But Baby A Light Like Yours Is So Glorious

"She's still really stiff but she's resting now. Before I picked her up, she had arranged for Mary to pick up the kids from school, so it's just the two of us. How are you guy's doing?"

"We'll be heading home from Tahoe soon."

"Does that mean you caught up with him?"

"Yes."

"And you're bringing him back?"

"Yes. Jax asked Quinn to help with that."

"Quinn? WAIT! Does that mean…?"

"I'll fill you in on all the details when we get home."

"Oh… Right… Alright. Ride safe."

"We will."

I hung up the phone and sort of went boneless in my seat. Since he wouldn't go into detail on the phone, I took that as meaning Frankie Diamonds was dead. If Happy was the one who did it, that would be all the better. Sorry, but he shot Layla because he was pissed at the club. That was beyond low and despicable. He deserved some of Happy's creativity for his punishment on this one.

"Was that Jax?"

I turned to look at Layla over the back of the couch answering, "No, it was Happy."

"Oh… Right… right, that makes more sense."

She slowly made her way around the couch to sit down. It almost physically hurt to watch her move right now. She had lucked out that Frankie had shot her in meatiest part of her body. Not that she had a lot of extra meat on her bones at all. The doctor had prescribed bed rest for a couple of days, so I had been playing the role of nursemaid for her after I picked her up at Diosa.

"So…?" She asked as she tried to make herself more comfortable on the couch.

I jumped to my feet to help. She knew not to fight me on anything and just watched as I pulled the coffee table closer to the couch so that I could put a pillow on it to keep her leg elevated. That seemed to take most of the pressure off her wound and really helped her to be able to settle on the couch cushion.

After I was seated again, she gave me an expectant look but didn't say anything else, so I answered, "They found Frankie and… well… he'll never hurt anyone ever again."

"Really?! That's… uhh…"

"You can say that it's a relief. I won't think anything bad about you… Mostly because I feel the exact same way."

"Okay…" She took in a deep breath then added, "Thank God he's gone."

"There you go. Now… How are you? How's the leg feeling today?"

"Sore… Stiff… I don't know if I'm going to be able to stand around at Diosa's opening."

"So, don't."

"Don't? But… But I should be there since I'm the Manager and all."

"I didn't say for you to skip it. I just meant that there has to be a way to keep off your feet but still let you be present during the Grand Opening."

"Oh… Yeah… I guess we might."

"We've still got a couple of days, so don't worry about it now. Are you hungry? I can whip something up for you."

She shook her head then dazedly answer, "Just wanted… a… change of… scenery."

Her answer came through a series of yawns, so I just sat back to watch her. One thing I had learned about her was that pain killers knocked her off her ass just like they did to me. Once she was out, she would sleep like a rock for at least four hours. The position she was in right now didn't look all that comfortable, so the moment I could tell that she was completely out, I picked her up and laid her down across the couch.

Don't ask me why I did it, but I stayed seated on the coffee table and just watched her sleep. We were out of the woods and I didn't have to fear for her safety when I came to Frankie Diamonds, but I couldn't help it. It was kind of like the first night I babysat for Opie and Donna after she had Ellie. It felt like if I didn't have eyes on her while she was sleeping that it left her completely vulnerable and that something bad might happen. Since she was healing form a bullet wound, I felt like that train of thought was more than justified.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

After going out to lunch with Happy at my Grill, I realized how much I missed working there. I missed being teased about everything from my hair cut to my choice of vehicle by Cody. I missed trying out new recipes with Luis to decide on what our next signature flavor would be. Hell, I missed just bullshitting with my customers and just being 'Andie'. I wasn't Piney's daughter or Opie's sister, I was just their server and while they were at my table or bar, I was their best friend.

I always thought that going back to the SOA clubhouse was like going to a safe place, but the Bar and Grill were too. And I had built it… It was mine… along with all of my staff because I would be nowhere without all of them.

"Boss? Is…? Is everything alright?" Cody asked when he saw me in the kitchen tying on an apron.

I smiled at him then answered, "I thought I should come in and pull my weight for those pay cheques I've been receiving."

"And right smack in of the lunch rush…" He hugged me so tight it almost took my breath away. "I knew you were my favorite boss for a reason, Andie."

I leaned back and I knew I was wearing a confused scowl. Cody NEVER used my real name. He ALWAYS called me 'Boss' and it was usually with a teasing tone. Why was he being so earnest right now?

