A/N It's finally here! It's my plan to finish this up in the next few weeks. If anyone's here to still read it, that will be a bonus. Please leave a note (not that I deserve them).

The next morning as various members of the staff shared their morning cuppa together, Anna could tell John was distracted.

"Are you alright?" she asked him quietly.

"Hmmm, yeah, sure, why?"

"You're fidgeting worse than a 5 year old."

"Oh," John looked a bit taken aback, "I didn't realize. I'm sorry. I have a meeting this morning I'm a little worried about."

"Anything I can do to help?" Anna volunteered.

"No," John smiled weakly, "but thanks for the offer."

How could he tell her that his meeting was with Matthew in order to get an update on his divorce? Spending the day with Anna and his mum the day before had only served to give John a glimpse of the future he wanted and the future he was beginning to believe he was truly ready for. The only thing that would have made it more perfect is if there had been a few children who looked exactly like Anna running around. And maybe a dog. He had always liked dogs.

More than that, his time with Anna on the couch last night reminded him that it was becoming more and more difficult for him to maintain any physical boundaries between them. It didn't help at all to know that if he did push, Anna would be a willing participant. It wasn't fair to make her wait for their relationship to be all she wanted it to be, but it was important to him to be able to give himself to her completely when he finally "gave himself to her completely."

"John," Anna nudged him, "Heavens, you really are miles away. It's time to go."

John laughed at himself and finished off the last of his tea, "Thanks. What would I do without you?"

Anna smiled and winked, "Let's just make sure you never have to find out."

She meant it as a joke, but in John's current mood, Anna's comment had the effect of ice water in his veins. Would keeping his distance be the thing that finally caused Anna to decide he wasn't worth the wait?

Just then, Joseph Molesley called from the door, "Anna, we'd better get up to the presentation room. We have to finish planning for that Paris trip."

Anna waved in Joseph's direction, then turned back to John, "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Sure," John answered, "You go on ahead. I'll see you later?"

"Of course, I want to hear all about how your meeting went."

John gave her another weak smile and watched her walk off down the hall with Moseley.

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A few minutes later, he walked into Matthew's office and greeted Ethel.

"Is he available?" John asked.

"He's expecting you, Mr. Bates," she said over the top of a magazine she was flipping through, "Go on in."

John went to the door and knocked before peeking his head inside, "Are you ready for me?"

"Bates, come in," the younger man said, rising to shake John's hand, "Good to see you. Please, sit down."

John sat on the very edge of the chair Matthew offered him. He leaned his elbows on his knees and brought his fingers to rest against his mouth, "Do you have any news for me?"

"Unfortunately, no. I do have business near the solicitor's office this afternoon though. I thought I might stop by and see if I can give him a nudge to get things moving."

"You don't have to go to all that trouble..." John hesitated, "but I'd appreciate it if you did." He hated making demands on other people, but he was desperate to get the ball rolling.

"It's really not a problem," Matthew insisted, "But I do have a couple of ideas I want to run by you. It might actually be to our advantage that they haven't gotten back to us yet."

"Oh?"

"I think we should add two stipulations to the inclusion of the house in the settlement."

"Matthew, I appreciate you looking out for my interests, but really, I don't care anymore. I just want this to happen as quickly as possible."

"So you've said," Matthew agreed, "that's why I think we should insist that Vera let you file the petition for divorce and we get a guarantee that she won't dispute the grounds."

John furrowed his brows, "I don't understand. What difference does it make who files?"

"A great deal as it turns out. How much do you know about getting a divorce?"

"Enough to know I want one."

Matthew smiled before continuing, "There are four basic steps to the process: filing the petition, submitting the division of assets, receiving the decree nisi, and then finally acquiring the decree absolute."

"Everyone knows that."

"Fair point, but did you know that someone has to apply for the decree absolute? It doesn't just automatically happen."

"I've heard that, yes. Then you have to wait six weeks and a day after the decree nisi before you can apply for the decree absolute, or some such nonsense. Murray explained all this to me," John added, feeling impatient, not with Matthew, but with the process.

