It was all so odd. Princess Luna couldn't find the words at the moment. All that she heard, all that was explained, it was all so bizarre for even her as she watched the life in her sister's body slowly return to her. Something she never expected to see in a very long time. Princess Celestia felt weaker than she anticipated, she couldn't have guessed so much had been drained away from her but still she stood tall in the throne room.
"Once I've regained enough strength, I plan on going back in to save the others, it shouldn't take too long-"
"I will do it."
"Luna!"
"Equestria requires a ruler, and as you said, it should only take a second. Rest sister, you look as if you've started to decay."
"If you're truly intent on going then be mindful of yourself. This being is one of the worse we've encountered yet, and bear in mind the helpful one, they seem honest enough."
"I will sister, now rest. At this rate we shall retrieve the Elements before evening."
"I hope so Luna... I'll send a letter to Twilight, I hope she is still well after everything that has happened."
"They will all prevail sister, they usually do against such odds."
With that Princess Luna left the throne room and approached the rift. She looked inside of the swirling mosh pit before noticing a strange golden mask at the foot of the portal. She ordered it to be taken to Princess Celestia before braving the portal herself. Marching through the chaotic mess, the pair of eyes flew in from the side.
"W-Who are you again? Where's the Miss Sunny? Is she alright?"
"My sister is recovering from this realm, I stand in her stead, she has kept me up to speed."
"Sister? That's good! You're smart enough to win like her, right?"
"Perhaps it is best that you cease speaking to me, unless it is useful."
"You're a lot more forward than her, but okay. This way Ma'am!"
Reluctantly she followed them, noticing the strange images and voices, like a movie skipping through the scenes on constant fast forward. As they made it to the Higher being, they motioned with their hand to the chess board.
"I am Princess Luna, sister of Princess Celestia, and I have come in her stead to win back our lost friends!"
"G. O. O. D. M. Y. M. O. V. E."
Waving a hand the pieces were cast. On her side a human Pinkie Pie stood next to a strange tall man with many other pieces shrouded in the dark, as were theirs, and the screen opened up to a street where the two were, with a boy and an old woman. His piece revealed itself to be a tall man with elegant jet black hair and red ruby eyes with a scarf that had strange bolts coursing through it. She had already felt the effect of the realm leeching her magic away, as well as her life, she had to act quickly.
My Little Pony: Friendship is a Bizarre Adventure
Part 2: ~ Battle Festivity ~
Episode I: A New Hero Dawns, His Name is Joseph Joestar!
Pinkie had gotten to know her new friends better. Joseph, or as he preferred, JoJo, and Smokey were new to each other as well. JoJo had moved from a place called Britain and was with his grandmother. Smokey however was less fortunate than him to say the least. Whether it was pity or sincerity the two had become friends after Smokey had stolen JoJo's wallet. JoJo had taken them to see his grandmother to help everyone settle in with each as usual was excited, while Smokey was more surprised and reluctant, having entered the room JoJo introduced them to his Grandmother.
"Granma Erina, we got guest, hope you don't mind!"
"Not at all JoJo, hm? Quite an interesting pair you've brought with you."
They waved with a smile, warming up to the kind old woman.
"I'm Pinkie Pie!"
"I'm Smokey, ma'am."
"Yeah, they're a nice bunch of kids."
"If I recall correctly, you're only eighteen yourself-"
"Shshshsh! Granma~!"
"Don't interrupt me young man!"
"Y-Yes ma'am..."
Pinkie looked all around at the weird sights. The room was full of items and photos. One caught her eye in particular.
"This all looks so fancy~! Hey, who are these guys? This one looks a lot like JoJo!"
"Why, young lady, that is JoJo. Jonathan Joestar, my husband, and Joseph's grandfather."
"Whoa~! He's huge! And kissing someone. Is that you in the picture?"
"Unfortunately not. She was a close friend of Speedwagon and Jonathan. The only reason I still have it is because of how dearly he held onto it himself... And it's one of the very few photos I have of him."
"Oops-"
"No, please. I enjoy answering questions, I am a teacher after all. But I must ask, how did you two meet JoJo?"
"Oh we met in some alley. He taught me how to walk!"
"We bumped into each other while she climbed into the scene."
"So I see. Well, are either of you two hungry?"
"Boy, am I!"
"I-I don't wanna bother you."
"Good to hear. Let's go, I hear of this wonderful Italian restaurant in downtown of the city."
They left the building, as they were crossing the road one taxi driver stopped as JoJo was in his way. Blaring his horn he began to shout at him.
"Hey, shitheel! Could you move any slower, some of us got places to be!"
