Myrtle floated around watching as Remus kicked and punched the walls and cursed in a way that made her feel quite happy. The small boy raged in her bathroom for some time and then collapsed down, crying. She settled down next to him and stroked his quivering back.

"It's okay, bullies get their own," she promised.

Remus sat up, her arm going through his body. "They better," he said darkly and then pulled his wand out. "Verdimillious!" It wasn't anywhere near as impressive as the one he had done out of anger but there were still at least half a dozen sparks that rained down.

"Ooh, how pretty!" Myrtle said. "I was never very good at those sorts of spells. I was always better with changing things. Charms that make things dance, and transfiguration sort of spells."

"Verdimillious," he said again and watched the sparks land on the stone floor. "Verdimillious. Verdimillious."

"If you're going to do a show you should at least switch it up," she said.

Remus finally looked at her and then nodded. "Vermillious," he said even though the red one was a more advanced version of the sparking spell and nothing happened. "Caerullious," he said, no idea if that was even a spell but figuring if something produced blue sparks that would be it. "Verdimillious," he said again and the green sparks shot out.

Remus flicked his wand over and over, green sparks going everywhere. Then he finally put his wand away and curled up on the floor, listening to Myrtle talk about the girl who used to bully her and how she tried haunting her for a while. Wish you could go haunt Dedenne, he thought bitterly. The others that know don't seem to take points away from me just because I'm a monster. But Dedenne... she teaches this stuff. She knows better. She probably has a better understanding of what I am, and that's why she does it. But singling me out like that shouldn't happen. I do deserve it though. I'm just a wolf in human clothing, really. She should be commended for putting up with me as much as she does. Merlin, I talked back to a teacher...!

Remus stayed in Myrtle's bathroom until supper when he finally said goodbye to her and went to the Great Hall. As soon as he went in he saw his classmates looking at him and whispering. Black and Potter started to get up but Evans got there first. Remus's face flushed as she took hold of his arm and knew this would probably just cause more teasing from his dorm.

"Please d-d-don't," Remus said before she could even open her mouth, shaking her hand off of him. "I d-deserved wh-what I got."

"She shouldn't have yelled at you like that, you only did what she asked and she never once said the person had to be facing you," Evans said hesitantly.

Remus just shook his head. "I w-w-was wr-wrong t-to-to-to do that." He looked up towards the table and thought perhaps he should go apologize to Dedenne however he could never do that in front of the entire room. So he shuffled to the table and took a seat. Black, Potter, and Pettigrew swiftly joined him before Evans could sit down and Remus just ate in silence as they went on about how awesome it was that he had talked back to a teacher like that, and had been the first to do the spell, and how it wasn't right Dedenne just took points away, and blah-blah-blah. Remus focused on his food until he couldn't eat another bite then mumbled a goodbye before leaving them, ignoring their gazes. For a split second he felt bad for being rude to them then remembered their teasing the night before and was glad he was rude.

()

Dear Mum and Dad 22/9/71

I want to come home. I've changed my mind about being at Hogwarts. I don't like it anymore. It's not worth it.

Remus.

()

Arthur wasn't in the owlery when Remus climbed into the tower and he remembered he had already sent a letter off earlier in the day. He considered using one of the school owls but none of them seemed to want him near due to his animalistic nature so he just headed to study group, where his actions in Defense was the talk of the town. Twycross and Craft greatly disapproved of what he had done and said, while Evans was firmly on Remus's side. Bones just laughed about the whole thing until Farrow appeared and kicked him out for causing so much noise, so they were down a member of their group that evening.

Before bed, Spinnet started teasing Remus about Evans again but to everyone's surprise Black and Potter both told him to shove off and stop being so immature.

"Immature? You were worse than that last night!" Spinnet snapped. "Or have you just changed your mind since he said he wouldn't do your homework for you."

"I d-d-don't do th-their homework!" Remus snapped and then glared at the other two. "And I don't need yo-y-your pity!" He grabbed his things and left the room to get a shower, ignoring Potter's protests that it wasn't pity. When he returned twenty minutes later-squeaky clean and in his pajamas for a nap before Astronomy-he hesitated outside the door, hearing the voices within talking about him. Spinnet was calling him a freak again. Complaining about the two times Remus woke them all up with his screaming, and the fact he couldn't even talk properly.

