Inspiration: "I prepared myself to live in crushing, colorless despair for the rest of my days. But when I look back, I can see there were some warm rays of hope...poking through." Elincia to Ike in Fire Emblem Path of Radiance.
Shout Out: Neurotic Engineer, thank you for reading, and everyone that reviewed gave a nice analysis.
Word Count: 9,219
Chapter 14
One month later, Kakariko Village: Saria's POV
I wasn't feeling as confident as I wanted to while I was walking to Kakariko Village. I was on my way to see gramps. I hadn't visited him in months, and I really needed to talk to him. He was a confidant and a voice of reason, so I looked to him for advice. It's been one month since the prince's visit, and judging by all the celebratory news in the Hyurule Historia, it was a howling success. The paper wrote several glowing spreads over the last four weeks regarding the king, the queen, Prince Leonhart, and Lady Bathory. There were even pictures painted of the four of them with the corresponding articles. Several of them featured the royal party going from vendor to vendor, while the last few focused on the meet and greets with the locals. There was even one 'exclusive' capture of an insider who got the gossip of what happened during the noble's dinner with the prince. The story spoke of intrigue and espionage like a fiction novel. I wasn't sure how valid that story was, but it was entertaining nonetheless. However, one outstanding feature of the articles were the cartographer's recaptures of the moments. The artist painted likenesses of the royal party and they were uncanny. The gold used to color Link and Zelda's hair was perfect against the royal purple. They really did look magnificent together.
Their baby is going to be ridiculously cute, I thought.
From my own point of view, everything went as it should, even with the few hiccups that were throughout the visit. I was conflicted, because there were moments where I felt guilty for not being able to display the kind of pride I wanted to for Link. I was very proud of him. He carried himself so well, and spoke with the command and eloquence to be expected of a king. However, I was also frustrated with how the hero behaved at the meet and greet. He could have been more discreet with his affirmations, but it seemed he wanted to be defiant. Even so, my pique discomfiture came when I discovered that Link was watching Ralph and me from the tower. I thought we were alone, but I guess I was wrong. It was jarring to be the subject of such voyeurism. Even from the distance, I could see the pain in Link's eyes. However, I had no idea Ralph and I were going to be in his line of sight.
Subsequent to the visit of the prince, Link attempted to contact me a couple weeks later via his ocarina. I didn't answer. The following week he tried to call again and I still didn't answer. Finally, a few days ago he called for me once more and I finally did answer. However, I told him never to contact me again, and also to forget the arrangements we previously made. I was aware the news was going to throw him for a loop, which it did. He was silent for a long moment before he asked me 'why?'. I told him my reasons just as I stated them before. He then asked me 'if this was what I really wanted?', and... I told him yes. I didn't have very much conviction, but I came off as though I did.
Afterwards, Link said he understood my stance and would obey my request. He disconnected and since then I hadn't heard from him, but it had only been a few days and I knew how stubborn Link could be. Admittedly, it was hard cutting Link off, but I knew for both our sakes we needed to take more drastic measures to move on with our lives. Even if he tried communicating with me again through the ocarina, I had to ignore it. I had to. I could no longer allow such misgivings to take place. I simply could not see him anymore. It was over. I couldn't be the solace in his life. His wife needed to be his solace, and if she couldn't be, he needed to find another outlet.
I can't do it anymore, I thought, I just can't.
I didn't want to come across as cruel, but I didn't know what else to do. We would never reconcile our feelings if we kept seeing each other. Then, of course, to compound the problems was Link's concern regarding that beam of moon light that shined on me the night of the festival. I honestly thought nothing of it, and since it happened, nothing strange had taken place. I didn't understand where the hero's worry was coming from, but I also didn't give him an opportunity to inform me of what his concerns were either. Perhaps I shouldn't have been so quick to jump the sword, but I was tired of the back and forth between us. It seemed to be never ending.
Speaking on never ending, on the ride home that night, Gertrude was giving me the most suspicious of looks when the encounter was brought up again. Her and Marin both quite frankly. I chose to ignore it, as I did when they attempted to interrogate me about it subtly in the following weeks to come. It was then I noticed a change in Gertrude and Marin's attitudes toward me. They weren't as welcoming when I stopped by, and they seemed to only want me around when they could overtake the conversation and speak about what they wanted. I knew sooner or later Gertrude was just going to come out and ask me what my relationship was with Link. Gertrude had her gifts, but she never seemed to let things go, and I was finding that out the hard way. Even so, I wasn't going to be some slouch either. I was ready for whatever she attempted to throw at me. I was weary of her always meddling in my personal affairs. There seemed no limit to her nosiness. Gertrude was supposed to have a life of her own. She was a physician for Hylia's sake. Why was she always worried about me and what I was doing? I understood she was protective of her brother, but her brother didn't need protecting. I appreciated Ralph's family, but I sometimes thought they inferred their pushiness as warranted because I wasn't as open about my past as they wanted me to be.
Speaking of which...
My past…
That was another issue.
