Before they entered the chamber, his mother turned to him and looked him directly in the eye.
"Show no discomfiture, Albus," she commanded. "We have done nothing to be ashamed of. Unseemly displays of emotion would only reflect badly on our family."
Albus had seen her crying just over an hour ago. It had surprised him, being one of the very few times he had seen her cry. Now, however, they were in the Ministry building, and Kendra Dumbledore was proper, composed and cold as a statue. She would never let her feelings get the best of her in public.
"But Father will be convicted, won't he," Albus whispered.
She nodded curtly. "Yes, but there is no reason to carry on in front of all these people. There is a time and place for everything. A time to weep and a time to be strong. Your father is a proud man, and he wants us to be strong for him today. When we walk into that chamber you will hold your head high and meet the gaze of anyone who looks at you with steadiness."
Albus nodded, staring at his feet. He wasn't sure how he could meet the gaze of the whole Wizengamot and the members of the audience, when he couldn't even look his own mother in the eye.
At a curt gesture from his mother, an usher opened the door into the dungeon. Kendra Dumbledore clasped her hands and walked steadily through the doorway, her bearing proud and erect, her eldest son trailing behind her. As the pair of them entered, a brief hush fell over the room, followed by a renewed flurry of whisperings.
Albus risked a glance upwards and saw that it was as he'd feared: all eyes were upon them. He hated them with a passion, all the staring, gossiping vultures who had gathered to watch his family being ripped apart. Nothing gave them more perverted smugness, more self-righteous satisfaction, than to watch a respectable man like his father fall amid scandal and ignominy. Trying to keep his head up as his mother had instructed, he followed her to a bench in the front row, directly behind the prisoner's chair.
Another door opened and Percival Dumbledore was escorted into the room between two Dementors, who placed him in the seat. The restraining chains glowed golden and sprang to life, binding him to the chair. He seemed to have aged a great deal in the three days since Albus had last seen him. His face was haggard and lined, his body slumped, his once twinkling blue eyes dull and blank. He hardly seemed like the kind, energetic man Albus had always known and looked up to. For that matter, the father Albus knew would not have attacked three Muggle boys.
The Chief Warlock rose and began to speak, his words washing over Albus, until he arrived at the part Albus had been dreading.
"The Wizengamot has convened this day to render its verdict on crimes of the most severe character," he proclaimed. "The accused, Percival Dumbledore, is charged with three counts of murder, six counts of usage of an Unforgivable Curse on a human being, three counts of inflicting grievous bodily harm, and one count of flagrant violation of the International Statute for Wizarding Secrecy."
What an horrible litany of crimes. Was this how the world would remember his father? Albus wanted to tell them that they'd gotten his father all wrong. He wasn't a criminal. In his mind, Albus made his own list of Percival Dumbledore's deeds: one count of being a good husband, three counts of being a loving father, three counts of teaching his children to ride broomsticks, one count of being a renowned scholar, two counts of taking his sons for long walks in the country to study interesting specimens…
This couldn't be happening. It was just a nightmare. Soon Albus would wake up and go downstairs to see his parents sitting by the fireplace. He would stand awkwardly in the doorway until his father rustled his newspaper and said, 'Come here, tiger.' Then Albus would go and sit by his father's side and curl up, while listening to a story about the time Percival Dumbledore had fought a basilisk, or wrestled a yeti, or rode a dragon. Then his mother would shake her head and look at his father with exasperation, and a kind of tenderness in her eyes that she showed to no one else. And Albus would know that all was well.
A man like that didn't deserve to go to Azkaban.
"The members of the Wizengamot have unanimously found the accused guilty of all charges. The sentence shall be five consecutive terms of life imprisonment, commencing immediately."
Albus sat motionless, feeling like someone had reached inside him and snapped his heart in two. He was aware of a tidal wave of muttering rippling over the dungeon, but he could barely hear it over the dull roaring in his head.
The Dementors swept back into the room and took Percival Dumbledore away. Before he left, he turned his head to stare right at his family.
'I'm sorry,' he mouthed, before he vanished through the door. Albus couldn't tell whether that was meant for him or his mother, or for both of them.
"Dry your eyes, Albus," said his mother. She produced a handkerchief from one of her pockets and wiped Albus' cheeks clean.
