A/N
minus points on my part for a cruelly punned chapter title X'D
I needed him
I had just turned 18 and was heading off to college, however news had reached Ratchet that he was needed again to gather other bots that had been returning to Cybertron to help rebuild Cybertron.
"That's right. He went back again after-"
"Mm-hmm." She cut him off briskly, "After that whole Unicron trying to snuff Primus thing and the Allspark back in the well, We returned to Earth and were in mourning, but Ratchet he took it upon himself to be the strong glue, despite us both a mess...It was for me, but I feel terrible for it." She added helplessly.
"Ratchets more life experienced then all of us, mentally, responsibly; you were still only sixteen at the time El."
"Still..."
"Come on El, what happened next?"
"Right where was I?"
"Are you absolutely certain you'll be alright while I am absent?" Ratchet asked.
Ellen was moving boxes of her things to take to college and the other stuff to be put away in storage. "Sure Ratch, I've been trying to expand my borders, trying to be more independent, I've been trying to cling to the usual routine, which is funny because I hated the usual routine as a kid." She scratched her head.
He glared at her unconvinced.
She chuckled nervously, "Emphasis on trying." She shoved her shaky hands in her pockets, "I'm really nervous to be honest, usually it was just 'go to school, come back and repeat' but I'll be staying this time, on my own. I need you Ratch, but I know you have to go and help them."
"Not necessarily."
She winced, "Don't sound like your giving me the choice here, please...because I would never want you to leave. We both know this." She then started scratching the back of her hands.
"No your right, I shouldn't fill your head with nonsense. You don't need that." he added solemnly.
Ellen looked at him then grinned, "Whoa-whoa. Hold on a minute he-re. I'm right?" she turned around on her heels, "The beacons have been lit!"
Ratchet let out a typical groan. "Please stop."
She did, taking a step back. "Ratchet? Listen about College, what should I expect?"
He cocked his head to the side, "In what context?"
"What if-what if my roommate is a total ass? Even worse what if their awesome? If I'm on my own would I still be able to withstand peer pressure? It'll be like living in a giant mansion with hundreds of people I don't know if I can relate with. What if I get the reputation of being the 'weird one'? What happens if I lead people on when I don't even know that I'm doing it? What if someone is trying to lead me on? And I don't know that their doing that but I wouldn't even know the signs since I have no signals whatsoever romantically or-se-Y-Y'know? I don't want to emotionally harm people. What if I don't get the recent slang? What about harmful contents? What's a mixer? What's the freshman fifteen? I just want to play games, read, argue about pointless stuff online and occasionally study...the most socializing I can handle are under the tree in a group of eight at the maximum and- oh my species 8472 I can't DO THIS!"
Ratchet shook his head lightly sighing and tutting, "Ellen, calm down. If you're unsure of something research it, act as you would normally your typical behavior is what makes you, you, attempting anything else would just create a worse scenario. If others attempt courting, just look into usual behavior patterns and if things take a turn, you simply inform the person of your own identity and if you are seen as the 'lead' simply apologize for any misunderstanding. A mixer is a party between a single sorority and a single fraternity, no one else is invited. Do with what you will with your interests and hobbies, don't let others force you into situations you don't want to be in, whether they conflict with your moral compass or simply because you dislike their own interests, if they alienate you for this, they are not worthy candidates as friends and should discharge them immediately. Attempt to socialize but don't force yourself let yourself be eased into it to a level your comfortable with...lastly you can do this. It's just a slightly different level than high school."
She blinked and calmed down immensely, feeling very admirable towards her guardian. "Wow Ratch, you've been looking this stuff up huh? Wish I brought a notepad."
He scoffed looking away, "Pu-lease, I am very thorough I will have you know...I just wanted to, reassure you, you become easily stressed in alien scenarios. Even now your heart rate is erratic for Primus sake!"
"Thank you...Ratchet." She blushed.
His face relaxed, giving a knowing nod and smiling fondly. But suddenly as though remembering something he took a step forward towards her and knelt down becoming dangerously close to her face.
"R-Ratch? What-"
"The Freshman fifteen...well it's a vulgar act and if I ever find out that you participate in such foulness or any other illegal, harmful, or disagreeable activities that goes against everything we taught you, I will show up on the campus grounds and drag you out of that college by the scruff of your tiny shirt collar and then I'd be the one you would get your masters degree from, understand?"
She nodded frantically out of fear, "I-I don't understand e-everything that was just said, but I choose life Ratch I choose life! I'll be good! We wants it! We needs it! Must have the precious! Ellen's a good human!"
Like the flipping of a switch his face went back to a light smile, though to Ellen this made it all the more eerie, he patted her on the head, "That, is the correct answer."
"H-Ha-Ha, th-thats great." She said with a twitchy smile. "Its all-
"Ellen."
"Hm?"
