A/N: Here we are again, in the continuing ballad of Jethro and Jenny. In which Tori asks an awkward question, Jenny and Gibbs have a little risky fun, and Agent Fredericks nearly gets stabbed. Hope you like it!
She was anxious. To make matters worse, she didn't have the slightest idea what she was anxious about. Her day had passed without any ops failing, her meetings had all gone smoothly, Gibbs hadn't pissed anyone off (a miracle in and of itself), and she'd even managed to secure more money for Abby's lab...so her current emotional state made absolutely no sense. As she sat behind her desk, she gripped the top so tightly that her knuckles were white, and tried to keep her breathing under control.
The knock at her door barely registered through the fog of her brain, and it took her longer than she would ever admit to look up.
"Come in."
Tony opened the door, a smile on his face as he carried the files to her desk, and as he sat them down in front of her, he noticed that she didn't return his smile.
"Director?"
Jenny saw his lips moving, heard the concern in his voice, but she couldn't bring herself to answer him. What in the hell was going on with her?
When Tony DiNozzo walked into Director Shepard's office, he only had one thing on his mind. He'd offered to take their reports to her as an excuse to thank her for the advice she'd given him earlier in the week. It had worked perfectly, and he was more grateful to her than he'd ever been. He couldn't believe how lucky he'd been that Ziva had agreed to go on a date with him the following weekend, and he hadn't been able to stop smiling since.
As he approached her desk, he noticed that she seemed distracted, and gave her a smile. She didn't seem to be paying attention, and he frowned as he looked at her.
"Director?"
She stayed silent, but even from where he stood, he could see her body trembling. He leaned closer, just enough that he could see her eyes, and knelt down to be level with her.
"Director Shepard?"
She shook her head slowly, and finally her eyes met his.
"What can I do?" he asked gently.
For a moment, he thought she would answer him, but she blinked slowly, her eyes staying closed longer than she'd thought possible. He reached out to touch her hand, and when he spoke again, his voice was softer than she'd ever heard it.
"Jenny?"
"Get Gibbs," she whispered finally.
He nodded, pulling out his phone. His first instinct had been to run for the older agent, but there was no way he was going to leave her this way. He just hoped Gibbs was still at his desk. They didn't have time to spare.
Rolling his eyes as his phone rang, Gibbs put it to his ear, tipping his chair back lazily.
"You get lost, DiNozzo? It's the only office with a usually angry redhead."
"Boss, you need to get up here now."
Gibbs frowned, sitting up slightly.
"Why?"
"Something's wrong with Jenny."
Not even bothering to correct him for using her name, Gibbs snapped his phone shut, bolting for the stairs. He took them two at a time, throwing her door open in record time, and when he approached the younger agent, Tony leaned in closely.
"I'm not sure what to do, boss. I've never seen her like this."
Gibbs stepped past him, walking around to the opposite side of her desk, and spun her chair around slowly. He knelt down in front of her, pointedly ignoring the agent still in the room, and took her hand in his.
"Hey," he said gently, "can you hear me?"
She nodded slowly, and he gave her a small smile.
"Good. I want you to listen to me. Take a deep breath, really slowly, and then I want you to count to ten. Okay?"
When she didn't answer, he tapped his finger on her knee lightly.
"Stay with me."
Finally, she nodded, and he smiled again. At his count, she took a slow breath, and he began counting slowly. Before he had even made it to five, her breath hitched in her throat and she closed her eyes, her head falling forward as she gasped. Gibbs turned to Tony, who had been standing on the other side of her desk and nodded to the door.
"Bring me some water."
"On it, boss."
As soon as Tony had left the room, Gibbs tilted Jenny's chin upward, forcing her to look at him.
"It's okay, Jen. You can do this."
She took a deep breath, and as he counted to ten once more, he could feel her body shaking as she exhaled. Tony walked towards them slowly, not wanting to make the situation worse, and held out the paper cup carefully.
"Here, boss."
Gibbs took it from him, holding it close enough that she could reach for it if she wanted, and nodded.
"One more time, Jenny. You've got this."
Her breath caught and she shook her head.
"I can't," she gasped.
"Yes, you can. Take it slow."
