Most of my free time over the next several days is spent moping around and thinking. A little bit of drinking, but mostly thinking. There's a lot of lying flat on my bed and staring at the ceiling involved. Kind of like bad sex. I don't go to the Hob on Thursday like I usually would, mostly because Darius is going and I don't want to make things awkward. Partly because I'm still angry with Katniss. I assume my absence is noted, but nobody mentions it or my withdrawn behavior until I stagger into the empty kitchen on Sunday after a sorely needed sleep-in.

I've just punched a sizeable brunch into Martha and am leaning forward against the counter, hands braced on the lip and eyes screwed shut when I hear a sharp female voice from the door. "Mason. You're alive."

I probably would have jumped in shock were I more alert, but instead I groan under my breath. I slowly turn around and meet the piercing green eyes of my commanding officer. My first words of the day are gravelly as hell. "Alive and well, Captain Stark."

"Alive, anyway," she muses, doing a poor job of holding back a smile. I give her a sour look, hardly in the mood to be the source of someone's amusement. Her lips flatten out a little. "Have you been drinking?"

"Not today," I mumble.

"I should hope not," snorts Purnia. "It's 10 AM." I just rub the sleep from my eyes in response. The older woman tilts her head, sizing me up for a moment. "What's going on with you?" she asks. When I only shrug, she guesses, "You and Darius break up?" My stomach lurches.

"You knew about that?"

She smirks, "You were a lot subtler than most Peacekeeper romances, I'll give you that. But I can read Darius like a book. There's a certain way he looks at a woman when he's doing her." I furrow my brow and glower up at her. She should know it's way too soon to be mentioning Darius fucking other girls. I've thought about my feelings for him a lot over the past few days, and though I know I'm not truly in love with him, that doesn't mean I'm not attached or possessive at all.

"Oh, yeah?" I snark. "How would you know?" The second this question leaves my lips, I realize I don't want to know the answer. Purnia and I, we have a lot in common. My eyes are brown and I'm a couple inches shorter, but we both have shoulder-length black hair and a relatively small frame. Personality-wise, she's kind of an older and more confident version of me, just more reserved. I can see Darius being attracted to her. Hell, if I'm being honest, sometimes I enjoy being bossed around by her a little too much.

"Please," she scoffs, waving me off. "I don't shit where I eat."

"Really?" Now I'm genuinely curious. "You've seriously never had a 'Peacekeeper romance'? Not once, in six years?" Martha beeps loudly, distracting me for a moment. I pull my plate out and immediately scoop a forkful of hash browns into my mouth. I point my fork at Purnia and say through the wad of potato, "You don't seem the type to get involved with a local."

"I'm not," she concurs. "I keep my hands to myself."

I swallow my food and chuckle. "I'm sure you do."

"Pervert," she mutters. I pluck a sausage off my plate and take a bite, waggling my eyebrows. Purnia rolls her eyes. "Way to prove my point, Mason."

I blink innocently and ask, "What?" around my mouthful of meat. I can see that smile peeking out again. I extend my plate to her. "You want one?"

"Nah," she smirks. "I think you need your sausage more than me." I have to literally bite my tongue to keep myself from arguing that her uptight ass could use a good fuck. However improved our relationship may be from when I started, that isn't one she'd let me get away with. Not by a long shot.

I've been eating in silence for several moments before she speaks again, her serious tone back on. "Are you going to be okay?" I sigh and consider this while I chew. Really, I will be. I already am, I've just been choosing to mourn my loss rather than move on or make any good come of it.

"Yeah," I shrug. "Sometimes you just need to be sad about something for a while to process it, you know?"

"Mm hm," she nods. She hesitates a second, then ventures, "Mind if I ask what happened?"

"Just… stupid shit." She continues to look on expectantly, so I elaborate, "Darius said it would be casual and non-dramatic and such, but then it wasn't. He wasn't."

"Doesn't surprise me," she ponders aloud. "I could see him getting more and more attached to you. And I don't know you as well, but it didn't look like you felt the same way." That's true on some level, so I nod. And that's when she says, "Your attention was elsewhere."

My muscles go lax and I almost drop my plate, my eyes fixated on the perceptive officer. I curl my fingers around the porcelain dish and snap my jaw shut, then take a slow breath to steady myself. I cock my head and coolly inquire, "What are you saying, Purnia?"

"I'm saying it was obvious what you wanted, whether you knew it or not. And that it wasn't him." I keep my face completely blank, refusing to give anything away, but her expression tells me it's far too late for that. I can't help but blink away guiltily. "I'd tell you not to do anything stupid, but I'm sure you already have." Purnia steps up and cups her hand under my jaw, tilting my chin up to force me into eye contact. I begrudgingly comply. "I like you, Johanna," she states in a quiet but sincere tone. "Be careful."

I really want this awkward moment to end, so I nod wordlessly. I'm not sure I could speak if I tried, anyway. She leaves me alone after that, but her words linger in my mind well into the afternoon. She wasn't entirely right. As much as I buried it, I always knew what I wanted. Not in my mind, but in my gut. And now, thanks to Katniss's rather immature antics, I can finally have it. Despite Purnia's warning, I know she's not going to rat me out unless I give her reason to, and Cray encouraged it, even if his motives were very different from mine. So I'm going to tell Katniss what I want, and hope she wants the same thing. After I give her a piece of my mind.

With that in mind, my lethargy turns to jitters over the course of the afternoon. Not wanting to seem overeager, I wait until just after four to exit the district. I'm only halfway there when I first catch the strains of music in the birdcalls emanating from deeper in the forest. Intrigued, I speed up. The chirping only grows louder as I get closer, and I start to pick up the repetitive tune. I was hoping Katniss took my words to heart and started this chorus, but despite straining to pick out a human voice, I can't identify one.