"You can call me, for anything." He started pacing slowly while using hand gestures, "If your having trouble with assignments, other humans, your health." He knelt down close again, carefully debating his next words with care. "I know these, past couple of years have been difficult, there was a time I wished to dismiss your existence because of how delicate and short lived humans are, to become attached to a species that is merely a blink in existence was..." he winced, "too painful to comprehend, my logic was to be hurtful I was trying to detour this in denial feeling, so you would avoid me all together. I felt it was better that way."
"I get it Ratch...actually I understand your reasons even more now." She said coldly.
Ratchets optics flashed fearfully to her statement. "No-No-No. Don't you ever say I was right! Because I wasn't I was wrong, my actions and words were inexcusably at the time, borderline-"
"But you were able to avoid the pain...the pain of feeling like your dying inside that stays with you always. People are always saying loss makes you grow, if they meant grow into a huge cynical asshole, grow into something I never wanted to become?" she put her hands behind her head taking deep breaths, "I don't want to become that person, I don't want to change like that."
"Then don't make the same mistakes I did with you humans, shutting out people merely to hide your fears. With the good you have to except the bad, otherwise you're just not really living, just existing without timeless memories, without the honor and pleasure to know those who are gone-" He then said in a shaky voice. "Or who will eventually go."
"Ratchet." Ellen begged.
He wiped a hand over his optics, "Primus, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make this a dower lecture, the point I'm trying to make is that I'm glad to have met all of you." He smiled.
"Ratch..." she blushed a little.
"Despite your 'quirks'." He flatly expressed.
She pulled a face. "AAA-nd you blew it-" she started speaking over him. "But hey, did I leave a good impression?"
He stepped back with a disgusted look on his face, "Oh, Primus, no. You were like two panels of metal scraping down a building at considerable speed causing combustion and a terrible screeching sound, unbearable."
"There must have been something?" She protested.
"That's all you're getting, I still have a reputation to uphold."
"You're terrible." She joked, pulling out her phone and then pulled up a list she made to get ready for college, thinking about it, it upset her a little, thinking that 'he' wasn't here to see her off. That reality hit her without warning now and then. "It still hurts." She muttered.
"I know. I miss him too." He replied quietly looking around, "N-Now then, you will send a schedule of when you can leave the campus for holidays and other social occasions won't you?"
"Of course, top priority." She gave him a thumbs up.
"Have you packed a first aid kit?"
She cocked an eyebrow, "I'm pretty sure they have them on campus."
"Ye-ep, ep, ep, I don't trust anything that I haven't given a thorough check and pass to. I'm not comfortable as it is that you'll have to receive medical treatment from someone who isn't me, so try to make this bearable for me at least."
She shrugged, letting him have his way.
"Well I think that's everything." He pondered.
Ellen flapped her arms, patting her sides, "I guess, I'll see you in a few weeks or so?"
"Yes, I will of course contact you on a regular basis and without warning, so you better answer every. Single. Time."
She scratched her head, "Might get kicked out of a few lectures, but a'right."
He stared at her for a while, slightly spacing out, then snapping out of it as he clasped his hands together. "Well, best get going now."
"U-huh."
"A few weeks can be quite long for a human. Time perspective you understand."
"Sure, sure."
He folded his arms, "You know it's quite acceptable to emote at times like these Ellen. There's no shame in it."
"Yep."
He tapped his foot frustratingly. "Oh for Primus sake..." he turned to her and knelt down, "come here." He ordered. She slowly strode up to his feet, in a swift action that made Ellen nearly bite her tongue, he scooped her up into his hand and embraced her into a hug, she gripped his shoulder with a free hand and to the feeling of how real this whole thing suddenly was, she bit her quivering lip. "I will mi- make sure your deadlines are being handed in on time!"
"Y-You c-can t-try." She stuttered. "M-Maybe I can b-break a leg on p-p-purpose?" she whimpered.
"Don't you dare start that again...but, the sentiment is appreciated." He uttered softly.
She felt his grip tighten as Ellen started to feel restricted like a pair of jeans that don't fit anymore but you force them on anyway. Then he finally put her down.
He gestured to the road. "Grab your things lets go see your 'dorm', your slowing me down."
She rubbed her eye and picked up a box of the essentials. "Pfft, 'slowing you down' mister 20 mile an hour."
"Don't you start with me."
"Hey. Will you miss me?" She teased.
He shot his head back laughing, "Ha! Like an unwanted virus that eats away at my chassis."
"Come on you'd miss me, say it. Say you'd miss me. Do it."
"No."
"What if I said I'd miss you?"
"I'd say, good for you."
"Come on don't lead me on, I'm very emotional right now."
"I'll see how I feel after the tour, would that suffice the high levels of instinctive chemical neediness you contain in your genetic make up?"
"Millions of years in the making bud. Look at this fine specimen right here." She gloated.
"Don't make me respond to that." He scoffed.
"After that, I set my stuff up we said our goodbyes and I started college; Ratchet contacted me every day, sometimes two or three times." She chuckled. "He was very thorough with questions about my day."