He glanced at Tony, and jerked his head towards the door.
"Don't let anyone near her office until this is taken care of."
The younger agent nodded, stepping outside and closing the door behind him. Not only had Gibbs wanted the room cleared, he knew Tony would actually do as he was told. They couldn't risk someone barging in while Jenny was in such a fragile state. He turned his attention back to the redhead in front of him, and he cupped her face gently with his hand.
"Jen? You can do this."
She shook her head, wide eyes locking on his.
"I can't, Jethro, I—"
"Shh...Jen. I'm right here. I've got you."
Taking another deep breath, she finally made it to the count of ten, and as she exhaled slowly, he wrapped his arms around her. He kissed the side of her head softly, smoothing his hand over the fiery tresses, and she took another shaky breath.
"Talk me through it, Jen. What's going through your mind?"
She drew back, looking at him with glassy eyes, and he brushed her hair behind her ear, gently kissing her cheek. He waited for her to speak, and she sighed.
"I don't know," she admitted, "I just...everything was so loud, even the ticking of my watch was so loud I couldn't stand it. Everything seemed to move really fast and slow at the same time...I can't explain it. I just...I couldn't focus, couldn't think, I could hardly breathe. When Tony came in, I could hear his voice, but the words didn't register. I couldn't comprehend it. It was...I felt so overwhelmed, and..."
She broke off, her voice breaking quietly, and he held her closer.
"Shh. It's over. Everything's okay now."
"I feel so stupid," she whispered.
"Nah," he said with an encouraging smile, "Only way you could ever be stupid is if you had a brain transplant."
Jenny laughed breathlessly, and he straightened up, holding out his hand. She took it, and he pulled her into his arms.
"You're safe, Jen. I'm not letting anything happen to you."
"I guess I should see what Tony wanted..." Jenny sighed, deliberately changing the subject.
He nodded.
"Yeah, or we could let him stand out there all night."
"Shut up, Jethro."
As she walked towards her car, Jenny frowned at the sudden feeling of unease. She couldn't afford to have another breakdown, not here, and it was only when she reached into her purse for her knife that she felt calmer. She could sense that she wasn't alone in the lot, and as she noticed the figure standing behind her car, she bit back a scream. Gibbs had already gone home for the night, and she couldn't think of anyone else who would be standing near her vehicle. Her knife was gripped tightly in her hand, and just as she was about to make a move, a quiet voice cut through her panic.
"Director Shepard?"
Her eyes finally adjusted enough for her to recognise the man before her and she swore softly.
"Damn it, Kenny. I'm putting a bell on you."
"Sorry, ma'am. I didn't mean to startle you."
She waved his apology away.
"It's not your fault."
"Are you ready to leave?"
Nodding, Jenny slid into the back seat and as he drove the short distance to Gibbs' house, Jenny wondered what in the hell was causing her to be so nervous and paranoid.
Gibbs frowned as he picked up his sander, turning it over in his hands. The boat was nearly finished, there was no need for him to sand the wood, but holding the small object helped him think better. He'd called Ducky to ask him about Jenny's panic attack, and he'd been pondering the doctor's words ever since. He'd explained that Jenny had likely experienced sensory overload, and he'd been trying to figure out the best way to help her through it, though he had no idea what had caused it.
Her footsteps on the stairs made him turn, and he glanced at his watch. It was late, nearing midnight, and he offered her a smile as she walked slowly closer.
"How was the rest of your night?"
"I nearly stabbed Kenny Fredericks."
He frowned, staring at her as he tried to determine whether or not she was serious. She certainly seemed to be, and she slid onto the stool carefully, eyeing the bourbon next to his hand.
"Any particular reason?"
"He was waiting for me at my car to drive me home."
"Thought that's what drivers did."
Jenny glared at him, and sighed.
"It is. I couldn't tell who he was at first. It scared me. I know there's no possible way it could have been, but I thought it was Harrison."
"Jen—"
"I know. I know he's dead. I know it's completely ridiculous. It's been almost a year. Why am I still such a mess?"
He shook his head, looking at her seriously.
"You're not. You're experiencing PTSD. People in combat deal with it all the time, and—"
"I wasn't in a war zone, Jethro," she snapped.