"You don't know his background," Potter told Spinnet, sticking up for Remus. Except not really. "It's not his fault he isn't normal."

Remus's heart fell a bit at that. Even to someone defending him he was weird and unusual.

"Maybe he's mad," Spinnet said. "Maybe he lived at Saint Mungo's. That's why he can't talk and has nightmares and attacked Professor Dedenne like that."

"He didn't attack her, he just did what was asked," Black said.

Remus's stomach twisted as he realized no one was arguing the Saint Mungo's/insanity bit. I shouldn't expect them to. He took in a deep breath and went inside. Spinnet was starting to say something else but stopped when Remus came in, instead giving him a glower. Potter, Black, and Pettigrew busied themselves with their card game, and Struthers pretended to be asleep. Remus kept his nose in the air as he got into his own bed, shutting the curtains.

"Mental, that one," Spinnet muttered.

Nobody else said anything.

()

Remus felt lonelier and lonelier over the next couple days as none of his dormmates tried to talk to him. The only one who seemed to acknowledge him was Black with his silvery stares, and that was it. Remus even avoided going to study group on Friday night and instead spent his time in a dark, empty room with the Fat Friar of Hufflepuff who happily talked about various changes in the school throughout the centuries while Remus shot green sparks out of his wand. Today's Defense lesson hadn't gone much better. Dedenne had lined up the students again only this time had Remus be double partners with Evans and Pettigrew, and then she snapped at him for 'frightening poor Pettigrew' when he first shot out a brilliant blaze of green sparks and then just had him sit in the corner for the rest of the class and redo his essay which had been marked poor. Evans had tried to talk to him after class but he just ran off to hide, missing supper, preferring the Friar's company.

When his stomach growled the Fat Friar asked about him getting food and Remus admitted he didn't want to be around anyone.

"Come on then," the Fat Friar said and motioned for Remus to follow him. He took him through the castle and down a side passage and stairwell near the Great Hall. Down a long corridor which was quite wide and cheerfully lit and smelling of food. The Fat Friar stopped in front of a large painting of a bowl of fruit. "All right then, tickle the pear."

Remus stared at the Fat Friar for a few seconds wondering what the heck he just said or why he said it, but the Friar was smiling and nodding so Remus stretched his hand out and tickled the pear. It wriggled and then turned into a handle.

The room inside was huge, as big as the Great Hall (which Remus realized they were directly under). There were five tables arranged in the same manner as the tables above them and Remus watched as house-elves placed platters on the tables, and the platters disappeared. There were loads of counters and stoves and sinks and dishes and cupboards and a huge fireplace and at least a hundred house-elves all wearing the same sort of tea towel uniform. The house-elves that saw Remus began bowing and curtsying as well as greeting the Fat Friar who sat down at the table that matched up with the Hufflepuff table.

"I's Toggle," said a rather stout and ancient house-elf. "Toggle's in charge of the kitchens, he is."

"Er, hullo Toggle," Remus said pleasantly.

"Is there something wrong with the food, Young Master Student?"

"Oh, no, no, not at all. I've loved all the food I've had. I just-er, I didn't go to supper tonight and the Fat Friar brought me here..." He trailed off, not sure whether or not to outright ask for food however Toggle seemed to understand. He gave a bow and then shouted orders at some other house-elves who tripped over themselves bring over a basket full of sandwiches, fruit, and bottles of different flavors of soda pop. Remus thanked them all which made them all squeak and wring their tea towels before scurrying off. He thanked the Fat Friar as well before leaving the kitchens, feeling extremely happy. Now he knew where to go when he didn't want to be in the Great Hall. Which was most the time.

()

On Saturday morning Remus got three pieces of mail, one of which had a small package attached to it that Arthur needed help carrying in.

Dearest Remus, 24/9/71

Your father never knew much about this mind-reading magic and it's made us both very worried. Are you certain there is a way to prevent it from happening? I am grateful that Dumbledore is doing what he can for you however... I know there's only so much that can be done. I wish you were home with us, safe, you'd be safe with us. Hidden away from prying eyes and prying minds. Just say the word, love, and you'll be back home safe with us.

Love, Mum

PS. I made you some of your favorite cookies.

Mr. Lupin

Please report to Mr. Filch at 6pm tonight (25 September) for your detention

Professor McGonagall

Remus

Please come to my office at three pm for more sugared oranges. The gargoyle likes them too.

