'Y—You're joking, right?' Paulo asked, he wiped at his eyes before balling his fists and stood from the bed feeling anger as if the words she said just now had no meaning behind them. 'That's not something you can joke about just to make to make me feel better!' He said angrily. If she was just messing with him, he'd just. . . he'd just—

'I'm not!' Sue choked back, she tried to wipe away the tears herself, but they leaked out as quick as they left. 'I've always liked you. I wanted to let you know for so long but I just. . .I couldn't find the means for the longest time!'

Paulo felt his knees give way, he collapsed onto the bed. He just didn't understand. 'Why tell me this now?'

'Because I don't want this to end! Not like this! I don't want the stupid mistake I made when I thought it was necessary cost me everything I really wanted from day one!' Sue sobbed. 'I didn't mean to make you feel like I was bullying you when I was trying to get you to accept a side of you, or to push you so far away when we started studying together, I just. . .I just didn't want to complicate things when they were looking so good for you! I really want you to succeed at something, and I figured at best, the only thing I really wanted at the end was that you'd acknowledge me, but—'

'Acknowledge you?' Paulo asked, bewildered. 'Jesus, as if I couldn't? I mean. . .Sue you've. . . you know you've— You've kicked me a few times. . .that's for sure.' His hand came to his head, painful memories. 'God knows I've needed that in a sorry way, but why couldn't you have told me all this back weeks ago? I really thought back then when we hugged on the street I—.'

'I—I wanted to! Believe me, I did! I wanted to tell you then! But I. . .I got scared that if I got too close to you, I'd be a distraction! And then. . . and then, I'd. . .I'd do something or say something that'd ruin it. I—I thought instead if I at least got you closer to fulfilling your goal of graduating then maybe. . . maybe after. God, please understand it's not easy for me to admit this all at once!' She said in a panic, before it all became too much, her head went into her hands and she started to sob.

'C'mon Sue, don't cry again. I—I think I understand where you're coming from.'

'No, you don't. You don't understand!'

'I do!' He yelled back, before looking somewhere between Sue and the floor. 'I mean, it's. . .it's not like I ever made anything easy for you. . . or anyone else for that matter.' His hand came up to his head. He thought about it. 'God, I don't blame you for holding back; I would've done the same thing if I was you. I was a handful at the worst of times. I've given you more than enough reason to believe that. He looked back to find Sue in some surprise. 'What? You make it seem as if I hadn't ever taken one second looking back wondering if I could've done things differently. I do! I mean, sure; it took me some time learning how on my own. I left it up to other people to sort out my mess for the longest time; like you had with Jasmine. I wanted it to stop for the longest time before my luck finally ran out. . .and, well. . .'

His voice trailed off as he looked up to the ceiling. It felt nostalgic, for lack of a better word, of course, he'd practiced this. 'I guess. . . when you feel like you've hit rock bottom, I suppose you start looking up to find out how you got there.'

'I didn't mean. . .' Sue sniffled. 'I guess that makes two of us. I know the feeling too.'

Paulo shook his head, 'Except I was the one who made you feel that way! I want to do better, I really do! I don't understand what makes me to do what I do sometimes, but I want to change, but I keep—' His voice trailed off. 'I don't know why you bothered with me sometimes.'

'I. . .I've been the same!' Sue spoke up to him, she bought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, 'I—It's not just you; I've been so horribly mean to you since the start of the year! You didn't deserve much of my shitty attitude even at the best of times. Like. . .like when we went to the movies; I—I didn't mean to be like that, really! I—I. . .I just. . .' She wiped a tear from her eye using a knee. Her shoulders shook. It hurt her inside when she thought about why. She felt he needed to know; 'Some time ago, a part of me wished the worst would happen to you — for all the times you were just a rude prick to me out of nowhere. B—But then it happened, and I felt like I had just as much to blame for it; I did so much to try and make huge changes around the school, but I didn't even try to do as much in return to my own circle; my own friends!' Tears rolled out as she thought back to those troubling times. She still felt like she could have done something back then. Maybe she could've, maybe she could've solved most of the problems with the others, but they'd never know. 'I always felt guilty about not trying something, but I was too late. I—I just wanted to help everyone. And I wanted to help you most of all, despite everything before!' She sobbed, 'Because. . .because. . .I really liked you deep down inside.'