I let it slip that I was from Kokiri Forest and Ralph's mother was all too eager to jump on that opportunity. Ralph too had the same aptness about visiting my former home, but I knew that that would be an impossibility. They would never understand why such a request was nonsensical because my past was convoluted. I didn't have the luxury of having conventional parents, and my transformation into becoming Hylian was something they would never believe, but more thematically deduce that it was something I made up out of a story book. The truth was often defined as something stranger than fiction, and my truth was about as fantastical as one could get.
How am I going to deal with that? I wondered. How am I actually going to break the news one day?
All of this contemplation made me sigh, but fortunately I was now at my destination. I had to practically promise fealty to my mother in law when I told her I wanted to go on a walk alone. Marin was almost argumentative with me when she insisted that she come with me. I told her firmly no, and that I needed some time to reflect by myself. I wanted some time alone so I could think. It was tiresome always being watched and questioned as if I were a specimen in an agar plate. I wasn't trying to be confrontational, but I was serious about wanting to be alone today. I didn't need a babysitter and I wasn't an invalid. If Marin knew some of the things I was once capable of, she might turn away from me in fear; the powers of the Forest Sage… the strength of the Dark Maiden… that was all once a part of me. However, that authority was now gone… the legend of the dark forest maiden was no more, not since I lost the ability to tap into the power of the Shadow Crystal.
I closed my eyes and prayed for closure.
No more… I want no more of that life, I thought.
Anyway, I was now at my destination. I knocked on the door and waited patiently for it to be answered. The familiar steps of the bazaar shop made me grin. I used to work here with my old friend. From the inside, I heard the shuffling of feet. A moment later, the door opened and gramps was there to greet me. My dear old friend was approaching his eightieth year in a few months, but he still had the stamina and energy of a fifty year old. I met him when I was living in Ordon Village and working as a bartender. He was on a caravan passing through and he only wanted some ginger water when he came into the bar that night. I expressed to him that I wanted to get out of Ordon and set up shop elsewhere, but not as a bartender. He informed me that he owned a building in Kakariko Village and that if I wanted to rent space from him to start my business I could do so. I wholeheartedly agreed and did so. That was six years ago. We have been friends ever since then.
Gramps was like a surrogate father, or rather, grandfather to me and I valued his opinion. But... he also had a penchant for giving me advice when I didn't need it or ask for it. I divulged such because... because he had an inherent distrust of Link's and my friendship, especially when he first met the hero. I think it was because gramps sensed that even in our first meeting there was an immediate attraction between us… a connection that went past talking about wedding garments and the like. Gramps was right, but he had no idea why, and he didn't approve of me associating with a man who was about to be married. I couldn't say I blamed him, from the outside looking in it seemed pretty scandalous. However, I had my own secrets I kept from gramps, many of which dealt with the real reasons why I came to Hyrule. At the time, I was… seeking out certain persons of interest. It was a very different time in my life… a very dark time to be quite honest. I had no memory of my past life and didn't remember who I was and I was essentially acting like a covert agent for nefarious factions.
Even so, the past was behind me now, and when I saw gramps' weathered wrinkly face, a big smile came across mine.
I immediately went to hug him.
"Hey there stranger," I whispered when I held him close.
He hugged me right back, more surprised than anything.
"Saria my child, it's wonderful to see you," he replied, "I had no idea you were coming today."
His words made me feel warm inside.
"I wanted it to be a surprise, but I've missed you so gramps," I said when I pulled back, "how have you been?'
He gestured for me to come inside and closed the door. I did his bidding and went to sit down on a wooden bench near the side window next to his desk. Gramps came and sat down next to me.
"I've been surviving, though business is now booming," he said, "I just received a couple orders to weld some gardening tools for a noble's grounds keeper, a set of one hundred."
I raised my brows and nodded.
"That will definitely keep you busy," I said, "perhaps too busy. Are you going to get all of it done?"
Gramps ran a hand through his thin gray hair and sighed.
"I calculated that if I did ten tools a day I could be done in ten days," he said.
I looked at him taken aback.
"Gramps… you can't weld that much in a day, that's impossible," I said, "you'll run the risk of ruining your health. Even a young healthy man can't weld that much."
He saw my point.
"I suppose you're right, but the gardener said he needed these tools in two weeks," he explained. "Perhaps I will have to bite the deku nut and hire some extra hands."
I agreed.
"That's exactly what you should do," I replied, "especially since it's a lot of work. I don't want anything happening to you because you want to be stubborn, and if you start feeling ill please see Dr. Seaside."
He grinned at me and took hold of my hand.
"I will," he promised, then added, "but enough about me my dear, it's wonderful to see you Saria. You look beautiful, tell me how things are going with you."
I shrugged, pretending to be coy, but I couldn't keep the smile off my face.
"Married life is good," I said, "Ralph and I are going to be moving into Castle Town soon."
Gramps looked at me surprised.
"Really?" he replied.
I nodded.
"Ralph's practice is doing really well, so instead of the long commute between here and Ordon Village we're going to move to Castle Town where he is opening another laboratory," I explained. "That way he can expand his practice, while at the same time get into the potion business with Dr. Seaside."
He looked impressed.
"Wow," he said, "how exciting my dear."
Gramps graveled voice was music to my ears and I chuckled at how he said that.
"It is exciting," I admitted, "but not as exciting as what I'm about to tell you next."
