"You said that?" JJ blurted out before taking another sip of wine. Penelope nodded as she blushed deeply, feeling even worse about how her first interaction had gone with Blake now that she could look back on it after a whole day of work. "And how did she react?"
"She verbally eviscerated me, as was well within her right. I was being super nosy, after all. And I was feeling less than secure about the fact that you weren't there and Strauss was leading the briefing and it all just combined to become a perfect storm of suckitude. God, I am never going to be able to look her in the eye ever again! She must think I am a complete idiot."
JJ reached out and patted her knee encouragingly. "I'm certain it's not as bad as all that, Penelope. Though I do know that she can hold onto a grudge like nobody's business. That was something that Spence filled me in on, during the first case with both Strauss and Blake in the field together. I guess there was a very loud fight the first night out there, and it took both Hotch and Rossi to separate them. There's been a bit of a détente ever since that fight, but it kind of makes me wonder what history is there, you know? And since you seem to be closer to Strauss than any of us, besides Rossi, you have to ferret out what the history is, all right?"
"I can try and see what I can get out of him, yeah. Though I'm super hesitant to rock the boat right now, since everything is so up in the air regarding Blake. We've just returned from London, and I'm off on the wrong foot with her. Ugh, I'm going to have to apologise when they return, aren't I?" She slumped down on the sofa, twirling her wine glass around in her hand as she stared into the dark liquid.
"You probably should, yes, just to keep the peace. I know that it's hard for you to do, but…"
"Until I get you back on the team, I need to keep a good relationship with everyone. I just, ugh, why did I open my mouth and insert my foot so deeply?"
JJ gave her a look as she sipped from her wine glass. "Do you really want my answer to that?" She nodded. "You've already said it, PG. You are notoriously bad at change, and these last few months have been nothing but change, and so you're walking on the edge of a knife, and that's bound to take its toll on you. You were bound to make a gaffe of some sort eventually. In this case, it just happened to come out around the wrong person. But hey, at least you didn't ask her to talk dirty to you," JJ teased, giving her a broad wink before taking another drink of wine.
She groaned before burying her face into her free hand. "Dammit, why must you always bring that up? You know that I thought it was Derek! And besides, Strauss wasn't too upset by it, I didn't receive an official reprimand, after all."
"You can tell yourself that, but you weren't there to see her face. She was livid. Though I don't think that the way we all treated her out there helped, either. Morgan told me that when she accidentally stepped on one of the last victim's hair, she nearly broke down. I knew that everything had just come to a head in that moment, and maybe we drove her to it? I don't know. Ever since the bank incident, she's been a different person, and while I can't see myself being friends with her outside of work, I have the feeling that she has our backs?"
"I totally got that feeling just after the explosion as well. She was very concerned about me just running into the debris to try and find everyone. I guess that it's just odd to see your boss as human, after she's been in her ivory tower for so long." Penelope drank the rest of her wine before refilling her glass and settling back into couch. "So, in happier news that I can actually tell you since you're on leave and won't slip up, but…Derek and I are a couple. We made things official when we were in London, since we both decided that life was too short to dance around our feelings forever."
A wide grin spread across JJ's face as she refilled her own glass before leaning in close to Penelope. "So, what's it like?"
"Incredible," she managed to squeak out, feeling her face become hot with embarrassment. "Like, Kevin is really hairy, so sometimes it felt like I was sleeping with a rather large teddy bear? But Der, he's just sculpted perfection. I sometimes wonder what he can see in a person like me, you know?"
"Penelope, I wish that you wouldn't put yourself down like that. You're gorgeous, with a smile that lights up any room you use it in. And if he likes you enough to be your partner, well, I think that he must like everything about you." JJ stroked her arm lightly before giving her a saucy wink. "And if I was someone who liked women, I would most definitely be attracted to you. Strauss, too, but you didn't hear that from me."
"Is that the wine talking?" she asked, giving JJ's shoulder a little push as she waggled her eyebrows. JJ nodded before taking another sip. "Well, I'll take that secret to the grave with me, then. Now, tell me, what's it like with Spencer?"
"We're not sleeping together yet, Garcia. There hasn't been enough time for me to heal from losing Will the way I did. But he's been so good with Henry, that I can't help but see us sometime in the future having a child together. Hopefully a little girl. I guess that this is my time to be romantic, huh?"
"You are entitled to feel whatever way you feel, Jayje. I just wish that we had been able to figure out what that woman was doing before things got as bad as they did. If I had been better…"
"You did everything you possibly could, Penelope." JJ wrapped her free hand around her knee, squeezing affectionately before letting out a long breath. "Everything about that situation was a clusterfuck. If Will and his partner hadn't been so close to the bank, they both might still be alive. If crisis negotiation had been home rather than overseas, we wouldn't have been there. For the want of a nail, the empire was lost."
JJ pursed her lips together, taking a few deep breaths through her nose to calm herself, and Penelope covered her hand with her own as she nodded. "I know, that still doesn't clear the guilt from my heart, though? I loved Emily, and taking care of Sergio will be a very painful reminder of her loss, but we keep moving forward, despite that. Right?"
"Right." JJ gave her a quick little smile before taking a drink and then looking at the fireplace. "It's just that moving forward can be so difficult. And I promise, with time, I'll return to the BAU, and we can kick ass together once more. Brains and the Beast." Penelope giggled a little at that before scooting closer to her friend and starting to prod her for more details about what life with Spencer was like, knowing that the topic would be certain to lift the slightly maudlin mood that had started to descend upon the room.