"I know. But you were subjected to a severely traumatic event, and it's not uncommon for rape victims to go through it. I'd be more concerned if you weren't behaving this way."
Whatever fight she had been building towards suddenly left her, and she nodded silently, placing her head in her hand.
"I just...I keep trying to find a part of myself that he didn't touch. In one way or another, his fingerprints are all over my life. It's driving me crazy. I can't stand feeling like this. It hits me at the most random moments, and I don't know how to stop it. I don't know how to control it."
Gibbs nodded, picking up the mason jar and taking a slow drink.
"I know, Jen. But let me ask you something. You know the part of you that holds our relationship so tightly? The part of you that loves so fiercely that you would die for it?"
She nodded, and he smiled.
"He can't touch that. Ever. He can never get to that place in your mind or in your heart. That's what matters most to you, and he's not going to taint that."
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and when she rested her head on his chest, he kissed the top of her head gently.
"Don't let that bastard win, Jen. You're so much stronger than he ever was."
As his lips met hers, Jenny found herself beginning to believe him.
September was drawing to a close, and Jenny gave her niece a tired smile as she listened to her talk excitedly about her new baby sister. Heather was nearly five months pregnant now, and she'd asked her sister to watch Tori while she'd gone to see her doctor. The little girl had talked of nothing else, and as Gibbs searched for something to entertain her with, Jenny had become trapped by her endless chatter.
"Daddy wants to name her Vera, but Mommy wants to name her Lana."
"Which one do you like?"
"I wanted to name her Leia," Tori pouted, "but Mommy and Daddy said no."
Jenny laughed.
"You want to name every girl Leia. She's your favourite."
Tori nodded, her hair bouncing in its ponytail.
"I guess if I had to pick one of those names, I would pick Lana. It's easy to spell," she said seriously.
The older redhead reached for her coffee, just as Gibbs walked back into the room and Tori looked between them curiously.
"Are you going to have a baby, Aunt Jenny?"
Jenny shook her head.
"No. You're enough of a handful for me," she replied, smiling as she reached out to tickle the little girl.
Tori laughed, jumping away from her, and she looked at Gibbs seriously.
"How did the baby get into Mommy's stomach?"
Jenny choked on her coffee, nearly dropping it, and set it down on the table in front of her. She glanced up at Gibbs and he simply shrugged.
"Why don't you ask your mommy..." Jenny answered weakly.
"I did," Tori said petulantly, "but she told me to ask again when I was older."
"Well, I think you should listen to her," Gibbs said, looking at her sternly.
Tori sighed dramatically, throwing herself onto her back.
"Fine."
"Tori, why don't you go play in the back yard. I need to talk to Jethro for a minute."
Bouncing up from her position on the couch, Tori raced to the back door, and as soon as it had closed behind her, Jenny rounded on Gibbs.
"You weren't really much help there."
He held up his hands.
"Come on, Jenny. She's a kid. They're curious."
"Well, what did you tell Kelly when she asked about it?"
Shrugging, he leaned down to kiss her cheek.
"I didn't. Told her to ask Shannon. No idea what Shannon told her."
Jenny glared at him, causing him to laugh, and she moaned quietly, putting her head in her hands.
"Why do they have to ask so many questions?"
"That's how you learn. Didn't they teach you that in school?"
"Nope. Must have stopped doing it by the time I got there," she said sarcastically.
He frowned.
"You calling me old again, Jen?"
"Maybe. What are you going to do about it?"
Pulling her towards him, his mouth found hers instantly, his tongue dancing over hers and she moaned, her fingers finding his waist.
"Hush," he whispered, "Unless you want Tori to hear you."
She nodded, but as soon as his hand went to her jeans, she broke away, her eyes wide.
"Are you insane? She could walk in and see us."
"Well, then she'd have her answer," he quipped.
"I'm serious, Jethro. We can't—"
He kissed her again, effectively shutting her up, and as his right hand wound into her hair, his left trailed down her side. Undoing the button on her jeans, he deftly slid his hand past the lace of her underwear and as he touched her, Jenny bit down on her lips to keep herself from making any noise. Her hips jerked against him, and he trailed his lips along the base of her throat.