He raised a brow.
"Oh really?" he said with a grin. "What's that?"
I bit my lower lip and squeezed his hand in mine.
"Guess," I teased.
His wrinkling face gave me an offhanded stare.
"I'm too old to guess," he said, "just tell me straight up, I can handle it."
His honesty made me giggle again.
"You're no fun, but you twisted my arm," I said, then practically blurted out, "I'm going to have a baby! I'm pregnant!"
Gramps looked at me shocked, but soon his shock immediately turned to happiness.
"You're going to have a baby?" he repeated.
I nodded.
"Can you believe it?" I said. "Me a mother?"
Gramps still appeared dumbfounded.
"That's wonderful news!" he said. "You two certainly didn't waste any time did you?"
I laughed.
"I don't think we had a choice in the matter," I stated, "but we have gone fast."
Gramps looked genuinely happy for me just then.
"I'm going to be a great grandfather," he said proudly.
I was moved by him saying such.
"Yes you are, so you have to stay healthy," I teased, "don't think about just you, think about me selfishly and how I want you to meet your great grandbaby."
Gramps stroked his thumb over my palm.
"This is all I ever wanted for you Saria," he said suddenly, "I just wanted someone who deserved you and would keep you safe."
I blushed at hearing him say that, but I knew exactly what he meant.
I grinned.
"I know gramps," I said, "I know."
He reached up and caressed my cheek, his hands were rough, but his sentiments were so much more important than his gnarly fingers. I covered his hand with mine. However, I think he was wrong in his assumptions. Link did deserve me and I truly felt at one time I deserved him. It was just our circumstances that prevented us from truly being together. Even so, gramps didn't know the whole story, so I couldn't expect him to see Link the way I did.
"Do you already have any names picked out?" he asked suddenly.
That was already worked out.
"It crossed my mind," I said, "but I'm not too concerned just yet."
Gramps chuckled.
"Well, you better get concerned, you don't want to refer to your child as 'hey you' or something like that for the rest of his or her life," he joked.
I chuckled.
"Very true," I said, then divulged, "Ralph and I already went over this, if it is a boy I'm going to name him Ralph. However, if it's a girl I was thinking of Elincia."
Gramps gave me a funny look just then.
"Elincia?" he repeated. "Why not Saria?"
I shrugged.
"I like the name Elincia," I said simply, "I already made a promise to a friend that he could use my name if he was having a little girl. Besides, Elincia is the name of a great historical noble who did many wonderful things for her people."
Gramps then studied me for a moment.
"You aren't going to name your daughter after you because you promised someone else they could use your name for their child?" he clarified.
I didn't think anything of it, so I nodded.
"Yes," I said, "what's so strange about that?"
His face became puzzled, and he didn't answer my question.
"What… friend did you promise?" he asked suddenly.
I should have anticipated that this was coming, so I looked away for a moment.
Here we go, I thought.
"…Link," I said with a hint of hesitation.
Gramps got quiet just then.
"You don't think that would be a little odd for the king to name his child after you when you too are no longer involved?" he asked.
I took in a deep sigh and thought that was silly.
"So a name is characterized by relationships alone?" I asked rhetorically.
He gave me an obvious look.
"You know what I mean," he said.
I went to reassure him.
"Gramps… it doesn't matter, that part of my life is over," I explained, "Link is the king, but he is still my friend. I told him it was alright if he wanted to name his daughter after me."
Gramps raised a brow.
"Are you still in contact with him?" he asked, not replying to my statement.
I wasn't sure how to answer that.
"Not really," I said honestly, "I've seen him a few times in passing, but I told him he could name his daughter after me some time ago, even before he got married."
His concern seemed to deepen.
"Does your husband know you're seeing him?" he asked.
He was getting too lost in that one point. I shook my head.
"I'm not seeing him," I divulged, "and no I didn't tell him because I knew he wouldn't approve."
Gramps grunted.
"As he shouldn't," he agreed, "you and the king have a salacious history."
I didn't appreciate that and made sure to let him know.
"That isn't true," I countered, "we've done nothing to warrant such an accusation. We were in love at one time and now we're… we're not."
I looked away, but he still didn't hide his disapproval.
"What about his wife?" gramps detracted.
I paused for a moment.
"What about her?" I asked.
He raised a brow.
"Don't you sass me young lady," he scolded, "you know what I mean."
I sighed.
"I'm sorry," I apologized, "I'm… I'm sure Zelda will not allow him to name her after me anyway." I then added bitterly, "She has a way of getting what she wants at whatever the cost."
Gramps looked at me surprised by the slight ire in my voice.
"Do you think you're being fair with that statement?" he asked.
I rolled my eyes, now bored of this subject.
"Yes, I do," I said with a hint of defiance, "the queen may be beautiful and wise, but she is also a woman. She reacts and feels the way a woman does when she is jealous. She's only Hylian after all."
He didn't reply right away.
"What does that mean?" he asked.
I wanted to end this conversation. It was starting to sully this visit.
"It means she got the man she wanted," I said simply, "what Link wanted didn't matter to her."
Gramps looked at me surprised.
"How would you know such a thing?" he asked. "That's quite the accusation."