"But then?"
She stood up, rubbing her nose, "After a few months, contact suddenly stopped. At first I thought, maybe there was a connection problem, those things happen right?" she started messing with the dirt on the ground with her feet. "Then a little while after that I got worried, tried to make contact with you. With someone. I didn't care if Cybertron put me on hold I just needed to know that everything was fine." She rubbed her tired face. "As time went by my frantic worry turned to sorrow. I thought maybe something had happened, that everyone was dead somehow and I couldn't do a thing about it. So one day, instead of thinking what might be, I did something about it, I pushed through college, changed my major...regrettably and set myself a goal." She gestured to herself. "That's how I got my job."
Bee took this in, "But Ellen. That was your life you were deciding."
"I know what I did Bee." said solemnly.
"You didn't find any trace of us." Bee added.
"That's not entirely true. Alien activity was still getting closely monitored, one day they were able to send a probe that could reach Cybertron from the technology you guys shared with us." She sighed. "What it reported back was that Cybertron was thriving, civilians appeared peaceful and content. I didn't know what to think after that."
"As the months turned to years, I found myself coming to the conclusion that I'd had been abandoned, from my loneliness, my insecurities my total lack of faith in myself. Everything Dad, Ratchet, all of you had helped me deal with had come back worse than ever."
"I don't think you believe that."
"Maybe a few things remained intact."
"You were confident enough to be ambitious, resourceful. You don't see what I do." he encouraged. "Since seeing me and the others, it's changed your feelings though right?"
"It's definitely-" she shook her head frustrated, "If you don't know what happened to Ratchet...what if he's-"
"No, that wouldn't happen. The war is over; there would be a very small chance something like that happened to him in this new age for us." Bee started to ponder ideas.
"Then what? He's missing?"
"Something's not right that's for sure."
"Didn't you say that you had a different council on Cybertron?"
"Yeah that's right...then maybe. Like me he was only ever able to get a different kind of role on Cybertron."
"Wait, you didn't have options?" Ellen questioned.
Bee grimaced, "They put me in law as a way of monitoring me closely, to keep order as a way of control. Well their reasoning is completely different but we knew otherwise."
"Tell me your side Bee, what's going on? Maybe I can make better sense of this."
"Its only fair." He said. "We were black listed as well as any other who was with Optimus, despite our actions defeating Megatron, reviving Cybertron; we were seen as the blame. That's why I mentioned before we didn't mention our human allies by name, just in case of bounty hunters. It's probably the reason why you couldn't contact us. They stopped all space bridge travel, ceased long distant comm. Link connections and any contact between different worlds was deemed punishable by life imprisonment."
She looked horrified, "What?" she breathed. "But that's what they did in the golden age of Cybertron, that's how you lost Spacebridge technology in the first place. The caste system? The inequality? The same things happening again?" she grew angry, "Everything you guys fought for- what my Dad fought for! just for it to start all over again?!"
"It's frustrating to say the least." He said tiredly. "But don't think for a moment that we've just sat back and done nothing, it's just complicated. Political influence is in favor of the council."
She cursed under her breath as she changed back to the main focus. "So, you think the same might have happened to Ratch?"
"It's highly likely."
"And I doubted you guys..."
"Hey. It's okay. You didn't know, what else could you do? I'm just relieved we were able to talk about it."
"Same. Everything is making allot of sense now. I hope he's okay."
"Of course he is. Thanks for telling me El, I hope I wasn't too pushy."
"Its better to address it now. Besides you helped me to clear my paranoid head, the tablets I'm on have side effects to my way of thinking too, that's a factor to consider. Ratchets out there, I should never have doubted him." She smiled brightly. "I have something to go on now."
"You look happy." He noted returning a smile.
"Relieved." She sighed, then Bee looked at her as it looked like she started whimpering then he got up slightly spooked as she started roaring with laughter all of a sudden, getting to her feet and running fast on the spot. "O-h He-ell yes! He's alright Bee! My stupid traumatized head is wrong!"
He look dumbfounded as he shoved her, "You scared me! I thought something was wrong!"
"Ha-Ha! Sorry Bee, I'm just overwhelmed, I just burst you know?"
He grinned, "Get back to your hotel anyway, it's getting late." He teased.
"Oh shut up." She cocked her leg over her bike. "So see you, what...tomorrow?"
"That soon?" He said surprised.
"Is that okay?"
"W-Well yeah! Of course! I actually had some 'cultural' lessons to show my team, I'd actually love it if you were there with me."
"Cultural huh?" she thought hard then like a light bulb she snapped her fingers, "I'll be there." Before driving off she quickly glanced at her phone for the time, glossing over the fact that she had many missed calls and unanswered messages.
A/N Hmmm...Mmm...well, things seem to be going okay. getting closer now...and Ellen is that person that has her phone on silent or off, typical :P