Paulo sniffled, 'But. . .but I deserved it, all of it! I can't begin to imagine—'

Sue's head came up from her knees, 'No you didn't! Nobody deserves that, Paulo! No matter how much they think they did!' She cried back.

'I deserved all of it!' He yelled back, tears in his eyes. 'I was terrible to everyone for the longest; I was terrible to Mike, Daisy. . . and you. I took everything for granted for the longest time! I—I tried to fix it so I. . . I couldn't. . .' The tears leaked out. His hands wouldn't be able to stop them, neither could they; had they been able to somehow get past Sue who dove into him first with such a speed, wrapped her arms around his neck and held him against her.

'You didn't!' Sue sobbed. She hated seeing people cry. This was the worst. 'Please stop. . .please? I forgive you for everything if it helps! Just. . . just stop crying!'

'Sue, get off! You don't understand. . . Get. . .Get. . .god dammit, why do you have to be like this? I was in the wrong! I never gave you a real chance! I treated you like shit for the longest time! But . . .I . . . Why do you have to. . .why?!' He asked as he sobbed into her arm. 'Why do you have to. . .I'm sorry. . . I'm so, so sorry.'

His hands came up and wrapped around Sue's back, he held her close.

Paulo emerged from the kitchen with a damp cloth and handed it to Sue after having used it himself in the other room to clean up his own face. He still looked like a mess, reflecting much about how he felt inside; still feeling shameful about the whole ordeal. As he passed the damp cloth Sue thanked him and bought it against her own face and wiped away at the mess her tears had left.

He wanted to know. Somewhere deep inside him where the pain was greatest, he just wanted to know; 'How long have you felt like this?' He asked as he sat down beside her.

'About my feelings?'

He nodded, feeling sorrowful.

Sue didn't have to think too hard, she smiled, 'I'd say as far back as long I've ever known you.'

'I—I didn't know!' He said astonished.

'It's okay! I mean, I didn't make a real effort to make it obvious. Not when I was just a kid to middle school. I figured I did quite well hiding it from everyone. I suppose that lasted as long as it did until. . . well, until people started connecting the dots.'

'What do you mean?'

'I think everyone figured it out over the years.'

'E—Everyone?'

Sue sat back, ''Suppose it was easier to work out over the phone than at school when it looked like I wasn't as interested in the things you got up to. I'd speak with someone every night over the phone and. . .well, amongst talking about things we were looking forward to, or school. . .they lead inevitably to about you as well. How couldn't we?' She said, smiling, 'I guess I sounded too invested and interested in it to be anything more than a curiosity.'

Paulo gave a small light-hearted laugh at it, almost in disbelief.

'Please don't get mad.' Sue begged.

'I'm not. I mean, I—I'm surprised! I just. . .I can't believe I never really noticed. All this time?' He asked.

'Well. . . you were preoccupied at times.' Sue pointed out. 'Work, David. . . Girlfriends.

His shoulders dropped once he came to think about it, there were times where things weren't going all too well yet they seemed to solve themselves. It was all too convenient when things went awry. 'And I'm pretty certain those times over the phone were working out how to make it so I didn't get into too much trouble?' He queried.

Sue shook her head, 'Nobody wanted to see you hurt, Paulo. You were just. . . so impressionable with the wrong crowd at times.' She hugged her knees tightly into herself. 'Nobody wanted to see you make some huge mistake. . .me included, deep down. We all really cared about you. But some help I was. . .'

He rubbed his head, 'Nevermind that, but what about you though? I mean, when did you start caring as much precisely? I know my memory sucks but I can't remember you ever trying to speak with me for the longest time!'

