I stared at the whiteboard, not seeing what Mr. Banner was scribbling about. Something about the Krebs Cycle.

I shifted so that my cheek was smushed against my fist. Angela had been super supportive of my outburst the other day. So supportive that she had skipped practice and went down to the station to tell Charlie what had happened. After that, nothing was the same.

Charlie was uncomfortable with what to do and didn't want to get Renee involved. She had fallen into one of her depressive episodes again, wrapping herself in a thick blanket and staring at a blank space on the wall. We barely managed to coax a couple of spoonfuls of soup into her. She had fought hard to not eat. For the past couple of days, I decided to wear long sleeves to cover the bruises she had inflicted in her rage.

Charlie had cornered me at breakfast one day.

"Bells." He said gruffly.

I didn't bother to answer, swirling my coffee around in my mug. Angela had given me a heads up and even though I wasn't happy about it, I understood. As a friend, what else was she supposed to do?

"Bells." He repeated, this time his tone firm.

I looked up. The circles under his eyes were a deep purple and his uniform was wrinkled. His hair was disheveled, and even his mustache was unkempt. Shame poured through me. I hated that this was happening to him and that I wasn't helping. I hated that both of the women in his life couldn't keep it together.

He held his hands out on the table. The universal sign of surrender.

"Something has to change, Bells. I-I can't keep doing this. With your mom's mood swings and your dreams, there has to be something we do differently." He rasped haggardly.

My heart broke for him. He was doing his absolute best and I wish that I was normal, that I didn't see this- HIS- shadow everywhere.

"I'm getting Renee help."

My gaze shot up to him. His lips pressed into a thin line at my bewildered expression. "She's been needing it for a while. We can't keep lying to ourselves."

"So we institutionalize her?"

"Don't...don't think of it like that." Charlie raked his fingers through his hair.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "How else am I supposed to take it? She's going to be away from us, where we can't take care of her, where we can't see her, where-"

"We can't take care of her right now." Charlie interrupted firmly.

I felt pressure start to curve at my chest, restricting my breathing. My nails began to pick the skin on my wrist, pulling and leaving scratch marks. I pulled my hands under the table to hide them from view. I stared at the grooves in the table. "I can do more." My voice was barely above a whisper.

Charlie's face contorted in pain. "Bells-"

"No, I can stop basketball, I can make sure she eats and get more time outside, and, and-"

A large hand came down on my shoulder. I looked up through the blur of tears to see Charlie's face had twin tear streaks going down his cheeks. I gasped, struggling to take a breath. I wrapped my arms around his soft waist and buried my face into his shirt, letting it absorb my sobs. Charlie flinched, hesitating before wrapping his arms around me tightly. He sobbed softly with me. We stayed at that moment, grieving what we were about to lose.

Charlie took a deep breath and took a half step back. His uniform had a circular wet spot. I sniffled, trying to control my sobs. Charlie quickly wiped his tears by swiping his thumb and index finger under each eye. "Bells, it's the right thing to do. I've already called Dr. Cooper at Genesis Hospital. He's coming by around noon."

I painfully swallowed past the lump in my throat, nodding. I looked at the clock above the counter to see that I was already late for school.

"Stay." Charlie cleared his throat. "Take the day off school. Use the rest of your day to...say goodbye."

I nodded, numbly getting to my feet and shuffling to Renee's room.

She was in the same position that I had left her in last night. The checkered blanket was wrapped around her tightly, the only motion that came from her was the soft breaths. I pressed my hand onto the other side of the bed, testing to see if she would stir.

She didn't respond. I climbed carefully into bed and curled into the curve of her back. Heat came off her in waves, I placed my forehead on the back of her neck, trying my hardest to choke back tears.

I sat in front of my laptop, staring at the blank search bar. Over the years I had pored over pages upon pages of literature about Death. I had done more research on the subject, more than any paper that I had done in school. Everybody had different ideas of what he looked like or how he appeared. There were people that said that they would see him. Eventually, I would stop reading their accounts because they stopped making sense to me. They would paint him as cruel and unfeeling as he took lives.

I knew better. I had seen him all my life and he was none of those things.

The empathy he held in the way he carried himself. I knew that he was so much more than what he was doing. Or if he was following a natural order to everything, or if he was just following orders from someone, I didn't know. What I did know is that I wanted to find out. I wanted to get to know him.

Heat flooded my cheeks remembering the way his fingers ghosted my cheek.

I shook my head, trying to keep my mind on track.

This pending search wasn't me trying to get information on him. No, I thought to myself, placing my hands on the keyboard. This next search was to find out the consequences of what I had just done.

I typed away and started my research.

I had told him to not take Angela. My heart ached at the thought of living my life without her by my side. She was sometimes a pain with how she pushed me, but I knew I would never have a more loyal friend by my side.

I didn't exactly cheat Death, but I had ordered him away.

The hair on the back of my neck stood on end, thinking of the warning that was in his emerald eyes. He was trying to tell me something. Tell me that he HAD to do it. I slouched back, blowing my hair out of my face. I didn't like what I was reading.

A lot of it was on the 7 Stages of Grief, which was useless in every sense. And then there were a couple of articles that talked about an equivalent exchange. If I had bargained for Angela's life, the death had to come from somewhere in order to balance out the universe. I chewed on my lip. This wasn't good. What if I had sentenced an innocent person to their untimely death in my selfish endeavor to keep Angela with me? Granted, Angela was also innocent as far as I knew, but how could I order the Death of someone I didn't know?

More importantly, how did I order him away in the first place?

My eyes traveled to a small wooden frame that was on my bedside table. It was a picture of Renee and me on my 15th birthday. We had gone to a picnic at Olympic National Park. The water had been crystal clear and the air was crisp that day. Renee had made little sandwiches with apple slices that were cut to look like bunny rabbits. Both of us were laying out on the checkered blanket, laughing at something Charlie had said. Her smile was radiant, the warmth of that day coming out through the photo.

I pressed two fingers to my lips before placing my fingers to the photo. I missed her so much.

Sighing, I closed my laptop and turned my light out. Sleep crept on the edge of my subconsciousness easily enough, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was coming. Something bigger than I could anticipate.

A/N: Review!