A/N: Happy Saturday, my loves! Hope you enjoy! In which Jenny does a terrible thing due to stress.

By the time lunch had rolled around, Jennifer Shepard had sworn (no less than eleven times) that she was going to murder one Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He'd spilled her coffee, called her incessantly for fifteen minutes just to annoy her, and now he'd tried to storm into a crime scene without securing a warrant. She rolled her eyes as she flipped mindlessly through the various news channels, and sipped her replacement coffee, creatively coming up with entertaining ways to annoy her fiance when she left work.

Her phone rang, and Jenny sighed, glancing at the display. When she realised it wasn't Gibbs, she smiled, and picked it up, her mood considerably lighter than it had been previously.

"Hey, Heather."

"Hi. Just wanted you to know that David is home from the hospital."

"That's great. I'm glad everything worked out."

"Thanks again for watching Tori. It really means a lot to me."

Jenny sighed as her office phone rang, and ran her hand through her hair.

"It's no problem. I hate to cut this short, but I have to go."

"Oh, okay. Talk to you soon!"

Heather hung up and Jenny quickly picked up her phone, slipping into her Director persona.

"Shepard."

"I need you to put a fast track on that warrant."

"What have you done?" she sighed exasperatedly.

"Well, it's nice to talk to you too, sweetheart," Gibbs remarked sarcastically.

"I'm going to kill you," she muttered.

"Nah, you'd miss me. Anyway, this guy's got sensitive information and I need to get to it. If we don't get in there today, we're gonna lose him."

She tapped her nails against her desk and sighed.

"I'll do my best."

"Never expected anything less."

While he was waiting for Jenny to secure their search warrant, Gibbs had McGee checking every aspect of their suspect's background. He'd been squeaky clean when Gibbs himself had checked, which had naturally made him suspicious, and so he had enlisted the help of the tech expert, hoping he could find something they had initially missed.

"Uh, boss? Lange was working with explosives before he disappeared."

"Meaning what, Elf Lord?"

"Disarming bombs, arming them, building them out of paper or random objects..."

Gibbs frowned.

"You can make a bomb out of paper?"

McGee nodded.

"If you have the knowledge and the materials, yeah."

Gibbs rolled his eyes, and as he glanced up to the catwalk, he was relieved to see his favourite redhead walking down the steps. Her eyes met his as she walked and he flashed her a smile. She stopped in front of his desk, tossing the folded piece of paper she carried onto the top and he picked it up quickly.

"Your search warrant."

He nodded.

"Thank you, Director."

He yelled for his team, ordering them to the elevator and grabbing his gear. Halfway to the lift, he turned, walking back to the redhead still standing in front of his desk and stopped. Jenny looked at him curiously and he smiled. Kissing her cheek quickly, he leaned close to her, whispering so only she could hear.

"I owe you, Jen."

"Be safe," she whispered back.

He nodded and walked to the elevator, stepping into it quickly. Their eyes met as the doors slid shut and as she walked back up to her office, she shook her head slowly. One of these days, she was definitely going to kill that man.

Working so closely with Gibbs made McGee nervous at times. Ziva and Tony were off searching for Sergeant Lange, leaving the young agent alone with their boss, and as he tried to find a way to open the pass-code protected door, McGee found himself wishing he were anywhere else. Not that he disliked working with the silver-haired team leader, but sometimes it made him feel less than adequate.

"McGee, can you get in?"

He frowned, still examining the lock.

"Maybe."

Gibbs nodded, waiting impatiently to see if the younger man would make any progress. This was one of the many reasons he hated modern technology. It made things unnecessarily complicated. Something about this whole situation was making him uneasy, and he frowned, trying to figure out what it was that he didn't like.

"Boss, we found Lange," Tony said as he and Ziva approached.

"Good, maybe he can give McGee the code to get us in."

Tony shook his head, looking serious.

"Lange is dead."

"Bullet to the head," Ziva added.

Sighing, Gibbs turned back to McGee, and the younger agent smiled.

"I think I got it, boss."

Gibbs frowned as he noticed a faint red light near the hinge of the door, and leaned closer to examine it. It appeared to be a motion sensor, and just as McGee began opening the door, Gibbs realised what it was. He reached for the younger agent, yanking him back, and as the door crossed into the path of the light, the resounding explosion knocked them all off their feet.

