Another Insanity Magnet?

I don't own 'Harry Potter' or 'Bleach'

Crossover: 'Harry Potter' x 'Bleach'; slash

Harry had always been fast at running, and though he hated it being because of his bullies he'd taken advantage of the ability every chance he needed it.

Fighting a war as a teenager was one thing, but when he had to speed through the streets of a muggle town from some thugs threatening to beat him was kind of annoying. The idiots screaming at him and threatening to 'teach him a lesson' were more annoying than anything. Compared to a sociopathic megalomaniac hell-bent on world domination, a few morons who didn't seem to have a proper plan didn't inspire much fear.

But they were fast, faster than Harry had anticipated and they wouldn't leave him alone. Harry could feel his lungs burning and the muscles in his legs were all but screaming murder at him to stop, but the last Potter didn't feel all that inclined to stop and get beaten by a bunch of strangers.

When he decided to move to a random Japanese town to hide after the war, this wasn't what he had in mind.

Harry rounded a corner and saw a flash of bright orange before an arm swung over his head – and no, he wasn't internally cursing his short height in the worst possible moment – and slammed into the head of the idiot in the lead of chasing Harry, shoving him forward into his companions and knocking them all to the pavement.

He watched them sit up with looks of fury before they caught sight of Harry's surprise saviour and paled rapidly, stuttering terrified apologies and stumbling to their feet before shooting back down the street like they were being chased by Death itself.

What the fuck?

"Tch. Lousy bastards."

Harry turned to the other male and cursed once more as he realised how much taller than him the guy was. I thought Japanese people were supposed to be short! This dude's like six foot! Bastard.

He would have cursed some more if he weren't so intrigued by the colour of his mystery saviour's hair, the bright orange so far removed from what he'd seen around this town so far, and when the man moved the shades of blonde and light red hidden within practically glowed like a sunset. It went well with the lightly-tanned skin on the muscled frame, and the amber eyes looking at him with carefully-hidden concern were so warm and –

Hello again, my apparently not-so-forgotten libido.

"Are you alright?"

The gruff voice and frown would have probably put off most people, but Harry knew his expression looked startlingly similar to one Poppy Pomfrey when she was berating her patients. He probably just wasn't used to expressing his emotions. His English was pretty amazing, though.

Harry looked up and smiled, trying not to eye up the man and creep him out. "I speak Japanese, by the way. And yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for your help."

He belatedly remembered he was supposed to bow in this country and quickly did so, probably making himself look like a right twat, but what can you do?

When he righted himself the other guy was staring at him with wide eyes and a slight red tinge to his face, but it was a bit warm out so it wasn't that surprising. He opened his mouth to speak before his mobile rang and he sent an apologetic look to Harry before opening it and reading whatever was on the screen.

The man grimaced before yelling 'sorry' and sprinting down the alleyway and round the corner. Before Harry could even process that, the guy ran back into the alleyway and looked Harry dead in the eye.

"You should be more careful and keep to busier streets, there aren't as many lowlifes around those parts."

With a final nod he ran off again, leaving Harry to wonder what the hell was happening with his life.

A few weeks after being saved by the giant redhead, Harry was walking through the streets of Karakura happily enjoying the peace when he heard a massive roar then a man shout some random words.

There, not even fifty feet away, was a gigantic monster causing mayhem that the dozens of people around him apparently couldn't see. If that wasn't bad enough, the man was in fact the very redhead he'd seen before wearing some sort of traditional garb and waving around a sword that was longer than he was tall.

A beam of energy – really? – flew out the oversized weapon and hit the monster, then the monster screamed and dissolved into nothingness.

Harry blinked at the sight for a few seconds, then when the image remained he shook his head and walked away.

No way was he getting involved in that.

I spoke too soon.

He looked at the floor and sighed heavily, the unconscious and bloody form of the redhead a very obvious sign he wouldn't be avoiding involvement.

Damn my conscience.

Thankfully it was night and there was nobody around, so Harry bent down and grabbed the man before Apparating them back to his house. He spent nearly an hour cleaning and closing the wounds of the other man before yawning widely and laying on the bed next to him. Harry closed his eyes and relaxed. Just ten minutes.

"Er … hello? Where are we?"

Harry woke up abruptly and froze. That wasn't ten minutes. There was sunlight streaming through the windows, he could hear the faint traffic from down the street, and he was laying on top of a muscled chest with his arms wrapped around the other man's torso.

Please kill me now.

He braced himself and raised his head, meeting amber eyes head on and feeling his face blush at their proximity. It didn't help that the guy was only wearing boxers from Harry's first aid, and Harry of course did the only appropriate thing he could in that moment.

He shrieked and jumped off the bed.

Well, he tried to anyway. Unfortunately his leg got caught in the covers and as he twisted, he landed on his back on the floor. And so did the other man, as Harry had brilliantly got their legs caught and pulled the poor guy on top of him.

"Are you okay?"

He blinked up at the deep voice, gravelly from sleep and nodded stupidly, very much aware of their position.

The redhead smirked at him. "What's your name, anyway?"

"Harry. Why do you want to know?"

"My name's Ichigo," he said, completely ignoring Harry's question.

"Nice to meet –"

Harry cut off with a squeak as lips were pressed to his, the heat a very welcome contrast to the Autumn weather outside. Burning hands were wrapped around his upper arms as his mouth was happily exploring another set of lips against his.

Ichigo pulled back and grinned. "I didn't want to do that until I knew your name." He then faltered. "I mean, was – was that okay? I just –"

The wizard decided to set things right, and sat up quickly to resume the activity from a moment ago.

He enthusiastically carried on, not caring one bit that they didn't know each other beyond one encounter. We'll talk later.

Harry grinned as he pulled his shirt over his head. A lot later.

A/N: Hello again!

First ... *gets down on knees and begs for forgiveness* I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long! I really don't have any excuse other than I was so focused on my longer fics that this completely fell to the wayside. In terms of the future of this collection, I can't really guarantee a definite update schedule considering writing these brief little pieces is entirely dependent on my fleeting muse, though I'll try not to leave it so long next time. Hopefully.

Another thing, today there are five chapters. There are three crossovers including this one, and two ones of just HP. Also, I am totally not doing this to try and earn your forgiveness. I am definitely not bribing people with multiple chapters lol.

Also, I feel like Harry and Ichigo need more love in the crossover world, or am I the only one who thinks this? Let me know.

See ya!