"I'm sorry, Mother," Albus said.
"You will have to be strong now, Albus, for my sake and for the sake of your brother and sister. You will have to grow up faster than before. I will require your help to keep this family together. You are the man of the house now. "
Albus nodded.
He was ten years old.
Albus opened his eyes.
"Mother?" he said.
The first thing he knew was that he hurt: a dull, throbbing ache in his left forearm, and a sharper knife-like pain in his right shoulder. The second thing he realised was that he was lying on a hard surface staring at the ceiling of the dining room.
"No," said Aberforth from somewhere nearby. "But we'll have to do."
Albus twisted his head and saw his brother's face, wearing a look of concern rather than its usual scowl.
"Aberforth?" Albus said. "What… oh, gods." In a rush, it all came back to him: the dark forest, the cabin, the dead walkers, Elke and Gellert. "Gellert!" Albus sat up. Immediately, his head swam, pain sliced through his body and bile rose in his throat. He squeezed his eyes shut and covered his mouth with his hand.
"What are you doing?" Aberforth said. "You need rest."
Slowly, Albus eased himself off the dining table. "Did you patch me up?" he asked Aberforth. "Dittany, judging by the smell. Thank you, but I have to dash. I need to check on someone."
"Wait." Aberforth moved to block Albus' path. "You're not going anywhere. Not until you tell me what in blazes is going on."
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," said Albus. "Please move. I need to - "
"Check on someone," Aberforth interrupted. "Right. Gellert Grindelwald. But before you do, do you mind explaining why we found you lying unconscious on the doorstep, covered in blood and vomit, with a broken arm, and mincemeat where your shoulder used to be? Where the hell have you been, and what have you been doing?"
"I was… I was playing Quidditch, all right? And I fell and injured myself. And I don't have to answer to you, so kindly get out of my way. "
Albus pushed past his brother, practically ran through the hallway and made it to the front door. He had to lean against the door frame for a few seconds because of the pounding in his head and shoulder, but the thought of Gellert in the cabin with the Inferi propelled him out onto the street.
Please, please let Gellert be OK, he prayed desperately, not to any god in particular, but to the universe in general. If anything happened to Gellert, Albus didn't know what he would do. How long had Albus been unconscious for? Where would Gellert be now? Would Albus have to Apparate back to the woods in Sachsen to look for him?
Albus steeled himself. Much as he hated the thought of going back into that forest of death, he would do it to know that Gellert was safe. First, however, he would check Bathilda's house.
"Albus."
Albus spun around. Gellert was standing behind him, his arms crossed.
"Gellert!" Albus felt a surge of intense relief. A broad smile plastering itself across his face, he ran to Gellert and threw his arms around him.
"I'm so glad you're safe," he murmured, his head resting against Gellert's shoulder. After a few seconds he became embarrassed at his boldness and tried to retreat, but Gellert held onto him.
"You are injured," Gellert said, his fingers brushing against the bandages tied at Albus' arm and shoulder.
"Merely a few scratches." Albus was caught between excitement and fear at Gellert's touch. The last time he had been this close to Gellert, Gellert had recoiled from him and called him a queer. He could still hear the word echoing in his memory. It sounded like kveer, the way Gellert said it.
"Because of me. I'm sorry, Albus. I never intended for you to be hurt." There was a strangely troubled look on Gellert's face. He had a distant, preoccupied air about him, instead of his usual intense focus.
"I know." Albus frowned. "What happened to Elke?" he asked urgently. "I hope she's all right. I wouldn't have survived if it weren't for her."
"Do not worry about Elke. I took care of her. Come, let us take a walk."
Gellert slid his right arm through Albus' left.
Albus hesitated. "To be honest, Gellert, I don't feel up to walking very far."
"Then we shall not go far."
Still Albus refused to move. "What's this about? Forgive me for having reservations, but the last time I went walking with you, I almost died."
"I promise you, this time we shall only talk. Something is disturbing me."
Reluctantly, Albus gave in and allowed Gellert to lead him through the village. They walked in silence for several minutes, until they left the houses behind and came upon the rolling meadows on the outskirts of Godric's Hollow. Gellert cut into an empty field and pulled Albus down beside him on the grass, behind a hedge that would screen them from the view of anyone on the lane.