"It's six weeks and a day if the petitioner files for the decree absolute. If the respondent files, he or she has to wait three months. If Vera files the divorce petition, she can simply forgo filing for the decree absolute and you won't be able to do anything about it for three more months. From what you've told me, you don't want to have to wait that long."

John shook his head, "No, I don't. And it would be just like Vera to do something that spiteful. She'd hate the thought that I've found happiness when she hasn't. That's why I have to keep my relationship with Anna a secret."

"Speaking of happiness, how are things going between you two?" Matthew asked with a smile.

The grin returned to John's face, "Too good to wait three extra months, I can tell you that."

"Glad to hear it. To tell you the truth, I don't want this divorce to stretch out either. I'm not sure I can hold Mary at bay for that long. Despite her behavior at the party the other night, she's desperate for things to be free and clear for you and Anna."

John smirked, "That's a good omen. As long as I've known her, Mary Crawley has always managed to get exactly what she wants, one way or the other."

"Including me," Matthew joked, "So you see, my sense of urgency in this matter is almost as great as yours."

"We make a good team," John slapped his knees and began to rise, "Anything else?"

Matthew stood as well, readying to shake John's hand, "I don't think so. I'll let you know what I find out from the solicitor this afternoon. Is it alright if I text you?"

John shook Matthew's hand and opened the door, "Sure, and thanks Matthew. You don't know how much this means to me."

"No worries, Bates. I'll contact you later."

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On his way back to his desk, John stopped by Mary's office to see Anna. Although he hadn't exactly gotten good news from Matthew, he felt better knowing that Mary's husband was on his team. Matthew seemed to be thinking more creatively than Murray ever had and took Vera's personality more into account. All in all, John was feeling hopeful.

He greeted Gwen warmly then made his way to Anna's desk, "Do you have a minute?"

"I always have a minute for you, Mr. Bates," she smiled, "Are you on your way back from your meeting? How did it go?"

He sat on the corner of her desk and played with a stack of papers there. "Not as well I as I wanted it to, but better than I feared. Can I tell you about it over lunch?"

Anna grimaced, "I can't. I'm having lunch with Joseph."

John frowned and she hurried to continue, "Mary called me about ten minutes into my meeting with him and demanded I get this report done for her this morning. She's panicked that it won't be finished before the holidays and he's panicked I won't be prepared for our trip."

"Paris," John interrupted.

"What?"

"You're going to Paris with Moseley," John repeated, not making eye contact.

"That's what I said."

"No," John insisted, "You said France. But you're not just going to France, you're going to Paris. The romance capital of the world."

"Does that bother you?" Anna asked sincerely, trying to keep the indulgent smile off her face. There wasn't anything she could do about the trip, it was part of her job, but she could at least try to make John feel better about it if it was really bothering him.

"Bother me?" John looked up, shaking his private thoughts away, and denying what was obviously true, "Of course not. Anyway," he said, getting up from the desk, "I better let you get back to it."

As he was walking toward the door, Anna called, "We could do dinner." She spoke quietly, so only he could hear, "I think you owe me a romantic night out anyway."

"Are you sure you have the time?" he grumbled.

Anna rolled her eyes, "For you? I'll make the time."

John visibly brightened, "Will you.? Shall I make a reservation then?"

"Yes, please," Anna smiled.

"Anywhere in particular you want to go?"

"I trust you completely," she teased.

"I wouldn't go that far," he smirked.

"Silly Beggar. Get out of here so I can get some work done. Otherwise Joseph will make me work through dinner too."

John threw her a knee-weakening smile, "Well, we can't have that."

In the elevator on the way to his office, John thought about his exchange with Anna. He wasn't sure whether he believed Joseph's sole motivation for demanding time with her before their trip was because he wanted to be prepared. It was clear to almost everyone but Anna that Joseph fancied her. He was always lending her books and hoping they could 'discuss' them together. And his voice got just a bit louder and more animated whenever she entered a room. It drove John crazy.

In the next moment, he laughed at himself. Joseph Moseley was probably the most guiless person he had ever met. The man didn't have a devious bone in his body. In fact, he was a nice enough fellow and Anna would probably be better off choosing Moseley's uncomplicated life over his own.

