Goddammit.

He swore angrily at himself. Somehow, both he and Sue ended up sliding off the couch onto the floor in front of it. His arm wasn't hurting as much now with the book closer between them. His heartbeat had gone back to normal too. Both visible problems; he'd gotten comfortable with all of it. He wasn't the only one who had either, he looked down towards Sue, her head resting sleepily against his shoulders as she read the book, she didn't notice him. Reading her tired expression, he supposed it was coming up to that time during the night. He checked his phone with his other hand; quarter to midnight. He'd need to prepare her bed at some stage, she'd be staying the night. Naturally that would have to happen in the living room, there wasn't another room that wasn't his fathers or his he was sure she'd be comfortable sleeping in. Looking back towards Sue, he felt a little sad. Clearly, getting up was the cruellest thing he could do that evening.

He closed the book and tried to locate the strength to stand. It was only when he started to move, Sue slowly started to wake herself, and upon realising she had fallen asleep next to him shot up faster than he could.

Paulo yawned, 'I'll have to—'

'Yes?!' Sue jumped.

Starting again, 'I'll have to start finding the blankets for your bed. I'd offer my room, but I'd presume you'd want to sleep down here.'

Sue nodded, 'Yeah, that's. . . that's only appropriate.' She replied.

He started to feel the cold. He'd only realised once he'd gotten up. No wonder Sue had cozied up to him. The storm hadn't died down at all, even this late.

It was freezing.

Suddenly Sue had changed her mind. 'Um.'

'What is it?' Paulo said turning back.

'Could. . .could you. . .' She shook her head. 'Actually, nevermind.'

Paulo folded his arms, 'Hey, I said if you needed anything I was able to get it.' He replied.

'Could. . .Is it possible you could. . .sleep, you know, nearby?' She asked.

'What?! Why?'

'I—I'm. . . .' Sue stuttered, covering her face with her hand, unable to find the words, or at least knowing what she wanted to say, but couldn't.

Paulo's bought his hand to his chin, then it hit him. He snapped his fingers. 'The storm, right?' He asked. It explained why she followed him up the ladder even with her bad arm.

Sue nodded, feeling a little foolish.

He didn't put too much thought into it. 'I suppose I can sleep down here as well, 'gonna have to strip my bed so we have enough sheets.' He replied. He turned towards the stairs. 'You're coming with, right?' He asked, picking up a candle.

Sue jumped. 'Ah. . . Yes! And. . .thank-you.'

It was supposed to be Sue's bed, but all the pillows from the couch and all the sheets and blankets he could find in the house, but it wasn't enough for two separate beds. He was certain if Sue's patience would've reached its limit at some point that night, this should've been it. She would've buckled and let him go back to his own bed. There weren't enough sheets for both to be warm that night. He offered her more of his blankets, but Sue ended up suggesting combining them into the one. It was the only reasonable outcome, she determined; killing two birds with one stone. She said as much.

He wondered for a minute if this was a deliberate attempt to kill him in some fashionable way, he thought. He laid on his stomach and blushed to himself as Sue pushed into him from the side so she could have a better read of the book as well as he held it out between them.

'My stomach is getting really sore holding the book out like this.' Paulo ended up admitting.

'Sorry, it's not comfortable like this for such a long time, is it?'

He thought about it, he passed the book towards her, 'Actually; here, you can read the last few pages. I might just turn in and get some sleep, it's just been too long of a day.' He rolled over so he was looking out from his side of the makeshift bed. Sue mulled over the book before deciding herself that tonight was enough for herself included.

She put the book up on the coffee table. 'It has definitely been one hell of a day.' She said smiling to herself. 'Well, Goodnight.'

Paulo couldn't see a single thing in front of him for that moment once Sue blew out the remaining candle, much the same as earlier when the power went out abruptly during the game. It was well and truly black, and he was cold. While the house had insulation, without power nothing was providing even the smallest amount of heat that night. The storm still raged on outside and Paulo could feel the chill seeping in from the outside even under the blankets. His clothes and thick fur providing what was the last line of defence against a cold demise.

