But Part Of Me Still Thinks We Are Just Stardust

I woke up to the sound of someone knocking loudly on the front door. At first, I was tempted to roll over and ignore it, but when I found the other half of the bed still empty, I got an unwelcomed reminder. I was home alone. After we ate dinner together, I finally fell asleep on the couch.

When Happy carried me to bed later that night, I woke up briefly. Happy kissed my head then quietly said, "Go back to sleep, Princess. You need your rest."

At that time, I nodded and rolled over with every intention of snuggling up into his side. But Happy hadn't gotten into bed. When he saw me sit up to look for him, he came back to my side to explain, "I was going to check on Tara while you slept. I wanted to see if there's any updates."

"Really? That's awesome. Give her my best."

"I will. Sweet dreams."

He kissed me one last time and then helped me settle back into bed to tuck me in. I closed my eyes until I heard him start to walk away. As he approached the door, I opened my eyes to watch him walk away. Damn, I really needed to buy him some tighter fitting jeans. The baggy pants and his cut really didn't do his firm muscles justice. It was always better to watch him walk to the bathroom for his morning shower because he didn't waste any energy pulling on any clothes. And we both usually opted to sleep naked so that we didn't have to worry about disrobing if the mood struck us.

Now, though, I just hit my palm against his side of the bed and cursed Happy's kind heart. Not that I was genuinely upset about him checking on Tara and the boys. But I was selfish and really wanted him to be here to deal with whomever was knocking on our front door.

I forced myself to roll out of bed and heart the persistent knocking continued. As I pulled on my robe I called out, "COMING!"

But that didn't help because they just kept knocking. And yelling something that was too muffled for me to hear.

FUCK! I was awake and coming to the door. Maybe if they stopped knocking for a damn second, they would hear me as I walked through the living room yelling, "COMING!"

"Jesus," I huffed out as I pulled open the door. "What the hell…?" The 'do you want' went unsaid when I saw that it was Lt. Roosevelt standing on our front doorstep.

He removed his hat as he turned around and gave me a sad smile. "I'm sorry to wake you, Ms. Winston but…"

"Happy isn't here. BUT! HE was with me all day, so whatever he's been accused of, it wasn't him, I swear," I interrupted in a near panicked tone.

He reached out a hand to touch my forearm to get me to make eye contact with him. "I'm not here about Mr. Lowman."

He didn't say anything else after that. But he did maintain steady eye contact until my breathing started to slow down. Shit. I hadn't noticed that I was hyperventilating until I met his unyielding gaze. I think that realization helped more than anything for me to try to regain my composure.

Once I had calmed down and was breathing at a more normal pace, Lt. Roosevelt finally continued, "Again, I'm sorry I had to wake you, Ms. Winston. Would you mind if I came inside?"

I didn't have to give any conscious thought before I gave my answer. It was the same answer I had been trained to give since I had first learned how to speak.

"Sorry, Sir. I can only let you in if you have a warrant."

That answer seemed to take him aback. But he recovered quickly and smiled politely as he replied, "Ms. Winston I'm not here to search for anyone or anything. I just need to speak to you and I feel it would be prudent if we were seated for this conversation."

Seated? What the hell? What could he need to tell me that was so important?

I shook my head then repeated, "I'm sorry, but I can't allow you in, Sir. Please, just tell me whatever it is that you need to say so that I can get back to bed."

"Alright," he answered, not sounding like he wasn't really happy about the fact that he was still standing out on the front doorstep. "The San Joaquin County Correctional Center requested we attend your residence to speak to you because they weren't able to reach you by phone."

"I put my cell on silent when I'm sleeping. Everyone from the Club and my businesses know to call the house if it's an emergency and I don't answer my cell."

"Ah… That's understandable. And again, I know how important it is for you to get proper sleep while you're healing, but this unfortunately can't wait."

"Can't wait?" I questioned around a lump forming in my throat. "What can't wait?"

"Ms. Winston…"

"Andie. Just fucking call me Andie, Eli. We don't need all of the formal bullshit."

Not surprisingly, he looked annoyed at that comment but that expression was replaced with a professional, bland look just as quickly. "Alright… Andie. I was asked to speak to you because there was an incident at the center tonight…"

"An incident?" I asked in a high-pitched voice because panic was trying to over-take me again. "What…? Kind…? Of…? Of…? In… Incident?"

He reached out to catch my arm as I started to double over as I tried to catch my breath. But I was full on hyperventilating, so I couldn't take in a proper breath no matter how hard I tried. It didn't help that tears were not gathering in my eyes as the lump on my throat grew uncomfortably large.