Tony and Ziva, being the farthest away, were quickly able to recover, and the Senior Field Agent quickly crawled to the younger man, turning him over carefully.

"McGee! McGee, can you hear me?"

There was no answer, and Ziva grabbed Tony's arm slowly. She nodded in Gibbs' direction and he swore. Blood covered his face, his eyes were closed, and there was a large gash just above his left eye from which a large piece of metal protruded. McGee wasn't faring much better, and Ziva pulled out her phone to call an ambulance.

"Boss, can you hear me?"

He looked to the woman standing next to him, more lost than she had seen him in over a year.

"What the hell do we do?"

She sighed.

"We wait."

Ducky swore softly as he took in the scene, and when he approached the two members of the MCRT that were still standing, he frowned.

"What happened, Anthony?"

"Door was rigged to explode. McGee and Gibbs got the worst of it. Gibbs tried to pull him back, but they were still close."

Ducky nodded.

"He saved that young man's life," he said as he examined the door, "If he'd been this close when it blew, he would have died."

"They're taking them both to Portsmouth. Should be there in about ten minutes. We've still got some work to do, and then—" Tony broke off suddenly, his eyes wide.

"What is it?" Ziva asked.

"Director Shepard. We need to let her know what's happened."

"You haven't told Jennifer yet?" Ducky asked incredulously.

Tony shook his head.

"We got caught up in trying to secure everything."

Ducky frowned, meeting his eyes seriously.

"You'd better not waste any more time, then."

Sighing, Tony pulled out his phone. This was definitely not a call he wanted to make. Not again.

Placing her head in her hands, Jenny sighed, rubbing her temple tiredly. She was still waiting to hear how Gibbs' latest case had gone, and when her phone rang, she moaned softly.

"Finally."

She picked up the receiver, cradling it between her ear and shoulder, searching for her glasses.

"Shepard."

"Director Shepard, Tony DiNozzo."

She was instantly alert, sitting up straight in her chair, and frowned.

"What is it, DiNozzo?"

"Ma'am, we have a bit of a problem. When McGee and Gibbs tried to enter the suspect's home, the door exploded. Both McGee and Gibbs were taken to Portsmouth. Ducky should be there now."

"How bad was it, Tony?"

"Hard to say, ma'am."

"Thank you."

She hung up without waiting for a response, and grabbed her things as quickly as she could. Dialing Agent Fredericks as she walked to the door, Jenny fought to keep her fear in check as she waited for him to answer. Panicking would be of no use to her.

"Fredericks."

"Kenny, I need you to drive me to Portsmouth. As quickly as possible."

"Yes, ma'am. I'll meet you in the lot."

Pointedly ignoring the looks of everyone in the building as she stepped into the elevator, Jenny wiped away the stray tear that fell as soon as the doors shut. She'd told him to be safe, damn it.

"Jennifer!"

Turning at the sound of the Scottish voice, Jenny walked closer, falling into his open arms as soon as she was near enough.

"Any news?"

He shook his head.

"No. They won't let anyone back unless you're family, but you might have some luck, being Jethro's fiance."

She nodded, making her way to the reception area. The woman sitting behind the desk looked painfully bored, and she barely even glanced up at Jenny as she stood in front of her.

"Excuse me."

The woman finally looked at her, and Jenny fought the urge to scream. Couldn't she see that she was in a hurry?

"My fiance was just brought in. I need to know his condition."

"Name?"

"Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, NCIS."

"And you are?"

I'm the woman who's about to kick your ass, Jenny thought angrily.

"Director Jennifer Shepard, NCIS. I'm his boss."

The woman frowned.

"Thought he was your fiance."

"He's both. What's his condition?"

Punching in a few keys on her computer, the receptionist sighed, glancing up at the redhead.

"He's stable, but no one is allowed in. Check back in a few hours."

Fighting the urge to scream in frustration, Jenny turned on her heel, returning to Ducky. He gave her a sympathetic smile and led her to the chairs near the edge of the waiting room. Once they were seated, he took her hand in his gently, and she brought her eyes to his.

"You should know, Jethro saved young Timothy's life. Anthony told me what happened, and it's very lucky that he acted so quickly."

"I told him to be safe," Jenny whispered.

He nodded sadly, looking at her seriously.

"Jennifer...why don't you go home? Get some sleep, try to calm down...making yourself sick with worry won't help him."