It was depressing like this. For a moment, he lost himself completely in the darkness, it made him feel alone. Alone and cold.

It didn't last long, he felt a pressure push against his back and immediately those thoughts disappeared. Sue had cozied beside him, her back against his. There really wasn't all too much room between them. Whether it was from Sue or his body flushing, he started to feel a lot warmer now.

He started to harbour a secret, one he wouldn't tell anyone else. He couldn't put past nor tell how great the feeling was to him right now. It had been ages since he felt. . .well, close to someone else. What's more, they did everything together today, they studied, cooked, ate, played the same games, read the same book together. Hell, they even explored dark areas of Paulo's house together, something even he and the ever-curious David never did, who'd have thought? He was sure if he ever told him, David would be so jealous.

The day ended with just the two of them sharing the same bed.

It was different.

It felt. . .nicer like this. He couldn't explain it.

'Sorry.' He ended up saying. Feeling that he should at least apologise about how cold the house was. He felt Sue's elbow nudge him in the back.

'You better not be apologising for something out of your control.' She warned.

'No, but I thought it would be thoughtful to.'

Sue sighed, this was a depressing conversation. 'Hey. . .' she said suddenly.

'What?'

'Have you thought about what you're going to do after school?' She asked, some genuine curiousness in her voice.

He didn't immediately return a response, it wasn't something he gave too much thought about, at all. 'If I pass school.' He muttered back.

She gave him another nudge with her elbow. 'Hey, you'll pass. You should start thinking about what you want to do once you graduate.'

'How can you be so sure I'm really going to graduate?'

'Because I'm the one helping you out.' She argued back. 'Besides. . .not to let it go to your head, but you're already doing well from what the teacher's told me. So, be confident in that.'

He was silent as a good feeling flowed around him those words alone. It ended up lowering his defences, just for a moment. 'I have no idea where I belong.' He ended up saying.

'Huh?'

'I mean; no idea where I want to go.' He corrected.

There wasn't much Sue thought she could do with that, 'Well. . .you should think about where your skills might matter.' She suggested

He decided to give it some real thought after all this time. He never felt he carried any life goals or aspirations, other than graduating. He had gone to his father's work once. Construction was something he could do, even if it didn't pay that much. But surely, there had to be something else in life for him.

'What about you?' He asked inquisitively.

'M—Me?!' She exclaimed. 'Well. . .' She chewed on her thumbnail again.

'Well . . . ?' Paulo parroted.

'. . .I . . .'

'"I"'? he parroted her, truth be told, the anticipation was killing him. He imagined Sue having her whole life planned out before her. He couldn't begin to imagine what sort of ideas he could get from her.

'. . .Can you keep a secret?' Sue asked.

'You're asking me to keep a secret?' Paulo queried with a laugh. It sounded more like a statement rather than a question.

A dejected sigh. 'Good point; never mind.' Sue said.

'Hey! I'm kidding. Sorry, tell me.'

In the back of her mind Sue weighed the odds of telling him, she took the risk. 'I—I. . .haven't thought of one.'

He was quiet for a second. 'Seriously? That's worth keeping secret?'

'You wouldn't understand!'

'What, it hurting your image?' Paulo asked. Sue replied with an elbow, Paulo wasn't expecting in that time. 'Ow! Hey, what was that for?! Look, nobody is going to judge you for that, you know.'

'Easy for you to say!'

'Oh come on who goes around asking this on a daily basis? I mean at worst, what? Their opinion that you've got your shit sorted is in every box but that one? Who cares?'

'I care!' She said, sounding a little distressed and unhappy with herself. 'I can't think of what I really want to do once we're out of here.'

'All-right! Geez, calm down.' He tried giving it some thought. 'You've thought about directing movies, right?' He suggested, trying to sound helpful. He couldn't see exactly what her reaction was like, but he was pretty sure she moped and rolled her eyes at the suggestion. He did catch the 'Psh' from her side, as if to say; 'as if.'

'Now what was that supposed to mean?' He asked.

'I don't think I have the skill to get into movie directing.'

'But you made a play!'

'It wasn't that good.'

'What're you even talking about? It was something!'