He didn't realize the man's size and was almost picked out of his car in an instant.
"Hello~! What did you say, asshole? Depending on your answer, I may just have to kick your-"
"JoJo!"
He froze upon hearing Erina's voice and turned with a sweet smile.
"What on Earth are you doing to that poor man?"
"This? Oh I was just talking to him, got a us a free taxi ride right here, isn't that right?"
"Y-Yeah! Totally, I-I-I'm in a giving mood today!"
"Is that so? Why, thank you dear."
They all got into the cab and traveled to downtown, learning more about the short comings of the Joestar family. Jonathan had died in a boat accident after recovering from a year of depression, with Erina saving a baby as well as her unknown child, who would later become Joseph's parents. They had died during the last World War due to the fighting and sickness. Yet even as she spoke of these misfortunes she kept herself in high spirits. The family were great friends with Robert E.O Speedwagon, one of the richest and most influential businessmen in the country. Then she turned the question on them, or rather, Pinkie since she had been asking the most. She pulled out the shard and held it out.
"I got shot out of there and into the dumpster where they found me!"
"Is that so? How interesting. Did you take any blows to the head?"
"Actually I think JoJo hit someone else-"
"No I didn't!"
"Is that right JoJo?"
"Y-Yeah, but, well..."
Smokey decided to speak up finally.
"He saved me from some cops who were beating me up in the alley. It's how we met."
"Oh? What for?"
"Ugly pigs were more offended by his looks than his actions, they thought he stole my wallet when I actually gave it to him."
He winked at Smokey before getting thwacked with an umbrella by Erina.
"You lost your temper again, didn't you!"
"Ack! I'm sor- OW! Stop it okay I'm- Agh!" Forgive me!"
By the time she stopped hitting him they had arrived at their destination and got a table. However fun times didn't last too long until trouble came by. A brute with an attitude as ugly as he began to complain loudly across the restaurant, pointing to them, specifically Smokey.
"Hey, waiter! You let pigs like that in here?! His stink is giving my food a bad taste!"
"Sir, it's policy that if they can pay, anyone may eat here. Please understand-"
"What!? Pig can Pigs in here?! I called a waiter, not a comedian!"
He looked down, hurt on his face, then Pinkie elbowed him with a cheery grin.
"Don't listen to him! He probably came out of a dumpster like me and can only smell himself! I think he landed on his face when he got out."
"What was that you technicolored bitch!?"
"I-I didn't mean to bring any trouble, I'll leave."
He got up only for a wine glass to hit him on the side of his head, the brute laughing at him. Erina placed a hand on Smokey's arm as JoJo got up.
"JoJo."
"I hope you're not telling me to do nothing."
"I was going to say don't break anything that isn't his."
"Heh, Thanks Granma."
He turned only to see Pinkie standing right in front of the brute with her hands on her hips. The brute cracked his knuckles with a roll of the neck and put his hand in his jacket pocket.
"You wanna piece of this kid?"
"Hey, you're brass knuckles ain't in your jacket pocket, they're in your back pocket."
He raised a brow at her as he checked he pocket and pulled out the weapon with a gasp as the diner began to take notice of all the commotion. Pinkie smiled brightly and pointed at him.
"You're gonna say, 'How'd you know 'bout these, you snot nosed brat!?', right?"
"How'd you know about these, you bastard- Huh!?"
"M-My special trick!"
"You've got those weird marks on your hoov- hands! You probably got in a fight and used those after taking off the jacket!"
"And there's blood on your shirt, someone else's blood, to drive the point she made home, you put them in your back pocket without thinking. Must've been hard for you to remember to breathe."
"You're gonna say, 'So what's your friggin' point wiseguy!?'"
The brute snarled and lunged at her punching away.
"So what's your fucking point smartass!?"
In a flash, he never saw it, but Pinkie had grabbed a nearby hat rack and used it as a shield. The brute kept throwing blow after blow laughing.
"HAHAH! In your ugly mug, ya dumb broad! That's what ya get for acting so cool!"
"You're as slow molasses being churned on a Monday morning in August. Scratch that, you're kinda slower. Look at what you've done to your hand, please."
"Wha? G-GAAAAA!"
Using the rack as a shield the brute's hand were torn apart by splinters. The audience applauded, since the man had caused problems before. Another man, a quiet one who sat at the same table as the brute, stood up and wiped his mouth with a napkin.
"Excuse my associates stupidity, Miss, are you Erina Pendleton?"
"I am. Why do you ask."
"I work for the Speedwagon Association, the Underground District to be precise, and I have urgent news for and your grandson here. Mr. Speedwagon, has been murdered by a man from Tibet."
