And Now Your Beauty Won't Betray You

"Here you go, Miss Andie," Nurse Kate announced as she passed me a handheld mirror.

I stared at my reflection and ran my hand over my freshly shaved head. I swear I had an out of body experience or something because I so didn't recognize myself. It wasn't just my hair, or lack thereof, it was the fading bruises under my eyes and the sickly pale, ash white color of my skin.

"You… you actually look pretty good bald. That's not something every woman can say, Miss…"

"Andie. Just Andie. No, Miss. And this… I… I don't think this is the first time I've done this," I interrupted with my eyes still fixated on my reflection.

"If I had your bone structure, I probably would have tried it out too." She chuckled softly when she noticed how my eyes darted from the mirror to look up at her. She then gently pulled the mirror out of my hands while saying, "A psychologist is supposed to be coming by here soon. Is there anything I can get you?"

I checked the small jug beside my bed and shook my head when I noticed that it was still practically full. "No, I think I have everything I need."

"Alright, Andie." She stroked my head a couple of times then said, "You should try to get some rest before he gets here."

I nodded then moved further down the bed to lay down. I knew there was little to no chance that I would actually fall asleep, but there wasn't much else to do but try. Plus, I still found the room too bright, so laying down with my eyes closed was more comfortable than pretending to watch TV anyways.

When the psychologist finally arrived, it was mostly to teach me different techniques and exercises to try to help me regain my memories. He kept stressing that I shouldn't try to force it because it was common for victims of brutal assaults to suffer some level of amnesia. Yeah, between the police and the doctors, they had come to the conclusion that someone had hit me over the head with something heavy like a baseball bat. So, now I was being treated like a victim of a domestic assault and any little detail I remembered was being recorded, even though most of what I remembered had nothing to do with my actual assault.

Since I had been unconscious for more than a couple of days, the doctors wanted me to stay in the hospital so that they could monitor my progress. They didn't sound like they were concerned with any complications because of the emergency surgery. It was more that I had a traumatic brain injury and they would be unpredictable.

If I still wasn't able to remember any personal details to have a family member care for me, they would have a social worker help arrange something for me. Since I was right-handed, I wasn't too worried about being able to take care of myself while I had a cast on my left arm. The only problem was that I had nowhere to do that. Well, we were all pretty sure that I did have a home, but I still didn't know where it could be.

After a couple of days, they started letting me go outside to walk in a park by the hospital. While I was out, I started to remember small flashes about my real life. I think I lived with someone… or at least that's the nagging feeling I kept having while I was walking. Shit, he must be going crazy right now. I knew that I had no real reason to feel guilty, but it happened anyways. Whoever he was, he had to be worries that I hadn't made it home or gotten into contact with him. But then again, the police hadn't come back to follow up on any missing person's reports either. Maybe that meant that there was no one around who missed me.

Fuck. Isn't that a depressing thought?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I was sitting in the psychologist's office at the hospital listening to him talk about… Shit… I don't even know. My attention had started to wander when a photo behind him had captured my attention. It was of a fishing trip he had done with his son… Or at least I assumed it was his son because I never actually asked the doctor about it.

"I remember something," I blurted out.

For a split second the doctor looked perturbed. I must have interrupted him during a good part of his story or something. But he got over it quickly to ask in a very professional tone, "And what is it that you remember, Andie?"

"My full name is Andrea Griffin Winston and… And I'm dating the Deputy Chief of the Charming Police Department. David talks a lot about taking me to his favorite fishing spot when everything starts to settle at my new business."

His eyes widened before he asked in the same polite, professional tone that he always used when we were in a session, "That's very good to hear. Do you remember your boyfriend's full name?"

"No… I mean… Yeah… Yes. Hale, David Hale. We've known each other since high school.'

"That's very good. Do you remember anything about your business?"

"I…" I stopped and tried to think, but he quickly interrupted me saying, "That's alright, Andie. You've made some great progress today. Like I've said before, don't try to force anything right now."

