Chapter 13
Lofty Heights
The group had faced quite the close call, but were saved in the nick of time thanks to a returning Sentina. With the tyrannical Mecha Saladramon out of commission, our heroes could begin making their way around the great lake, their final goal drawing closer in sight. But will this good fortune last for long?
(We see our heroes strolling along the great lake's shore. After a bit they halt before a massive pile of water-logged waste blocking their path)
Gray: A wall of debris? How'd that end up here?
Cope: We'll just cut our way through. No prob.
Will: Actually, there is.
(The camera pulls back and swivels to reveal that on the other side of the wall is nothing but water. No shoreline can be seen, as the Jedi discern whilst leaning to the side)
Jo: A dead end?!
Will: Yep, for this side anyway.
Anna: We spent an hour walking this far! Does this mean we seriously have to go around the other way?
Rick: It's either that or swim, which I'm highly opposed to.
Cope: Same.
Squishy: Don't think anyone wants a dip after that previous fight.
Sam Jackson: Well something's gotta go down; I ain't spending the day here all exposed and sunning myself while you're deliberating.
?: Oi! You down there!
(The group looks up. Coming down to them slowly are three winged creatures. One of them is a great red-scaled dragon with an aged, friendly look about it. Next to it are two smaller yet identical gray dragons bearing a pixilated look. They land softly before the group)
Lann: Holy crap, it's Draco!
Draco: I see my reputation precedes me. Or at least my name. Who might you be?
Lann: Lannius Drasec, sir. Full-Time Dragon Scholar. The others are friends of mine just traveling along.
Jo: Hey, you're the tagalong here!
Draco: Then who be the leader of this party?
Jo: I am: Joseph Webbol, Jedi Grand Master.
Anna: And highly touchy about his ego.
(Jo snarls slightly)
Sylvia: So Lann, this Draco—
Lann: Is from "Dragonheart". A pretty good movie in my opinion.
Sylvia: Oh.
Squishy: I know those other two. They're the Wind Drakes from Final Fantasy V: Hiryuu and What's-His-Name.
Draco: Is that what they are? I couldn't figure that out. In fact, I could hardly understand their dialect. But the look in their eyes when I found them made it clear they needed some helpful guidance. Naturally, being a fellow kinsman of the air, I obliged.
Sara: So what are you doing here, Mr. Draco?
Draco: I was about to ask you the same. You're the first group of humans or human-like beings we found. For a whole week we've seen nothing but dragons of all kinds. Then practically sprung up from this fertile earth we find this curious group of humans in robes accompanied by some of the oddest creatures I ever beheld. So I'd rather want to know why you're here.
Sally: We're on a mission to find out where you and all these other dragons are coming from, to be honest.
Draco: Really? Then maybe you can find out how to get me back to my homeland. Sure, its rampant with human strife, but all these dragons are far too combative. I'm not used to such raw ferocity.
Will: We were heading for the mountains at the other side of the lake, but there's no land between here and there.
Draco: Well that is a shame, especially considering that there's no shore on the other side either.
Sam Jackson: Then s*** on a shingle, guess I'm gonna work on that tan after all!
Draco: However, there is one option. I was thinking me and these Wind Drakes could simply carry you over to the other side. Divided evenly, we should be able to manage your entire group.
Anna: Huh? A free ride? Thank you Gods of Podiatry for this merciful blessing, thank you!
Lann: And on dragonback. Definitely not an offer to pass up.
Sara: It could be romantic flying over the lush scenery and waters, eh Will?
Will: I suppose.
Draco: Aye. Only, there's just one small little problem with that notion. The air over the lake is swarming with all kinds of brutish nasties, and as the distance over the lake is great, attacks are practically assured.
Anna: (Sigh) There just had to be a catch.
Draco: Hmmm. I wonder… Are you per chance warriors?
Lann: Yep.
Sally: The galaxy's finest!
Gray: Ha ha, you bet! (Brandishes arm blades)
Sam Jackson: Ehhhh… I've played a couple. Did most of the stunts. Don't think that really qualifies me—
Draco: Excellent. If you are experienced fighters, you could ward off any attackers as we make our way over. I'll use my fire to help as well, but the numbers may be vast, so we'll need all the defenses we can muster.
Jo: We'll have that covered.
Rick: Big time.
Anna: I'll light up the sky if need be.
Lann: We'll fight if necessary.
Sam Jackson: Uh, yeah. I'll just focus on hanging on.
Draco: Good; I like your spirits. You show more confidence than a certain warrior I know.
Stan: Uh, yep! That's us: confident.