'No.' She sighed. 'I've put all of that behind me. You know I don't blame you when you were going around saying it was boring.'

'Hey, I did not say that.'

'Don't lie.'

'I'm not.' He growled back.

'You are!'

He twisted himself around and sat up. 'I'm not lying. I only said it once and I said it sucked, not that it was boring.' He felt what was like lightening through his spine as if Sue had shot him scornful expression despite not being able to see it in the dark night. He thought to try harder. 'But I mean. . . it might have been better. . . if you cast something who wasn't Michael into the play.' He tried to joke. The feeling inside him made him feel like scum.

Sue snorted. 'Well, he was pretty bad.'

'Now if you had someone like me—' He tried to argue but was caught off-guard as Sue twisted around and replied with one of the pillows into his face in almost the same second.

'It could have been you if you weren't too busy being an idiot!' she screamed back at him.

The impact knocked him over with such a great force. He found himself on the floor again. It knocked some sense into him, and he remembered, 'Oh. . . Right! Detention. . .' He felt embarrassed; embarrassed and awful. This was already not going to his plan. He didn't expect he'd fish so desperately for things to cheer Sue up with. He wouldn't get any further chances as the pillow came down onto his head again. He didn't expect it, much like the first one. 'Ow! Hey!' He yelled. But then another crashed down on him. And then another. He tried getting up to do something about it but felt something pushing him back down; a knee pressed into his chest and the pillow crashed into him a few more times. The only thing he could do was bring his arms up to protect the widest grin he could muster, cackling underneath the blows.

He found a moment of respite once Sue stopped to catch her breath. Paulo finally lowered his arms.

'Murderous rage sated, right?' He asked. He didn't even need a light to tell the Pillow was readied again. He flinched and bought his arms back up. 'Right?!' Paulo begged again. The pillow lightly bounced off his arms and fell between them without any real force, and Sue removed her knee from his chest.

'For the moment.' She said exhausted, she returned to her side of the bed and hugged the pillow to herself.

There was some amazement in him, he'd seen through the façade; 'You actually do care.' He'd been right all this time. She had gotten better at hiding it; until now, that was.

'You're an absolute shit! Of course I care. I always did! And it always hurt inside! I put everything I had into it!' She sobbed. 'Forget it, what does it matter anyway! Not that a different cast would've saved it. The whole thing was a mistake to begin with.'

'Sue, I. . .Come on, it wasn't that bad, okay? I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said.'

'Stop lying to me! It's all you ever said about it!'

'I—I just said I didn't mean it! I just. . . we were fighting those times and. . .I didn't actually hate it, I just. . .you know. . .'

'Just what?'

'I. . . I. . .I was fucking jealous, okay?!'

'Because of Mike?'

'W—What, no! No, I mean envious. . .'

'Of what?!'

'Of you!'

The storm outside seemed to die down at the same time. The silence would've been deafening if Paulo wasn't sobbing to himself as well. Sue was quiet under the admission. 'Why?' She asked.

Paulo rubbed at his eye. 'Come on, Sue. Really? How many of us could bring so many people together and do something just as cool?'

'You thought it was. . .cool?' Sue asked curiously.

'Yeah? How couldn't I? If it makes you feel better I constantly hated myself for weeks after the play for not being a part of it myself.' He wasn't sure why he was telling her this.

'N—No it doesn't, at all! I—I thought you—. . . but you said—'

'That I hated it?! I only said that because we fought. I—I didn't mean to keep saying it. David was the one telling everyone it was boring back at school.' He sniffed. 'I can't. . .I can't. . .' He dove back into the bed and rolled to his side, clutching at the blankets, not finding the ability to finish. 'I'm sorry.' He whimpered.

'I should be the one who's sorry.'

Paulo sniffled, 'Why you?' He asked.

'I was really convinced you of all people hated it! Please don't ask why, but whenever people told me they didn't like it, it didn't bother me as much. But when. . . whenever you said it. It really hurt. I don't know why.'

'Why me?' Paulo asked.

'I—I don't know!'

'I'm sorry. I—I never really meant to join the bandwagon. I never agreed with it, but I found myself rolling with it anyway. I really loved the idea deep down. Fuck 'em! I didn't see anything wrong with it!'