"Andie, maybe you would prefer to sit down," he offered again in a soft, caring tone.

That helped me to sober up enough that I could protest (although I was still hyperventilating pretty badly, so I know I didn't sound all that confident), "No. Puh… lease… St-stop de-de-delaying. Please… Please just tell me."

"Okay… Okay…" Lt. Roosevelt moved his hand up my arm so that he could help keep me upright as he continued speaking. "Andie there was an incident where Mister… uh… Your brother. He got into a fight with another inmate…"

"NO!" I interrupted with a horrific wail. That's when I finally started to connect the dots. "NO! NO…! They… they… NO!"

Suddenly my knees gave out on me, but I didn't fall. Eli looked as surprised as I felt about the fact that I wasn't down on the floor, which told me that he wasn't the cause. No, I was still upright because two strong arms had caught me from behind. He literally caught my dead weight so that I remained upright, so effortlessly that Eli actually looked startled.

"Why don't you come inside, Lieutenant?" Happy offered as he picked me up to carry me over to the couch.

Lt. Roosevelt nodded but he couldn't find the proper words to respond. Instead, he continued nodding as he closed the front door. When he turned around, he paused at the threshold as he watched Happy comfort Andie. When he was asked to take over the post in Charming, he did so happily. It was mostly because he knew with his experience with gangs that he could really help to clean up Charming and rid it of the criminal parasites that were draining the life blood of this small town.

But once he arrived here something unexpected happened. His wife had actually befriended some of the wives and girlfriends of the motorcycle gang. That included the woman who was now being comforted by her boyfriend because he the 'fearless lawman', had reduced her to a choking mass of ugly tears. Those friendships had in turn had started to put a human face on the gang that he now sometimes slipped up and called it a 'club' from time to time.

He actually shook his head as he watched Happy try to calm Andie down. When Eli had first laid eyes on Happy Lowman as he rode into town, he initially had worried. Over the years Happy had been a suspect in numerous crimes, not just throughout the State of California, but the Southern USA as well. Eli figured that mean he might have bitten off more than he could chew But Rita had been quick to remind him that Happy was dating Andie… Andie, who was a sweet, upstanding businesswoman in the community. She had also dated the Deputy Chief of Police. If Andie could see enough good in him to be in a relationship with her, that must have meant that he had some redeemable qualities.

Eli hadn't seen it and he kept trying to write off Rita's insights because he figure he would never see it. Well, up until now. Right now, he didn't see a man who had been suspected of carrying out some of the worst hired hits he had ever had to investigate or consult on. No, right now he just saw a concerned boyfriend who was trying to do everything in his power to try to calm his girlfriend down. But all of his efforts to console the distraught appeared to be a losing cause.

The two men sat in an uncomfortable silence while they listened to Andie cry. Lt. Roosevelt cringed a couple of times because she was sobbing so violently that it looked physically painful. She could barely get a full breath into her lungs, but that didn't seem to impede her tears in any way. As he watched the tragic scene, Eli heaved out a silent sigh. This was the part of the job he disliked the most. He hated having to give bad news to people who, for all intents and purposes hadn't done anything to hurt anyone or earn such horrific news. From everything Rita had told him about Andie and the searches he had done when he first moved to Charming, Andie appeared to be exactly what you saw; despite being the daughter of one of the founders of the Sons of Anarchy she had no criminal record and didn't appear to have any direct ties to the criminal activities the gang was suspected of conducting. Her business was completely separate from the club and the member of SAMCRO seemed to respect that separation because they didn't frequent her bar or restaurant. When he noticed that the parking lot at the Buffalo Bar and Grill rarely had a motorcycle in it, he stopped in for a meal. That soon turned into him and Rita going to the restaurant for dinner on a frequent enough basis that he had a few friendly conversations with the owner. He genuinely liked Andie and he had actually been the one to insist that she use his first name, especially when he was her customer and out of uniform.

Bu that familiarity just made this part of the job that much harder. If he had of been able to maintain a professional distance then maybe he wouldn't be feeling the gnawing pain in the pit of his stomach. Or the lump that wanted to find a home at the base of his throat.

Eli couldn't hear anything that Happy was murmuring into Andie's ear, but he really wished he could. She was still crying, which wasn't a surprise or completely unexpected, but her soul crushing sobs had finally started to subside. She tried to sniffle in a breath and as it always happens when she cries, her airway was completely obstructed. Eli spotted a box of tissues at the opposite end of the couch from where the couple was seated, so he hurried over to it to carry it over to Happy.