I shook my head and looked away from him.
Because I lived it, I thought.
"It doesn't matter," I said, "it's the past, it's over. Besides, I've told him I can no longer be in contact with him."
He looked like he wanted to say more, but I stopped him.
"Saria-" he tried.
"Please, can we not talk about this anymore?" I begged gently. "It's making me uncomfortable."
Gramps saw the subtle distress on my face and decided to renege his further questioning. There was a great deal I kept from him and it would only complicate things between us if he found out about it. I wanted this to be an amiable visit, not one where I needed to be reminded and lectured on how terrible of a person I was to be involved with a man who I knew was affianced at the time of my seeing him. It wasn't that simple, but I wasn't exactly innocent either. He had a right to tell me these things, but he still needed to know the whole story. Even so, I went to change the subject.
"Anyway," I started, "do you like the name Elincia?"
My segue was hardly elegant. So much so, that gramps took in a deep sigh and studied me for a long moment before he answered. Afterwards, he just shrugged.
"I think it's beautiful," he replied honestly, "absolutely beautiful."
I forced a smile just then.
"Perfect," I said, "then you have confirmed it for me."
We were quiet for a long moment afterwards, and I knew it was because gramps still had more he wanted to discuss with me, but I couldn't have that today. I wanted today to be a day where we could catch up and perhaps have a few laughs together, but considering the shift in conversation and the fact he had a great deal of work to do for his orders, that wasn't going to happen. Besides that, he seemed to be irritated by what I told him regarding Link. Due to those factors, I decided to cut my visit short. However, I did want to extend an invitation to him for the future.
I got up from the bench to take my leave.
"I'm going to go visit Ralph since his work is nearby," I said, "but as soon as we get into our new home, you must come by so I can cook you a proper meal."
The invitation was there, but gramps sensed what I was trying to do. He was looking up at me from his seated position, and after my request he attempted to smile. It seemed he regressed to a truce.
"That sounds nice honey," he said to me, "thank you for the offer."
I returned his smile.
"Of course," I said, then leaned over and kissed his cheek.
However, when I turned to leave, he took hold of my hand and tugged on it gently. I stopped and turned to look at him at his efforts.
"Gramps?" I asked.
He stared into my eyes for just a moment and sighed.
"Please… please be careful," he whispered, "I just want you to be happy."
I stiffened a little with the way he said that, but I understood what he was stating. I squeezed his hand back.
"I will gramps," I reassured.
With that, I went and gave him another kiss on the cheek and afterwards took my leave. Outside, I thought about some of the things gramps told me, but I wanted to assure him everything was going to be alright.
That's the past gramps, I thought, and that is behind me.
With my new found resolve, I walked across the village with my head hooded and up to my husband's work residence. When I walked into Ralph's medical office, I saw he was in conference with one of his patients. He was telling them their aftercare instructions and the need to have a referral to Dr. Brimstone for further lung compliance exams. When my presence was made known, Ralph looked surprised when he saw me, but I could tell there was glint of misgivings in his eyes as well. I was a little taken back by the look, but I returned it with a smile anyway. However, a moment later, Ralph excused himself from his patient and came over to me.
He seemed a little miffed.
"Hi there," I greeted anyway.
Ralph paused before he greeted me back.
"Hey," he said simply.
His tone was short and curt.
This time I looked at him taken aback.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
Ralph didn't answer me. Instead, he guided me to the back of his office where he did his paperwork for his patients. When he closed the door behind us, his attitude didn't get much better.
I was mildly puzzled.
"What's the matter?" I asked again.
He raised his brows and gave me a knowing look.
"I was hoping you could tell me," he said.
Now I was confused.
"I'm sorry?" I replied.
He took in a deep sigh and looked away.
"Stop with the games Sar," he said.
I had no idea what he was talking about.
"I'm not playing any games," I replied, "I want to know what you mean."
Ralph shrugged with a hint sarcasm and decided to go on.
"My mother was here maybe twenty minutes ago," he divulged, "and she was informing me that you were being very difficult with her."
I looked at him stunned just then.
"Excuse me?" I said surprised.
His frustration mounted.
"Did I stutter?" he asked sarcastically. "You heard what I said!"
I took a step back at his tone.
"Why are you getting short with me?" I demanded. "I did nothing to warrant this from you!"
He nodded.
"The same can be said of my mother!" he snapped back. "Now, do you want to tell me what this is about?"
I didn't even know where to begin. I was thrown for a loop.
"It's nothing and it's an untruth," I insisted, "I was not being difficult with her."
Ralph raised a brow.
"Saria…" he trailed, "she was practically in tears when she came in here. She told me she wanted to come with you on your walk so the two of you could bond, but you aggressively said no. All she wants is for you to like her."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"That is what she told you?" I demanded.
He didn't back down.
"Is she wrong?" she shot back.
I ran my hands over my face and didn't know what to think.
"I do like her," I replied, trying to think quickly, "I even love her, she's the closest thing to a mother I have."
Ralph narrowed his eyes slightly.
"Then why are you treating her this way?" he demanded. "Why are you pushing her away when all she wants to do is be close to you? She cares a great deal for you."
I took a deep breath and looked at him in disbelief.