Speeding up his movements, he slid his fingers into her, his voice low in her ear.
"Still want me to stop, Jen?"
She shook her head, letting it fall back on the couch as he crooked his fingers, and she gasped as he moved faster. The added danger of possibly being caught had brought her to the edge in record time, and her hips ground into his hand rapidly. Her hand reached for his, grabbing the one he'd previously had in her hair, and as she gripped his fingers, he kissed her again.
"Jethro," she whispered, her eyes slipping closed, "Don't stop."
"Wasn't planning on it."
He knew that she would have to be quiet, but he also knew how bad Jenny was at pacing herself. Just in time, he clamped his hand over her mouth, feeling her moan against his skin as she came, and he smiled at her as he brought her down slowly.
"I can't believe that just happened," she murmured, her head resting on his shoulder.
He kissed her bowed head lightly.
"Who's old now, Jen?"
"Still you," she laughed.
Pulling away from her carefully, he smiled at her as she fastened the button on her jeans, and he held out his hand. She took it, allowing him to pull her to her feet, and when he steered her towards the back yard, she frowned.
"Where are we going?"
"Got to go make sure Tori hasn't set the yard on fire."
She looked at him, confused.
"How would she have done that?"
"Never underestimate kids, Jenny," he said simply.
Gibbs frowned as Jenny tossed and turned next to him as she slept, and he glanced at his phone to check the time. They'd only gone to bed two hours earlier, and it seemed as though Jenny's sleep was anything but peaceful. He never knew if she was better off left sleeping, forcing her to struggle with the demons that plagued her nightmares, or if he should wake her to hopefully give her even the smallest semblance of peace.
She whimpered quietly, turning away from him and he sighed as he watched her. She'd never slept well, in all the years he'd known her, consistently haunted by her dreams, and it had always saddened him. He knew all too well how it felt to be tormented by nightmares, and he hated that she suffered so much. She turned again, her breathing becoming more ragged, and he looked at her with growing concern as she moaned softly.
Deciding it would be best to "accidentally" wake her, he turned over on his side, rougher than he would have normally done, and he made sure to nudge her with his arm. She jerked awake, green eyes scanning the room frantically, and he shifted so that he could see her.
"Jen?"
She met his eyes, still slightly disoriented, and blinked rapidly. He immediately regretted waking her, regardless of the fact that he had done it from a place of concern, and she reached for his hand slowly as she took a shaking breath.
"You want to talk about it?"
Her head shook, and he noticed that her free hand was gripping the sheet so tightly that he was sure it was painful. She finally released it, pushing her hair back from her face with a sigh, and he squeezed her other hand gently. Settling back onto the bed, she turned slightly, burying her face in her pillow. He didn't like seeing her this way, and he couldn't help but feel that this was a significant step backward in her healing process.
Rather than speaking, he ran his thumb lightly over the back of her hand, and she took another shaking breath.
"I feel so damn weak," she whispered finally.
He glanced over at her, and frowned at the tears shining in her eyes.
"What do you mean?"
"It was about Harrison. Shawn Harrison," she clarified.
Nodding, he waited, not wanting to pressure her.
"It was the same as the night it happened, but instead of strangling me, he held his hand over my mouth to keep me from screaming. I kept trying to get away, but I couldn't."
Gibbs wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer, and when she laid her head on his chest, he kissed her hair. He straightened the sheets around them, knowing how she always needed something covering her to sleep, and he raked his fingers through her hair soothingly.
"It's over now, Jen. He's dead. He can never hurt you again."
She shook her head and he felt a tear drop onto his shirt. As he turned her words over in his mind, he realised with a jolt that he had likely contributed to her nightmares that night. He felt horrible, and he shifted slightly, just enough that he could look down at her.
"I'm sorry."
She frowned, but didn't move.
"What?"
"Earlier today, in the living room, when we...I covered your mouth so Tori wouldn't hear. I shouldn't have done that."
Now, she did move, raising up to look at him incredulously.
"It isn't your fault, Jethro. This is just my mind's way of reminding me how messed up I am. It wasn't that."
He wasn't convinced, but nodded nonetheless. She smiled sadly when he kissed her gently, and laid back down. Her hair fell over his chest like flames, and he tightened his hold on her.