The field was spotted with wildflowers and spangled with drops of dew, glistening in the morning sun. Overhead the sky was a soft pastel blue, unblemished by clouds but for a few lazy wisps drifting here and there. Birds chirruped somewhere nearby, and occasionally a soft breeze would rustle the blades of grass and the leaves of the hedge, bringing the sweet mingled fragrances of grasses, herbs and flowers to their noses. Bees and beetles droned busily from bloom to bloom, dusting themselves in pollen, zipping through the air in flashes of jewel-bright colour. The whole land was filled with light and life, the very opposite of the dark forest they had left behind. The events of a few hours ago seemed like just a bad dream now.
Being alone with Gellert and so close to him made Albus feel deliciously weak, but he reminded himself not to let his guard down. Gellert was dangerous. It was hard to bear that in mind when he was so damned handsome and charming.
"You are lucky to live here," Gellert said. "It is beautiful. I was raised in a dark and sad country."
Concerned, Albus looked sidelong at Gellert. The blond boy's gaze was lowered, an unfamiliar emotion clouding his eyes.
"What do you mean?" Albus asked. Seeing Gellert so uncharacteristically melancholy, he felt a sudden urge to take Gellert's hand, but he lacked the courage.
"Sometimes I think you Britons are lucky. Your country is on an island, separated from all the troubles and problems of the rest of Europe. People here are cheerful and optimistic about the future. Your country is being developed, industry and trade are flourishing, science is advancing. Your government is a democracy and wealth is spreading to the common folk. When I walk in the streets, people look happy. They enjoy life.
"Things were very different in Germany when I was growing up. The German people were divided into different states, each ruled by selfish princes who cared only for themselves. Different powers and empires were always going to war, fighting for new territories: Prussia, Austria, the Turks, the Slavs, and all the rest of them. No one was safe from the greed of kings and czars. It was always the poor who suffered in wartime. While the tiny amount of rich and royalty lived in their golden palaces and mansions, the masses of people were too poor to afford basic necessities.
"The spirits of the German people have been worn down and broken by cunning and political manipulation. But slowly, Prussia took control of more and more territories, uniting all the Germans except for Austria. And now the German wizards are waiting for a new pride and purpose, to unite and reclaim their birthright as the leaders of European culture." Gellert paused and looked up at the sky, as if seeing the shining future that existed in his imagination. "When corruption is destroyed, and the traitorous Muggles are driven out of our government, and the true power of magic is unveiled, then Germany will enjoy a new golden age of peace and prosperity, a perfect society that will be the envy of all Europe."
There was a brief silence.
"That was a stirring speech," Albus said. "You seem to have a talent for speaking. With your power to inspire people, you should consider a career in politics. I'm not even German, and I feel like helping you build your German utopia."
Without replying, Gellert heaved a sigh and flung himself down on the grass. Lying on his stomach, he rested his chin on his hands.
Albus felt his eyes stray to Gellert's outstretched body, his gaze first drawn to Gellert's hair (shining like gold Galleons in the sun, brighter than wheat but darker than buttercups), resting briefly on Gellert's shoulders (broad and powerfully built), slipping down Gellert's back to linger guiltily on his buttocks (two divine curves swelling against the fabric of his robe) before finishing its perverted wanderings on Gellert's legs (strong and very nice-looking, not at all like the scrawny chicken legs Albus had).
Albus wondered what it would feel like to have Gellert's body lying against his. The grass beneath Gellert was sadly unable to appreciate just how fortunate it was. Perhaps if Albus Transfigured himself into a blade of grass… It wouldn't be a very good life, being at the mercy of the elements, in danger of being eaten by any passing cow, and shrivelling up and dying when winter came. But if someone like Gellert came along and lay down in a field once in a while, that would make life as a blade of grass worth living, a thousand times over.
Suddenly embarrassed, Albus blushed. What's wrong with me? he wondered guiltily. I'm starting to think like a sexual deviant. At this rate, I'll turn into a dirty old man like Uncle Timothy, who whistles at anything in a skirt.
Forcing his eyes away from Gellert's body (they kept trying to sneak back), Albus slowly eased himself down on the grass beside the object of his infatuation.
