hyorinmaru's long icy body swam through the water ahead of him.
"Why won't you talk to me?" Toshiro asked him.
"There is too much to say, so it is easier to show you." The dragon finally gave some sort of answer.
"But why? And you don't usually come into the lake, what's changed?"
"I leave this place alone because even in this world within yourself you need a place of solitude. But there is a memory here you should see."
"A memory?" Toshiro wondered what he could have forgotten that his spirit felt he needed to be reminded of.
The dragon didn't elaborate anymore, just swam ahead at a slow pace that his master could follow. Toshiro wanted to ask more questions but he knew his dragon wouldn't give him anything and would only lead to frustration. All he could do for now was follow. So follow he did, through wisps of current that whispered old memories, lingering at one of a happy conversation with Karin when summer had still been carefree and simple. So much had happened since then, all in such a short amount of time. He hoped Karin could go back to a normal life, but considering what happened to her brother after getting involved in matters of the spirit world he doubted that would ever be possible.
As much as he wanted to replay the old days in his head he knew he couldn't ignore what Hyorinmaru was trying to show him. With one last glance to the memory he walked forward once more.
After some time walking Hyorinmaru suddenly turned his head skyward and flew off without a word, leaving his master confused and speechless deep within the lake. He watched the dragon leave with his mouth slightly gaping in bafflement. Well now what was he supposed to do? Keep walking? Was the memory hidden in this spot?
When he looked back down, however, his eyes went wide. This memory, if it was one, was nothing like the others. It didn't float on currents in soft whispers, moving freely around the water. It had taken full shape.
"Father?" His voice was at a whisper, almost afraid that speaking too loud would cause the image to vanish into the waves.
The memory of his father smiled gently. He looked healthier than Toshiro remembered though, skin less pale and his posture straight, white hair neatly tucked behind him and not as thin. Sickness did not plague him now.
"But, how? You should have already passed into the cycle. Souls don't get to stick around after they die…" Toshiro was understandably confused, as having the ghost of his father here made no sense. As he'd stated, souls didn't have lingering ghosts when they died. That soul was now on its way to be reborn, it didn't get to linger like the living could once they lost mortality. Even more baffling than that was the fact this one was within his Inner World, a place no one but the soul themselves could get to. Only a zanpaktou could form there, no other beings could enter.
"I have, do not worry." Satoru said with a light chuckle. "This is but a memory. A form you might be willing to listen to."
"Why are my memories reaching out to me through you?"
"Memories can often be quite the confusing mess. Due to your rough treatment in the Dark Master's hands, your life is in great danger. There is a power you must grasp if you want to survive."
Toshiro couldn't help but gulp involuntarily at those words. At least here he did not feel the pain of his wounds.
"To make this easier, I now approach you, with the power of all our predecessors behind me, to teach you the power that I did not have time to teach you before."
"I feel like there was a lot I missed out on with the threat of assassination at every turn." Toshiro said with a frown, looking to the dark earth beneath his feet.
Satoru's smile was full of sadness.
"There never seems like enough time when a loved one is dying." He offered kindly. "I was glad you learned quickly… it gave us a bit more time to just be, even if my condition was unstable."
"It made it hurt more when you left…"
"That simply means you cared. That is not a bad thing, my son. It is painful, yes, but once you give yourself time to grieve you can focus on moving forward, bringing them with you in your memories. We are at the end of the cycle, meaning we have no time left to look forward to, but we mustn't forget that our end is a new soul's beginning. The cycle will always continue, and yet memories carry us forever."
Toshiro stayed silent, taking it all in. It really had been hard to lose his father within just a year of finally getting to know him, but he had gained so much in the process. As much as he wished he had more time, it was a time he would always remember.
"Then… what do you have left to teach me?" He looked back up to lock gazes with his father's memory, their eyes nearly the same.
"Walk with me." Satoru smiled, turning slightly and gesturing ahead of him.
Curious, Toshiro moved forward again, the image of his father following at his side before he began to speak once more.
"You have now witnessed just how valuable your life is to the fate of the world." Satoru stated and his son let a grimace appear on his face. "The more you are hurt, the more the world cracks and shifts."