"Try to get some sleep, Jen."
She nodded, but there was still a sheen of fear in her eyes that he didn't like. He looked at her seriously, and frowned.
"What is it?"
"Could you...would you turn on the light? It's too dark in here."
Without hesitating, he reached for the lamp on the bedside table, and as the light flooded the room, she visibly relaxed. She smiled in thanks, and he kissed her again before she turned onto her side. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her back against him, and he kissed the base of her throat lightly.
"Hey, Jen...don't feel too bad. Lots of people are afraid of the dark. Little kids—"
"Shut up, Jethro."
He laughed, and she smiled as she closed her eyes.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
Though he would never tell her, seeing Jenny struggle was beginning to take its toll on him. He constantly worried about her, wondering if she was ever going to be able to move on from that cold night in October, and he sighed as he watched her sleep. It was late in the afternoon, and while he hadn't really been surprised that she'd been exhausted from the previous night, he had been when she'd told him that she was going to lie down while he worked. She so rarely tried to sleep during the day, and he knew that everything was starting to catch up with her as well.
Kissing her cheek softly, he walked back to his boat, carefully examining it for anything that needed a last minute repair. It was finished now, and he had to admit that it felt somewhat bittersweet to look at the finished product. He was planning on moving it in a few days, and he had already decided to do it while Jenny was out of the house. After all, he couldn't risk her discovering the magician's secret of how he got the boat out of his basement.
He ran his hand over the smooth wood, the texture giving him a sense of quiet peace, and he smiled to himself. Kelly would have loved this boat, and he wished fervently that she were still here to see it. Sometimes, he missed her and Shannon so much that he thought it would kill him, but then he remembered the woman sleeping not twenty feet away from him. She made every moment of his life more bearable, even when he wanted to strangle her for being so damn infuriating, and he couldn't imagine his life without her again.
A sudden movement caused him to turn, and he frowned when he noticed Jenny had woken. She was sitting up now, her knees to her chest and her head resting on them heavily. He walked around the boat, keeping his distance, and looked at her carefully. She was shaking, but he couldn't tell whether or not she was actually crying.
"Jenny?"
She sighed, raising her head to look at him, and he frowned at the paleness of her skin.
"Every damn time," she whispered.
He didn't need to ask what she meant, but he nodded his encouragement anyway. She brushed her hair away from her face, and slammed her hand down onto the couch angrily.
"Is it too much to ask for a bit of uninterrupted sleep? I'm not asking for anything unreasonable. I just want to be able to sleep without being terrified."
He leaned against the boat, not wanting to move too fast, and she whipped her head around to glare at him.
"What does it feel like to sleep for longer than two hours at a time? Please tell me. I really want to know."
Knowing that she wasn't seriously asking him to answer, he simply shrugged. He didn't quite know what to say, wasn't sure how to help her, and so he stayed silent.
"This..." she said quietly, gesturing broadly, "this is why."
"Why what?"
"Back in November. When I took all those pills and nearly killed myself. You asked me why I'd done it. Here's your answer. All of this. Jumping at shadows, showering with a knife, not sleeping, having nightmares when I do sleep."
All of her previous anger seemed to have left her as quickly as it had come, and she glanced up at him.
"I can't live like this, Jethro," she whispered, "I can't...I can't do it anymore."
He crossed the room, kneeling in front of her, and placed his hand on her knee gently.
"Don't say that, Jen. You can get through this."
She shook her head, emerald eyes locking onto cobalt blue.
"I'm so fucking tired."
Her voice broke softly, and he nodded, reaching for her hand.
"I know. Believe me, I know. I've been trying to find a way to help you, because it's been killing me to watch you suffer like this."
Again, her head shook, her hair falling around her face in a flaming curtain.
"I know," she murmured, "and I hate that. You're getting caught up in the crossfire of my messed up life, and I hate myself for it. Don't think I haven't noticed that you finished the boat. You've spent so much time down here trying to sort everything out, and you think best when you're working on your boat. And I can see it in your eyes when you look at me. Like you're trying to solve some case, some big mystery. I hate what this has done to me, and I hate myself even more for putting you through it, too."