And then, I hear her. Even if I weren't out here, I'd know it's her right away because her singing voice has the same rich, deep timbre as her speaking voice. I can't quite make out all the words yet, only something about a tree, I think. But instead of hurrying up so I can hear her better, I decide to creep closer. I prefer a candid performance. At the third stanza, her volume swells and I finally catch the whole verse.

"Are you, are you, coming to the tree? Where I told you to run, so we'd both be free." I freeze in my tracks as she carries on, "Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be, if we met at midnight in the hanging tree." The next verse is exactly the same, except for the second line, "Wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me." Well, that's just a tad morbid. And perhaps a bit prophetic. I swallow involuntarily.

I sneak closer through some trees off the lousy excuse for a path and eventually catch sight of Katniss as she continues to sing. She's situated on a branch about six feet off the ground, legs dangling just above the spot where I arrested her for the first time. When she repeats the earlier verses, I deduce they are the last two of a four-verse song. She stops after the third time through the entire thing, eyes out toward the barracks. If she sees me, she's pretending not to. I let the birds echo one stanza unaccompanied before chiming in, an octave higher than the other girl.

"Are you, are you, coming to the tree?" I sing, stepping out from the cover of the forest. Katniss spots me immediately and I gaze at her with purpose. "Where I told you to run, so we'd both be free." I amble over as I finish the verse. "Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be, if we met at midnight in the hanging tree."

It's all but silent in the forest when my solo ends. A moment later, the mockingjays start up again, this time chirping at a higher pitch. I shoot a smug look at Katniss, who half-heartedly rolls her eyes in a pathetic attempt to look unimpressed. But I don't need her compliments. I'm well aware that I slay just as well with my voice as with my hands.

"Trying to summon me with some kind of magic?" I tease her, strolling up to the base of the tree.

"I've been singing on and off for a while," she smirks. "I'd say it worked."

I stop under the branch and extend my arms up to her, silently offering my hands to break her fall. She looks down at me doubtfully, but shuffles off the limb. I catch her by the hips and set her down right in front of me. I don't reposition my hands. "I'm strong for my size, remember?"

"How could I forget?" she muses, her fingers trailing up my forearms before curling around them into a steady grip. She lifts her head and admits, "Wasn't sure you'd show."

"Why wouldn't I be here?" I ask, a touch too perkily.

"Because we never confirmed today was a go, and because I didn't see you Thursday," she reasons, apparently oblivious to my sarcasm. Typical. "I thought maybe… I thought maybe you were mad at me."

I hook my thumbs through the little space left in her belt loops, but also inch backward so our height difference is less pronounced. I cock my head and lay it on sickeningly sweet this time. "Why would I be mad at you, Katniss?" I spot dread in her flickering eyes as she shifts her weight to her heels.

"I don't know… for causing trouble between you and Darius, maybe?" she speculates.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" I snark. I pause a beat to let that sink in. "Congratulations, Everdeen. There is no me and Darius. That's over, thanks to you."

"You don't sound very happy about that," she remarks flatly.

"No shit." I release her pants and take a step back. "It was not your place to do that," I scold her. "And it hurt his feelings to find out that way." The taller girl rolls her eyes with an exaggerated scoff. Cheeky little bitch. I plant my fists on my hipbones with a heavy glare. "Just because you don't have feelings doesn't mean I don't have to worry about anyone else's, you know."

"I have feelings!" she protests.

"Yeah, jealousy and anger," I scoff. "Anything else?"

I think I see legitimate hurt in her expression as she crosses her arms. "I think you know me better than that by now," she retorts. "And as for Darius, he deserved to know. And it's not like you were gonna tell him."

I shoot her a dangerous look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"That's why you didn't mind if I needed to take things slow, right?" she presumes. Her accusing tone fades to downcast as she adds, "Because you had someone else to fool around with in the meantime."

My first instinct is to react similarly to when Darius suggested the same thing, but something in me just can't handle seeing Katniss in any kind of pain. Especially pain caused by me. So instead of blowing up, I sidestep the somewhat true accusation on a technicality.

"No, not exactly," I say. She tilts her head, silently pressing for an explanation, and I shake mine. "It's complicated, and I don't want to go into it."

The younger girl snorts. "It's 'classified,' huh?"

"No, it just involves Clove," I snap. "I don't want to talk about her, and I'm sure you don't want to hear about her, either." Katniss blinks away and I sigh and scratch behind my ear. "I need to take things slow for my own reasons, okay? It's not just about you."

Katniss's eyes heat up a little at this familiar refrain, her lips morphing into a sharp scowl. "So then how did you end up fucking Darius?" she retorts. "That moved pretty damn fast."

"We have a totally different relationship." I know she'll only get more defensive if I bring up her age, but I give her the other reasons. "We're both Peacekeepers. We see each other all the time, so I'm really comfortable with him. And he… he's experienced." Katniss frowns and I quickly clarify, "I mean that sleeping with someone who's been around is less responsibility. You don't want to rush into taking someone's virginity."

"So I was right," she snorts. "You were using him as a stopgap."

I cross my arms and pointedly remind her, "I was involved with him long before anything happened between us, you know. That's not fair."

"How long?" she inquires. I tilt my head coyly. "What, you went from never having kissed him to sleeping with him in how long?" she presses. "A few days? A few weeks?"

"A few hours," I admit. I know this revelation will only bring trouble, but I don't want to hold on to that secret and, honestly, I just love shock value. Her expression turns vaguely horrified, as expected. I manage to hold in a smirk.

"Wow," she mutters. "That's… quick."

"But not uncommon," I counter. "Sometimes when people figure out what they want, things escalate quickly." I think Darius's words are the best explanation until Katniss's face crumples.

"So that's when you figured out what you wanted, huh?" she concludes, her voice nearly breaking. She nods once. "Me too."

"No, no," I backpedal. "I meant what I wanted in the moment. Not what…" I sigh and drag my fingers through my hair. "I was lonely, Katniss. Okay?" Her expression softens a bit at this admission, or perhaps the trace of desperation in my tone. "I've been so lonely since I got here. I left my family, and my lover left me. Darius was there for me from the beginning, and that helped. He became a good friend, and eventually he offered."