I nodded replying, "Okay. So? Do you think someone can call him and tell him where I am? He must be worried sick."

"Of course, we can, Ms. Winston. I'll make sure we get word to Deputy Gomez as soon as possible. I'm sure that your boyfriend being in law enforcement will make it easier for them to contact him. Now, what do you remember about your family? Anything about your blood relations?"

I gave myself a moment to really consider his words before I answered, "I… I have a brother… My twin. The tattoo on my back… We got those as a grad presents for each other… He has a matching one."

"Really? So, I take it that means you two are close."

"We used to be inseparable, but… umm… we still talk a lot but we… we aren't quite as close as we used to be."

He got a thoughtful look on his face and asked, "And why is that?"

"we grew up," I answered with a practiced ease. "He has a wife and kids now, so our relationship had to evolve too."

"That makes sense. And his wife and kids? Do you get along with them?"

"They're the best. Donna is… I mean… she was the most amazing mom. She… She really was the absolute best with Kenny and Ellie."

"Was? You changed tenses. May I ask why you did that?"

He passed me a tissue so that I could dry the tears that had started to spill down my cheeks and blow my nose. "I'm still getting used to talking about her in the past tense. She… she was murdered… in… a drive-by shooting. I've been spending a lot of time with my niece and nephew to help them deal with everything."

"But not your brother?"

"Yeah… well… We talk on the phone almost every day, but for some reason our paths just haven't crossed. I guess it doesn't feel the same because our talks have been exclusively over the phone."

"That's understandable. What about your parents? Do…?" He abruptly cut himself off when I barked out an unhappy laugh. He levelled me with a look until I finally fell silent. "I take it that means you remember something about your parents?"

"I do. My father and I aren't on speaking terms right now. My mom… well… Let's put it this way… At least my father has always been upfront about his disdain for me. I keep thinking Mom and I will be able to have a relationship but then… well… she always gives me a reminder about why I shouldn't bother."

"I'm sorry to hear that. What about your boyfriend? What does your family…? What…? What does that look mean?"

"They don't know about him."

"Oh… So…?"

"No, it's not… It's just…" I jumped in. "I've never told my family about any of the guys that I've been dating. I'm not hiding just David from them."

"Really? Because that sounds more like a justification to me."

I smiled then shook my head. "I really can't keep him all that hidden. We grew up together, so he already knows my family and they know of him."

"But not as your boyfriend?"

"No, not as my boyfriend. Well… not yet."

"Yet?" He sat up and added, "Does that mean that you have really thought about telling them about this relationship?"

I nodded answering, "We've been getting kind of serious, so it just feels right. But we haven't figured out a day that will work to come clean to everyone. I swear it isn't a cop out, it's just been a really busy time for all of us."

"That's understandable. Now, if it came down to it and we HAD to contact someone from your family, who…?

"Opie," I answered over the rest of his question. "My twin brother is who you should call if you can't get a hold of anyone else."

"Andie and Opie?" He asked with a soft chuckle.

I couldn't help but let out a soft groan. "I know, right? And people wonder why I have trust issues, especially with my family."

"That's one way to look at it, Ms. Winston." And that has been some really great progress today. Don't forget to keep a journal of any new memories or dreams until our next session."

"Okay, I will, but…? Umm… Do you think I'll get to go home soon?"

His smile widened into the first genuine one of the day. "The sooner we get a hold of someone from your family, the sooner we can get you home. I honestly believe that because of your ties to the people that you love that you will have a faster recovery by being with them."

"Really? That…? That actually works?"

"Yes, it does," he replied with the same polite grin I had grown accustomed to seeing. "It falls under the same premise of people who have faith and praying being the ones who heal faster. Some people equate it to being a placebo effect."

"Okay… That's… That's… Fucking awesome! Shit… Sorry… I… fuck… Err, I mean…"

He started laughing then and said "It's fine, Andie. Actually, it's refreshing because it feels like I've finally got a glimpse at the real you."