She shook her head and he glared at her.

"I'm not asking you this time. Go home. I'll call you if anything changes. I don't want to see you for at least three hours."

"Ducky, what if Jethro—"

"Jethro is being given the best medical care available. Go take care of yourself, or you'll wind up here in a bed next to him."

Jenny sighed, knowing he was likely right, and when she stood, he followed her. Pulling her into his arms, he kissed the side of her head softly, and she smiled sadly.

"If you do see him first, tell him I'm going to kick his ass."

He laughed and released her slowly.

"I will. Take care, my dear."

As Kenny Fredericks drove her back to Gibbs' house, Jenny didn't even try to hide her tears as they fell.

Jenny Shepard, in the dark of her fiance's empty basement, set out very methodically about getting drunk. She'd asked Kenny to stop at a liquor store on the way, and though she knew she probably should, she didn't feel the least bit guilty about drinking. She had no idea how to handle the vast emotions spinning around her mind, and as she drained the last of the bottle, she let her eyes wander around the empty room.

It was strange, being here without a certain stoic former marine, and she walked slowly over to the boat, running her hand over its smooth surface. Her hands moved over the wood carefully, admiring the craftsmanship that it took to create such a piece of beauty. She'd never really told him how impressed she was with his carpentry skills, and now she was terrified that she would never have the chance.

If he died, what was she supposed to do? How could the world continue to turn if he was no longer there? It didn't seem possible that the universe could continue to exist without him, and Jenny fought against the sob building in her throat. She knew that thinking that way was ridiculous, that his life was merely one of many, but to her, it was the most important life in existence.

She continued to look around the basement, frowning when she came across a small box at the very back of a shelf and she carefully pulled it out and placed it onto the table in front of her. Opening it slowly, she smiled when she found herself looking at a younger Gibbs, smiling at his daughter as Shannon held her in her arms. She didn't know who had taken the photo, but seeing it brought tears to her eyes. A simple gold wedding band was next, sitting atop their marriage license, and she touched the ring gently.

As she continued to look through the box, she found a few cards and letters written by Shannon and Kelly when Gibbs had been deployed, and when she pulled out a newer photograph, she frowned. It was old, but still newer than the others, and as she stared at it, she placed her hand over her mouth. It had been taken in Paris, not long after they'd arrived, and the look on his face made her frown. How could she have ever doubted his love for her? It was there in the way he looked at her, the way he wrapped his arms around her, and the way he smiled at her. It was as obvious as the day is long, and seeing it in this picture was enough to make her cry.

She returned the picture to the box, and placed the lid on top. Her hands shook as she wiped her tears away, and she looked up to the ceiling. Suddenly, she didn't want to be alone anymore, and she reached for her keys as she made her way to the steps, not even thinking about the consequences as she threw herself behind the wheel. She only knew that she had to get out of the house. Fast.

Heather frowned at the incessant knocking on her front door, and when she opened it to find her sister leaning heavily on the frame, her confusion only increased.

"Jenny? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

She shook her head, her hair sticking to her damp cheek.

"Jethro...he was in an explosion. He's at Portsmouth right now."

Grabbing her sister's arm and pulling her into the house, Heather quickly closed the door behind her, concerned.

"Is he okay? Why aren't you there?"

Jenny shook her head again, trying to focus.

"Doctors won't let me see him. They said he's stable, but..."

She trailed off, and Heather frowned as she stumbled into the living room.

"Jenny...are you drunk?"

Frowning, Jenny sank down onto Heather's couch, staring at her hands. She didn't answer for a long moment, and then she sighed.

"I think I am, yeah."

"Did you...did you drive here?"

Jenny shrugged, and Heather grabbed her arm angrily.

"Jennifer Elise Shepard, are you out of your fucking mind? You know how dangerous it is to drive drunk! Not to mention illegal. You could have killed someone! You could have killed yourself!"

"Aunt Jenny! Hi! Did you come to play?"

Heather whipped around at the sound of her daughter's voice, and frowned. She didn't want Tori seeing Jenny this way, and she knelt down slowly.

"Tori, why don't you go play in your room for awhile? I need to talk to your Aunt Jenny."

"Okay. Is she okay? She looks sick."

Heather smiled, lightly pushing her down the hallway.

"She's fine, honey. Go play."