Katniss snorts, "I'm sure he did." I feel a swell of defensive anger in my chest. It was bad enough when it seemed she might be judging my sexual exploits, but she has no place judging Darius's actions.

"Say what you want about him," I scowl. "And me." Before either of us has a chance to escalate this any further, I jerk my head into the woods and bark, "Do you wanna shoot shit or not?"

We don't end up shooting at all, actually. Katniss is itching for some more instruction with the axes, and though I enjoy shooting I do love being the expert at whatever we do together. And Everdeen is much more tolerable when she's learning at my feet rather than lording her skills over me. Gives her a much-needed shot of humility. I guess I'm not one to talk.

Without moving targets at our disposal, I come up with the idea of Katniss throwing the axes while running toward her target to practice making the blade stick while changing distance. This adds the extra complication of throwing while on the move, but even with that, she does remarkably well. So much for humility. It's also really sexy, admittedly, seeing her chuck the things like a seasoned warrior. I have to scoop my jaw off the ground and make a note to change my underwear later when she throws one mid-air with a loud cry. My eyes follow the axe until it lodges in a tree, then I clear my throat, hoping it also clears the arousal from my voice.

"Have you seriously never done this before?" I ask incredulously. "You're picking it up way faster than anyone I've ever taught before." She's clearly been practicing what I already taught her, but her ability to match the correct spin and distance is uncanny.

"Not with axes," she answers with a teasing evasiveness. I raise my eyebrows. "I throw knives from time to time. Not like the sleek kind you see in the Games, just regular hunting ones." My surprise must show, because she adds, "Sometimes, if I've wounded an animal with an arrow, it's better to get a knife into it, too. Before I approach it."

"You can't just shoot it a second time?"

Everdeen shrugs, but can't hide the glint in her eye. "Knives are more fun." My eyes grow. I have underestimated her. Perhaps when she inevitably realizes who the female DV is this year and susses out that I trained for the Games, she won't be as bothered as I thought. That is probably wishful thinking, though. Animals are not people, and hunting them is not for the sake of amusing the Capitol. Like she said, she doesn't hunt for sport.

"So you're already used to adjusting spin for moving targets," I surmise. "Well, that gives you a leg up on your average beginner. You might even stand a chance in the arena."

Katniss's face goes blank. I panic internally and am about to apologize for my insensitivity when she simply says, "I hope so." Then she heads for the tree to retrieve the axe.

I consider offering to let her practice with my throwing knives and even further bolster her chances, but dismiss the idea because that would call into question why I have them in the first place. Instead, I pluck the second weapon from my belt and call out, "I can teach you some more useful tricks for combat if you want." She yanks the blade out of the bark and turns around, intrigued. "How to use the hatchets defensively and in closer range, and how to throw two at once."

Her eyebrows shoot up. "Two at once?" She hooks the one she's holding over her shoulder and creeps back my way. "That would be your thing, now wouldn't it?" There's just the slightest edge in her tone.

I roll my eyes. "Yes, it's exactly the same," I snark. "Except axes don't get jealous and throw each other away." I finish that with a pointed look that Katniss deflects with another blank stare.

"If you're hoping for an apology, you're not gonna get one," she declares plainly.

"I don't need an apology," I assure her. "But I'd like it if you gave one to Darius. You were a total asshole to him." Katniss scoffs and looks down, clearly not thrilled by the idea, but doesn't outright refuse either. I find the scene in question replaying in my head, as it has many times before, and I smile lewdly. "But honestly, it was kind of hot." Katniss blinks back up in surprise and I clarify, "The possessive behavior, I mean." A smug smile starts pulling at her lips.

"Oh, really?" she purrs, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yeah," I smirk, slinking a couple of steps to put her within arm's reach. "But if you're gonna go around staking your claim, I hope you intend to follow through."

"What do you mean?"

I bite my lip. Now's the time to tell her. Ask her. I take a steady breath and start with, "Honestly, I'm glad it's over with Darius. Relieved, anyway." I smile wryly. "Maybe I should be thanking you, because I knew I'd have to end it eventually and I couldn't find it in myself to do it."

There's a slight waver in Katniss's poker face and her throat bobs, so I'm pretty sure she already knows the answer when she digs, "Why did you need to end it?"

"Because I want to be with you," I tell her. "For real." I look straight into those smoky gray hues and spell out, "I want to be your girlfriend."

Katniss blushes and averts her eyes within seconds, but I see a smile creeping onto her face just before she ducks it into her shoulder. I catch her fingers fiddling with the cuff of her jacket sleeve as she works up to speaking. "Is that even allowed?" She lifts her head, and I can see she's full on beaming now. If the heat and pain in my cheeks is any indication, so am I.

I close in and take her fidgeting right hand in my left. "Definitely not," I drawl, circling my thumb over the back of her hand. "But you won't say anything, right? Believe me, you'll want me to keep my tongue." Katniss blinks dumbly and I laugh. "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?" Now her eyes narrow in mild offense.

"They cut your tongue out if you commit acts of treason?" she surmises crossly. Wow, talk about missing the point. But if she doesn't know about Avoxes, it's worth explaining. It will shed some light on my previous hesitance to get involved with her.

"Or cut it so you can't speak. Either way." I shrug and roll my tongue around my mouth, taking comfort in the fact that it's still there. "Make you a slave, usually doing horrible work like in the Capitol sewers or something. Pretty good incentive to stay loyal if you're a Peacekeeper or a Capitol citizen."

Katniss inches backward and looks me over, loosening her grip. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea," she deliberates, her forehead creasing in concern. I squeeze her hand before she can pull away completely.

"I mean, honestly, that wouldn't happen here," I backpedal. "Not under Cray, anyway. Even throughout the districts, I think this kind of thing happens here and there." Katniss releases a tiny sigh of relief and slides her fingers between my willing ones. But I don't want her to think there's no risk involved, so I add, "The problem would really be if it caused me to act against orders. That's bad enough, but then if they find out about the relationship…" I stick my tongue out and snip my fingers repeatedly like scissors.