He reached out, sweeping her hair back so he could look into her eyes, and he shook his head.
"It isn't your fault. I told you that the night that it happened. I don't blame you for it, or anything that has happened since. You shouldn't, either."
"I can't do this anymore," she repeated, "I just want it all to stop. Even being dead has to be better than this."
He gripped her hand tightly, shaking his head.
"No," he said firmly, "It wouldn't be."
"I've been such a burden to everyone. You, Ducky, Heather, hell...even Tony and Burley. I don't want to keep subjecting you all to my bullshit."
"You being dead would hurt them so much more than anything you're going through. And it would destroy me, Jen. I don't know how to fix this yet, but I know that your death isn't the answer."
She didn't respond, and he stared up at her, his eyes almost pleading.
"I know that you feel lost. I know you're scared, and exhausted. But we can get through this together."
His eyes searched hers desperately, the hollow look in them scaring him more than he would ever admit, and he ran his fingers gently over her skin.
"I love you. More than anything in the entire universe, and I would do anything if it could make it all stop."
"I know," she whispered.
He kissed her softly, and when she didn't return it, he knew that this was more serious than he'd previously thought. She stood up slowly, bending down to kiss him once, and when she moved past him, he frowned.
"Jen?"
"I'm going to lay down upstairs. The bed is a bit more comfortable than that couch."
"I'll be right there."
She shook her head.
"Don't. I'd rather be alone right now."
Though his every instinct was screaming at him to follow her, he nodded, walking over to the table. She walked up the stairs, and as he listened to her footsteps above his head, he pulled out his phone. He needed help on this one, and as it rang, he prayed the doctor wasn't busy.
"Hello?"
Thank God.
"Ducky, I need to talk to you. It's important."
"Certainly, Jethro. What's on your mind?"
"You talked to Jenny in her office the day that she tried to kill herself."
"Yes, I remember."
He sighed.
"What did she say?"
"Well, as I told you, she was in a very dark place. The attack had only happened a month prior, and she was experiencing extreme PTSD. She said that she felt as though she were inconveniencing everyone in her life and that they would be better off without her. She was quite upset, and understandably so. Why do you ask?"
As he relayed his conversation to the older man, Gibbs tried to ignore the feeling that was telling him to disregard Jenny's wishes and go upstairs. He knew all too well how she reacted when he hovered too closely, even out of concern, and he didn't want her to feel trapped. She was already feeling that way to an extent, and he would hate himself for making it worse.
"Where is she now?"
"Upstairs. Said she wanted to lie down. Bed's more comfortable."
"And you believed her? Jethro, does Jennifer know where you keep your SIG?"
"Yeah, but it's in the basement with me."
"What about hers?"
Shit. He'd forgotten that Jenny still carried a firearm. He hung up the phone, bolting for the steps as fast as he could.
Glaring at her hands as they shook, Jenny turned the weapon over slowly, running her fingers over the smooth metal. She wondered at the bullets contained in the small device, amazed that something so tiny could cause such destruction. That it had the power to end lives. After all, she'd seen it happen often enough. She'd even been the cause of some of those deaths.
She knew, as she looked down the barrel curiously, that it would be so simple to do. Click off the safety, hold it to her head, and pull the trigger. Her pain would be over. But still...even as she thought about it, there was something in her that made her hesitate. What Ducky had told her almost a year ago echoed in her mind, and she frowned.
What about all the memories she'd made with Gibbs, with Heather, with Tori? Would she keep them in death? Was there even anything after? What about her upcoming wedding? Did she really want to let that go, along with the life that came with it? She'd spent so many years of her life regretting leaving him, did she really want to do it on such a permanent level? After all, there was no coming back from this. And what about the memories she hadn't made yet? Was she really prepared to give all of that up?
She sighed as she placed the weapon back in the bedside drawer and curled onto her side. Maybe what Gibbs had said to her in the basement was true. Maybe they could get through this together.
"Jen?"
She turned at the sound of his voice, and he let out a sigh of relief.
"Where's your gun?"
Wordlessly, she gestured to the table, and he opened the drawer, pulling it out slowly. It was still warm from being held in her hands, and he frowned as it sat in his palm.