"Cody? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Don't get me wrong, being the boss was more fun than I thought it would be, but we've really missed you. This place isn't the same without you. You… You're the heart and soul of this place, Boss."

"That's sweet, Cody…"

"Sweet, nothing, Boss," he quickly interrupted. "Our regulars, they… they're more at ease when you're around. A lot of them have been worried you're going to sell this place; even thought I keep telling them you LITERALLY had brain surgery. That means we gotta give a lady some time to heal. Not to mention…"

"Then don't mention it. And you're right, I haven't given any thought to selling. Not since… since… David. I just… I guess that I've been trying to find my own heart and soul again after… after that… those things we're not mentioning."

"And have you?"

I shook my head and put on a brave face answering, "I'm still trying. So? Bossman, where do you need me today?"

He rolled his eyes at my teasing but sounded completely earnest when he answered, "I would love to move Chloe behind the bar. She's so much faster filling pints than she is running food. You can take over her station."

"Alright, that… That sounds like a good move. You trained her to be one of our best bartenders for sure. In all honesty, I was surprised to see her here now and not working at the Bar tonight."

"Her mom's been sick so she needed her nights off to be with her. They… her family can only afford a part-time nurse and it's cheaper to have them at the house during the day. Plus, she thought she might get better tips in the dining room."

"Shit. Can…? Can I do anything to help?"

HE shook his head with a half-frown, half-smile on his face. "I already tried. Moving to day shifts is the only thing that she would let me do."

"Yeah, that definitely sounds like Chloe. Here's my two cents… Keep her at the bar during the day. Have her help out the hostess during down times or the hostess' break. That should help to beef up everyone's tips."

"Shit… shit! I hadn't thought of that but it's… fuck that's perfect."

"You would have figured it out eventually. Oh… And Cody? I know I usually put them in the communal jar, but today…"

"They go to Chloe."

I smile and couldn't stop myself from hugging him. "Thank you for everything, Cody. You've been so amazing. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"And I swear you will never have to find out."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Cody said we were right in the middle of the lunch rush, he wasn't joking. He had started advertising some lunch specials that blended into some incredible 'Happy Hour' deals, so I was literally running off my feet. I had never dreamed this place could be this busy when I opened it. Not that I was complaining… much. Okay, fine. I was bitching about how much my feet hurt, but that was it.

Once everything had died down, I retreated to the kitchen to get off my feet for a bit. During the renovations, I had designed an eating area off the kitchen solely for staff. Part of the perks of working for the Buffalo Bar and Grill was that you got a free meal during your shift. Anything form the man, so I really wanted them to have somewhere comfortable to sit and enjoy it during their break times.

I had more than earned this meal and had every intention of savoring it to the very last morsel. I swear that as the only reason that I growled at Cheyenne when she came in announcing, "Boss, there's a group of guys in your section asking to speak with you."

"Did you tell them I'm on my break? Someone else can serve them."

"I did… On both counts. They're actually settling their bill now. But he… one of them is insisting that he needs to talk to you about… uhh… your… umm… your brother."

"My brother? You…? You mean Opie?"

She nodded and startled in her spot when I jumped to my feet. As I passed her, I begrudgingly said, "Feel free to enjoy the beef dip while it's hot."

"I'm so sorry, Boss. I'll ask Luis to make you another one."

"That's okay. I don't know how long it will take and I don't want to waste any food or his time. But thank you."

"Alright. Again… Boss… I'm…"

"So NOT your fault Cheyenne. But I appreciate the sentiment."

When I stepped out of the kitchen, I scanned the dining room quickly. There was no one in a uniform, a generic looking 'Fed' suit or colors that I could see. So…? Who had info on Opie? And what could it be?"

I was just about to turn around to ask Cheyenne what my visitor looked like when someone waved from across the room to get my attention. T.O.? Why…?

As I walked towards his table, the three men he was with got up to make their way to the exit door. As they walked, they pulled on their cuts and suddenly the reason I hadn't noticed them right away became clear. They had removed their cuts and hung them, inside out, on the back of their chairs.

"Hey, T.O. Long time, no see."

He immediately accepted my hug replying, "You're looking good, Andie. Especially after everything you've been through. Short hair definitely suits you."

"Lucky for me since this wasn't my choice… this time."