"So what you're saying is, you can't give me any special treatment," she gathers.

"Not exactly," I correct her. "I'm saying I can't let it affect my work. My loyalty still has to be to the Capitol, first and foremost. For the safety of both of us." She makes a face and my mouth twitches in acknowledgement. "I know. But honestly, I don't see it being an issue. Not unless Cray's right and you're planning on starting riots or something."

"No," she quickly denies. "I just want to keep me and my sister alive." I chuckle inwardly. That was meant to be rhetorical, but I find her insistence comforting nonetheless.

"Then we should be fine." I reach out for her free hand, and as soon as our fingers connect I break into another huge grin. I cock my head and prod, "So, what do you say? Wanna be my girlfriend?"

The hunter's answer is more hesitant than her smile would suggest. "Depends on what you mean by that." At my puzzled look, she rephrases, "How is it different from what we're doing already?"

"Well, for one, it means you get to call me your girlfriend." I raise a meaningful eyebrow. "Darius never got to do that." I'm expecting the grin that spreads across her face at that. Predictable, yet still adorable. "It means you don't have to worry about him or anyone else, and I don't have to worry about Gale. It means we'll spend more time together, if we can." I smirk and deliver the kicker, "And it means you can kiss me whenever you want."

Katniss bites her lip, but her huge smile quickly pops it back out of her teeth. I watch, entranced, as it regains its color. "I like the sound of that," she breathes, grazing her thumbs over mine.

"Good. So do I." I push up on my toes and kiss my girlfriend, Katniss Everdeen. I like the sound of that even better. Her tongue pushes into my mouth almost immediately and I gasp in surprise. This pulls a grunt out of her and her hands jump up to cradle my face with both hands. Her passionate response is really sexy, not gonna lie, but this is a moment I'd rather savor, so I make deliberate eye contact and draw my tongue back a little. She gets the picture surprisingly quickly and loosens her grip on me a bit, pulling back enough to take a breath.

I close the tiny gap she left and reengage our lips, and this time her response is firm but measured. Perfect. I cup her cheek with my left hand and slide the right to the small of her back, losing myself to the brush of her thumbs over my jaw, the taste of game on her tongue, her stormy gray eyes. I feel like I'm drowning, but in the most pleasant way possible. I didn't think I'd ever be able to feel this happy again.

***o***

I'm in full uniform when I show up at the school at a quarter to three on Tuesday afternoon. Hanging out with Katniss at the Hob all the time is bound to look suspicious, if Greasy Sae's reaction after our interaction with Darius last week is any indication, so I need to get creative if I'm to hold up that promise of seeing each other more often. So here I am, moving against the rush of bodies eagerly exiting the area, though most of them do make a point of staying out of my way. I'm not used to that, being of small stature. It must be the gun.

I've been fruitlessly scanning the passing crowds for either Everdeen sister for a couple minutes before I pick out another familiar face. I keep an eye on the doors while moving to my left to intercept the girl.

"Hey, blondie!" I call. A few blond kids look up, but only the one I recognize sees me staring at her from ten feet away. She stops but is just as wordless as the last time I saw her. "You got a sec?"

She blinks out to the crowd and barely mumbles, "What is it?"

"Speak up, Goldilocks," I demand mockingly. The girl's eyes narrow and I smirk in satisfaction.

"You were much more polite last time," she observes dryly, significantly louder. I can't help it, my eyes widen in surprise.

"You remember me?"

"Hard to forget someone who arrests your best friend." I recall that Katniss once said this girl was hardly even a friend, if she was indeed referring to her. But I don't mention that. "Besides, she explained who you were once she got back." The blonde pops her eyes pointedly. "Johanna."

"Oh?" I cock an eyebrow and fold my arms. "What did she say about me?"

"That you're a friend from the Hob and you pretended to arrest her so you could talk trades." She smiles, I think. Maybe it's a grimace. Either way, it doesn't seem entirely friendly. It's probably the gun, again. "Pretty creative," she remarks.

"Thanks. I think." I glance back at the flow of students, checking for Katniss once more. Still no luck. "I'm looking for her, actually," I reveal. "Have you seen her?"

"Last I saw, she was still inside," the girl offers, nodding her head toward the building. "She usually walks home with her sister."

"All right." Hoping to throw her the way she did me, I tack on a casual, "Thanks, Mags." She purses her lips, but not before I catch them starting to turn up, or the slight shudder of her body as she suppresses a snicker. Great. "It's not Mags, is it?"

"Madge," she corrects me. "Undersee."

My eyebrows lift in surprise, but I try to make it look intentional. "Like the mayor?"

"Yes, like the mayor," she repeats with a tinge of impatience.

"Huh." The mayor's daughter, I assume. He's much more friendly than she is, from my limited interactions with the man. "So Katniss has friends in high places," I muse.

Madge takes a pointed look at my uniform. "Looks that way."

I'm about to ask her if she has a problem with that, but then I catch sight of Prim exiting the building and I reckon Katniss can't be far behind. I leave the first blonde behind with a curt, "Thanks, Undersee" and head straight for the shorter one. As I expected, Katniss pushes out the door within seconds. What I didn't expect was Gale right on her heel. I pause mid-step, briefly unsure what to do. I could just wait and follow them to her house, see her there. But if she's going to go around staking her claims, maybe I should return the favor. Before I get a chance to decide, Prim sees me and waves.

"Johanna!" she calls out, trotting over with a smile. I don't see her often, but I've run into her enough times in full uniform by now for her to recognize me, even with the helmet on.

"Hey, Prim," I falter, glancing up to assess the others' reactions. Katniss is gaping, Gale glaring. Well, something like that. He mostly just looks mildly annoyed. "How've you been, kiddo?" I ask, returning some of my attention to the younger Everdeen. I still catch Gale turning to Katniss and starting a discussion.