JoJo and Erina visibly paled, then anger flashed in his eyes.
"W-What did you just say? Depending on your answer, I'll have to kick your ass! Who just tells an old woman sudden news like that!?"
"Mr. Speedwagon... Dead?"
He scoffed and shook his head.
"I simply told you what little rumors I heard. His body was found in some river in the Southern area of the Americas. For a bit more, compensation, I could tell you the rest."
"He looks like mafia JoJo, we can't really trust what he says."
He pulled out a cigar only to have Pinkie take it right out of his mouth.
"Y'know these things are bad for your health, but then again so is being mean."
"What're you talking about this is busin-"
He doubled over wheezing loudly from the fist JoJo buried into his gut.
"You should take her advice, she's a lot smarter than you. I know where that is, Mexico, am I right? He told us where he went, but I can't let you go, not with making Granma sad."
With that, a few months had passed, Erina had become quieter, but had essentially taken the two in her home rather quickly. Pinkie had adjusted quite nicely, having been on a surprisingly similar wavelength with JoJo, as Smokey became their keeper by keeping them from getting into trouble. Upon one late evening on a walk to a local diner Smokey decided to ask JoJo a question.
"Hey, JoJo, what was that magic stuff you pull whenever we go out? The one that makes you glow."
"Huh, my special trick? Oh, you mean my Hamon, I keep forgetting I even have it sometimes."
"That's a lie! I see you use it all the time when we go out! Like pulling weird stunts at the convenient stores to distract costumers so we get free colas!"
"Like making that one smoke machine catch on fire, causing the milk to explode in one aisle, that one time where the fire hydrant sprung to life and splashed that one rude lady, and if I recall correctly as Smokey just said, about thirty-two minuets ago, causing the fire and sprinkler alarm to go off in the convenient store using a matchstick, a lighter, and a pigeon, so we could all grab a drink and you get that shopping magazine!"
"Hey, they ran out of comics somehow, he had it coming. What's with the stores around here anyways, judging people by their skin color."
"Well it's a common thing in this country. What it's not like this where you come from?"
"Nope."
"What about you Double P?"
"Nah, we don't usually judge someone on appearance, unless they're from far away and don't look a lot like us and are creepy. But that's only if they're creepy, which you're not Smokey!"
"I... I guess that's cool? Thanks. But you never answered my question, JoJo."
"Hamon is my special power, it works when I breathe in a special way, so it's hard to explain."
"Wait all you do is breathe to pull all those stunts before!?"
"Ooh! Ooh! If it's breathing, can I do it too!?"
"I'unno maybe? Apparently, it's really hard but you can do some awesome stuff, as you've seen."
"I don't believe you man, but let's just go inside, this place actually let's me in every now and again."
They entered just as sunset hit, ordering a small meal, waiting at their assigned table. JoJo began reading the magazine and showed one page to his friends, although Pinkie had been breathing in weird ways since they entered.
"Hey check this out! They're selling some pretty sweet stuff today! Might make up for how cold it is."
"Wait a minuet JoJo, I've seen this thing on sale before, you'll get ripped off!"
Smokey began to explain the logistics of how one should spend their money, the tells of a proper deal, and how to browse things for sell. All things that would be helpful in life, however, JoJo heard nothing as a stranger outside of the diner stared directly at them. He was clearly breathing but unlike everyone, his breath wasn't white, his eyes were read, and he could've sworn he saw a fang. He got up from his seat and went outside to confront the stranger. Pinkie dived under the table and pulled Smokey down with her. If it were anyone else, there would've been a fight on his hands, but Smokey in these short days have come to respect Pinkie's intuiton. It has helped getting the trio out of trouble before. That and she kept breathing weirdly. He could only wonder what was going to happen next.
"Hey... Do I know you from somewhere? Have we met?"
"..."
"I feel like we've met man, and what's with that look, or more importantly those eyes. And I coulda swore there was fang I just saw.
"..."
They stared each other down, JoJo walking around him carefully, then glared with fury flaring in his eyes. A hand behind in his flak jacket.
"Don't play dumb with me."
"Urreyehehe, JoJo...I don't care if we're seen, I'll take your life before you become a problem for me!"
"As Granma would say, is that so?"
He pulled out a Tommy Gun on the spot and fired away on the vampire screaming as tears strolled down his face. Patrons in the diner all duck down in cover as Smokey couldn't help but yell.
"I-I knew he was crazy, but this!? Who pulls out a rifle in the middle of the street like this?! WHERE'D HE EVEN HIDE IT!?"
"In his jacket, what I wanna know is, why fire when we're still in here. O-Oh I think that was it, lemme try again."