She sat up, 'I was shy, Paulo! I've. . . I'd never been good at making friends until the very end of middle school! I only just worked up the right about of courage to talk to Amaya on my first day and we'd been inseparable. But I always wanted more friends, I always wanted to be part of the group with Daisy, Mike, and Lucy, but I just acted like it wasn't a big deal and then, I just became a regular face in the group before I knew it.'

'But I thought you, like every other girl was into Mike!'

Sue laughed lightly, 'Well, like I said before; it's easy to make everyone believe as much. But, I guess I liked him then as much for a small while too; I wanted to fit in, so I just followed the herd. So did Amaya and that made it all the easier. The real challenge was whether it was worth the trouble getting involved in a love triangle with Lucy.' She gave another small chuckle at the memory, and smiled. 'I guess that happened if you think about it.'

Paulo thought to laugh at it. He couldn't forget how it was between him, Lucy and Mike. 'I really thought Lucy and Mike were going to end up together for the longest time. I was jealous, I just thought Mike was playing coy the whole time with her until . . .Sandy, I guess.'

'If Lucy didn't appear to have a chance with him, what chance did the shy girl have?' Sue continued, she twirled her hair in her finger. 'He wasn't the only one who felt off limits.'

He knew, 'Me as well, huh?'

'You were always after Lucy, so I just. . .hung back from the sidelines.' Sue wiped away at the last tear. 'I think the feelings started getting stronger that one time we all ended up on the wrong end of town?' She said, unsure. 'Maybe a little earlier? I don't know.'

He remembered that beatdown quite vividly. He shook. 'That was. . . not precisely our finest moment for either of us.' he said. 'But. . .really? Back when that happened? I don't remember doing anything that was worth attention.'

'I wouldn't say that.' Sue smiled.

'Please don't tell me it was when I got my ass kicked?' He begged.

She frowned. 'What?! No! No, that. . .that happened; but it happened to both of us. Paulo, you tried to stand up for me and the others, especially when I was getting knocked around! You tried to help me, and I started to feel. . .something inside. I—I didn't give it too much thought until a few days later when we saw each other again. And I. . . wanted to be nearby.' She said, smiling to himself.

Paulo sunk into himself. 'I must've hurt you a lot in-between then and now.'

Sue gave a light laugh, 'Yeah, well, you had your moments. There was a point in time I thought I had gotten over you a couple of weeks after. Then I became better friends with Lucy, and. . . the feeling came rushing back the more she talked about you and it started to feel like back then again.'

'I'm still surprised Lucy spoke about me that much.' Paulo gloomed.

'Well, everyone did.' She sighed; 'They all had this. . .bizarre-misguided idea that under this act of his; this orange-jock who never missed a beat with any bimbo in the school hallways, had this other side who strangely knew the right things to do or say around them that just made them feel out of this world.'

Paulo rose a little, 'Everyone said this?' he asked.

'Everyone.' Sue replied. 'Even Lucy.'

He glowed from it, a warm feeling, is this how his friends had thought of him? Even Lucy? Then he'd realised, it hit him like a bee sting. 'You weren't really kidding from earlier when you suggested I make up with Jasmine! Y—You knew whether there was going to be a real problem!'

The cat was out of the bag. 'She doesn't hate you! But she did mature faster than you at the time. You only needed space between you. I didn't want to be blunt with telling you this; but it was you who put it in your head that you couldn't do anything about it. Besides, I would've told you to do the same thing anyway so you could put it past you.'

Paulo fell back, 'I didn't even try to thank you that one time back at Daisy's place just after we'd broken up. That would've been the second time you've saved my ass. . .'

'Gratitude acknowledged.' Sue smiled, but then she frowned, and she began to look away.

'What's the matter?' Paulo asked, worryingly.

'Just. . . with everyone telling me a different story, it all became too hard to believe. Everything I heard from them about you never sounded anything remotely to the Paulo I came to know.' Sue looked up to him. 'I could help but feel a little jealous of everyone — I started wondering what's wrong with me?'