"I've been okay," she replies. "You?"

"Not bad," I answer automatically. Katniss catches my eye, and warmth suddenly floods my core. She's keeping her expression fairly neutral, but there's a light in her eyes that almost makes me woozy. "Really good, actually," I muse. I grin down at Prim. "I've been great." She smiles. "What about your sister? Has she been all right lately?" I'm pretty sure I know the answer, but I do love having my ego stroked. Among other things.

"I think so, yeah." Oh. Well, so much for flattery. I peek up at the others in time to see Gale nod and peel off toward the Seam. "She's been kind of moody, but that's not unusual," Prim smirks. I laugh. "But I caught her singing last night. She hasn't done that in years without me begging and pleading first."

"Not since–" I catch myself before I say something insensitive, and just nod instead. But Prim seems to know what I mean.

"Yeah. Since then."

Katniss is almost upon us now, so I catch her eye and nod after Gale. "Did I scare him off?" I joke. Well, sort of.

"Nah," she shrugs. "We're both heading home before we meet up later. We can afford to now that it's light out longer." She eyes up my armor uneasily. "I thought you were off at two."

"Oh, I was, I just…" I sweep my eyes around the schoolyard. "I didn't want to seem out of place." While an on-duty Peacekeeper hardly avoids detection, there are always some near the school when it lets out, making sure the crowds disperse with no trouble and the smaller kids get home safely. A Peacekeeper just hanging around the school without explanation raises more questions.

"So why are you here?"

"Why am I here?" I sass her. "For the extremely pleasant company, of course."

"Oh, no, I meant…" Katniss trails off under my teasing gaze.

Prim tugs on my sleeve and pipes up, "Do you want to walk us home?"

"Yes, Prim," I smile affectionately. "That's exactly why I'm here, actually."

She grins. "Great. Buttercup would love to see you." I glance over at Katniss and catch her rolling her eyes. "And Mom's been asking about you."

I can feel the panic rise in my chest while I watch it overcome the taller girl's gray eyes. Then she glares down at her sister with a half-open mouth. "Prim!" she snaps.

"What?" She flicks her eyes between us. "I didn't mean in a bad way." Somehow, I have a hard time believing that. Nonetheless, I gesture toward the Seam in a command for her to lead the way. Prim takes one of Katniss's hands as the three of us start travelling northwest. I wish I could take the other. I flex my fingers in my gloves instead.

"Do you buy that?" I mumble just loudly enough for Katniss to hear. She tosses me a questioning glance. "Your mom asking about me nicely."

"She's just curious, I think," she answers casually, at full volume. "She knows you gave me a really good deal on those pants. And I don't have a lot of friends." But the look in her eyes when they flit back over to me is more apprehensive than her tone suggests.

"And the ones you have aren't entirely pleasant," I add. Katniss smirks until I say, "I just had a lovely conversation with the mayor's daughter." Then her brow crinkles.

"What did she say?"

"Not much," I shrug. "She just didn't seem very impressed with the fact that we're friendly." I lower my voice again. "I guess I didn't give her the best first impression, arresting you 'to talk trades' and all."

Katniss continues to walk silently for a moment but then stops and looks down at her sister. "Prim, why don't you run on ahead?" she directs her.

"Why?" the smaller girl whines.

"Hanna and I have some things to talk about," is Katniss's vague answer. Prim narrows her eyes peevishly, and I don't blame her. I used to hate it when my brother and sister would shoo me away so they could talk about big kid things with their friends, especially when I liked said friends. Katniss tilts her head down meaningfully. "Please." Her tone makes it clear that she's not asking. Prim rolls her eyes dramatically and stamps away, in the biggest display of attitude I've ever seen from the blond sweetheart.

Once she's out of earshot, I remark, "This must be serious."

"It's just nothing she needs to know about," Katniss replies, starting forward again. I fall into step beside her. "Look, Madge is pretty familiar with the kinds of dealings that Peacekeepers sometimes engage in. Her dad entertains Cray fairly often to stay in his good graces, but he secretly detests him." She gives me a pointed look. "For many reasons."

"He knows about the girls."

"Yeah, and by extension, so does Madge. And she's not an idiot. She doesn't talk much, but I know she listens. And these are our classmates, you know?" I nod. I do know. People talk. "Cray's not the only one," Katniss continues. "If a girl from the Seam is friendly with a Peacekeeper and disappears with him from time to time, it kind of looks like…"

"Like she's blowing him for breadcrumbs," I finish.

"Yeah."

"Well, that makes sense, then. I can see why she'd be concerned." I waffle a moment before disclosing, "She called you her best friend, you know."

"Really?" Katniss sounds genuinely surprised. Perhaps she assumed Madge was as indifferent as she is toward their relationship. She flits her eyes back to the road. "Gale's mine."

"I know. At least he has good reason not to like me." I don't doubt he's picked up on the chemistry and tension between the two of us. "You think he knows?"

"Maybe," she ponders. "But I think he would say something if he did. He was really angry after Darius pulled that stunt with the kisses back in January. He thinks Peacekeepers should never flirt with locals, much less anything else. Says it isn't fair."

My brow creases. "Isn't fair how?"

"Like it's difficult to refuse without getting on someone's bad side, I guess he thinks. Like there's always a power imbalance." She shrugs dismissively. "Gale is always looking for those. Always needs something to be angry about."

"He didn't really object to me flirting with him," I remark. In fact, he seemed to at least sort of enjoy it until that time I brought up handcuffs. Then again, I realize now, I never bothered to ask.

Katniss gives me a bit of side eye, but lets it go. "Maybe it's because you're a girl and he's a guy?" she suggests. I roll my eyes. "Never said he isn't a bit hypocritical. He's very protective of me."

"No doubt," I mutter.