"WE'RE ABOUT TO DIE-"
He stopped firing once the vampire flew inside, riddled with bullets, and littered with holes. JoJo took a step inside through the window.
"Get up, I've been waiting for you, Straights! Blast your head off, expose you to sunlight, or fill you with my Hamon. The only ways to really kill you, and I've got a plan to use all three if I've got to!"
People began to panic as he entered. Smokey got up as JoJo picked up his coffee, only to have the handle break off. Tables were destroyed and some were still in shock by the bullets that missed them.
"Aw crap, the repair costs in this place will be sky high-"
"JOJO! YOU. JUST SHOT. A MAN. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY!"
"Huh? Oh him, yeah, fuck that guy. I've gotta strong feeling he's the one who killed Uncle Speedwagon."
"YOU KILLED HIM ON A FEELING!"
"Nah, I bet he's still alive. If he isn't, then it'll be solved with my incarceration."
Then they found him. Standing and picking the bullets out of his body with ease. Smokey took a step back and ran out pulling Pinkie with him.
"Jesus Christ, Oh God, Oh Man, Oh Man, Oh God! What're you even doing girl!?"
"Breathing!"
"How could I have missed his head... You were just full of bullets!"
"Hm, Dio's mistake, was experimenting with himself. I on the other hand, care not for my abilities right now, Joseph Joestar! Die!"
Straights eyes began to protrude, specifically the irises, as JoJo aimed for another shot. But with a few empty clips, his luck seemingly ran out.
"Out of bullets? Wonderful, take this, the power that killed your grandfather!"
A pressurized liquid flew from the eyes and struck JoJo in his head and throat. Straights laughed and turned with his eyes closed.
"Now, to just finish that old hag off. It'll be easy as-"
"The next thing you'll say is, 'Smothering a baby in her crib.', right?"
"Smothering a baby in her crib. W-what!?"
He turned back to see a standing JoJo grinning smugly at him, the wholes still in his body.
"Now you'll say, 'I-I shot two holes in this moron's most vital spots!'."
"I-I shot two holes in this moron's most vital spots! H-How're you doing that?"
"More importantly Straights, how come you haven't seen through the trick already? Isn't it obvious with the sound of my voice alone? I picked this diner for this very reason!"
It had finally dawned on him. He turned as JoJo swung the weapon right into his face, breaking fangs and his nose, a sickening loud crunch as a familiar glow emanated from the gun.
"I told you I had a plan with your head and my Hamon! You fell for the amateur mirror gag!"
Outside Pinkie had kept doing her odd breathing, changing her pace and such, with a worrying Smokey. The inside of the diner had gone increasingly dark. A woman ran up to them and started asking questions.
"What's going on here? I'm hearing of a mad man shooting up this place."
"There's actually a vampiric monk from Tibet who I'm guessing used to be a friend of our friends granddad, but now they aren't friends, and he's trying to get rid of him because he could be a big problem later, and our friend is fighting back and shooting the place up because the vampire hurt his uncle Speedwagon and-"
Smokey covered her mouth despite her still talking and shook his head.
"Ignore her the best you can please. B-but there really is a guy in there that doesn't die!"
"What a bunch of crazy kids..."
At that moment JoJo had jumped out of the window laughing before a large explosion happened right inside, with the sounds of a man screaming loudly. The two ran over and were mortified by what they saw.
"Don't look you two it-"
"W-We've already seen it... Oh My God!"
"That's what vampires are like over here...?"
"Somehow, it wasn't enough! I didn't get the brain!"
Inside was Straights slowly putting his body back together, rather the limbs and viscera themselves rolled and slithered to his side, putting himself back together at an alarming rate. It didn't help his clothes hadn't survived the blast.
"J-JoJo! You do have a plan for this too, right?"
"I do. Notice his legs? They must have taken the most damage."
"Yeah, so?"
"And notice our legs. We have a stronger legs than him, we're in great shape actually."
"S-So what's the plan, man?!"
"... WE SKIDADDLE OUTTA HERE! GANG WAY, MOVE YOU BUMS, I GOTTA AN APPOINTMENT TO MAKE!"
"GAH! This Guy's Insane!"
"Wait For Me~!"
JoJo turned and sprinted as fast as he could with Smokey and Pinkie Pie following him. One man tried to stop him but was trampled down by the trio. They made it to a bridge and stopped.
"W-Why did I run with you two?"
"I'm curious to see how this plays out. At least I saved my cola, no thanks to you JoJo."
"Shut up you two. You hear that?"
"What the river?"
"No, above us!"