By this time, I had my head buried in my hand. That's why I was looking through my fingers at him when I asked, "And who would that be? A complete and total spaz?"

"No," he answered in a surprisingly earnest tone. "You are a woman who is very passionate, but for some reason you feel like you have to rein it in and keep from showing it that intensity to most people."

"You would totally understand if you knew my extended family." I got up and head towards his office door. Before I turned the knob to look at him and ask, "After I go home…? I mean… When I leave the hospital… Does that mean that you and I…?"

"No," He mercifully cut in. "We can still have appointments. In fact, I hope we will continue our sessions. But it will be entirely be up to you."

"Really? That's… That's awesome. I'll make sure to schedule some appointments with your office, I promise."

"That is very encouraging to hear."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

My sleep that night and most of the next day had been filled with the worst nightmares I had experienced since I woke up in the hospital. I swear I woke up every half hour in a cold sweat. But, thank to Dr. Gee, I remembered to pull out my journal after I went to the washroom to splash cold water on my face to wash away the sweat. My dreams had been REALLY vivid. Like scary realistic. But I was really hoping that's all they were… dreams.

I was feverishly writing when Nurse Kate came into my room with my breakfast in hand. She abandoned the tray she had been carrying on the counter to walk towards me asking, "Andie? Is everything okay?"

"Yes," I answered through a sob.

"Andie," she countered in a very stern, almost motherly tone.

"No, really," I replied in a calmer tone. "I just had a bad nightmare, but I'm okay."

"Nightmare? Do you…?" Can you tell me about it?"

I sniffled in a breath then answered, "The worst in the series was when I watched my boyfriend die. I knew my imagination could get really scary and dark, but that… that was beyond disturbing."

"Understandably." She then placed a tray of food in front of me and added, "But before you eat lunch, can I offer you some good news?"

"Lunch?" I questioned dumbly as I watched her take the lid off my soup. "I…? I slept through breakfast?"

"Sorry. We noticed that you were finally resting when we were delivering breakfast, so we didn't want to disturb you. Now that you've told me about your dreams, I'm really glad we didn't BUT! It means that you really need to eat your lunch."

I picked up the spoon and shoveled a couple mouthfuls before I said, "Okay, I'm eating now. Can you please tell me the good news?"

She smiled but just stood there and watched me eat. What the hell? Fine, I kept eating but once I was done my soup, her eyes moved to the tuna sandwich sitting on a plat. When I picked it up, she looked pleased and smiled more pleasantly.

As I continued to eat, she then replied, "The good news? We got a hold of your brother."

"You dif?" I asked with my mouth full of sandwich.

Nurse Kate laughed at that reaction. "We did. He's going to try to get here as soon as possible. But it might not be until after dinner."

"Really?!" I questioned while I tried not to cry.

Kate had turned his attention to my IV and was adjusting it as she answered, "He knows that you'll need a change of clothes, so he said it might take some time to get that together. But he promised he'd be here today. He… he even…" She shook her head but didn't finish that thought.

"He what?" I quickly asked. "Please? What else did he say? It might sound stupid to you, but I swear it will… I mean it should make sense to me… I hope."

I lost a lot of stream while I spoke, so Kate rushed to my side to get me to refocus my attention on her. "Okay. He said to do this while I told you…" She placed her right fist over her heart and ran it over her chest in a circular motion as she said, "He told us to tell you… while doing this (she continue to make circles over her heart with her fist) 'Drea, I will see you soon.' Does that make sense?"

"Yes," I replied through more tears. "But only because my little brother is a huge dork."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Opie hadn't said what time he'd make it to the hospital. That gave me lots of time to sit around and stew. Except I'm not all that good at being idle. Instead, I tried to leave to go for a walk outside, numerous times eat up the hours I was waiting for my brother. Since I wasn't allowed to leave the hospital, I ended up pacing around my room to pass the time. It was kind of crazy how easily I charted out a course on my hospital room floor. It helped that no one interrupted me or came to check on me, even though, in the back of my mind, I knew that it should bother me that no one seemed to care about what I was doing.