'It wasn't like that!'

'Oh come on, it was pretty hard not to learn you had some dumb game to make out with at least most of the girls when we were freshmen. . . though, Lucy wouldn't let you, you didn't with Daisy.' Sue looked tearful again, 'And then there was me.'

His eyes were wide. She couldn't have known! 'That. . . okay, that happened. I won't try to say it didn't; but that was only between me and. . . David. David! Are you telling me he even blabbed about that?!'

Sue gave a mischievous smile. 'He was good at filling in the blanks.'

'I—It's not what you think!' Paulo panicked.

'I know! You don't have to tell me, David explained it all too!'

'Oh my god! This can't be real! How much DO you know?' Then he realised an ungodly thought. 'Oh god, come to think of it, your house, when you got up me over the game, the roleplay. . .you!' It all made sense at that moment, Sue knew enough without ever having been by him. 'But I still don't understand. If you know so much about me why didn't you try to say something back then?'

Sue sighed frustratingly, more at herself than at Paulo, 'I really, really wanted to! But I only wanted to do it in a way that. . . didn't make me look desperate! Even then that time I ran out from the library I was still trying to find out why you never once tried to interact with me back then! I started to resent you by the time we were just starting the second year, I was ready to move on for real at that time. Then. . .Then Tess got me involved once she put it all together.'

'But you could've said no to that; how did she even manage to rope you in?!'

Sue looked out to the side, she pouted a little. 'You think I could've?! She ended up figuring it out just the moment before she left! I must've dropped a few hints when I asked about it. Or maybe she was pretty good at looking underneath people.' She explained.

He sighed, that sounded like Tess, 'She was really good for that.'

'Yeah. . .well, she told me just before she left if she had a single regret it was that she didn't want to make it feel as if she lead you on all this time. She wanted to watch over you, see you grow.'

'Figures.'

'She really cared about you, Paulo! She just didn't want to see you hurt.'

'I know, I know. . . I guess the most infuriating part is that even now she's still trying to keep an eye on me from this far away.' He grumbled.

'That. . .isn't it.' She admitted.

'It. . .It isn't?'

'I—I told Tess I'd do my best back here while she was gone. She didn't force me at all. I—I just thought that was the only thing keeping her here from getting on with her life. I figured that's what she really wanted, so when I told her, she hugged me as hard as she could.' She smiled. 'I couldn't do too much, I'd tried to do what I could, just, in the smaller places where I could make a difference.'

A part of Paulo thought to ask about it more in detail, but inside he started to feel like he knew already; as before, there were times where things just felt all too convenient. He wouldn't lie to himself, on the really shittiest days, he felt like someone was watching closely after him.

A guardian angel.

It appeared to be Sue all along.

It was his turn he felt inside. Sue had told him everything she felt she needed to save what tattered friendship remained. He thought about telling her why after all these years, it was never easy to admit when you were wrong about someone, but he found a way. 'There wasn't. . .anything wrong with you, ever! I—I just felt you were too. . .smart for someone like me.' He said solemnly. 'I—I guess that's how I felt about Daisy for the longest time too I guess. She was one of the closest friends I had at the time, but I. . . I figured she could've just done better.'

A warm glow filled Sue. 'How is Daisy?' She asked curious. 'I didn't get her new number and she doesn't reply as often through email. She must be busy in the neighbouring city?'

Daisy had ended up moving to the city over near the start of the school year. Still enrolled at Roseville High; but doing all her work remotely. A student with such a distinction in her study and glowing future could only get so far in the small town. At some stage the question had been asked whether Paulo wanted to go with her; she'd invited him. But Paulo couldn't find the means to, he said no, he just couldn't. It was difficult saying goodbye, but he wouldn't keep her back for his sake.

The truth had hit him as hard as it had back when he thought about it. There was never going to be a time when she could help him in his study. He was foolish as he was vain.

