Go, Doctor! Return to the others!
No, Jamie! I won't leave you!
I will not let them take you. Now run, Doctor! Run, and don't look back!
And so, the Doctor ran. He ran until he could run no more, stumbling into the TARDIS as if he were drunk. Peri and Frobisher questioned him as to where Jamie and Maxilla were, but he could not speak. He could not even look at them, out of fear they would see the guilt and pain that was written on his face. But they realized what must have happened, and Peri, with her kind heart, knelt next to him and embraced him tightly. The Doctor hugged back just as tight, holding her close against him. He squeezed his eyes shut as Jamie's last words to him echoed inside his mind.
Don't look back!
"I'm sorry, Doctor." Peri whispered quietly. The Doctor just nodded, still a bit numb. He knew this would happen.
"How could I have been so stupid, bringing him along?" he murmured. "I should have known he would pull something like that."
"Maybe he's still alive?" Frobisher suggested. "Maybe he got the upper hand?"
"Against the Cybermen?" the Doctor gave a short, humorless laugh, standing up and walking over to the console. He tried to check the readings, but his mind was still buzzing.
I need to go back. I can't leave him behind, part of him, the sentimental part thinks.
He's dead. Dead like all the others. You'll only give yourself the same fate if you return, the other responds. This is the part of him that he hated. It was the one pushing him away from feeling any emotion whatsoever.
He's my friend!
He's human. If you rescue him, he'll only live to die again.
I don't care.
You do, Doctor. You know you do.
Shut up.
He's an old man. Even if you save him and return him home, he'll just die there.
SHUT UP!
"I'm going back for him." the Doctor finally says, pulling the lever to open the door. As it hummed open, Peri came to stand at his side.
"I'm coming with you." she insists. "We're both coming with."
But the Doctor shook his head. "It's too dangerous. I won't have you getting captured as well. You stay here and keep an eye on my tracker."
"But-!" Peri starts, but the Doctor is firm.
"I will not lose another friend tonight."
Where was he?
He felt alone.
Abandoned.
Numb.
He clenched his hand inside of the metal glove. Cringing, he remembered that the Controller had injured it in his fight against the Cybermen.
Wait.
Fight?
He had fought...against his own people? Why had he fought? A small voice at the back of his head seemed to be providing information.
It was the enemy.
Who?
A Time Lord.
What's a Time Lord?
The enemy.
Yes, he knew that, but what was a Time Lord?
No more questions, half-breed.
Why do you call me half-?
A searing pain suddenly went up his back, up his neck, and to the top of his head. Buckling forward, he bit his lip to keep the scream inside, as the pain went from dull to a fire burning up him. He wanted to call out for help, but who could help him here, in this place? He was alone. Alone with just his thoughts.
His last thought before he lost consciousness was a silent wish that someone would come.
The closer he got to the Worldshaper, the more his thoughts wandered to Jamie.
Maybe he won, and he was at the TARDIS right now with Peri and Frobisher.
Maybe he won, but there was a malfunction with the Worldshaper and he was aged to death.
Maybe he was dying on the floor of the chamber, with the Cybermen rushing around him.
Maybe-
No! No, enough with those thoughts. I'll get there, and he'll be standing there amidst dead Cybermen. He'll be mad at me for coming back, but he'll be over it by the time we get back to the TARDIS. Everything will be fine.
You don't know that.
I thought I told you to shut up?
He's dead. Accept it. Turn around, and leave him to rot.
Even if he is dead, I won't leave him here.
He has no one back home. No one would notice that he's gone.
There has to be someone who visited him. It was his home.
Was his home.
I won't be accepting further criticism from you, thank you very much.
You know I'm right.
I don't know a thing.
He came too with the pain still there, but it had dulled to the point where he could straighten back up again. The metal mask scratched his face, opening up a new gash on his cheek. He hissed. It occurred to him that he had never opened his eyes since he had been put into this room. When he tried, however, he realized they were open, and either there was something in the mask blocking his vision, or the Cybermen kept the place so dark he couldn't see five feet in front of him. Or, he thought grimly, they had plucked his eyes out while he was unconscious.