Eli cleared his throat quietly to get Happy's attention. When the biker looked up, he had a slightly perturbed expression. That was until he saw the Kleenex box. The instant it came into view, his face completely relaxed and if Eli wasn't mistaken, he would say he even managed to get a soft smile from the other man.

The 'thank you' Happy uttered when he plucked a couple of tissues was barely audible. But Eli could feel the sincerity by the look it put on Happy's face. It was enough to ease some of the tightness in Eli's chest.

After he took in a couple of deep breaths to ensure his voice would be steady, Lt. Roosevelt said, "I know I can't say anything to ease the pain you're feeling, but if there is anything I can do, please don't hesitate to let me know."

I blew my nose no less than five times then answered in a stuttered manner, "Th-th-thank y-you. I…" I had to stop there because I choked on either the breath I took in or my tears. That's also when another thought hit me. "D-d-does…? H-h-has…? H-h-has s-s-some w-w-won t-t-told…?"

"Yes, the officials were going to call Lyla."

I wanted to reply, but a fresh round of tears stole my words. Happy hugged me into his chest then said to Lt. Roosevelt, "Thank you for everything that you've done for Andie, Lieutenant." He then picked me up and carefully placed me on the couch while quietly saying to me, "I'll be right back, Princess."

He then stood up and turned to say to the lawman, "I'll walk you out, Lt. Roosevelt."

"Oh… Right… Alright." Eli looked past Happy to somberly state, "I truly am sorry for your loss, Andie."

I wanted to thank him. I really did try to say it. But all I could do right now was hiccup between sobs.

As they walked to the front door, Eli quietly asked, "I heard a rumor that her father passed away earlier this year… Has she really lost both her father and brother this year?"

"Yes," Happy replied in a clip, abrupt voice.

"Shit," Elie cursed in a barely audible voice. At the door he put his hat back on his head to help him try to reground himself. "That… That's more loss than anyone should have to experience. I know you and your… club have trust issues with my department, but we do have some very well-trained people in our Victims' Services sectioned. Please make sure that Andie knows they are available to her. And anything she says to them is completely confidential."

"Appreciate the offer," Happy replied with his eyes focused on his girlfriend. "But that won't be necessary."

Eli followed Happy's gaze to look at Andie as well. She was sitting up straight and looked like she was trying to appear confident and calm. Eli shook his head then replied, "I know she's a strong woman, but…"

"That isn't what I meant," Happy interrupted when he noticed the Lieutenant's misunderstanding. That caused Lt. Roosevelt's to turn his eyes to Happy's face. Happy had a familiar intense look in his eyes as he stared the Lieutenant down and added, "She's still seeing the psychologist at the hospital where she had her surgery. If she wasn't, I would suggest she contact your office."

"She…? Oh… I…" Lt. Roosevelt shook his head to clear his head. "That's wonderful to hear. But don't forget we're here to help."

"We'll keep it in mind."

With that said, Lt. Roosevelt nodded his head then slipped out the door. Happy remined where he was standing until he heard the engine of the Lieutenant's vehicle turn over because he was lost in thought about the other man's last question. He had said he heard a rumor that Andie's father had died. Where had he heard that rumor? And more importantly, from whom?

Happy would have been content to run through a mental list of possible candidates until he heard Andie blow her nose again. That noise coincided with Eli starting his vehicle and leaving. His eyes automatically jumped to where Andie was seated and all of his thoughts of a possible mole working within the club to feed the Sheriff's department information disappeared. Now he only had one topic in mind; Andie, his Princess.

Happy rushed back over to the couch and lifted me into his arms again. I felt like a little girl who was being carried to bed after falling asleep on the couch by her daddy. My head fell to his shoulder as I finally started to relax a minute amount.

"I… I… I… Sh-sh-should…"

"No," he retorted in a firm but loving voice. "Right now, you need to rest as much as you can."

"B-b-but…"

"But nothing. You want to comfort her, so you need to rest so that you'll have the strength to do that."

"I… uhh…" I stopped to try to let my brain process what he had just said. I didn't want to admit he was right, but I couldn't argue with his logic. "But I… I… I don't think I can sleep."

"That's fine, Princess," he said as he started to carry me towards our bedroom. "But I said 'rest' not 'sleep'."

Oh, shit. He had me there. I couldn't find the words to let him know I understood what he was saying or that I understood what he meant. That's why I just kissed his cheek and then rested my head back on his shoulder while he continued to carry me to bed.