I don't know how long I had been pacing before I heard, "You keep pacing like that and you'll wear a hole in the floor."

I turned and sprinted in the direction of the voice. Opie barely had time to drop the duffle bag he was holding to catch me. And I mean CATCH in the literal sense. I launched myself into his arms and buried my face into his neck. He hooked his hands under my knees to shift me in his arms so that it was easier for him to carry me over to my bed.

He didn't try to detach himself from my embrace just yet. He knew that resistance was futile. Instead, he sat on the bed and moved my legs so that I was sitting across his lap. I'm sure that he could feel my tears dripping off my chin onto his neck, but neither of us did anything to try to stop them.

Opie pressed his cheek to the top of my head while he massaged the back of my neck. "I'm sorry it took me so long to get here."

My tears had finally slowed down enough that I could take in a couple of deep breaths. As I calmed myself down, I moved my head back to rest it on his shoulder. "You're here now… That's all that matters."

I don't know how long we sat like that in silence. My casted hand automatically moved to rest on Opie's chest over his tattoo while I let him hold me. His hand had done the same, except that it had yet to cease its circular motion over my back. It's amazing how some things never seem to change even years later. And I'm not going to lie, I always felt more grounded and reassured when we did stuff like this. It was my reset button when I felt like my world was falling apart around me.

We probably would have stayed like that all night, but we were interrupted by Dr. Cunningham, the neurologist on staff at Sutter Memorial Hospital, called out from my open door, "I'm sorry to break up your moment, but Ms. Winston I have your release papers here."

"You do?" I asked as I extracted myself from Opie's protective hold.

"I do, along with your prescriptions. Your brother told me you have a doctor in the family, but feel free to make an appointment with my office to have your staples removed. And here's my card, just in case either of you have any questions at all. I know this had been a difficult ordeal and that it can be overwhelming, so questions might come up once you get settled, so please don't hesitate to call if they do."

"Thank you, I will," I replied in a very meek tone as I watched Opie pocket the doctor's card.

"And I've heard that you already made some appointments with Dr. Gee?"

"Yes, Sir, I did. His secretary suggested doing it sooner than later because his schedule was filling up so fast."

"I'm sure that it was. It's good to hear you'll be seeing him after you leave here because that will definitely help with your continued recovery. I wish you all the best, Ms. Winston. Please do take care."

"Thanks, Doc, for everything. I know I wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for you and your expertise."

He just smiled politely at that compliment then turned to say to Opie, "It was nice to meet you too, Mr. Winston. Did you remember what your question was?"

Opie shook his head as he took the doctor's offered hand and shook it. "No, I don't, but it's fine. It's already been answered. Thank you for everything."

Once we were alone again, Opie picked up the duffle bag and carried it over to my bed. I remained seated on the bed while I watched him pull out the clothes he had brought for me to change into. I had expected him to give some sort of an explanation for what he had said to the doctor, but the longer he stayed quiet the less likely that appeared to be happening.

When he passed me the pile of neatly folded clothes, I kept a hold of his hands to force him to look at me when I asked, "What was your question?"

"It doesn't matter, Drea."

"It does to me, Opie. Please tell me?"

There was that sad puppy dog look that always broke my heart. What the hell could be THAT bad? What could…? That thought faded away when Opie liberated one of his hands to stroke his palm over my freshly shaved head.

"I was wondering how bad your injuries were, but the cast, your bald head, and the staples…Fuck… STAPLES not stitches… They paint a very vivid picture."

"Oh… That…" I point to my left forearm that was in a cast as I said, "The stitches were under the cast, but I've been here long enough that they've been removed."

"Drea…" He tried to chastise me with a soft sob.

I shrugged then earnestly countered, "What? It's the truth."