The suit the Cybermen had put him in was just a simple one made of stretchy material, but the outer layers were more elaborate. A large, metal mask covered his head, with eye holes being the only opening. He had some kind of contraption on his chest, which he assumed was working as his heart. Cybernetic parts wound up from it to the bottom of his neck where they stopped quite suddenly. He remembered fighting back against the Cybermen when they tried to connect them to his brain. He didn't know why he fought back, but he did. He wore a metal glove over both his hands, and metal boots on his feet. Neither were comfortable. He wished he wasn't in this mess. The cybernetic parts hurt his back.
But if you had stayed behind, they would have killed the Doctor.
It was a voice in his head again, yes, but this one seemed different. This one seemed...sane. He tentatively spoke back to it.
Who are you?
You.
Oh, no. Now he knows he's gone mad.
You're not mad. You never have been.
Tell that to the people who outcast him.
They didn't want to believe what you saw was true. You're better than them.
He's not.
Oh, yes you are. You are smarter than them. You have seen the future. You have seen more than any of them ever will in their lifetimes.
How?
The Doctor took you in. Don't you remember?
There that name was again. The Doctor. Something inside told him he should remember, but...he didn't. It was like the memories were there, but they were hidden. It bothered him.
Who is the Doctor?
Your friend.
Impossible. He had no friends.
He brought you here. He is the reason you are being converted.
But you said he was my friend.
Yes.
And you said I made that choice myself.
Yes. But if you weren't friends…
No! He doesn't know why he stops the voice from saying more, but he does. Inferring that he could have never met the Doctor made him empty inside. He couldn't bear it.
Ever so loyal, Jamie McCrimmon.
He is confused. Why has the voice called him that? Was that his name?
"Jamie McCrimmon…" He tries the name out on his tongue. It feels right. This must be his name. He had a name now. Good. He was tired of not having a name.
How did you know my name?
I told you. I'm you.
How?
But the voice stays silent. Jamie sighs, as he realizes he is alone again. Even though he knows it is useless, he calls out.
"Wait! Come back! Don't leave me alone!"
Silence.
"Don't leave me alone."
"Jamie."
The Doctor took oe ste into the room, and the Cyberman's head snapped up. The eyes were black, emotionless. He is suddenly very wary.
"Jamie, it's the Doctor."
"Doctor?" It tilts its head. "I know that name."
"I know you do." Carefully, the Doctor inches forward. He knew what strength Cybermen had, and though that was Jamie in the suit, he had been enhanced into something beyond human. "We're friends."
"Friends?" It questions. It suddenly jerks forward, as if trying to move, but it was tethered to the wall. "I know that word, too."
"Yes. Yes, you should." The Doctor is now standing halfway to the Cyberman, ready to move should it turn violent.
"What does it mean?"
The Doctor nearly laughed aloud. That was such a Jamie thing to do, ask questions about words. "It means...how do I put this?" He sighs, thinking. "It means...I guess, in human terms, it means you would die for someone."
"Oh." It responds, its head back in a straight position. It still sounds confused, though. That was a very Jamie thing to do as well, the Doctor mused. Still being confused about things.
"Jamie? Can I come closer?"
"Yes."
The Doctor takes another few steps forward, until he is just a foot away from the Cyberman. He thinks it has gone to sleep, somehow, until it speaks suddenly. "It's nice. Having someone here."
"You can still feel emotions, then?"
It tilts its head again, and the Doctor answers the question before it can ask it.
"Feelings. Love. Hate. Pride."
"Loneliness?"
The Doctor swallowed. "Yes, I suppose."
"Then I suppose I do." It looks away from the Doctor. "I don't know how long I've been here. Time seems lost in this place."
"It is." the Doctor agrees. A thought suddenly occured to him, one that filled him with dread. "Can you see me?"
It looks back at the Doctor. "All I see is darkness. Like there's a veil preventing me from looking at you."
"Could I...will you let me remove your helmet?"
The Cyberman nods, and the Doctor walks forward. He is standing close to it now, close enough that he could hear the humming coming from the device on its chest. It hit the Doctor suddenly that Jamie might not survive without it. Shaking his head, he reaches up and carefully, gently, unattached the helmet.
The face was still Jamie's, but it was beat up beyond belief. There were scratches and gashes all over the skin and his nose looked like it had been broken. But the worst thing the Doctor saw, was how the Cybermen gouged his eyes out and sloppily tied a piece of cloth over where they used to be. Jamie, it seemed, was unaware of this, and though he couldn't see the Doctor, he grinned happily.
"You came."