"Was it another fundraiser?"

I laughed then turned so that he could see the back of my head. "No… Emergency surgery."

"Oh… Right… RIGHT! Sorry, I forgot."

"It's fine. I do too sometimes. So… Cheyenne said you wanted to talk? Why don't you follow me to my office so we can have some privacy?"

"That'd be great. Thanks."

As we walked trough the dining area, I quietly said to him, "You guys can wear your cuts here. There's no dress but 'No shirt, no shoes, no service.' Even then we just give the meal to go on my tab."

"I… uhh… We just figured that with it being neutral ground that we weren't allowed to show our colors."

"Nah, it's fine. I want everyone to be comfortable, so cuts are fine. Although, I guess that I do have another rule. No beefs playing out here. This is a restaurant, not a clubhouse, so wear your cuts if it suits you, but not to prove something to anyone."

"That sounds like a good rule."

"It seems to be working." By this time, we were seated on two chairs in front of my desk. "So? You wanted to tell me something about Opie?"

"Yeah. But more than that I wanted to apologize. I had no idea about my cousin and I'm so sorry for what he did."

"Your cousin? What are you talking about? I don't know any of your family."

At first, T.O. just stared at me with wide eyes, but after a couple of breaths, he looked like he understood something. "They didn't tell you."

"Who didn't tell me what?"

"Jax or Chibs. They didn't tell you about tracking down my cousin to get retribution for what happened to your brother?"

"To get…? Oh… shit… They…? Uhh… Because he…?"

T.O. nodded then quietly answered, "Yes… And honestly Andie I had no idea Randy had anything to do with it. If I did…"

"OH! T.O.! You don't have to…" I lunged forward to hug him saying, "But I do appreciate you coming by to apologize. I know you and the Basterds had nothing to do with… what happened in Stockton. I'll talk to Jax and make sure the MC understand that too."

"You don't need to do that. We… We've come to an understanding, so things are… are… fine between us."

"Okay… good. Because I know that with our history together that you would never hurt my family on purpose. I don't want this to cause a rift between the two clubs. You have been too good of friends for it to end like this."

"And I swear it won't. But I just wanted to make sure you and I…"

"Oh my God! Of course, we're fine T.O. You know I would NEVER blame you for someone else's actions."

He hugged me again replying, "Thanks, Andie. That's a relief to hear."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Happy got home, he found me sitting on the couch in the living room staring at nothing. I'm sure that the first thing he noticed was the two duffle bags that were on the floor by my feet. I had debated where to put them and finally decided having them anywhere else would look like I was hiding them. I wanted to make clear that I had a clear hand and was confident in my decision.

"Something you need to tell me, Andie?"

I nodded replying, "I do. Could…? Please sit down."

He eased himself into the chair I had motioned to but he didn't take his eyes off my bags. Okay, now I wished I hadn't left them out on such prominent display. Maybe they were sending the wrong message.

STAY ON POINT!

"T.O. stopped by my restaurant today…"

"Did he hurt you?" I shook my head prompting him to worriedly ask, "Did he threaten you?"

"NO!" I answered with a firm tone but coated in a bemused chuckle. "He came by to apologize."

"And him apologizing made you angry with me?"

"I'm not angry with you… or the club. I'm… I'm confused and annoyed."

"Alright. Why would finding out that man who killed your brother is dead annoy and or confuse you?"

I took in a deep breath and forced myself to keep my voice as calm as possible. "I thought I knew how the MC worked and why certain decisions were made but now… now… Now I don't feel like I understand anything at all, especially about SAMCRO. You guys called in favors and did everything in your power to find the guys that ran Jax and Chibs off the road to kill him… and now you've done the same thing for Opie…"

"That's what we do when someone hurts anyone from the club."

"I know but I guess I don't… I don't understand why it happens for some people but not others."

He scowled then said, "Now I'm a little confused."

Fuck… fuck, fuck, fuck. "Okay… I'll… I'll try to spell it out…" I took in a couple of long, slow breaths to try to keep myself from screaming at him. "Alright… The man who shot Donna still sits beside you at the table in your chapel. And… the man who shot and MURDERED my dad and did THIS to me (I pointed to the back of my head) still has a seat at that very same table. Donna was an innocent… she NEVER hurt anyone from SAMCRO and Dad… Okay not so innocent but he was… he's 'First Nine'… Why don't their deaths warrant the full vengeance from the club?"