'Paulo, I—'

'I mean, you should be happy.' Paulo interrupted. 'You made something so awesome. You should . . . you know, keep trying to do that, or write . . . be an author? Or something? I feel you're pretty good at it. You know what you're doing and what it takes to get there. . . I've been so envious of you for that.'

'Paulo—'

'You shouldn't care what other people think. Who's to say you're not going to do a complete one-eighty by the time you're twenty-five when you realise the life-long goal isn't what you wanted? I've never liked being told to think of a single thing I want to be, I thought it was always stupid! But I can't even think of one thing I'm good at! You've got something, at least; friends, an ambition. I've got nothing. I don't deserve the ones I have. I'll probably just keep flipping burgers well into my forties.'

Sue backed off and held the pillow against herself, tears rolled off her face in much the same way as before, but a small smile found its way across her face. Despite not meaning to open a can of worms, she had been waiting for this since forever; words of some value to her. Her heart told her as much despite. . .well; the lecture coming from the most unlikeliest of people she'd imagine. It was a strange feeling, she had to admit, her being the receiver. 'No. No, you won't. I'm sure some day you'll get an idea of what you want to do. You're working. That's not being behind especially with how much it costs to get into college nowadays. Besides, you're a good cook, you could always be a chef.'

'. . . I guess.' Paulo muttered into the blanket.

'I mean it! You know how to cook! I—I don't think I could do better myself, at all! Whether you can't bring yourself to like it, I thought you should know! A—And you've got friends! You've got Amaya, you've got David and . . .and—' She stopped. She felt sorry for herself. She lifted the blanket on her side of the bed and rolled under it again in much the same way Paulo did. She just couldn't finish it. 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin everything tonight.'

'It's not you.'

'It is, isn't it? It's bothering you inside. I can tell whenever you say nothing's wrong it's been anything but.'

'It is this time.'

'. . .I've ruined today for you, haven't I?'

'No.' He wasn't trying to agitate her, he just wanted it to be over.

'Why are you still moping into the blanket? You said sorry. I forgive you, okay?! Just. . . let's just. . .' Sue got out of the bed and sat on her side. 'Can we please talk about it, please? You're doing it again, aren't you? Please don't lie to me. I haven't. . .I haven't been friend to you at all, have I?' She poked his back with a finger to try and get his attention.

Paulo flinched from it, but he was quiet for a small while as he thought to himself. 'You have been a good friend, I was just thinking that maybe you were right from before.'

'Right about what?' If anything, she'd felt as if she'd been wrong about everything.

'You were right about earlier, we're always at each other's throats, and it's me. You were right, it shouldn't, you know, be like this . . .for both our sake.' He said on the edge of a croak.

That hit her the worst, it hurt all the same; all of it her words from before thrown right back into her face. 'N—No! No, I was wrong about earlier. This is what you wanted! The problem's with me; I can do better! I just need to—. . .I need to—'

Paulo sat up, finding his phone and using the remaining battery to illuminate the room on the single digit left in the battery. He turned to Sue, tearful, distraught, just as she was. 'You don't need to do anything! You were right! I was complicating everything by being selfish. You don't need to keep acting patiently like this just for my stupid desire. It's. . .It's my fault!'

She hated it all. Her fists balled tightly on her lap. She'd had enough. 'Just stop it already! I can't take this anymore!' She spluttered. 'If there's anything that needs to happen; it's you, forgiving me! This, Its. . . it's my desire as well! I really wanted to become friends with you since forever! I never meant to be so awful to you before. I just couldn't see a way that I could. . .God! I—I just wanted you to like me. Even when everything appeared to be going to plan I just couldn't even bring up the courage to be like the friend I really wanted to be!' Her hands went to her eyes, and she cried 'I—I wanted to change, I wanted to try! I wanted to change so bad, but I'm such a fucking coward.' Her head fell into her hands, and she sobbed into them.

'What are you saying?!'

'Can't it obvious for a change?' Sue begged herself. She looked back towards Paulo. 'I'm. . . I'm in love with you!'