He felt slightly ashamed at how much the younger man irritated him. And this whole thing about Anna and Moseley spending three days together in Paris? The bloody 'City of Love'? Who knew what kinds of emotions could fly? John knew for a fact that he'd have a hard time controlling his feelings if he and Anna were the ones going to Paris. Why should Joseph be any different?

But he couldn't let his jealous feelings get the better of him. He hadn't exactly been at his best in Anna's office and he knew she could tell. He was just lucky that she tended to look past all his shortcomings and see only the good in him, what little there was.

Determined to be so charming at dinner that Anna wouldn't even remember who Joseph Moseley was, he walked back to his office and called the restaurant.

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At the end of the day, John met Anna at the door to Mary's office and quickly helped her into her coat.

"So, where are we going?" she smiled up at him as she pulled her ponytail from under her collar.

The brief movement sent a tingle all through him and John wondered if he would ever get over the electricity he felt whenever she was near. He couldn't imagine he would. They had known each other for several years now and the feeling was only getting stronger.

"I couldn't get us into Cafe Milano on such short notice so close to the holidays. Not even by using Robert's name. We'll have to settle for that new gastro pub he's been going on and on about."

They were at the elevator bank now and Anna leaned in and whispered, "I'm not really going for the food, Mr. Bates."

Quickly, before the people down the hallway got to them, John answered, "But I promised you a romantic evening."

"Well in that case," Anna raised her eyebrows, "perhaps we should skip the restaurant all together."

John flinched at Anna's words then immediately cursed himself for doing so. So much for being so charming Anna would forget all about Moseley.

"Don't worry, John," Anna reassured him, disappointment clear on her face, "I'm only joking." She was frustrated that there was a strain between them these days when she made flirty comments. It hadn't been that way before they started dating and it made her a bit sad.

"Anna," John began to apologize, but before he could get very far, others had joined them at the elevators and he was forced into silence.

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As they walked to the restaurant, John tentatively reached for Anna's hand. She took it and gave it a squeeze to reassure him that everything was alright. At least she thought it was. She felt they needed to talk about it in order to avoid unnecessary guilt on both sides. Why did relationships have to be so difficult, even between two people who were meant to be together the way she and John were?

They got to their table and made small talk while perusing their menus. Once they ordered, John wasted no time asking, "So how was your meeting with Molesley?"

"Oh, you know Joseph," Anna replied easily, "he's a nice man, but he's always more high strung than he needs to be. We'll be fine after we practice our presentation another time or two."

"He is a nice man," John agreed.

Anna was a bit taken aback by John's statement, "That's kind of you to say."

"In fact," he continued, "maybe you should…"

Suddenly, Anna understood why John had complimented Joseph and knew what he was about to say next.

"Don't you dare, John Bates. I know what you're going to say, and I don't want to hear it!"

"What?" John argued innocently.

"You're about to say that Joseph fancies me…"

"He does."

"And that I'd be better off to choose him."

"You would."

"Except for two things," Anna continued with determination.

John didn't respond, but raised his eyebrows in a questioning manner.

"One, I don't fancy him and I never have. Two, I won't be better off with anyone else because I'm already in…" she stopped herself just in time, "because I want to pursue this relationship with you. It marriage won't last forever. I can wait."

Just then, the waiter brought their drinks and starter. They remained silent until he had gone.

When they were alone again, John leaned forward and lowered his voice, "I have some news on that front. I spoke with Matthew today, that's what my meeting this morning was about."

"I thought you said it didn't go as well as you'd hoped."

"I did, but he texted me later in the day and he's made an appointment for he and I to meet with Vera and her lawyer right after the new year. I think things are finally going to be resolved once and for all."

Anna loved the look of hope in John's eyes. They were sparkling in the way they only ever did for her.

Anna sighed in frustration, "And I won't be here to hear how it goes. Not that I have a right to ask," she added.

"You have every right to ask," John insisted, "and I promise to call you with any news I have the moment I have it. After all, as long as you insist on waiting for me, this meeting affects your future just as much as it affects mine."