"Senjumaru reminds me every chance she can." The current king grumbled, the former king chuckling lightly, glad to know his son still had a healthy attitude despite his condition.
"This connection to the world does not have to be a burden, my son. It does not have to chain you to your room, never to see the outside world for fear of it being destroyed should an ignorant fool decide to kill you."
"I know I'm capable of completely rearranging the world if I choose… that's what Dethmaiyn wants to do with it. But that comes with a high price, one I don't want to pay, especially not for an outcome I don't want."
"That is an extreme use of your position, yes, and fortunately not the power I wish to teach you."
Toshiro tilted his head ever so slightly, wondering what else was possible with the title of Soul King. For the most part it ran like any regular king position, the perk being this one controlled the whole world. That's why the Soul Kings appointed Commanders to split up some of that responsibility, splitting further and further into separate Soul Societies. An order from the Soul King was absolute to every single one. But political control wasn't necessarily the main point of the job. Someone had to tie their life to the balance of souls. With their presence as a sort of center point, souls could flow freely to where they needed to go. That of course meant that if that someone perished, so would the balance, and so the Soul King quickly became a respected and precious soul, guarded for millennia like a priceless artifact.
There were a lot of times Toshiro felt like more of a living statue than a king, even if everyone obeyed whatever he said. His life existed to keep the balance in place, which is why everyone was willing to die in his place and keep him in a safe-house where he couldn't protect his people. Frankly he found it infuriating… so the idea that there was something else he could do with his power - other than sacrifice his life by pretending to be God - was very appealing
"How much do you remember from the book Secrets of the Soul King?" Satoru asked.
That was a title he never thought he would hear again. During his training as a Soul Prince, that book was basically his textbook. It told him all about the customs, traditions and responsibilities of being the one to bear the mark of Soul King. Once he'd taken over for his father he had hidden the book deep within the library where it had gone forgotten in the past two years. He chose to hide it since Dethmaiyn's people had once tried to get their hands on it and he was worried it would contain something he had overlooked that would let Kamai take over. Perhaps that fear had been right.
"I will admit there's a lot that I have probably forgotten." Toshiro finally answered.
"Indeed, but once you know something, even if you can't immediately recall it, that information will remain buried in your memory."
"Is that what you're here to remind me of?"
Satoru gave a knowing look.
"In the chapter where you learned of the ability to reshape the cycle of souls there was another power. It was considered unnecessary for the most part, but for cases such as yours it is quite valuable. However, it does still require a sacrifice, if not as fatal as the more extreme power."
Toshiro tried very hard to remember what that was, but without the book on hand it would not come to mind. Well, he supposed that was the point of his father's memory being here.
"Just as the world will rage and crack with every injury you sustain, it is also capable of repairing itself and therefore you."
"How?" Knowing his father mentioned there was still a sacrifice to this, he asked this question very carefully.
"Waiting for an entire world to return to normal takes time, a lot of time. And in that time you will not be able to properly recover your Spirit Energy."
"The healers are doing the best they can. Healing Kido focuses on restoring energy first, and we have Orihime Inoue, her powers produce miracles." Toshiro was quick to argue, already realizing where this was going.
"Your Spirit Energy is the energy of the world now." Satoru sighed sadly, understanding his son didn't want to hear this. "Unless her shield can extend over the planet there is only so much she can do, though it will help. Using the cycle of souls to replace the energy lost, however, will-"
"Absolutely not." Toshiro glared fiercely at the suggestion, pausing their walk as his hands fisted tightly. "I will not take away a soul's chance at rebirth just to cure myself."
Satoru offered a glance of empathy to his son as he continued walking, forcing Toshiro to walk forward once more to keep pace with him.
"There is already a large influx of souls entering the Soul Society thanks to this war, both to counter the souls returning to the cycle from the war and the natural disasters covering every surface of the globe. But I understand your hesitation. Not only does it steal a life away, but it can be a problem if done too often." Satoru paused. "I do wish to tell you, however, that what you can take away, you can return."
Toshiro blinked, surprised.
"I can make new souls?"
"At an extreme cost to your own health, but yes. It was done before to bring back souls lost during the Quincy war centuries ago, and I've done it a few times myself in this war with Dethmaiyn. Between that and losing Kinryu… well, you had the misfortune of seeing the condition that left me in."