Jo: Alright, let's load up!
Squishy: I get Hiryuu!
(After a while everyone has found their places: The four girls on one Wind Drake; Stan, Sam Jackson, Cope and Squishy on the other; and the remaining five men on Draco's back)
Squishy: Ah dude this is gonna be so killer!
Cope: Why'd I end up with you?
Jo: We ought to get to the other side before dark, so we better get moving, Draco.
Draco: Before dark? Boy, with wings like mine, we'll be there in time for afternoon tea. Now hang tight; we're lifting off!
(With a great flapping of wings Draco and the Wind Drakes push off from the ground and head for the sky. Soon they're soaring several hundred feet and begin gliding gently over the massive lake. The passengers take the time to marvel the breathtaking scenery below and around them)
Sylvia: So much forest… Like Endor, but far more diverse.
Draco: Eyes steady, lads and lassies. I smell company.
(Sure enough, far ahead of them several small green dragons appear and are closing. Battle music from "Panzer Dragoon Orta" starts to play)
Jo: Light opposition. Let's do this!
(Draco and the Wind Drakes hold their course. Soon the attacking dragons arrive and do a quick fly-by, attempting to take nips only to be met with lightsabers. Two dragons are taken out, leaving only four to circle around the group. They make more biting passes but keep missing and receiving hits. Draco decimates one dragon with a fireball)
Sally: Awesome, Draco!
Draco: Twas nothing!
Will: Second wave!
(Move small dragons appear in the distance)
Cope: Once more unto the breach, then!
(He flings his saber, which goes in a circle around the group, chopping up the remaining first wave and some of the new arrivals. The rest of them come at the group fast, leading to some evasive maneuvers. The heroes keep warding them off, though one manages to latch onto Hiryuu)
Sam Jackson: AAH! (Clocks the dragon with a right hook, sending it plunging to a watery death) Ain't letting you b****rds eat me again!
Sara: There's more coming!
Jo: Almost like they've been waiting for us!
Draco: I don't know if that's true, but survival is our main focus!
(Breathes fire that torches a few dragons. This aerial battle goes on a bit longer, with the attackers thinning out)
Stan: We're almost through with these!
Sally: Better hope more won't come!
(More enemies fall. Soon the last dragon is vanquished)
Will: That's the last of them!
Draco: Huzzah! Great work, friends! A truly commendable display. It should be smooth gliding from here on out.
Sara: Thank goodness. (A heavy, mechanical flapping is heard) What's that sound?
(Slowly rising up from below comes a large mechanical dragon of green, yellow, black and white parts, with huge clawed legs and arms and two mecha wings keeping it aloft)
Squishy: Holy crap! It's the Robo-Dragon from Mega Man X4!
(The Robo-Dragon pulls back and rises high above the group. It then opens its mouth, gathers energy and fires a wide beam. Draco and the Wind Drakes juke sideways to miss it by inches)
Anna: Laser Beams?! He's firing freakin' laser beams at us!
Gray: Well here's mine!
(Gray looks at the dragon, breathes deep and exhales a great stream of static energy. It hits the bot, making it miss a flap and falter)
Jo: Gray, how'd you do that?
Gray: My gauge was full, and that was one of my special attacks.
Jo: Oh. Forgot about that.
(The Robo-Dragon speeds past the group from below and rises a long ways from them. It turns to face them, then rears back and emits a metallic, ear-splitting screech/roar. Suddenly the air around it floods with dragons of all shapes and sizes, looking riled up)
Draco: By my Great Scottish Accent I have never beheld so many dragons!
(The dragons fly at our heroes and buzz around them, putting Draco and the Wind Drakes in constant evasive mode)
Draco: It's no good, Captain! There are too many dragons in the way for us to continue! Unless we do something soon, then we're Doooomed!
Jo: We're probably gonna get swallowed up if we just sit around, guys!
Will: So we get up close and personal!
Jo: Right! Willing Jedi: HO!
(He leaps from Draco, followed by Will and Cope and Rick)
Squishy: Yeehaw! The thrill of aerial combat comes once again!
Stan: Yeeeah, I think I'll just sit this one out, dad. Hold the fort, y'know?
Squishy: You won't get over your fear of heights just sitting around, son. Now come on! (Snags Stan and leaps off)
Sam Jackson: What the H**l are they doing!?
Gray: Don't know, but I want in! Cowabungaa!
(Also leaps. The men fly into the thick of the dragon storm and split)
Anna: (Sigh) Boys and their unnecessary machismo. Why skydive when you can ELECTRIFY!