"I'm not treating her like anything!" I replied. "Ralph I-" I had to stop myself because I didn't know what to say, I was truly at a loss, but then added, "I care about her too, but I just wanted to be alone today."
He took a step towards me.
"Why?" he demanded suddenly.
My breathing accelerated. I didn't understand this. I didn't understand his anger.
"What do mean 'why'?" I asked.
He rolled his eyes.
"It isn't Sheikah science Saria!" he said sarcastically. "You don't have to pretend to be simple with everything we talk about!"
I looked at him shocked just then and felt tears fill my eyes. This was the first time he outwardly implied that he thought I was ignorant. I always felt it with the way he talked to me at times because I didn't understand some of the things he spoke about when it came to his career, but now he just outright implied it.
"Why are you talking to me this way?!" I demanded.
He didn't answer my question.
"Why did you want to be alone?" he demanded again. "Were you going off somewhere? Were you going to see someone?!"
His voice was slightly raised now.
I looked at him beyond stunned.
"No!" I insisted. "I just wanted to be alone! Because-because I've been around your family day in and day out for weeks now. I needed a break!"
He seemed offended by that.
"Well, if you had a family to go to perhaps this wouldn't be an issue!" he said rather scathingly. "Don't take you frustrations out on my mother! All everybody wants is what's best for you, that's all!"
My tears spilled over.
"I know that!" I shot back. "But I need time for myself too!" I looked around the room at a loss for a moment. "What about me Ralph?! What about your concern for me?!"
There was a tense silence between us, where he never answered my questions, and it was then and there I decided to take my leave. I didn't deserve this.
"This was a mistake, a stupid, stupid mistake," I muttered to myself, then tried to get past my husband, but he blocked me. "I thought you would be happy to see me."
"Saria-" he tried.
I was done talking to him.
"Get out of my way!" I demanded. "It seems to me you've already made up your mind about this discussion, but I'm probably too dumb to know otherwise, right? I'll see you when you get home."
I tried to push past him, but he wasn't letting me off the hook that easily. He took hold of me. There was immediate regret that filled his eyes.
"Saria, look I'm sorry, I-" he tried again.
I didn't want to hear this.
"Let me go!" I interrupted.
Ralph still didn't comply.
"I want to apologize!" he said in a slightly raised voice. "I didn't mean some of the things I said."
The tears spilled over on my cheeks.
"You've said enough!" I replied. "I don't want to hear another word from you."
However, before he could say anything else a sharp searing pain pulsed at the temples of my head and radiated down my back. I immediately grabbed hold of my head and attempted to hunch over, but I burrowed into my husband's chest instead.
"Ahhhhhhhh!" I screamed suddenly.
Ralph was staring at me suddenly shocked.
"Saria?" he said slightly panicked. "What's going on? What is it?"
I was starting to see flashes of white, red, and black. Then a pulsing white light blinded my vision for several seconds. I couldn't see or hear anything… except for this strange arcane voice.
"Saria… Saria… you'll never be rid of me…" it whispered, "I'll be here to haunt you forever…"
I was terrified to no end now as I attempted to speak to it.
"What?" I shrieked. "Who are you?!"
Ralph, bearing witness to it all, was staring at me like I was insane.
"Saria, what's going on?!" he demanded.
However, I couldn't see or hear him, only the voice that was apparent in my mind.
"Do you honestly think a seal can keep back the shadow?" it went on. "You'll never be rid of me… never…"
A chill ran down my back and my terror never went away. In fact, it only amplified in the presence of the voice.
"No! No! Noooo!" I screamed. "Go away!"
It was full on mayhem now, as the door opened and in stepped Dr. Seaside along with the nurse who worked in the office with them.
"What is going on in here?" Dr. Seaside demanded.
Ralph turned and looked at the doctor in a frenzy.
"I don't know!" he insisted. "She just grabbed her head and started screaming!"
Dr. Seaside immediately came in the room and took me in his arms. Ralph looked on surprised as the older doctor swooped me up like I was a feather weight and walked me over to the bench in the back. Dr. Seaside then placed me down and turned to direct the nurse.
"Go get my brain scan!" he ordered. "Immediately!"
The nurse nodded without hesitation.
"Yes sir!" she answered, and hurried out the room.
Ralph then knelt down by the doctor.
"What can I do?" he asked.
Dr. Seaside was working to keep me calm.
"Tell me when this first started," he said.
Ralph shook his head for a moment and quickly recollected.
"It literally started just now," he said, "we were having an argument and I guess I made her upset. Afterwards, she grabbed her head and started screaming."
Dr. Seaside's features dimmed a little.
"Oh dear…." he muttered to himself.
Ralph looked on worried.
"What is it?" he demanded. "What aren't you telling me?"
I was still writhing in pain when the voice spoke to me one last time.
"Soon… soon…" it said, "soon you will no longer have control. You will submit to the latent power inside of you. Then… you will be mine, my… vessel of darkness."
I screamed again at hearing that.
"No!" I screamed. "No! NOOOOOO!"
At this point, even the patients waiting in the examination area were looking in through the open door now. Ralph got up quickly to close it, and afterwards he came back over to Dr. Seaside.