He leaned down to kiss the top of my head. "I know… but that doesn't make it better. Take your time getting changed."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Opie drove me to his place in my Yukon. That was kind of surreal because I usually didn't let anyone else drive my truck. But it was more comfortable than his pickup, so I didn't say anything about it. The kids were fast asleep when we got to the house, so after kissing each of them good night, I started down the hall to the guest room while Opie thanked the Crow Eater he had recruited to watch the kids while he picked me up.

I didn't recognize her, but I did recognize the look on her face. I had only really looked at myself in a handheld mirror, so I hadn't actually gotten to see how I really looked with my bald head, staples and the other still healing injuries on my face and body. That's why Opie found me standing in front of a full-length mirror in the guest room, just staring at my reflection.

"Drea?" He called out softly as he approached me.

I didn't take my eyes off my reflection as I asked, "What the hell happened? I mean… the car accident, I get, but what the fuck happened before that?" I turned around then to face Opie where he was now sitting on the bed. "I NEVER drive drunk, so how did I end up driving into a tree? And why was I driving Piney's Junker? I haven't been to the cabin since… Fuck… Since junior year. I… I can't figure out how it all fits. Do…? Do you know?"

Opie nodded then answered, "But maybe we should talk about all of it in the morning."

"No, Opie, please? All I've done for almost two weeks is sleep. You can finally give me some answers. Please, don't make me wait, please?"

He let out a heavy sigh then stood up off the bed. He took my right hand into his then guided me to the bed. Once I was seated, he started pacing in front of me. Just like I was prone to do, he was pacing while he gathered his thoughts, so I just sat and waited patiently for him to speak. Well, as patiently as I could.

"Drea? What's the last thing you remember? They said that your short-term member was messed up, but how bad is it?"

He sat down to watch me while I gave his question some thought. "I… I remember David and I talking about moving in together. But then I… I had this dream… No… I had a nightmare where I watched him get run over by a van."

"That' wasn't a dream."

I stared at Opie with my mouth gaping open. He couldn't hold eye contact with me for very long, so I gripped his right hand tightly as I tearfully asked, "David… David's dead?"

He nodded and when he turned to face me again, I could see tears gathering in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Drea."

"How…? Not like… I mean… How long ago?"

"It's been almost two years."

"Two years? Shit…" Now it was my turn to get up and start pacing. "Two years… So?" I stopped to face him. "Dad and I… does that mean that he and I made up, fought, and made up again too?"

He tried to smile as he nodded but a soft sob came out instead. I rushed over to him and hugged him. I remained standing while he wrapped his hands around my waist. He cried softly into my chest while I combed the fingers of my right hand through his hair. As I continued to try to comfort him, a flood of memories hit me all at once… and hard.

"You got married… But she… she betrayed you, so you did something stupid. I held you like this not that long ago in the clubhouse apartment, right?"

"Yeah, that's right."

"Wow…" I sat down again. "The doctors said that being somewhere familiar might help jog my memory, but shit… that was… wow."

Opie huffed out a laugh then we sat in silence for a couple of minutes. I guess we both got lost in our own thoughts, but he took me out of mine by reaching over to hold my right hand.

"Do you remember what happened at the cabin?"

I shook my head replying, "Dad and I drank a LOT of booze while we pretended to play cards. I woke up to the sound of someone breaking down the front door, but… But that's all I remember before I woke up in the hospital."

"That's actually a bit of a blessing."

Blessing? Okay that made NO sense to me and I know my confusion was plain on my face.

"Drea? Are you sure you want to get into all of this tonight?"

I held his gaze as I resolutely stated, "Yes, Opie. Please? We've come this far, I'm ready for the truth."

"Okay. It… It was Clay who broke into the cabin and he… he… Clay shot Dad."

"Shot Dad? Does…? You don't mean…? Is…?"

He pulled me into his chest as I broke down into uncontrollable sobs. "I'm so sorry, Drea. He didn't make it," Opie whispered against the side of my head as his own tears tried to overwhelm him.

"Did…? Did he…? I mean…?"

Opie pressed my head against his shoulder replying, "I had to be him. Nothing else makes sense for your attack."