Roxas was in combat, concentrated on killing, head throbbing. Luxord was somewhere nearby, but he didn't care about that. He just felt like fighting. He watched little hearts fly into the air, fulfilling some mission he didn't care about. Axel was at Castle Oblivion – gone weeks ago without a word of explanation, and Roxas had woken up alone for days on end.

And he was also seeing things. In fact, he thought he'd seen Sora, but he couldn't trust probably just a hallucination, and it kept happening over and over again. And sometimes it wasn't just Sora. Sometimes he thought he saw two other creatures with him. He felt like his brain was tricking him into remembering things that never existed. He defeated another heartless and saw another heart disappear.

He tried to remember the last time he'd been happy. It had been weeks ago before Axel disappeared.

"Let's check out the maze for those switches, Roxas," Luxord commanded. Focus Roxas. What did he say? Something about mazes?

He followed Luxord as they found one switch, then another, leaving just one remaining. He stopped thinking and concentrated all his efforts on destroying heartless. Luxord followed behind him, almost totally useless. Luxord wasn't hte keyblade master, no one was depending on him to do anything of real importance. That responsibility fell solely on Roxas. He rolled his eyes. What did he care about fucking Kingdom Hearts anyway?

Roxas blinked and stared at the spot directly beside him. He swore he'd just seen someone there. It was Sora again – had to be. He was gone now. What the hell was happening to him? Luxord hadn't noticed a thing.

"Let's head back, Roxas," he urged. "What's wrong with you?"

"Just a headache," he lied.

Luxord dropped the subject easily, and Roxas was relieved.

~0~

He waited at the clock tower and wondered what was happening to him. The more he thought about it, the more he feared for his sanity. Normal people didn't imagine things that didn't exist. But then, what did he know about normal people? He wasn't one of them. He was a Nobody. He was beginning to understand why it was a bad thing. It meant he was alone.

He heard a noise and saw Axel arrive. He sighed and stood up to go, having no desire to speak to him.

"Hold up, Roxas," Axel urged him.

"Today makes 255," Roxas responded dully. He'd lately become obsessed with the passage of time, counting out what could be the last days of his existence. If the visions got worse, he wouldn't be able to do his job, and then Xemnas would turn him into a dusk. At this point, it was inevitable.

"So you've got the number memorized, do ya?" Axel attempted a smile and Roxas frowned back.

"It's not like I have memories from before the Organization. I've only had 255 days of existence, and I regret every one of them." It wasn't entirely true. There were a few fond days, but they all involved Axel who he had vowed to hate. He didn't want to give him the satisfaction of hearing about his best days.

"Don't say that. Not every day?"

"In the beginning I was a mindless zombie, and now I'm insane."

"You're still kind of a zombie," Axel joked softly, attempting another smile. Roxas found the vibrations of his deep voice both comforting and frustratingly seductive.

How was it that Axel always managed to distract him when all he wanted was to be angry? He thought of his own eminent death and felt a profound sense of sadness realizing he would probably go to his grave still thinking about this man he so desperately wanted to despise. The subject depressed him so he changed it.

"Where is Xion?" he asked, looking around the corner of the clock tower. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her or even thought about her. Was it that time she'd been crying? Why couldn't he remember?

Axel didn't respond immediately. Roxas thought he looked a little worried. He didn't make eye contact when he responded. "Roxas…I'm not sure she's gonna show today."

Roxas tried to think of a reason why she wouldn't come. Last time he'd seen her she hadn't been feeling well. He remembered at least that much.

"She's got a really important mission," Axel explained. "Pretty cool, huh?" he added without any conviction.

"When's she coming back?"

"Well, I…I guess that depends on how well she does her job, right?"

Roxas knew something was wrong by the tone of Axel's voice. He must know something Roxas didn't. Why did his conversations with Axel always end the exact same way? Disappointment and then despair. He descended the clock tower steps without a word, and Axel didn't attempt to follow him.