"I… I…" He actually paused to give the question some thought then answered meekly, "I don't know."

"And I didn't expect that you would. But I needed to let you know what I'm feeling and thinking so that I can try to explain to you what I need to do next."

"What you need to do?" His eyes flicked from the bags to my face and back a few times as he asked, "Are…? Are you moving out?"

"Not exactly."

"Not exactly…"

I saw the movement of his jaw that made it look like he was clenching his teeth. When he spoke next it was a quiet, controlled voice that caused a cold shiver to run down my spine, "Then what exactly IS this?"

"I… I need to get away for a bit so I can… So, I can find my center again. I thought… fuck… Okay… Every time I think I've found it something knocks me off center again…" I paused to sniffle in a breath but tried to keep my voice even as I continued. "I've lost… I'm… I'm losing everyone that I love… Donna… Dad… David… Now Opie. They've all been STOLEN form me… I HAVE to get away before I start to resent this town… the club… or… or… Or you because I… I can't… I can't ever let that happen."

When I paused there to stifle a sob and blow my nose, Happy turned his devasted eyes to my face as he hoarsely questioned, "Why?"

I finally made eye contact with him replying with a huge lump in my throat, "Because I LOVE you… I mean… I'm IN love with you. I'm… I really didn't want to tell you this way, but I… I need to be honest with you. I love you so much, but… and even though I do, I can't stay right now. I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, but I can't."

"I… I understand," he replied in a surprisingly reassuring tone. "How long will you be away?"

"I don't know. Hopefully it won't take that long."

"Where…? Where will you go?"

"Honestly? I haven't planned that far ahead. Maybe up North… Y'know… Check out Alaska?"

"Fair enough. So? If you love me… Does that me you don't want to call us quits?"

"No," I replied with a soft sob. "But I'm not the only one who is in this relationship. If you don't want to wait it out to figure out how you feel about me and want to end it now, I'll pack the rest of my stuff and be out of your life completely. Just say the word."

"Figure out how I feel? I already know how I feel." I just stared at him so he continued, "I love you, Andie. I knew it when you came to the clubhouse and asked if you could move home. When you ran into my arms… the look on your face… I knew it then."

"You did?"

"Yes, so I don't want you gone."

I ran over to him and kissed him. When I tried to rehearse this conversation in my head, that most definitely was NOT one of the responses I pictured receiving.

"I love you so much, Happy."

"I love you too, Andie." He pulled me down to sit on his lap as he said it. I immediately snuggled into his chest and tucked myself under his chin. "So? What are the ground rules while you're away?"

"Same as when you're on a run. Giving or getting head isn't cheating. As soon as lips touch anything above the waist, especially if it's a skank's mouth, that's cheating and we're through."

"Alright, fair enough. And phone calls? Am I allowed to talk to you when you're on your vision quest?"

I let out a tear-filled chuckle then sat up to kiss him before replying, "I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from calling you. But you don't have to answer… I'll understand if you don't."

He completely ignored my self-deprecating comment to ask, "Do you want updates? I mean about the MC. Or would that delay you from finding your center?"

"I… I don't… Honestly, I don't know. Ye… Yes… I think that I do. Especially so I know that you're okay."

"That I can do."

We sat there for a few minutes in silence after that. I don't know what Happy was thinking but I couldn't get enough of hearing the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. After Kip's wake, I never thought I would tell anyone new in my life that I loved them because it felt like it came with an automatic death warrant. And I was sick of the Reaper claiming his bounty on the people I care the most about.

But now I had said those words to Happy. Here's hoping I hadn't signed his death warrant and that he would meet the same fate as so many others in my life. But if he did… Well… I couldn't bare to watch his demise… So, that was another good reason for me to take some time away. If the universe decided to stomp on my heart again, at least I wouldn't have to be around to be an eyewitness to it.

"When will you leave?" He whispered against my head.

I rubbed some soft circles on his chest to try to sooth him as I answered, "I thought I would right after this conversation because I… I didn't think it would end like this…" I sat up and kissed him then added, "But now that we've finally told each other how we feel… Please… please just make love to me Happy. Let me show you how much I love you while you show me the same."

"Your wish is my command, Princess."

He then kissed me deeply and picked me up to carry me to our bedroom

THE END… for now.