"Is something wrong, Gellert?" he asked. "You seem a little run down this morning." Inside, a small part of his mind was watching Gellert and thinking, If Michelangelo or Leonardo da Vinci had seen you, they would have slit their throats in despair, knowing they would never be able to capture your perfection by their art. And that's merely your body. What stone or canvas could hold the wild, angry soul that lives inside you? Only God's magnum opus, the Earth, holds a candle to your beauty. Your hair is sunlight on waving fields of wheat, your eyes are two sapphires torn from the entrails of the world, or the blue of the sky caught in a crystal clear pool of water. Your skin is smooth cream churned with a hint of gold.
I think the gods must have been drunk on the day they made your body, because they forgot that they were making a lowly human, and they put too much of their own divine nature into you. The rest of us are mere mortals made of dust, and to dust we shall return. But you are made of something purer, something otherworldly, the stuff of angels. The stamp of God's handiwork, his superior craftsmanship, is on every inch of you. I think you were spun from stardust, woven with moonlight and forged in the fires of the sun. And that's just your body.
When they were making your soul, they put in the fury of the tempest, the wildness of the gale, the wanderlust of lightning, the danger of the darkest woods, the mystery of night. The gods put all their rage and pain and courage and power into you and unleashed you on an unsuspecting world. I wonder what would happen if you were to give free rein to all the might and magic seething inside you. I bet Heaven and Earth would tremble in fear, and it would be beautiful and terrible to watch. I want to be by your side when you tear down the world and remake it in your image.
When I'm with you, I lose myself. Your personality overwhelms me, washes away my thoughts, overpowers my spirit, shakes me to the core of my soul. I don't know who I am any more. When I'm with you, I could be anyone or anything. It frightens me, yet I'm excited… there's so much I don't know about life, about love. I thought I could learn everything I needed to know from books, but the more time I spend with you, the more I learn about myself, things I never knew before. I must find out more. I have to know, what grand adventures lie before us?
Gellert propped his head on his right arm. "I have been thinking," he said. "About life… and death." His eyes sought Albus'. "I am afraid."
Albus blinked. Whatever he'd been expecting, it hadn't been an admission of fear. From what he'd seen so far, Gellert didn't appear to be afraid of anything.
"Afraid of what?" Albus asked.
"Of failure," Gellert said. "What if I never become Master of Death? What if it is all just a vain, foolish exercise? Since I was a little boy, I believed I could do anything I thought in my mind. There was no spell or feat of magic I could not achieve. I studied every branch of sorcery, even those forbidden by my foolish teachers. Each time I encountered problems or challenges, I was able to solve them. But then I read about how no wizard had conquered death, how no spell could wake the dead. And I wondered, if death is final, what is the point of our lives? Surely this problem has a solution like any other."
Albus asked, "Why did you start thinking about death from such a young age? Did something happen, someone in your family pass away? Forgive me for asking such a personal question."
"Ask me whatever you wish, Albus," Gellert said. "We are friends. I keep no secrets from you."
Albus felt a frisson of pleasure. Are we only friends? Could we be something more? He remembered that day in the churchyard, the feeling of Gellert's lips on his. He had been so full of hope that day. He had thought that Gellert was the most wonderful person he had ever met, not knowing then that Gellert was not all sweetness and light.
Gellert said, "When I was a little boy, I had a sister called Anna who was very sick all the time. She almost died during her birth, and after that Death would not leave her alone. My parents were always worried about her, so they did not have any time for me. Although they had little money, they spent a great deal on potions and Healers to make Anna better. But none of it worked." Gellert plucked a few blades of grass and rolled them between his fingers absentmindedly. "One day Anna died, and my father died soon after from grief. So my mother and I were all alone. It made me angry. Always before, I had been able to defeat my enemies. But I could not stop Death. It took away people I cared for. And I knew one day it would come for me too."
Gellert met Albus' gaze, his eyes softer, more subdued than usual. "I felt especially guilty because I never did like Anna. I resented her. My parents made me to look after her, and I hated being stuck with her all the time. Sometimes I even wished for her to be dead."
Albus was stunned. "You're just like me, Gellert. Death marked my family since I was young, too. It took both my parents, stole my childhood. And truth be told… " he hesitated, feeling guilty. "I sometimes resent having to look after Aberforth and Ariana. If it weren't for them…" I would be travelling around the world with Elphias. And I never would have met you. I suppose I should thank them for that, then.