When we make it to the Everdeen house, Katniss pauses awkwardly by the gate. "Do you want to come in?" she hazards. "We can go to the woods right away and hang out until Gale shows up, but I want to check in first." I guess she doesn't mind her mom seeing us together unless it's a Sunday. Or maybe she's just getting braver.

"Sure," I shrug, squeaking past her and into the yard. She doesn't need to know just how unnerved I was by Prim's comment about their mom. I'm sure Mrs. Everdeen remembers my battle axe and would have no qualms about reporting it if she felt anything was amiss. Like if she found out I was kissing her daughter, for instance.

"Hey, Mom," Katniss hails casually as she enters the house. I guardedly close the door behind me as she takes a few steps toward the woman, who's peering at a collection of small glass jars on the table. "Prim make it home okay?"

"Yeah, she's upstairs," the blonde replies without looking up. For the moment. When she does, her eyes lock on me immediately. "Hello, Johanna," she greets me politely.

"Hi, Mrs. Everdeen," I reply, inching into the house. "Nice to see you again."

Her eyes linger on my gun, but still she says, "Likewise."

I clear my throat and venture toward the table. "What is all this? Your medicinal herbs?"

"Yes, I'm taking inventory," she explains. I nod and pick up a jar to examine its contents. "What brings you here?"

"I was working by the school and ran into your girls on the way home." I shrug. "Thought I'd walk them back."

She squints. "Both of them?"

"Yeah…" Right, Prim came home ahead of us. I turn to Katniss, who's been hanging back and watching us interact up to this point. "I'm gonna go talk to Prim for a minute. That cool?"

"Go ahead," she agrees. I look to Mrs. Everdeen for additional approval, and she nods. I don't miss the scowl Katniss makes at the gesture of deference.

I climb the rickety staircase and reach a door guarding the loft under the steep peak of the ceiling. I knock confidently. There's no answer. "Prim?" I call out. "Prim, it's Johanna. Can I come in?"

A muffled yes filters through the wood, so I push it in and find a single room behind it. It's a decent size but has two beds, one of which Prim is lying on with Buttercup, stroking his scruffy coat. He mewls hopefully at the sight of me. I wonder for a moment where their mom sleeps until I remember Katniss saying she shares with Prim. All of them in one room? That sounds potentially really awkward.

I stride forward and perch on the edge of the bed. "Hey, Prim," I say. She looks up but says nothing. "I'm sorry about that. If I'd realized I was bringing up a sensitive topic Katniss didn't want you to hear about, I would have waited." I tilt my head so it's lower and closer to hers, flashing her a disarming grin. "I'm happy to see you, as well." A flicker of hope crosses her face.

"Really?" she asks.

"Of course!" I gasp with exaggerated enthusiasm, slapping a hand over my chest. Prim giggles. "I saw you my first day here, and I liked you right away," I reveal, in a more serious tone. "You were selling cheese in the market. Your smile lit up the whole square." That smile takes over her face again, and my mouth automatically mirrors hers.

"Thanks, Hanna," she beams. I smile into my collar and bite my lip so I don't give away just how adorable I find her use of her sister's nickname for me.

"Listen, Prim, about your sister…" I start. She breaks eye contact in favor of petting the cat some more and kissing his head. "There are things a young girl shouldn't have to know about that she does. She's trying to make it so you don't have to. Like how she hunts and takes out tesserae so you don't have to." Prim begrudgingly looks up and I assure her, "She wasn't trying to exclude you, she was trying to protect you. Like she always does."

"I know," she huffs, shifting so she's sitting up and holding her knees to her chest. "But I can handle more than she thinks. She's the one who just about passes out at the sight of human blood."

My mouth falls open. "Really?"

Prim nods. "Mom's the best healer in the district, so we have people who are sick and injured coming through here all the time. When we get really bad cases, Katniss goes all pale and runs away." A genuine and surprised laugh escapes me. The visual of Katniss freaking out and hightailing it over a little bit of blood is uncharacteristic. And hilarious. I make a mental note to tease her about it next time she's being a brat. Goaded on by my reaction, Prim jerks back and throws on an exaggerated stunned expression, and after a second's pause starts cycling her arms and legs at a furious pace. I full on double over and cackle this time, and Prim dissolves into a fit of giggles beside me.

"Oh my god, that's totally how she runs, too," I gasp through peals of laughter. "Like she's being chased by a pack of wolves."

Prim nods enthusiastically and continues, "And then she comes back hours later and peeks in the door like she's afraid a bunch of patients are going to jump out and, like, rub their infected wounds on her."

I chuckle and wipe my eyes. "I didn't think Katniss was afraid of anything. Except for you getting hurt." Prim sets her jaw, recognizing my segue back to the serious conversation. I tilt my head down to her again. "You know, you're all she cares about, Prim. She's always saying how she just wants to keep you alive, and her face lights up this certain way when she's talking about you, in a way I never see when she's talking about anything else." I clap my hand on her closest knee and give it a little jostle. "I wish my older siblings had cared more about me. You have a good one."

"I know," Prim sighs. "She's just kind of mean about it, sometimes."

"Katniss doesn't realize when she's being mean, I don't think," I cogitate. "She's just… direct." I smile and jerk my head toward the door. "Do you want to come downstairs?"

Prim considers this for a moment but ultimately agrees. She stands and scoops up Buttercup, who meows weakly in protest. Just as I'm about to open the door, she calls after me, "You were wrong, though." I turn around and squint in confusion and she closes the gap. Prim smiles and snuggles the cat closer to her chest. "Her face lights up when she talks about you, too."

My initial reaction is one of shock, because I honestly didn't think Katniss would talk to her sister about me, for any reason. Then I feel my cheeks start to burn and I silently curse myself. I smirk away the blush and play it off as casually as I can at this point. "Of course it does," I brag. "I'm amazing."

The second I open the door, we're accosted by the harsh whispers of the two women downstairs. "If you need them so soon, why don't you go get them yourself?" growls Katniss.

"I'm not comfortable beyond the fence, you know that."