'She's doing well of course, for the most part. She keeps in contact. I get an email maybe once every week when she gets the time, but otherwise I think she's working towards where she wants to be. That's all I need.' He said, smiling.

'You know, I'd really thought—'

'We had tried for a small period. . .didn't work.'

Sue stared back, 'I—I wasn't aware.' Sue said. 'I—I don't mean to—'

'It's fine, we dated for a small period at the end of junior during the holidays, but. . .we broke it off when it felt like nothing special.' He sighed. 'Strange thing that; despite not having known what a brother and sister feels like, it shouldn't have feel like that; but it did.'

'You know I. . .I really thought you two might've been something. You both got along quite well!' Sue said, feeling sad for him.

Paulo shrugged, he smiled. 'I guess we decided to end it a week after, probably for the better once I heard she was moving to the town over. I suppose I couldn't help but feel that she was too smart for someone like me weighing her down.' He shook his head to himself, 'I thought about you much the same way years ago, I suppose after that I became pretty transfixed on Lucy.'

Sue's hand went to her head, the events from earlier stuck in her head, 'I wouldn't call myself smart. I only tried to act that way in front of you.'

He wanted to be supportive, 'Come on, you are smart. Just because we struggled in the study earlier doesn't mean you're less as such. You're a different sort of smart, just as good!'

Another goodness flowed about her, much like just a little earlier when he finally told her his feelings on the play. She'd been waiting for such words from someone for such a long time herself, years even. Acknowledgement; real acknowledgement. She was going to cry again, this time in joy. She rubbed the side of her cheek, it glowed, she glowed along with it as she concentrated on the feeling. 'Thank you. . .'

But it was temporary, she frowned when she remembered, and the feeling disappeared, a sour feeling inside her took hold of her. It made her feel awful, rotten and simply undeserving.

A part of her felt it couldn't be stay like this. If Daisy's relationship with Paulo couldn't survive a week, what chance did she have, even after all of this?

'I guess. . .this is about the time you tell me it won't work out, huh?' Sue asked him.

Paulo turned his head, wide eyed 'I—I haven't thought about that! Why would you think I'd—'

'Because I stalked you. It doesn't bother you?' She asked.

It did, deep down. Try his best, he couldn't deny it. All his friends had been behind his back making sure he wasn't making a complete mess of things. Patronizing to say the least. Deep down it felt insulting. Couldn't he be left to deal with the consequences of his own actions?

He caught himself in a lie; of course, he'd been.

None of his friends could force him to study. Now he was in this predicament he'd set up. So, there was that. No, guess he couldn't ever blame them for not having some concern.

He'd fucked up so much. He didn't know if he would've been any wiser if he'd come out without their help.

When it came to Sue's question, he could only answer honestly. 'Yes. . .' He said. a second later; 'No. . . I—I mean. . .I don't. . . I don't know! How am I supposed to feel?!' He said turning to her, tears formed in his eyes. 'I mean. . .you guys were only trying to help, right?'

She nodded, teary eyed, still feeling at odds with herself.

'Goddammit!' He said angrily, at himself more than anything. 'I wish I wasn't such a fuck up.' He felt Sue's hand come against his arm, but he didn't stop. 'I wish I hadn't run into those guys, I wish I hadn't been such an asshole to everyone! I wish I hadn't been such an asshole to you too! I. . . I just wanted. . .'

'I—It's okay Paulo.' Sue said, passing him the cloth 'You don't need to say any more. I didn't. . . I should've told you earlier; back then. I should've had some courage. I really haven't been as good as a friend. I should've been and been honest with you from the start.' She felt despicable deep down. Why, oh why couldn't she have just told him earlier?

Paulo wiped his face frantically. 'No, you haven't. . .' he sniffed.

Sue was tearful. But Paulo hadn't finished.

'You've been my best and I'd have only wished I'd have realised it sooner.' He said, smiling under the tears rolling out of his eyes.