(Anna unleashes a massive Force Lightning storm around her Wind Drake, frying any nearby dragons and forming a defensive barrier against any other. Meanwhile, the foolhardy aerial warriors go about doing their own means of offensive clean-up. Jo and Will hop from one dragon to another, lopping off wings and necks with each stop. Cope simply falls through the air slashing anything in his general vicinity. Squishy goes for a smaller group of dragons, leaving Stan to flop through the air and bounce off some winged reptiles, but Rick comes up and stops his tumble)
Rick: Do I have to watch your sorry butt all the time? Get on something and do some work!
(Tosses Stan onto a large dragon and leaves him)
Stan: I didn't ask for help!
(Dragons come at him and he barely wards them off with claw and saber. Elsewhere, Gray is basically a whirlwind of flaming steel from which nothing can escape unscathed. At some point, Cope and Jo end up back-to-back)
Jo: Where'd you come from?
Cope: I'm a bit swamped!
Jo: Same here! Say, it's been awhile. We should join-up.
Cope: A team attack?
Jo: Yep, just like the ol' days.
Cope: Now that's my kind of nostalgia.
Jo: So let's start!
Cope: Yeah!
(They perform fast and furious synchronized slashes that creates a barrier of sizzling death while at the same time displaying their flexibility and acrobatic prowess. This goes on for a while until both their saber hilts start glowing)
Jo: We've hit the mark!
Cope: You know what that means!
Jo: At the same time!
Cope: On my mark!
Jo: Ready,
Cope: Set,
All: Zhao Devastation Attack!
(Both of them enter a trance state of glowiness where they perform lightning slashes at an incredible speed. A combo counter appears on the screen's lower right corner and increases steadily as the kills rack up. The two exchange, combine, and flow with their weapons. Then Jo leaps high above Cope, saber flashing)
Jo: Raggle Fraggle—
Cope: Son of a B***h Finisher—
Both: HAA!
(Jo throws down his saber, creating a blast zone that sends a devastating shockwave which clears the immediate area of dragons. The combo meter stops at 250x as the two pals strike a pose)
PERFECT!
BLOODTHIRSTY GENERAL BONUS!
Jo: That's how it's done in the Dynasty.
Cope: Ho yeah. We're bad-a** alright.
(Squishy comes up to them)
Squishy: Holy s**t what did you just do?
Jo: We kicked major dragon a** that's what.
Squishy: God-D**n that was serious overkill!
(Rick appears)
Rick: Not quite; there's still a lot left.
(Screen fills up with fresh dragons)
Cope: Crap! Does it ever end?
Jo: We're just gonna have to cut a path through! Everyone, down!
(They descend, with the other fighters following suit. They end up back atop Draco)
Draco: Guh! Too much weight!
Anna: So you boys have your fun?
Will: Not entirely. Why'd we stop, Jo?
Jo: The stream is endless. Our only hope is to to go forward and out of this. Draco! We're gonna clear the front! You follow behind!
Draco: I gotcha, Joseph!
Jo: Come on, peeps! Forward! (Leaps forward into the dragon storm)
Stan: Oh not again…
Squishy: Come on Stan, it's easy! (Leaps off, followed by most of the others)
Stan: Sigh…
(Leaps off too. Now we see the warriors jumping across dragons and slashing them in every direction whilst moving forward. At some point they reach several serpentine Asian dragons, where they split up once again. Gray and Will run along a great orange Chinese dragon, while Jo and Cope and Squishy run up and fight Shenron from Dragon Ball. Stan, meanwhile, is running in a constant loop on the inside track of the Ouroboros)
Stan: What's going on, mine isn't going anywhere! (Ricks comes over and slices the snake, letting Stan run out) Thanks!
Rick: Sure.
(Rejoins the fray. After a while Jo and Will halt atop one dragon)
Will: I think we're almost out of it!
(Suddenly a Red Eyes Black Dragon rises up and readies a fire attack, but then it becomes encased in ice and falls away. That's when Lann lands right next to the two)
Lann: Figured I'd finally get in on some action. Keep up! (Leaps away)
Jo: You're one to talk Mr. Late-To-The-Party!
(Leaps off. The band soon regroup and travel across the remaining dragons. At some point a fireball knocks them off course and onto the back of a great red cel-shaded dragon)
Stan: Ah! I got this one! (Readies saber but Lann stops him)
Lann: No; it's Valoo from Wind Waker. He can help. (Puts fingers to his head and enters Random Telepathy) Have no fear; we are friends. The other dragons are bad except Draco and the Wind Drakes. Fry the others and get us to safety.