Katniss scoffs. "Well neither was I, when I was eleven." I glance over my shoulder and catch Prim's resigned expression as the two carry on.

"I just need this one thing from you," snaps Mrs. Everdeen. "Do you have to be so difficult?"

"One thing?" Katniss chuckles darkly. "Are you kidding me?"

I frown and thump my way down the rest of the staircase, making a point of announcing our presence. By the time I round the corner and hit the landing a few steps above floor level, the two are just glaring at each other silently. I pointedly raise my eyebrows as Prim comes down the last of the stairs behind me.

"What was all that racket about?" Katniss inquires suspiciously.

I turn my eyes down to Prim and grin conspiratorially. "It's a secret," she giggles. I wink at her and turn back to the others with a devious smirk. Katniss folds her arms and their mom purses her lips, but neither says anything.

"I'm gonna get going," I announce, making sure to catch Katniss's eyes and flick mine toward the fence. "Nice seeing you all again." I palm Prim's shoulder and give it an affectionate squeeze before making for the door.

I'm lounging on the grass by the fence when Katniss joins me several minutes later. "Careful, you're gonna get grass stains all over your shiny white clothes," she warns me.

"Only if I roll around in it," I retort. Then I throw her a wink and ask, "Wanna join me?"

Katniss snorts and extends a hand to help me up. I take it gladly, scooping my helmet off the ground on the way up. "We have to make a side trip before I meet Gale," she complains. "Might not have time for anything else." For kissing? It's adorable, she can't even say it.

"Again, just happy to see you," I assure her. She smiles half-heartedly and leads the way under the fence.

"Well, I purposely made time to spend with you, and of course my mom goes and steals it," she gripes. "I try not to drag Gale around gathering medicinal herbs when we should be tracking game. It's a waste of his time."

"You didn't tell him to show up later because you wanted to run off and make out with me in the woods, did you?" I grin smugly at Katniss's instantaneous blush.

"No, I told him Prim needed me to help her with some math stuff a little bit first." I chuckle and nudge her, but opt not to verbally tease her for lying to Gale to get time alone with me. She starts toward the edge of the woods and remarks, "You seem to get on really well with her. I noticed that last time, too." Her expression is every bit as unaffected as her tone, and I'm not sure if that comment was meant to be innocuous or hostile.

"Do you have a problem with that?" I inquire cautiously.

Katniss shakes her head, but her lack of enthusiasm does little to convince me. "It's good you two get along," she says. "I'm glad you could cheer her up."

"That was the idea."

A worry line forms in Katniss's brow. "How did you do it?" she probes softly a moment later.

"Mm, let's see," I muse haughtily. "By acknowledging her feelings. Listening to her."

The brunette catches my eye sourly. "You saying I don't do that?" she demands.

"I'm saying it's rich, you dismissing her like that when you hate being looked down on for your age," I scold her. "You can't stand being treated like a child, so why do that to her?"

"She is a child," scoffs Katniss. I shoot her a dirty look and she tosses a hand for emphasis. "She's not doing what I was doing when I was eleven."

"That doesn't mean she's not capable," I retort.

"That's not even the point. I told you before, I don't want her knowing some of the stuff that goes on around here," she reiterates. Then she blinks away and mutters, "And I don't want her to know the things people might have against our relationship. No need to make her judge you too."

"You've judged me more than anyone, you know," I point out. Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment.

"Yeah, and the verdict came out in your favor." She catches my eye and smiles. "Eventually."

We've reached the hollow log just inside the tree line where she keeps her primary bow and quiver. She unzips the waterproof sheath and extracts them, shaking the string loose from one of my axes. "The patch of herbs my mother wants is near where I meet Gale," she says. "It's not too far from here." I set my helmet down on the log, reach in and remove my weapons. Katniss observes curiously but doesn't comment.

"Then at least you don't have to go out of your way," I mention nonchalantly, mindlessly twirling the hatchets in my hands. Honestly, it's one of the most calming sensations I know.

"Yeah, but I have enough shit to do already," she grumbles, slinging the quiver over her shoulder.

I narrow my eyes inquisitively. "I thought you liked gathering the herbs." When she gazes back at me with equal confusion, I point out, "You talked enough about it." She blushes and bounces her eyes away.

"I find it interesting," she mumbles defensively. "And I'm used to doing it, my mom just has really bad timing. As usual."

"Like when she scared you by disappearing on Tour Day?" I suggest. Katniss shrugs and gives me a small nod. I pitch one of my axes into a nearby tree and pointedly continue, "Because she was off doing her job?"

Katniss's eyes set alight and she sneers, "No, more like when she clocked out right after my dad died, leaving two young kids with no parents." She plants her free hand on her hip and demands, "Why are you defending her?"

"Because I can tell she's trying," I contend. "She's trying to do better. And I'm sure she'd become more helpful a lot sooner if you were more supportive." Katniss scoffs, causing my eyes to narrow again. "Unless you don't want her to be helpful." I sidearm the second axe with a loud grunt and watch proudly as it sticks an inch above and perpendicular to the other blade. I turn back to the hunter and jab, "Then you'd lose the pride you get from leading the family. And you'd have to be civil to her."

If Katniss's eyes were on fire before, they're a blazing, all-consuming inferno now. She shoves me and backs me up against a tree, and I suddenly regret my decision to loose both my axes. Before I have a chance to say anything, she reaches up and pins her bow across my neck, leaning in painfully close. The heat radiating off her burning face shoots through my body and strikes between my legs. My eyes bulge with arousal, which she no doubt misinterprets as fear, given the hint of satisfaction in her expression.

"Shut the fuck up, Mason," she growls. "I'm not taking any more of your shit." I don't care about my shit, I just wish she'd take me. Ugh, no, I can't wish for that yet. "Just because you're my girlfriend now doesn't give you permission to comment on all my relationships. Where do you think you get off telling me how to deal with my own parents all the time? Even my sister, now." She cocks her head and taunts me, "Did your mommy and daddy not love you?"