When she had returned, Heather sat down next to her sister and looked at her quietly for a moment. Tori was right in saying that she looked sick. She was pale, and she looked as though she hadn't slept in years. Tears slipped down her face silently, and she made no move to wipe them away.

"Jenny...I know you're upset—"

"Of course I am! What if he dies, Heather? I don't know what I'll do without him. He's all I have."

"Thanks," Heather muttered dryly.

"You know what I mean. He was there for me when no one else was. I wouldn't even be alive if it wasn't for Jethro. He's saved my life more times than I can count."

Heather took her hand, looking at her seriously.

"I know, Jenny. But he wouldn't want you to do this to yourself. It's dangerous."

"I need to go to the hospital, Heather. I have to see him. I have to."

Nodding, Heather hugged her gently.

"Of course. I'll drive. Come on."

After letting her husband know that she would be leaving for awhile, Heather Lloyd helped her sister into her car and carefully made her way to Portsmouth. She occasionally glanced at the older redhead as she drove, wondering what was going through her mind as she twisted her hands in her lap. Pulling into the lot, she took a deep breath and turned to Jenny, smiling reassuringly.

"Try to stay calm. I'm sure everything will be fine."

Jenny nodded, and they exited the car. As soon as they had entered the nearly-deserted waiting area, Jenny's eyes landed on the Scottish doctor sitting near the reception area and walked over on unsteady feet.

"Ducky, any news?"

He turned, looking at her harshly and shook his head.

"Jennifer, I told you that I would call. What are you doing here?"

"I had to see him. I can't stand it."

She stumbled and he caught her in his arms, frowning at the bourbon he smelled on her.

"You're drunk, my dear. Please tell me that you didn't drive here in your inebriated state."

"I drove her," Heather spoke up, extending her hand to Ducky, "Heather Lloyd. I'm Jenny's sister."

"Ah, how lovely to meet you, my dear. Doctor Donald Mallard, but you may call me Ducky."

He released Jenny, and took Heather's outstretched hand.

"I do wish we were meeting under more pleasant circumstances."

"I agree."

Jenny walked slowly to the receptionist desk, noticing that a different woman was working now, and smiled.

"Excuse me, is there any way I can see my fiance? His name is Leroy Jethro Gibbs."

The young woman frowned, looking up the information on her computer.

"He's been moved to another room, which is a good sign, so I'll check with his doctor and let you know, Miss..?"

"Director Jenny Shepard."

She nodded, and Jenny turned to smile at Ducky as she sank down onto one of the hard plastic chairs.

"I fucking hate hospitals," she whispered.

"You're lucky you didn't end up here yourself, Jenny. Driving to my house like that."

"Jennifer, you drove to your sister's house while intoxicated?"

Jenny sighed, placing her head in her hands.

"Save the lecture, Ducky. Please."

"Director Shepard?"

Her head snapped up, and she walked back up to the desk.

"You can see him, but he's probably asleep now."

"Thank you," Jenny whispered.

She all but ran to the room the nurse gave her, and Ducky exchanged a worried look with the younger woman left standing next to him. They only hoped Jenny would be able to handle seeing him in her (and his) current state.

Jenny fought back tears as she looked at the sleeping man in the bed before her, and made her way slowly closer. She took his hand in hers as she sat in the chair next to his bed and leaned forward, kissing his hair gently.

"What the hell were you thinking, Jethro?" she said quietly.

Her free hand began to trail through his hair and she leaned closer, resting her head on the pillow next to his head.

"You'd damn well better listen to me, Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Just because I threaten your life on a daily basis does not give you permission to die. Do you understand? You're not getting away from me that easily."

She kissed him again and stood, her lips close to his ear.

"I love you. So much."

Walking back to the receptionist desk, Jenny gave the young woman her best smile.

"Could you give me Agent Timothy McGee's room, please? I'd like to see him."

"Room 206, Director Shepard."

"Thank you."

She walked purposefully to the room, surprised to see that McGee was awake and she smiled as she made her way closer to the bed.

"How are you, Tim?"

He shrugged, and she stopped at the side of the bed.

"How's Gibbs?"

Jenny frowned, shaking her head.

"Still asleep, but he's stable."

"He saved my life," McGee whispered.