Sue sat back, slightly shocked. The truth had been she'd braced for the worst moments ago; she braced for the words that'd make her heart crumble. It didn't come. 'I. . .but. . .N—No! No! I stalked you! It was wrong! Y—you can't say—'

'I don't care!' Paulo shouted back. 'This is all so messed up. I just. . .I'd wished I'd been a bit smarter! I'd wished I'd known better! It fucking sucks!' He stood up. 'You've been there the whole time! And I. . .I—' He sobbed. 'God. The way I've been to you all this time! How could you even stand to even love me?!'

'I. . . I just do.' Sue whimpered back.

'But, I've hurt so many times! I don't deserve you! H—How could you still?!' He pleaded.

Sue shook her head, she smiled, tears ran out of her eyes and down her face again. 'I just do!'

He stared back at her, astonished. Before his legs couldn't take anymore, he collapsed back down to the floor again. He bought his knees to his chest and sobbed into them. He didn't deserve this; this degree of kindness. He just didn't; he pushed her around, he called her awful things, made fun of everything she loved for as long as he'd known. He took advantage of her on numerous occasions, even months before (and feeling guilty to an extent). There was no obligation for Sue to have to stick around or try so hard with him, but despite all of this, all of this, she refused to go quietly.

He shook as he cried. He wouldn't notice his phone had reached its breaking point; it tried the hardest it could, but its battery was empty. It finally died.

In the cold darkness he felt the warmth from Sue as she wrapped her arms around him like she before.

'I really just love you.' She told him.

He watched her as she went to light a candle. Neither of them was going to get any sleep tonight, the idea became an afterthought; there was still a need to talk, they needed to sort this out once and for all. But they couldn't talk in the dark, so she used the remaining battery in her phone to find the matches again. Only when the first candle did it run out of its charge like his phone had.

A mixture of emotion and feelings plagued Paulo inside. He desperately wanted to love again, be loved. But he swore off all of this, he swore to himself he wouldn't dare until he graduated. The timing was so. . . impeccable. He couldn't look at her, he'd felt to embarrassed to. He didn't deserve her kindness. She'd done so much to help him, and he'd been a shit in response.

It was so painful.

Sue turned around once the candle was lit. Her eyes met with his, and then they didn't; Paulo's looked to the floor. 'What's wrong, are you okay?' Sue asked, a little worried about him.

He sat with his knees to his chest much like she did, he rubbed his shoulders. 'Not really.' He said, being honest. How couldn't he? He felt she was the closest to him than anyone else in his most troubled time.

There was no uncertainty.

He felt her brush up beside him as she sat down. 'What's wrong?' She asked.

'I just don't wanna fuck this up.' He admitted. It hurt to think about it. 'Every relationship I've been in, I've messed it up one way or another. I told myself I wasn't going to do this anymore until I graduate. I wanna give something back to you for everything you've done, but. . . I really can't offer much.' He said.

Sue put an arm on his shoulder. 'We don't have to be a couple. You don't need to—'

He didn't let her finish, he felt like it would be a mistake if he didn't at least explore the possibility; 'But, I do.' Paulo said, turning to her. 'I really do. I—I'd like to! Really! It's just. . . I don't want to fuck this up. Not with a friendship this special.'

Sue's heart ached a little. 'I'm still surprised you think of me that much ever after everything I've done in return; I was really mean to you months before.'

'Yeah but who wasn't? I snooped on your game. But you helped get me good grade on that book report.'

'That report was all you.'

'No, you helped me get there. Not to mention, you know, helping me with other stuff.'

'Like?' She rubbed into his shoulder.

Paulo signed, 'Are you really gonna push me?'

'I really want to know!' Sue said eagerly, almost childlike.

'Like going to see some awful sappy romance movie, or the times you recommended I'd read those god-awful books and reach me more of your god-awful nerdy roleplay shit?' He said in jest. As Sue sighed, he nudged back into her. 'Honestly, the best fun I've had in ages.'

'We really need to find you a better way to open up more.' Sue said as she sighed again.