"Is she going to be okay?" he asked with a slight crack in his voice. "Is she going to lose the baby?"
Dr. Seaside shook his head.
"We're going to do everything in our power to make sure that doesn't happen," he reassured, "I just need you to remain calm."
A moment later, the door opened once again and the nurse returned with the brain scan. She handed it to Dr. Seaside, who in turn gave her another set of instructions.
"Close the door and watch the other patients for now," he ordered, "assure them that everything is going to be okay."
She nodded.
"Yes, doctor," she replied and took her leave.
Afterwards, Dr. Seaside turned the brain scan on and proceeded to instruct me.
"I know this is hard right now Saria my dear," he said, "but you must remain very still. The scan will prove to be insufficient if you keep squirming."
Like a cascade of waves, I heard another distinct voice apart from the one terrorizing me. It was one that was familiar and kind.
"Saria my dear, I need you to hold very still while I scan you okay," he said once more.
I was in excruciating pain, but through it all, I nodded.
"Okay," I managed to whisper.
With that, Dr. Seaside touched a brown circular recess on the outside of the hollowed scan, making the apparatus shift into a levitating glowing object. It floated right above my head, when suddenly this blue light projected downward onto my face and spread outwardly like a geometrical progression. When it was at the trajectory it needed to be, it started filtering information from my brain. Ralph stared on in amazement, never having seen ancient Sheikah technology in action before now. The scan went back and forth over my face, until after about several seconds a problem was identified. The projector within the scan conjured an image of a diamond shaped crystal that was pulsating in increments of a thousand vibrations a second; twice the consistency of the speed of sound.
"My word," Dr. Seaside whispered stunned.
Ralph looked on confused.
"What… what is that thing?" he asked.
Dr. Seaside sighed, but before he answered, he input a calibrating algorithm into the scan to reset the energy output of the crystal. Several seconds later, the vibrations ceased from being a thousand a second to five hundred a second, back to the normal speed of sound. Afterwards, he reassessed me and my headache immediately subsided.
Ralph was dumbstruck by it all.
"How-how in the world-?" he attempted.
"It's complicated," Dr. Seaside interrupted quietly, "and quite frankly I thought she was past all this."
His answer still didn't make any sense to Ralph. In fact, he verbalized his confusion.
"I don't understand," he said, "what are you talking about?"
Dr. Seaside paused.
"Saria should probably be the one telling you this, but I will fill you in on what you need to know," he said suddenly.
Ralph looked at him taken aback.
"What… what are you talking about?" he asked.
The good doctor paused for a moment.
"That crystal is connected to her life essence," he explained, "I should know because I was the one who put it inside her."
Ralphed looked on bewildered.
"What?" he gasped.
It was then I could no longer hear their conversation, but that faint voice came conjuring up one last time.
"You'll never be rid of me…" it whispered, "never…"
Afterwards, everything went black.
~SSS~
Several hours later
I moaned softly as I opened my eyes. I blinked several times to focus. When my sight became clear I was greeted by the worried faces of my husband and Dr. Seaside. They both looked on in relief, but it didn't last very long. I attempted to sit up, but Ralph stopped me.
"Easy," he said gently.
I looked at him mildly perplexed, then glanced over at Dr. Seaside and back again.
"What happened?" I whispered.
Ralph took in a deep sigh.
"You had an attack," he explained, "and it left you very weak."
Dr. Seaside concurred.
"That is what happened exactly," he said, "but I think you might want to inform Ralph on something else Saria."
I looked at him puzzled for a moment, then felt my eyes widen at the foreboding realization.
"What… what are you talking about?" I whispered anyway.
Dr. Seaside spoke up.
"I told him Saria," he divulged.
My throat tightened.
"What do you mean?" I demanded, slightly frightened at the prospects. "Dr. Seaside you didn't tell him that I-" I tried.
"I had to Saria," he interrupted gently, "it was the only way to avoid any confusion."
I then looked at my husband in open fear.
Ralph just stared back and studied my face.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked suddenly. "Why did you keep me in the dark?"
I didn't even know where to begin.
"I… I was afraid," I replied carefully, "I didn't think you'd understand."
Ralph ran a hand through his golden hair.
"Saria, I love you," he said, "of course I would have understood."
I looked at him surprised and wasn't sure how to reply. I didn't know how much Dr. Seaside disclosed to him. Dr. Seaside saw my hesitance and interceded just then.
"I showed him the crystal connected to your life force when I scanned your brain," he divulged, then added, "that's all."
I took in a worried breath and then looked back over at my husband, who was looking at me with open sympathy now.
"So you know…" was all I said in reply.
Ralph reached over and caressed my cheek.
"I had no idea that technology had gotten so far where a person's life force could be connected to an energy crystal," he said, "but you are living proof of that, you're a living miracle."
I glanced back over at the doctor and he carefully nodded for me to proceed with the narrative. Chances were Dr. Seaside hadn't told Ralph that I was once a Kokiri or a sage. I think his reaction would have been much more fantastic than what it was.
"Yes," I said, "I… I was in pretty bad shape when Dr. Seaside found me."
Dr. Seaside chimed in again.