It was the woman from before trying to talk, or more precisely, mewl past Straights fingers in her mouth.
"This woman is a hostage. Climb up and face me, and I shall let her go, otherwise I kill her by ripping her jaw off. It would be easy for me. A simple, small, pull downward. I could let gravity itself drag my finger down slowly crushing her tongue and teeth before... Well I've said my piece."
"That ugly thing? C'mon man, I don't even know her! Maybe if it were some girl I liked or some hot babe, but this is the best you had?"
"Th-That's right JoJo, le's go!"
"That's harsh even if you're lying JoJo."
"Five seconds, boy, or a tear her jaw, throat, and chest out."
"Like you would actual-"
The hostage screamed violently as her molar hit JoJo's head.
"Four."
"Holy sh- He actually did it! JoJo, what're you.. JoJo?"
"Three."
He didn't make it to two by the time JoJo climbed up and confronted him, tossing the woman aside with a victorious smirk.
"I knew it, it truly runs in the family, that passion."
"You're rotten to the core! I'll never forgive you!"
"Foolish boy, disappear from my sight!"
Once more he shot the liquid form his eyes but JoJo was prepared this time, whipping out two shot glasses placed the previous spots that had been struck into the mirror, infusing it with Hamon.
"I snagged these I escaped the blast and baited you away from the crowd! Call me foolish, but you're the idiot using the same trick twice!"
The one aimed for his head flew right into the glass, curving and returning to the shooter and in his head, but he was still struck by the other on the shoulder. Straights leaned back from the impact shocked that his attack could have been deflected.
"I-Im-"
"You'll say. 'Impossible', next."
"Impossible! But I'm not done, not yet!"
Smokey jumped up laughing and hugging Pinkie.
"H-He did it! Hey, you can stop hyperventilating now-"
He didn't notice the strange glow around her until it was too late, the cola she had been shaking up in down aimed at Straights, as she took one last breath before the cap flew like bullet. Hitting Straights in the knee as he ran at JoJo, tripping him as his knee had been blown away entirely.
"I DID IT!"
"H-H-Ho-How?!"
"Breathing~!"
JoJo had taken this opportunity to send a Hamon charged foot straight to the vampires face, sending him off the edge of the bridge.
"THAT! Was for Uncle Speedwagon, hope it burns you all the way to Hell!"
As Straights began to fall JoJo had caught him at the last moment.
"But before you go, I need to know, why did you throw Uncle Speedwagon body into the river? We would've never caught on then."
"Joseph Joestar, you're almost an exact replica of your grandfather, save for you unsavory tongue. But I will grant your request, because by being like Jonathan, you have stepped into a fate like his."
"... What?"
"You will meet him, the Pillar Man, a man stuck in stone but awakened by blood. Just like the Stone Mask. When I had attacked Speedwagon and his colleagues their blood and bodies were being sucked away by the stone, by the Pillar Man. In a way, I saved him, even though intending to end his life. A mere human he is, tenacity was always his strong point. I took his body away so that the Pillar Man wouldn't awaken... But I fear I have failed anyhow."
"So can you tell me exactly where you left him, cause I wanna say Mexico-"
"Actually the last place I had seen him was..."
"Well?"
Straights smiled before creating Hamon in his body, causing it to break apart and melt away.
"No no, oh no you don't you motherfucker don't you DO IT-"
"ItwasinMexico."
"I didn't hear that-"
It was too late. Straights had turned to ash.
The Straights piece had been blown to smithereens. Her JoJo piece was bleeding in the shoulder, but her Pinkie piece still glowed gold.
"A. F. A. S. T. L. E. A. R. N. E. R. I. S. E. E. A. N. E. D. G. E. F. O . R. Y. O. U. I. N. T. H. I. S. B. A. T. T. L. E. O. F. W. I. T."
"Ngh... How slow yet agonizing this draining of yours is. But I will endure."
"A. H. A. N. D. I. C. A. P. E. A. C. H. V. I. C. T. O. R. Y. E. N. D. S. W. I. T. H. A. L. L. E. N. E. R. G. Y. R. E. G. A. I. N. E. D. R. A. T. H. E. R. T. H. A. N. W. H. A. T. W. A. S. G. I. V. E. N. A. L. O. N. E."
"Rather than what was given- No wonder my sister had seemed so drained! You still keep a vast amount of her energy! Hurry onto the next round then! A care not for your amusement."
The scene had changed, a lab with an old man and soldiers looking into a room where a tall muscular man, the pinnacle of pure perfect physique, absorbing the limbs on another being through what had look like some demented version of osmosis. Then it had cut to JoJo riding a motorcycle with Pinkie holding onto him.