"You've held this recently."
She nodded, and he looked at her seriously.
"Jen...please. Don't."
He sat down next to her and she raised up, curling her feet under her. Tilting her head up, he met her eyes, and she looked away, unable to handle the emotions she saw.
"I almost did," she said finally, so quiet he almost didn't hear.
Setting the gun on the ground, Gibbs touched her cheek gently, noticing how cold her skin had become.
"I'm so proud of you," he whispered, "You've come so far, and you're so strong. You're the bravest person I know, and you're going to get through this."
She fell forward into his arms, her head resting on his shoulder, and as he wrapped his arms around her, he noticed how thin she was. He knew she was prone to "forgetting" to eat, often going days without it, but this was beginning to worry him.
"I'm sorry," she said, her voice muffled by his shoulder.
"Don't apologise. You've done nothing wrong."
"I love you."
He smiled, kissing her hair.
"I know."
She raised up, her eyes meeting his slowly, and she offered him a weak smile.
"I'm going to be pretty much insufferable until I manage to get some sleep," she informed him bluntly.
He nodded seriously.
"I'm well aware of how you are when you're running on pure caffeine."
She smacked his arm lightly, and he kissed her cheek gently.
"I'm also going to hold the way you've treated me today over your head the next time you try to pretend that you don't love me."
"Wouldn't expect anything less."
When Jenny opened her eyes, her first instinct was to glance at the clock. It had been dark when she'd fallen asleep, and the bright sunlight that was streaming through the room strongly suggested that it was now morning. She was unable to remember the exact time she'd lain down, but by her count, she'd been asleep for nearly ten hours, and she frowned. Something wasn't quite right here.
Swinging her feet over the side of the bed, Jenny quietly walked down the steps, intent on finding her fiance, and when she discovered him in the kitchen pouring a cup of coffee, she frowned.
"Morning, Jen."
"What day is it?" she asked slowly.
"Tuesday."
"And why aren't you at work?"
He shrugged.
"Took a personal day."
"Uh-huh," she answered carefully, "and is there any particular reason why my alarm neglected to sound this morning?"
"Turned it off."
"Why?"
"You were sleeping," he said, as if it were obvious.
He walked closer to her, passing her a cup of coffee, and as he sat down at the table, she noticed a bottle on the counter behind him.
"What are those?"
She looked pointedly at the bottle and he shrugged again.
"Jethro, what did you do?"
"Slipped a few sleeping pills into your tea last night."
Staring at him as though he'd lost his mind, Jenny set her cup down, and he waited.
"Leroy Jethro Gibbs...you drugged me?"
"In a manner of speaking."
"And what were you hoping to achieve by doing that?"
He nodded at her, taking a drink of his coffee.
"You slept. For more than two hours. And you stayed asleep."
It was such a caring gesture that she didn't even have the will to be angry. In truth, she felt more at ease than she had in weeks, and though she would never admit it, she'd needed the sleep like air.
"Fair enough."
He looked at her as she took a long drink from her coffee and smiled. She looked better than she had in a long time; her skin had regained most of its colour, her eyes were brighter, and she seemed more relaxed than he'd known her to be in almost a year.
"Don't get used to taking days off. Tomorrow, we're back at work."
"Live a little, Jen," he smirked, not really meaning it.
"Jethro, you have two choices here: either return to work or watch me lose my mind and kill you."
"Point taken."
He leaned across the table, kissing her softly, and when she pulled away, she gave him a smile that, for the first time in days, actually met her eyes.
"Thank you."
Cup of coffee now abandoned, he stood and walked to her, pulling her to her feet. As he leaned down to kiss her again, he brushed her hair behind her ear.
"I told you: I'd do anything to make it stop."
"One night of sleep won't fix this, Jethro," she reminded him.
He nodded.
"I know. But it's a start. And we've got the rest of our lives."
She pulled him down to her, and kissed him, her tongue dancing lightly over his. He was right. They had the rest of their lives, and she was going to make sure that she spent hers with him.
A/N: You didn't really think I was going to kill Jenny, did you? We're getting very close to the wedding, which I have decided that I'm going to write after all. Let me know what you think!