'Yeah, well. That goes both ways.' Paulo returned, only for Sue to stare back at him, cross. He didn't pay mind to it. He looked down and moved his hand over onto hers. 'Regardless of that, you're a life saver.' He sighed and gave it all some deeper thought, deciding to compromise on his decision from long ago about getting in another relationship; 'I wouldn't mind doing that for a bit longer; dating. I think that's what was missing from the last few times. Every other time we just dived right in before we . . . well, hopefully that'll then let you know if the hype was over-exaggerated.' He laughed.

Sue laughed with him and sat back, 'I'm. . .I'm okay with that. No I. . . I think that would be appropriate.' She said happily. She was happy that things didn't get out of control. There was a deal of silence between them, both sorry for how they acted, both not feeling good enough for the other.

'What happens now with your study?' Sue thought to ask.

'Hard to miss that I had been making good progress. . . but. . .'

'Do you. . . want to go back to what it was? The professional basis?'

'Is that what you want?'

Sue blushed, 'Hey I. . . I asked you first!'

Paulo scratched his head, 'Can't I just have both?' He asked. 'I desperately need a good tutor, I need all the help I can get through this year! But I wouldn't say no to someone spending it all with you. I mean, we can try to have fun studying, right?'

'Fun?' Sue said, suspicious.

'Yeah, you know, talking about stuff? Books, Movies, maybe even do things over the weekend?'

'O—oh!' Sue said, surprised. 'I thought you meant. . .'

'Meant what?' He asked. He didn't need to let his imagination go to far, she couldn't have been thinking about. . . 'Did you mean making out?' It was the only thing that it could've lead to, he was apparently right, Sue twitched when he said the word, she blushed and looked to the side. He laughed, 'W—Well, unless you were okay with that! But I wasn't implying. . .hey, are you okay? What's wrong?' He wondered.

'Nothing, you've just. . .matured, a bit.' She said with a hint of a disappointment in her voice.

'Huh?'

'You're not making this any easier! I kinda thought what I said earlier was all that was needed; that I'd say I loved you, and you'd. . . well. . . ' She hugged into her pillow. 'Kiss me.' She muttered into it.

'O-oh. . . uh, is that something you wanted to do?' Paulo asked, curiously.

Sue sighed. 'Well, I. . . was sort of expecting it earlier, back when I admitted. . .actually never-mind.' She said shying away.

'It doesn't have to be in the heat of the moment. We could still do it now, you know? This sort of counts. But you. . .' Paulo said with the last part muttered, his voice trailing away.

Her ears rose, 'What? I didn't catch that.'

'I said. . . you can't blame me if you get addicted to it.'

Sue blinked. 'You're kidding.' She didn't really know if he was simply kidding or not. 'Off a kiss?'

'What?' Paulo held his hands out to the side. 'Kisses are nice!'

'I—I wouldn't know! I—I haven't had my first yet!'

'Then, would you like to?'

Sue blushed harder than she had before. 'I—I'm not going to say it outright! What kind of a girl do you think I am!'

Ah yes, this felt familiar like the Sue he knew. He rolled his eyes, 'Repressed! Just say what you want!' he returned, only to get a cold stare in response. He sighed and twisted so he faced her. That was the easy part taken care of. The rest would be the difficult part. He had a faint feeling Sue would balk at the last minute. God, come to think of it he could too; his heart was racing. He was going to kiss Sue. What the hell? Was he really freaking out about this? How did it make it any different to the past? He'd done this nearly a hundred times already, he would've thought he'd be used to it by now!

Ah, but he was simply lying to himself. Kissing was. . .interesting to him.

Oh fuck, it was like a drug to him.

It always had this different experience with another girl despite it being delivered in universally the same fashion; always something new with each of the girls he'd been with. It was remarkable in that it—

He couldn't do it. He'd shifted closer to her while he tried not to focus on the subject matter. He let his instincts do the work; the result of making out with so many girls during his middle school years. His hand caressed her cheek, he bought himself closer. . . and he stopped.

'Sue, I can't do this if you're going to make that face at me.' He said, trying not to mirror her grimace.