Anna teared up a bit, "What a lovely thing to say."

John reached across the table and took her hand, "Anna, you must know how I feel about you. How I've always felt about you."

"I do. I think I do. And then sometimes I think I don't," she looked down and played with her food.

John let go of her hand, "I'm so sorry."

She looked up quickly, "Don't, don't be sorry."

She was about to say more, but the their meals arrived and they had to wait for the server to leave again.

"Don't be sorry," she repeated. She hesitated a moment, then said, "I wanted to talk to you about something too. Things have been a little awkward between us since we started dating. I'm sure you've noticed."

"I have, but Anna, it's all my fault."

"No John, it's not. It's my fault too. I keep saying things I would have said when we were just friends but now they're laden with double meanings. Well, not that they weren't before, but then they were fun and flirty. Now they make you feel guilty. I see it in your face every time. But John, I don't want you to feel guilty. Can't we just enjoy our time together like we did before?"

"I'm trying Anna, I really am, but now that I know I'm holding back from you all that you want me to be, I just," he ran his hand through his hair in frustration, "you're right, I just feel so guilty. I know I'm disappointing you and I can't stand it."

"You're not disappointing me!"

John gave Anna a look that said he knew better.

"Alright, yes, I do get disappointed," she admitted, "but that's my problem, not yours. You've been perfectly clear about what you're willing to do and not do until your divorce is finalized." She sighed in frustration, "Look, let's both stop feeling guilty. This isn't about who's wrong and who's right. It's about being right for each other. And I know we are. This new phase in our relationship, this dating thing, it's meant to be enjoyable. Let's just take it for what it is. I'll be content that you are actively seeking a divorce in order to be with me and you can feel secure in the fact that I'll still be here whenever you're ready. I'm not going anywhere John. I couldn't even if I did think it was the right thing to do. Which I don't."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. And if we flirt and have fun in the meantime, let's not make any more of it than we have to. As you said, our feelings for each other were there before we started dating, and they're there now. We just know for sure what they are now. That should make us more confident, not less."

John smiled a silly smile, "I hate the fact that your always right. You know that don't you?"

Anna took a big bite of her sandwich and smiled, "Get used to it."

"I haven't so far," John laughed.

"Well, there's plenty of time. As I said, I'm not going anywhere."

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That evening was one of the best they had spent together since they had started dating. After dinner, John walked Anna back to her flat and stayed until neither of them could pretend it wasn't as late as it was. They watched a few programmes Anna had recorded and sipped tea, sharing biscuits off the same plate. They both felt completely relaxed and on the same page. Their discussion at dinner, though not as romantic as John had hoped, he mentioned, had cleared the air completely.

They only thing that threw the least bit of a damper on the evening was the fact that they discussed their plans for the holidays, which neither of them found as exciting as they once had. Robert had magnanimously decided to close the office from noon on Christmas Eve until the morning of January 2nd. Anna was spending the entire time at her family's farm in Yorkshire and John was taking his mother to visit her cousins in Scotland. They wouldn't see each other for over a week.

John was grousing about that very thing as he kissed Anna goodnight.

Ever the ray of sunshine, Anna smiled up and him and said, "Well at least we'll see each other at work tomorrow, and Wednesday. And we have the Secret Santa party tomorrow night. That will give us more time together."

"We won't be alone though, will we?" John pointed out. "I'll be playing DJ again and you'll be dancing with every able bodied bloke in the room."

"And thinking only of you," she whispered, raising on her tiptoes to kiss John's cheek, "Shall I wear something wonderful to help you enjoy the view?"

"You could wear a sack from the market and you'd still be the best looking woman in the room," he growled.

"Who's turn is it to be strong?" Anna sighed.

"I don't know," he chuckled, "but it's past midnight and as we both know, you're not a morning person. I'd hate for you to be too tired to practice your presentation with Moseley tomorrow."

Anna had to laugh at the sarcasm in John's voice, "Wouldn't you just," she replied.

"Well," he smiled, turning toward the lift, "that's my story and I'm sticking to it."