"Quite frankly my dear you were on the verge of death," he stated, "had me and my colleague at the time not experimented with the crystal's life essence, you would not be here."
Ralph then took my hand into his.
"Is that why you never like to talk about your past?" he asked me. "Is it too hard for you to think about?"
I pursed my lips together and nodded.
"Yes," I said honestly, "I feel like a circus freak Ralph, I feel as though I'm not really Hylian."
My husband looked at me indignantly.
"Of course you're Hylian," he said, "just because you have a little extra something that makes you tick doesn't mean you are any less Hylian. Just think of all the patients who need prosthetics to survive, does that make them any less Hylian?"
I saw his point, but he had no idea what else my past entailed, and even now, even with him looking at me so endearingly, I felt I couldn't tell him. I didn't think he was ready to hear the whole truth. I would tell him one day, just not now. However, my focus shifted temporarily to my belly when I thought about the baby. I rubbed it in slight worry.
"Is the baby okay?" I asked suddenly.
Dr. Seaside and my husband both nodded.
"The baby is fine," Ralph reassured, "I was worried about her too."
I looked at him surprised by his last statement.
"Her?" I repeated.
Ralph for the first time since I arrived smiled. He took my hand in his.
"We're having a little girl Saria," he said, "I know this isn't the way we intended to find out, but at least we know the gender. I'm going to have a little princess."
I was still thrown for a loop by now knowing the sex of the baby, but I was elated nonetheless.
"A little girl," I whispered.
Ralph nodded.
"Yes," he replied.
I placed both my hands over my heart.
"My little Elincia," I whispered.
Ralph's smile broadened.
"I'm really starting to like that name," he said, "it's quite beautiful."
I closed my eyes and placed my hands on my belly.
"That's exactly why I chose it," I divulged.
Dr. Seaside grinned.
"You're naming her after the great noble who became the Queen of Crimera?" he inquired. "Hmph, you have impeccable taste. She was an extraordinary woman with a complicated life. Her greatest quote was: 'I prepared myself to live in crushing, colorless despair for the rest of my days. But when I look back, I can see there were some warm rays of hope...poking through…' She uttered that to the man she loved, but never married Ike the Great."
His statements only reaffirmed my stance. I explained the same thing to gramps.
"Really?" Ralph asked.
The doctor nodded.
"Indeed," he said, "she was the greatest monarch of her nation."
That caveat made me love the name even more.
"When I was reading about her she sounded magnificent," I whispered.
Dr. Seaside nodded again.
"She was, and the people adored her once her efforts were truly realized," he said.
That made me rub my belly again.
"It's perfect for her," I said, "I couldn't think of a better name."
Ralph watching me, then ran his hand over my belly himself. Afterwards, he turned his head to address Dr. Seaside.
"Can we be alone for a moment?" he asked him suddenly.
Dr. Seaside looked at Ralph surprised, but immediately complied.
"Please forgive me for being so intrusive," he apologized, "I should have taken my leave a little bit ago."
Ralph and I both shook our heads.
"We're grateful to you doctor," I said.
Ralph nodded while he was staring at me.
"Especially me," he said, "you made sure my wife was okay."
I cut my eyes to my husband and looked at him taken aback.
"What?" I asked surprised.
It was then Dr. Seaside excused himself.
"I better get back to my other patients," he said, "they are probably worried sick."
With that, he left the room, leaving just Ralph and me and right now I didn't know how I was feeling about my husband. I looked away and didn't want to have the conversation I knew was coming. When Ralph got up and sat near the edge of the cot, I slightly pulled away when he attempted to take hold of me. He saw that and reacted immediately.
"Saria... I'm sorry," he apologized.
I shook my head and didn't answer.
"Saria…" he went on, "please forgive me. I was wrong in being so short with you. You know I love you. I… I was just jealous."
I rolled my eyes before I looked over at him again.
"Of what?" I said sharply. "I wanted to take a walk and be alone. I had no intentions of meeting Link anywhere if that's what you were thinking!"
He was silent for a second and looked away.
"That's exactly what I was thinking," he confessed.
I shook my head and closed my eyes.
"Are you ever going to trust me?" I asked.
Ralph held his breath for a moment.
"I certainly hope so," he said honestly.
I looked at him surprised.
"What kind of answer is that?" I demanded.
He ran a hand through his hair.
"An honest one," he said, "look, I'm trying okay."
I was growing tired of this.
"Then why did you marry me?" I demanded. "If you don't trust me and you think I'm so stupid, why did you marry me?"
Ralph looked at me taken aback.
"I don't think you're stupid," he said.
I scoffed.
"The previous conversation we had proved otherwise," I replied, "you all but said it!"
He sighed.
"I don't think that at all," he said, "I was just angry."
That wasn't an excuse.
"Is this what I'm to expect when you're angry?" I demanded. "Insults instead of confidential talk? Snide remarks instead of us being able to work things out?"
He shook his head again.
"No," he promised, then added, "I don't know what it is, but you're the only woman I've ever been jealous over. I've never had this problem with anyone else, because no one else has ever made me feel the way you do. I love you so much Sar and I can't explain what the thought of another man being with you does to me."
I looked at him incredulously.