Gellert moved closer to Albus. "Yes, you and I are very similar in some ways. But different in others. You are fascinating, Albus."
"Fascinating? Really? How so?"
"You are the first person I have met who is as powerful as I am. But I wonder why you do not use your power to its fullest. At first I thought you might have been a coward, but then I saw the way you fought the Inferi in the cabin, and I knew that you had courage. You are a quick thinker and you use spells effectively. So I wonder, what is holding you back? Do you know something that I do not? Perhaps I am missing something I need to complete my studies. I am curious to know what is inside your mind."
Gellert's face was right beside Albus' now. Albus could feel Gellert's warm breath on his cheek. He looked into Gellert's eyes, but he found that he couldn't read them. If the eyes were the window to the soul, then Gellert's soul was hidden from the outside world by walls of cold blue steel.
Albus said, "I don't know that what's in my mind is so special, really."
"Oh, but it is," Gellert said. "The wand knows the wizard. I have been having strange dreams of you, Albus."
"Dreams? What kind of dreams?"
"You have had them too, have you not? Dreams of me."
With a sick feeling, Albus remembered the disturbing visions that had haunted him since the day he'd visited the temple with Gellert.
"What did you do to me?" he said, his eyes boring into Gellert's.
"It was not I alone. You let me in. Our thoughts are intertwining because we are close to each other. The power inside you recognises the power inside me. We are of one kind."
"I don't understand."
"Tell me, Albus. What is holding you back?"
"Magic is dangerous." In his mind's eye, Albus saw the dungeon, his father disappearing behind the door between two Dementors. "Magic has to be controlled, studied with detachment. You can't just rush into it. You can't just give in to your feelings, because someone could be hurt. Magic is dangerous."
"Yes," said Gellert. "This is what makes it exciting." With his hand, he swept back a few strands of Albus' hair, tucking them behind his ear. His fingers gently brushed against Albus' cheek. "You are quite handsome, Albus. You look a bit like a girl." His thumb traced Albus' jawline. "Perhaps you should give in to your feelings once in a while."
Albus closed his eyes and shuddered at Gellert's touch. "No. My family has strong magic and strong emotions. Not a good combination. We have to stay in control, otherwise it overwhelms us. I can't afford to make a mistake. I need to stay in control all the time. My family depends on me. I have to look after Aberforth and Ariana."
"And who looks after you, Albus?"
"No one. I take care of myself."
"So do I. I always rely on myself. But I find it is lonely sometimes, yes?"
"Yes," said Albus. He opened his eyes, saw Gellert's beautiful face so close to his that it made his heart ache. "What do you know about loneliness, Gellert?" he said bitterly. "You have Elke, and gods know how many other girlfriends in Germany. And all the girls in Godric's Hollow are mad about you. You have people throwing themselves at you wherever you go. You'll never understand what it's like to be me." Albus felt tears prick his eyes and a lump form in his throat.
"You are wrong, Albus. I am as alone as you are. It is true, many girls have touched my body. But none of them have touched my soul. All they are good for is fucking. They would never understand me. They have no intelligence, no magic, no power, nothing."
The tears overflowed Albus' eyes and wended down his cheeks. "You expect me to believe that? That you never felt anything for them? I saw the way Elke looked at you!" It came out sounding like an accusation. Albus hadn't meant to sound so jealous.
Gellert snorted. "Is that bothering you? Elke? Of course she was mad about me, but I never felt anything for her. All I did was fuck her a few times. You think I loved any of those girls? There are no girls worthy of my love. All they have of use is a pair of tits and a cunt. They have nothing else that interests me. They are stupid, gullible, weak, vain and childish. To get them into bed, you simply have to tell them flattering lies, and afterwards they cry and bitch about how you do not love them. To be honest, I cannot stand them."
Gellert shook his head. "To love is a position of weakness, to make yourself vulnerable, to put yourself in the power of another person. How could I fall in love with a woman? I would never put myself in the power of the inferior sex. All of them are not worthy of me."
"You mustn't speak that way," said Albus. "Elke really cares about you. You have no right to speak about her with such disrespect."
"Oh? I am merely speaking the truth. I am sorry, I forgot about your soft heart. I know how the truth offends you."