"N-no," I wheeze, "they did."

"Are they still alive? Still together?" I nod, and she scoffs spitefully. "Then you have nothing to say about it." She jams the bow into my chest and propels herself off of me with that hand. "It's none of your fucking business, anyway."

I rub my neck and retort, "Maybe not, but I know what it's like. To be so devastated by a loss that you are consumed by it." I close in on her and she watches and listens with interest. "You can't move. Part of you wants to, but you're too tired, and what's the point? When Clove betrayed me, it just…" I sigh and shake my head to clear the emotions suddenly flooding it. "I'm not saying her neglect is excusable, but I understand how it could happen, because I know what it feels like to lose something you love, something that means the world to you."

Katniss scans my face perceptively. "Something?" she queries. "Not someone?" She slowly folds her arms. "You were way more attached to the job your girlfriend stole from you than you were to her, weren't you?"

"I'd only been dating Clove a little over a year. I'd been angling for that job since I was ten."

Her eyebrows fly up. "Ten?" she repeats disbelievingly. "Wow, is it a huge deal in Two or something?"

I shrug. "There's a lot of interest in it," I answer evasively.

"Well, then I guess I get why you'd be more upset over that," she admits. Her eyes fall to her fidgeting foot, and I immediately tip her chin up to bring them back.

"It's not like I didn't care about Clove, you know," I reassure her. "Or my relationships in general. But when someone takes something so important from you, you can't help but hate her." I scoff and point at my uniform. "It's because of her that I'm stuck in this gross outfit and even grosser district." Katniss's eyes narrow and I quickly tack on, "Present company excluded, of course. It's mostly the smell that I hate."

"You know, Johanna, you're not doing too bad for yourself," she lectures me. "I know you had to leave your family behind, but you make a decent living as a Peacekeeper. And you get a pension, right?"

"Maybe," I shrug.

"I know you said it's for losers, but I thought being a Peacekeeper was the most prestigious thing you could be, coming from Two. You know, unless you're a vict..." Katniss's mouth slips open as she trails off. Slowly, she turns her head to peek behind her. Her eyes jump from the axes to me and back, widening while she pales. "Oh my god," she whispers. I grab her arm before she can take the next step Prim described. Anger is just overcoming the shock in her expression as she turns back once more.

"You were going to volunteer," she states in a low, dangerous tone. But I'm too frightened of losing her in this moment to be even remotely turned on.

"Katniss–"

"What the ever-loving fuck, Johanna?!" she bellows, snatching her arm out of my grasp.

"Wait," I plead, instinctively reaching for her hand. She slaps mine away before I even get close, unadulterated disdain in her eyes. Suddenly, my uniform feels 50 pounds heavier, my heart like it's quite literally being stabbed out of my chest.

"Don't fucking touch me," she growls. She takes a long look at me, slowly shaking her head. "You're not who I thought you were." Tears spring to my eyes.

"Things are different there, okay?" I desperately explain. I recover an ounce of my sass but mostly just sound resigned when I ask, "What do you want me to say?" Katniss scoffs and turns into the woods, but I scurry around her and block her path before she can take two steps. I brace my hand against her chest like she did to me in the Hob, like I did to her behind the truck. We're always trying to keep each other from running away. Shouldn't that mean she thinks there's something worth saving?

"Really," I insist, "what can I say or do to make this better?"

Katniss stares at me intently, her gaze only briefly deviating over my shoulder, back to the axes. It's a long, breathless moment before she demands, "Train me."

I blink rapidly, and I'm keenly aware of my mouth hanging open. "What?"

"Train me for combat," she repeats. "Teach me everything you know. Your weapons, strategies, everything."

"I…" I swallow and give my head a tiny shake. "I don't understand."

"I'm in there twenty times this year, Hanna. Twenty-eight by the time I age out," she tells me, a distinct waver coloring her otherwise cold tone. I know it. Fear. "The odds aren't in my favor in the bowl, so I need them to be in the arena." I still can only stare, stunned, and she tilts her head. "Do you want to make this better or not?"

"Yes," I agree immediately. "I'm happy to do it." Her eyes fall shut and she releases a tiny sigh. "I was just surprised," I explain. She opens one eye questioningly, though I don't see how this could possibly need spelling out. "The way you talk about the Games, about the Career districts especially, I assumed you'd never ever condone someone training for them." I bite my cheek and toe the dirt. "That's why I didn't tell you," I barely whisper. I finger the material in my hand, deathly afraid of the second she'll pull away. "I knew you'd think I'm a horrible person for training and planning to volunteer."

"Yeah, I'm not gonna volunteer, okay?" she snarks. "This is different. I just want to be prepared."

"Okay," I nod. "I'll make sure you're ready. I would anyway. If you were reaped and killed in the Games, I–" My voice catches and I have to look away and try to swallow the painful lump in my throat. "If you died, I'd be lost," I rasp. I drag my eyes back to Katniss to find her gawking slack-jawed.

"Do you really mean that?" she breathes.

"Yes. I care about you more than you think, I swear," I whisper. "I… I don't wanna lose you." She surely knows I mean lose her to this revelation, not to the Games. Truly, what are the odds of that? An agonizing moment passes before she steps into me and presses her lips to my forehead. I cinch my arms around her, more grateful for her touch than I ever thought I'd be. She nuzzles my hairline and then slowly pulls back. I watch her warily, keeping my hands splayed on her lower back.

"I don't know if I'll ever understand you, Johanna Mason," she mumbles pensively. She gives my left forearm a tiny squeeze with her shooting hand. "I'll see you Thursday," she says. She gives me a once over and adds, "Sober. And bring your battle axe."

A/N: For fans of Lifeblood, I am working on that concurrently, and a good chunk of chapter 16 is finished. I just had more momentum with this fic. I will probably work on LB more in the near future because this is a turning point in this story and a good time to take a breather. FYI.

Thanks to D7P for putting up with shitty drafts written at 2 am. ;)