Title: Shades
author: Cindy Ryan
Spoiler: 2x11
category: missing scene, slight AU
This wasn't the first time Tim Bradford had dealt with guilt. He knew it wouldn't be the last. This time guilt had so many shades to it that Tim didn't know how to start to deal with it. Rachel had gently told him to start with talking to Lucy. Tim knew she was trying to help but her suggestion was the hardest part. It was well past midnight and Tim sat in the darkness of Lucy's hospital room. She'd woken a couple times but hadn't been very coherent. Grace had given her something to help her sleep so between that and the pain meds Tim didn't think Lucy knew he was there. Yet, he couldn't leave.
Minutes crept by. Lucy shifted in her sleep; the sheet slipping down. It revealed bruises. More bruises than he'd been aware of. Anger burned in Tim's gut but he wasn't sure who it was aimed at. Tim leaned forward and gently pulled the sheet and blanket back up. He leaned back in the visitor's chair and closed his eyes. His body screamed for rest but his brain wouldn't let it.
'We have an officer buried alive!'
Grey's command to the airship echoed through Tim's tired tortured thoughts. The image of the ring glinting in the sun passed by his mind's eye. Tim almost hadn't seen it. If he'd looked twenty degrees in another direction. If a cloud had gone over the sun. If the helicopter had flown over kicking up the dirt; covering it. Tim still didn't know how she'd managed to drop the ring before being put in her prison. She must've been so afraid yet had thought enough to leave bread crumbs. Everyone said Tim had saved her; but in truth Lucy had saved herself.
Saved herself after she'd been put in hell from his advice. Tim knew he had to make this right, but he was at a loss as to how. Despite everything he'd formed a bond with Lucy. She'd broken down walls that no one had made an effort to. She'd cared enough to keep him on the straight and narrow when he'd wanted to help Isabel. He'd almost crossed a line, but Lucy had pulled him back.
With a heavy sigh Tim opened his eyes and sat up. He scrubbed a hand over his face. If Lucy never forgave him Tim would understand. It'd kill him to not have her in his life, but he would understand. That was what was tugging on him the most. What haunted him as he waited to talk to her. The what ifs. Did she hate him? Would she think of the kidnapping every time she looked at him?
"Tim?"
Lucy's soft hoarse voice startled him. He'd been so lost in thought that he hadn't noticed she'd woken. Her brown eyes were clear, but anguished. Lucy's skin was pale against the white sheets. The bruises and cuts harsh in the moonlight coming through the window. Tim cleared his throat.
"Right here, boot. Go back to sleep."Tim said softly.
Tim wasn't sure if Lucy heard something in his voice or read an emotion on his face but she reached out her right hand for his. She linked their hands and he felt her squeeze his. Tim squeezed hers back. He saw her eyes drift closed once more.
"I don't blame you."Lucy said quietly. "Wasn't your fault."
Tim felt his breath hitch as he enclosed Lucy's hand with both of his. Some of the shades of guilt began to fade at his partner's words. Tim knew some would stay but that was a penance he'd deal with.
end