"The truth doesn't offend me. Only your version of it, because it is devoid of the milk of human kindness."
"You have a large vocabulary, Albus. I suppose you are knowledgeable in the language of the brain, but you know nothing about the language of the heart and the body."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I have noticed that you spend all your time thinking and studying. I suppose it helps you to ignore what you are feeling."
"I don't ignore what I'm feeling. In fact I'm very in touch with my feelings. Provided they are proper."
"Oh? Then tell me what you are feeling right now."
"I…" Albus hesitated.
Gellert smirked. "You see? You are afraid to be honest about your feelings. You are afraid, because deep down you know that you are just like me."
"That's not true! I'm nothing like you."
"Are you not? Did you not just say that you resented your brother and sister? Isn't true that you wish you did not have to look after them?"
"Well, yes, maybe I have those thoughts sometimes. But unlike you, I actually care about people. I would never claim to love someone and then abuse them behind their back. And I care about my family. I have a duty to them."
"Why?"
"I don't know. I suppose… because I love them."
"Why?"
"Because they're my family."
"Is that why? Is that reason good enough? I have met your brother and sister, and they don't have your power or your brilliance. Why should they be worthy of your love?"
"You don't love people because of power!" Albus exclaimed. "That's a terrible reason to love someone."
"Is it? Is your reason better? You love someone just because they're born in your family, which is pure chance. Would you love your brother if he was a mass murderer?"
"Well… I don't know. Yes, probably. You have to love your family, don't you? Otherwise you don't have anyone."
There was a brief pause.
"You have me," Gellert said. He slid on top of Albus, his body pressing Albus' into the grass.
"What are you doing?" Albus asked. The feeling of Gellert's body against his almost drove him mad with longing.
"Albus, I once thought your soft heart as a weakness, but now I am wondering whether there are some things from you I have to learn. And perhaps you could learn from me."
Gellert's fingers stroked Albus' hair, his breath hot on Albus' neck. His chin, slightly rough with light stubble, rubbed against Albus' cheek. His arms slid around Albus, enfolding him in a warm embrace, pinning his arms to his sides.
"Be honest to your feelings," Gellert murmured in Albus' ear. "If we are so different, why do you feel attraction for me?"
"I – I don't know what you mean," Albus spluttered.
"A lie. You saw how Elke looked at me? Well, I have seen how you look at me."
Am I really that obvious? Albus wondered. Was it so easy for Gellert to read me? I've never been very good at hiding my emotions. I wish I were as inscrutable as Gellert.
Albus felt Gellert's lips on the back of his neck, Gellert's broad chest pressing on his back, the warm weight of Gellert's body crushing him into the sweet grass. The breath was being driven out of his lungs, yet he wanted to stay in Gellert's arms forever. Even if he suffocated, it would be worth it.
"Perhaps I did feel something for you in the beginning," said Albus, "but I'm not sure I do any more. You punched me and called me a queer. You led me into a death trap. You seem to think that it's fun to recklessly put yourself in danger. And listening to the way you speak about Elke and those other girls who were foolish enough to trust you, you seem hard-hearted and incapable of loving anyone. You don't even care about me at all. You just think my powers will be useful to you."
"That is not true. I do care about you, Albus, in a way I have not cared about anyone before. You see, there is something different about you. A mystery."
"I bet that's what you said to Elke. And all those other girls, too."
"Yes, but I was lying to them. They were weak, shallow and simple to understand. You are complicated. There is much going on inside you that is strange to me. I can see there is hidden strength here. There are layers in you which I have yet to… penetrate. I am always curious for new experiences, and I like a challenge."
"Is that all I am to you?" Albus said bitterly. "Another puzzle, a challenge to solve? A new experience, like learning a new spell or riding a new broomstick? Another notch to add to your belt? Can you even see other people as people? Is there room in your world-view for anybody else's feelings? I'm a person, not an obstacle course, or a new toy. Can't you see that?"
Gellert laughed in Albus' ear. "This is why I like you, Albus," he said. "You are cute when you try to be angry. And you are brave to stand up to me, which not many people can do. Yes, maybe I am sometimes a bit selfish. Growing up, I was mostly alone. I did not have a close family like you, so maybe I have difficulty knowing how to be considerate of other people. Perhaps you can teach me." He chuckled. "My great-aunt has a very high opinion of you. She thinks you can civilise me. I told her that I wish you good luck, but I am not sure you can succeed when twelve years of school have failed."