Nodding, Jenny sat down in the chair next to his bed, and he finally met her eyes. She wasn't sure, but she thought she noticed tears glistening in his, and she placed her hand gently over his.

"I know. It wasn't your fault, McGee. Gibbs knows that, too."

She watched him for a moment longer and then stood, offering him a smile.

"Get some rest. I'll see you soon."

"Thank you, Director."

As the alcohol she had consumed began to wear off, Jenny was suddenly aware of just how badly her hands were shaking as she sat next to Gibbs' hospital bed. The cut above his eye had been closed with a butterfly closure, and other than the bruising on his face, Jenny thought that perhaps she could fool herself into thinking that he was sleeping naturally. She refused to even entertain the possibility that he might not remember her when he woke, and she laid her head down next to him on the bed.

Her eyes closed and she took a deep breath to steady herself. A slight movement behind her caused her to raise up, and as she saw the concerned face of Tony DiNozzo, she sighed.

"How is he?" the younger man asked.

"Still asleep. The sedative they gave him should be wearing off within a few hours."

Tony paused in his approach to the bed and looked at her seriously.

"Do they know if his memory—"

"No. He's going to be fine."

"How do you know?"

"I just know, Tony," Jenny answered, her voice desperate, "He's going to be fine. He has to be."

Of all the people to cry in front of, she did not want that person to be Tony DiNozzo. It seemed that her body had other ideas and as the tears fell down her face, she looked down at the sleeping man next to her. She took his hand again, and bit down on her lip, trying to think of anything that would stop her tears. Jumping slightly at the hand on her shoulder. Jenny deliberately didn't turn around as she tried to calm down.

"Jenny."

The gentleness of Tony's voice caused her to turn and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders carefully. He'd never touched her this intimately before, and never would have dared to under normal circumstances, but she was too distraught and drunk to care.

"You're right. He's going to be fine."

She nodded, and he pulled out a tissue from his suit pocket. She accepted it gratefully, drying her eyes, and she smiled weakly as she turned back to Gibbs.

"He's too damn stubborn to die."

Tony laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, he is."

"I'm still gonna kick his ass, though."

Jenny sighed as she handed her car keys to Heather and hugged her gently.

"Thank you so much for taking my car back to Jethro's. I'm sorry about...all of this."

Heather shrugged, and kissed her cheek.

"Don't worry about it. Give Jethro my love when he wakes up and then smack him for me. No one gets to scare my sister but me."

Jenny laughed lightly and nodded.

"I will."

Heather hugged Ducky and once they were left alone, Ducky glared at the redhead, not even caring that they were in a public setting.

"Driving drunk is incredibly dangerous, Jennifer. I didn't think I needed to tell you that. You know better than to risk lives unnecessarily."

Jenny moaned, walking back down the hall to Gibbs' room.

"I know, Ducky. I know. It won't happen again. I shouldn't have even been drinking. I messed up."

He nodded, closing the door to the room and watching her as she looked at Gibbs.

"You're right. You shouldn't have. So why did you?"

"Because I was scared!" she sobbed, not even trying to hide her tears, "Ducky, no one would tell me anything, I didn't know if I was ever going to see Jethro again, I didn't know what to do!"

Ducky walked closer, pulling Jenny into his arms and as she sobbed into his shirt, he felt like an ass. He knew that Jenny realised the severity of her actions, knew that he shouldn't have pushed her, but he'd done it anyway. If for no other reason than to hear her admit that she was wrong.

"I know, my dear. But Jethro is going to be just fine."

She sniffed, pulling away from him, and collapsing in the chair beside the bed.

"I was so scared, Ducky. I can't lose him. I love him so much."

It was almost the exact thing Gibbs had said when Harrison had nearly killed Jenny, and Ducky ran his hand over her hair soothingly.

"I know you do. And he loves you more than anything in the world."

Jenny nodded, reaching for Gibbs' hand and Ducky hugged her gently before walking around to the other side of the bed and taking the other seat. Neither of them knew how long it would be before Gibbs regained consciousness, but Jenny knew nothing would make sense until she was looking into those bright blue eyes again.

A/N: Let me be very clear: I in no way find drinking and driving to be acceptable. Yes, I wrote it that way, and that's how it will stay in order to show just how upset Jenny really was, but that is never a good decision. I hope that was made evident by Heather and Ducky's reactions. Oh yeah, I still owe you a one-shot, don't I?