"You're the only man I've ever been with Ralph," I said, "you couldn't tell from our wedding night?"
He looked at me surprised and I looked away and blushed.
"It should have been obvious to you," I muttered, "you're jealous over nothing."
He saw my reasoning and slowly scooted closer.
"I'm sorry," he said again.
I was tired of hearing that.
"Could you please stop saying that?" I asked. "It's starting to ring hollow."
He looked at me hopefully.
"Fine, do you forgive me?" he asked.
I hesitated for a long moment before eventually nodding.
"Yes," I said.
Whether I was ready for it or not, Ralph reached over and took me in tight hug. I was hesitant to hug him back, but I did so eventually.
"I love you so much," he whispered in my ear, "and I'm glad you're going to be the mother of our baby."
I closed my eyes at his words.
"Thank you," was all I could think to say.
When he pulled back he rubbed his hand over my belly once again.
"What made you think of the name Elincia?" he asked suddenly. "Why not name her after you?"
It felt like déjà vu.
"I think the name Elincia is fitting," I said simply, "my name is very boring. I want her to have something special."
Ralph raised a brow at my reasoning.
"I think you have a very beautiful name," he stated, "one of the things that makes you so unique is your name."
I looked away from him and raised my brows.
"And my simple nature right?" I added smartly.
Ralph gave me an obvious look.
"Saria… come on, forgive me for that," he said.
I ran my hands over my face and wanted to stop talking about this.
"I'm sorry," I said, "I'm just frustrated."
He reached up and caressed my cheek.
"I know," he said, "it was my fault."
I shook my head.
"It's not just you," I said, "I gave you reason not to trust me by acting the way I did obviously."
There was a brief silence between us before Ralph broke it.
"Well, I hate arguing with you and am sorry I gave you such a hard time," he said, "you don't owe anyone in my family anything. It's an honor being married to you Saria and I mean that."
I pursed my lips together and looked away, but Ralph turned my face back to his to face him and caressed my cheek. Before I could say a word he reached over and kissed me. I understood what he was trying to do and I kissed him back, but soon after I pulled away.
"I'm not much good company right now," I said softly, "I better get back home to start your supper."
His concern deepened.
"Saria…" he trailed.
I stroked my hair behind my ears.
"Don't worry," I reassured, "I'll be fine."
Ralph hesitated, but then he got from over me and I got up off the cot. We both stood up together with Ralph attempting to help me, but I pulled my hand away.
"You don't have to do that," I said, "I'm fine."
He didn't believe me.
"Saria-" he tried.
"I'm fine," I interrupted gently and forced a smile, "you worry too much."
Ralph still didn't look convinced, but stepped aside anyway. Before he could say another word I hurried out of his office and avoided everyone's faces once I entered the main lobby. Not one to give up easily, Ralph hurried after me and caught me right out the door. He took hold of my elbow and pulled me to him.
"Let me take you home," he insisted, "I have the wagon. You'll get back faster."
I stared into his eyes for a moment and didn't want to make bigger scene than what had already taken place. Everyone was staring at us. I avoided everyone's gazes and quickly nodded so I could get down the steps.
"Fine," I replied.
A moment later he let me go, and I hurried down the stairs to wait for him. Ralph soon appeared with the wagon from behind the building and stopped so I could get on the back. However, he gave me an obvious look and rubbed the spot next to him in the front. I sighed, but I made the concession and joined him. Even so, the ride home was quiet, with short answers accounting for most of our conversation. When we ended up close to Ordon I asked him to stop, Ralph did so, but hesitantly.
"Why do you want me to let you off here?" he asked when we got to Ordon bridge.
"I want to walk the rest of the way back," I said, "it's only a couple miles."
Ralph stared at me for a long time, then reluctantly nodded and let me off the wagon. I got down carefully, while Ralph watched as I crossed the bridge and made it safely to the other side. I turned and waved to him before he turned and headed back to Kakariko Village. As I walked, I closed my eyes and felt the tears just well. I stopped for a moment when my emotions got the best of me. I sat up against a tree and cried in my palms for so many reasons. I wanted to be the perfect wife, I wanted to be the perfect daughter in law, I wanted to be the perfect everything, but the problem was I wasn't perfect. I didn't even know what perfection was now. Even more alarming was that voice in my head when I had that attack. It was faint and eerie and terrifying, but oddly familiar.
What was that? I wondered anyway. And what did it mean that 'you' will never be rid of 'me'? Who is 'me'?
A chill ran down my spine and the day had progressively gotten worse, but the argument with Ralph, along with the voice in my head made it exceptionally terrible. I had so many questions and so little answers. This was the moment I wanted to renege. This was the moment I just wanted to speak with my best friend.
I looked to the heavens and closed my eyes again.
"This would be the perfect ti me to hear my song… this would be the perfect time to talk to you Link..." I whispered, then realized what I was saying, "no, I can't... I can't."
Once I got my bearings together, I started back down the road to the village. I was trying to think of the bright side of things, but I could not see it. The day had been a flurry of surprises.
What was that voice in my head? I wondered. What was it?
Unfortunately, I was afraid I was soon going to find out.
The next chapter will be up soon. Thank you for reading.