He kissed Albus' ear, then his cheek. "Also, I do see you as a person. A very special person. And I need your help, just as you need mine. We are two of the most powerful wizards in the world. We can bring out the best in each other. Just think what we can achieve if we work together. We can create magic the world has never seen before. We can destroy death, bring back your parents. Don't you want that?"
Albus' body and mind were throbbing with the sweetness of Gellert's kisses. How was he supposed to think clearly, to resist, with Gellert's lips on his face? "What kind of magic do you want to create? Dark magic?"
"There is no such thing as Dark magic. That is just a name given by people who are scared to explore certain kinds of power."
"Like Inferi? Because that is Dark magic. I told you, people can get hurt. Magic is dangerous -"
"Yes, it's dangerous!" growled Gellert. "Nothing worth doing in life is without a risk. We have to be bold, not afraid. So long as we believe in ourselves, we will survive. Fear not, Albus. I will be with you."
"I don't know…"
"For once in your life, don't be cautious. Don't worry for what others will think. Trust your instincts, follow your own feelings. What does your heart say?"
"My heart? My heart says… that you are dangerous. That you are cruel and callous. That you are wild and violent and uncontrollable. That if I follow you, I might lose myself and end up being hurt."
"And?"
"And… it also says that I should be with you. Because if I don't go with you, I'll always wonder how my life would have turned out."
"Good. Because my heart says that you are a weak, soft, sissy boy who is too frightened to make use of his powers. But for some reason, I feel that I should be with you, too."
Albus twisted his body so that his right cheek was under Gellert's lips.
"Gellert…"
"Yes?"
"Did you mean what you said about being honest about our feelings? About not being cautious, not caring what anyone thinks?"
"Yes."
"Then I want you to kiss me. Hard. Right on the lips." Albus could hardly believe what he was saying.
For an instant, Gellert's eyebrows rose in surprise. Then they fell again, and a wicked, sly grin spread across his face. "You learn quickly, Albus." He rolled Albus onto his back and leaned over him. Gellert's hair was deliciously rumpled, his face so handsome with its cheeky smile, a merry, impish light dancing in his blue-fire eyes.
Albus felt he must have died and gone to heaven. How could someone so beautiful be interested in someone like him? It must be a dream, but no dream could be this intense.
Gellert's lips fell like thunderbolts on Albus' mouth, each one sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through his face. Albus closed his eyes and shuddered with pure unadulterated bliss. Gellert's kisses moved from Albus' mouth, radiating outwards to cover his whole face and neck, leaving echoes that burned like fire and sent Albus' skin into paroxysms of delight. Gellert moved lower, trailing kisses down Albus' chest.
"Wait," Albus gasped, frightened, as Gellert's fingers fumbled at Albus' robe. "Stop, Gellert."
"Is this not what you want?" Gellert said, caressing Albus' throat with his fingers.
More than you could know. "Things are moving too quickly. I need time. I've never done this before. I want to take it slowly."
Gellert didn't move. "You are just nervous." His fingers dug into Albus' throat again. "Perhaps if I - "
"No, Gellert!" Albus snapped. "Stop!" He didn't know why, but he was terrified of going further. Kissing Gellert had already taken all the courage he had. He wanted Gellert so badly, but another part of him was holding him back. What he was doing was wrong, improper. He couldn't afford to let his guard down. He would only end up being hurt. Sex was dirty, scary and shameful.
There was a moment of silence.
"As you wish, Albus." Slowly, Gellert lifted himself off Albus and sat beside him. He didn't look too pleased.
Albus rose to a sitting position and brushed grass off his robe. I bet Gellert hates me now. Hold on. He doesn't even like boys. What were we doing? It hadn't occurred to him, but the moment was ruined now.
"What do you wish to do now?" Gellert asked.
Albus slipped his hand into Gellert's.
"Shall we go for a walk?" he said. "It's a nice day."
Gellert smiled. "Yes. This time, you lead."
As they walked across the emerald turf, Albus leaned his head on Gellert's shoulder. The countryside had never looked more beautiful to him than today, with Gellert by his side.