Valoo: (In Plain English) I don't know how you did that, but okay!
(The great dragon goes around torching the other dragons, assisted by some fire from Draco. Soon everything is almost clear)
Squishy: You did it Lann!
Lann: Nothing to it.
Jo: This Valoo guy kicks a**!
Cope: I could have told ya that.
(There is a cry. Nearby, the Robo-Dragon is still hovering in place)
Gray: There's the guy that started this whole thing!
Will: Let's finish it!
Lann: Valoo! Sic 'em!
(Valoo barks and shoots for the Robo-Dragon, but as he draws near, eight hideous dragons of a deformed look, missing eyes, with long necks and oily leather skin shoot up from a cloud bank below. They give hideous screeches similar to those of dying monsters)
Lann: Oh crap—
Squishy: Dragonmares!
(The necks of the hideous dragons glow green, and from their mouths balls of green energy are spewed forth. Valoo dives and dodges to avoid the rapid fire, in turn upending the riders, falling off him. After their initial fire the Dragonmares get into a tight formation and shoot forward at sonic speed. Valoo fails to avoid this charge and gets hit, immediately bursting into a cloud of red paper confetti that rains and flutters around our falling heroes)
Squishy: Oh S**t they killed Valoo!
Cope: B****rds, the lot of them!
(Now the Dragonmares' attention turn toward the falling heroes. They turn and dive at screaming speeds toward them)
Gray: Incoming!
(The guys start waving their arms to spread out and avoid the attacking monstrosities. When they pass and miss they quickly turn back and go after each person individually. This leads to Jedi and warrior sparring mid-air with the Dragonmares, clanging at teeth and claw and being pushed back from each deflected blow. As they're thrown back the fighters turn to kick off from one another to keep in the fray. This exchange continues as the great lake grows closer and closer)
Will: They're lining up!
(Indeed, the Dragonmares form a side-to-side formation and shoot straight forward)
Jo: Take your picks: we're finishing this!
(The Dragonmares reach them, but in a split second everyone manages to flip, avoid their teeth, and land and take hold of their backs. The monstrosities separate, spiraling and bucking to knock off their unwanted passengers)
Squishy: Whoa, steady girl steady!
Cope: Relent you fiend!
Gray: Yeehaw! Ride 'em Dragon Slayer!
Stan: (Flopping about) Oh God Oh God OH God can't hold crap crap crap!
(Somehow they all manage to control the beasts and fly away from each other. Then they turn their mounts around and aim for the lone Robo-Dragon. They increase speed, and at the last second they leap off, or in Stan's case lose their grip. All the Dragonmares collide with Robo and each other, causing a massive explosion similar in look to a miniature nuke. Our triumphant heroes soar casually and land softly atop Draco and Hiryuu)
Draco: You did it! I don't know how but you mopped the sky with those dragons! I'm impressed beyond words.
Jo: What can I say? We're simply magic.
Lann: Space magic, more like it.
Cope: Certainly how Lucas originally envisioned it.
Gray: Guess this is another incredible feat to put down in my memoirs.
Sara: You were great, Will!
Anna: Good going Jo, and Alex too!
Sally: You held up pretty decently, Stan.
Stan: You think so?
Jo: You survived, didn't you? Coupled with taking out a few dragons yourself, that's d*** near astronomically proficient in your case.
Stan: Oh come on.
(Everyone has a good laugh, including Draco. We now turn to the woods on the opposite shore of the lake. In the shade of some trees, something wheezes while watching the three dragons through a scope. It holds steady and focuses for some terse seconds. Then, with the squeeze of a trigger, the sound of thunder. In the air, a great hole forms in Draco's left wing, making him jolt his passengers)
Draco: Agh! I've been hit!
(More shots ring out, and bloody holes start popping up on the limbs and wings of the Wind Drakes. More wounds start appearing on Draco as well)
Anna: Dear Christ who's shooting at us?!
Jo: I don't know!
Draco: Grah, I'm hurt too bad! I can't hold up much longer!
(A bullet hits Hiryuu in the forehead, resulting in a massive spray of pixilated brain matter that startles everyone. The Wind Drake loses all life and plummets like a gray sack of meat)
Sally: DAAAAAD!
Sam Jackson: Oh F**k MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(The two remaining dragons begin succumbing to their wounds and tilt downward)
Draco: We're going down! Oh sweet haggis we're going down!
Will: Déjà vu!
(They all go careening and screaming downward into the thick forest below, crashing as the screen instantly blacks out)