'I'm nervous.' She stated flatly between her teeth.

'I can see! Just, relax a little. You know?'

'How do I even do that?!' She argued.

'Just close your eyes! And just, just give it a second before jerking backwards if you have to.'

'God you make it sound too easy!'

'We can stop if you—'

'N—No! Just, get it over and done with!'

He sighed, as Sue closed her eyes, he closed his eyes and leant in until his lips came upon a rest against hers. It was delicately done. They were like that for a short period until Paulo pulled away. The feeling felt. . .rather bland now that he thought about it. Was it his fault? He knew what was involved in a kiss.

Sue sat there with a blank look on her face, 'Was that it?' She asked.

'Well. . . I guess how it feels is up to you.' Paulo replied, still unsure how it didn't feel like the other times, a little saddened but keeping Sue in mind, 'I was kinda nervous on my first too. So, it's fine, don't worry about it. There'll be other times.' He said smiling.

'Well now I need to!' She worried, 'Was I meant to do anything? I mean the books said—'

'The books? You can't put it in words; you just. . . do it!'

'That doesn't tell me anything!'

'Look, I don't know how to explain it. In the past, I just. . . I just thought about what that person means to me and I just do the rest. I don't plan it, I can't explain it. I just think of what that person is to me.' He sighed, 'Well don't worry about it. There'll be other times. All you need to do is then just be yourself.'

'Be yourself.' Sue parroted. 'I feel like that something I need to worry about.'

'Oh come on, I'm pretty sure someone as lovey-dovey like you can work it out in time.' Paulo smiled.

Sue eyed him suspiciously, 'Where on earth did you get that impression?'

He froze, feeling somewhat embarrassed. 'N—Nowhere!' He replied, inside he swore at himself relentlessly, he'd have thought that there may have only been the faintest of chance, Sue wouldn't give him time to explain.

'Paulo!'

He shrugged, 'It—It was a guess! You said before you kind of. . . act a little bit like everyone around you, to fit in. So, I just figured you. . .probably have a softer side you're shying from.' Of all the lousy excused, he felt embarrassed, he was just guessing at this point wasn't he?

'That's a long-winded guess!' Sue said, arms folded.

Paulo scratched his head, 'Am I really that wrong?'

'I'm definitely not that sort of girl.'

'You're kidding?' he scratched his cheek, 'I was sure I was right. That little piece of paper from the book—'

Sue's eyes widened, 'What paper?!'

'From the book you leant me!'

'What note? What note?! I don't remember a—. What did it say?!'

'I—I think it said Romance is hard?'

Sue's face exploded into a shade of red Paulo didn't think was possible before her head collapsed into the pillow. A muffled 'Noooooooooooo!' coming from it. Paulo couldn't lie to himself, it was the cutest thing he'd ever seen Sue do. He didn't say anything. He just went up beside her and wrapped his arms around her.

For just a small moment, there was a minor glimpse of a Sue he was sure nobody else in the world had ever seen before.

'Paulo, are you asleep?' He heard from Sue's direction of the bed. 'You're not asleep yet, are you?'

'No.' Paulo replied, still awake, but only just barely. After Sue was done crying from embarrassment into the pillow they decided they should at least try to get some kind of sleep. Back-to-back as before in the cramped bed, they tried to sleep.

'Do you really think I should give directing another shot?'

'I think you should, any reason?'

'Well. . .The drama club is late on announcing a play. I think people were expecting I'd come up with something new.'

'You should! At least then you'd be able to guess if it's in you or not to take it further.'

'Hm. . .' Sue said in thought. 'Would you come if I guaranteed a seat?'

'I'd be rude if I didn't.' Paulo replied.

'Thanks.' A couple of seconds later, 'Hey. Paulo.'

'What up?'

'I promise we'll try and find something for you before graduation.'

Paulo thought about it. 'I look forward to it.'

'See you in the morning.'

'Goodnight, Sue.'

He blew the candle out.