His son's gaze returned to the ground as they walked in silence for a moment. If his father chose to use his life to create new ones and refused to take those lives to cure himself… then he also did not want to consume the life of others for his own gain. It might have kept Satoru alive longer, therefore letting Toshiro live the same way he always had, but it would mean living with the knowledge that you stole away a soul's chance to exist. Neither father nor son could forgive themselves for doing something so awful.
"If you do not wish to reach into the cycle to cure yourself, at least hear me out for another power you can use over the world, one I believe has fallen in my absence and after your severe injuries."
"What power is that?"
"You are able to banish a specific soul from a realm." Satoru answered simply. "I had banished Dethmaiyn decades ago, so with nowhere to go he secluded himself to a place I could not find him, biding his time, knowing he had to bring the fight to him. Now, however, I fear he will be able to step foot in the realm once more."
Toshiro paled as he realized the implications of such a problem. If Kamai was no longer bound to his hidden realm of demons that meant… the man himself could go wherever he wanted. He could walk right into the Soul King's realm and do as much damage as he wanted, all while the Soul King was lost in a coma.
"That's why you suggested healing myself with other souls." He gulped, shaken. If he didn't bounce back from his injuries quickly then everyone could be killed while he slept helplessly. Either he stole life from the cycle of souls to ensure he would be ready to battle when Kamai came calling or bided his time to heal naturally and let his family and friends fight by themselves. Not everyone could go to the Soul King's realm to fight, and not everyone who lived in the realm was capable of fighting. If the war came to his doorstep they would have their forces severely reduced.
"I'm afraid you're… how does the saying go… stuck between a rock and a hard place." Satoru nodded sadly.
"There has to be another option." Toshiro stepped in front of the memory to force it to stop, looking up at his father with eyes begging for another choice. The ones he had were both horrible. The easiest answer would be to steal life and then try to return it over time, but there was no telling how many he would have to take, or how many he'd be able to replace. That power and the one to change the world completely were powers he quite frankly feared to use. Their costs were too high… but so was the cost of losing everyone he cared about while stuck in his current condition.
Satoru regarded his son with a sad expression, knowing how difficult a position he was in. It really wasn't the best of circumstances, no good option on the table to make things easier. Such was being king. No matter what path you took, something had to be sacrificed. If only the stakes weren't so high.
"I wish I could give you one." He finally spoke aloud, his hands reaching out to rest gently on the smaller figure's shoulders. Toshiro turned away, unable to hold his gaze and jaws clenched tight as he was forced to accept his options. "For now, there is time. Think over your choices carefully. I will return when you have decided." He stepped forward and brought his son into a loving embrace. "There are souls willing to give you their life to protect yours."
"I don't want to take them… they deserve a new life." Toshiro's voice choked as he hugged his father back after a moment of hesitation. He had a feeling he knew which souls his father's memory spoke of. "You deserve another chance."
"No, you deserve another chance. I wasted mine trying to protect you and your sister, only to place a heavy burden on your shoulders and lose Miyuki to darkness. The least I can do… is ensure there is a world where the both of you are safe and happy."
"Then… let me at least try to heal on my own first…"
Satoru sighed once more at his stubborn son.
"Very well… I wish you luck, Toshiro. I only wish I was a better father."
"You did what you could, and I will never forget you." Toshiro promised.
There was the echo of a chuckle in his ears before the solid form he was holding onto vanished and his arms held only air before tucking themselves around his chest. The whispers of the lake were the only thing left to listen to. His father was gone once again. Still, it was not as solemn as it had been upon his death. Despite the memory being gone, Toshiro felt a sense of appreciation and gratitude wash over him. His father was grateful to be remembered.
He only hoped he could repay that gratitude by letting his father pass on to a new life in the cycle of souls, no longer bound to the line of kings.
Welp I am failing all three of my classes as of right now so probably going to slow down on writing a whole lot to try and fix the mess I put myself in. Still writing, just much longer wait times. I'm so close to graduation and I would be severely depressed if I screwed it up by failing this badly. Wish me luck loyal readers, it's the final stretch, just these two semesters left.