Albus

Remus opened the package and found a dozen double chocolate chip cookies. He immediately broke one apart and started eating it, feeding a few pieces to Arthur who nuzzled him. Remus smiled and stroked Arthur's chest. He felt someone staring at him and knew without looking it was Black.

Then Remus reread the letter from his mother. His I-want-to-go-home letter was still in his pocket however he no longer wished to send it. Sure, he still felt the sting from Dedenne's harshness and the hurt from his dormmates teasing, but it felt different now after some sleep and waking up to a sunshine-y Saturday morning.

Armed with cookies, he figured he didn't need anymore breakfast and after giving Arthur a kiss on his feather head and sending him off, Remus went outside. It was quite warm under the sun though there was quite a chill to the breeze. He found a nice spot near the lake and stretched out on his belly, eating several cookies and breaking up one of them to toss at the giant squid in the water.

Just as he started on one of his many essays, he heard voice nearby. He glanced over and saw a little ways off Potter, Black, and Pettigrew. Potter had a ball with him that he began tossing back and forth with Black while Pettigrew watched. Because of their positions on the sloping grounds, it was easier for Remus to see them than it was for them to see him so they had no idea he was there.

Remus watched them, arms folded on the grass, chin on his arms. Potter threw the ball with quite a lot of zest, tumbling around and laughing. Black kept laughing too and didn't seem to have as good an aim as Potter but there was definite strength behind his throws. Pettigrew kept clapping and cheering them on whenever a particularly difficult catch was made.

I wonder what it's like. Remus tilted his head so his cheek was against his arms now, smiling as Black crashed into Pettigrew to try to catch the ball and Potter doubled over, wheezing with laughter at them. I wonder how it feels. He wished that he could experience it. What it was like to be a normal boy. To not have this deep secret. To not be cursed, a dark creature, on the edge of falling off the cliff if he didn't balance himself just so. To be free just for one minute and laugh and toss a ball with friends.

Remus buried his face in his arms and sighed. His mother and father seemed adamant a cure would be found one day but Remus knew better. Nobody cared about werewolves. Nobody would work towards a cure when a silver ax was plenty of enough cure for the majority of society.

A thudding sound and Remus jerked his head, watching the ball roll towards him. He got to his knees just as Potter came up the hill. "Oh!" Potter smiled as he picked the ball up. "Wanna join us?" Yes. But Remus shook his head. "You know... it's okay." Potter knelt down, tucking the ball under one arm. "You don't have to look so guilty for saying no." Remus glanced up, startled. I look guilty? "You don't have to hang out with us if you don't want to. We're not gonna be angry about it."

"P-probably prefer it," Remus mumbled.

Potter tilted his head and then pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Why would we prefer it if you didn't? I wouldn't be asking, if we'd rather you not being around us. I know Sirius and Peter feel the same. We all feel bad for teasing you the other night, even if you won't accept our apologies."

"I kn-know you all th-th-think I'm m-mad," Remus said, glaring at Potter, challenging him to deny it.

Potter looked very uncomfortable at that. "No we don't."

"Liar."

"All right, be that way. Just trying to be friendly."

"I don't want your pity."

"It isn't pity!" Potter was angry now, his voice raising so much it got Black and Pettigrew's attention. Remus and Potter both got to their feet as the other two came up the hill. "You think that's the only reason anyone would want to be your friend? Out of pity? What sort of friends did you have before?"

"None, actually!" Remus spat out the humiliating truth without even thinking and then he clamped his hand over his mouth in horror and his face went brilliantly red as they gaped at him and then he felt hot and his nose itched and he knew he shouldn't have said anything, but there it was, he admitted something to them he never wanted anyone to know. His breath got a bit ragged behind his hand and he felt his eyes go rather watery.

"Mate-" Potter started but Remus grabbed his bag of books and pushed past them. "Wait, Lupin!" But he kept running as fast as he could back to the school.

()

Remus hid out in various empty rooms knowing these were probably off limits, went to the kitchens at lunch and then hid out in a shadowy corridor on the first floor until just before three. Then he made his way to the Headmaster's office, only vaguely remembering the way Sir Nicholas showed him. It took a few tries and then a nice 'please?' to a portrait but finally he ended up in front of the gargoyle. It didn't move like it did before and Remus wondered what he was supposed to do. Then he recalled Dumbledore's note.

"Sugared oranges," he said and the gargoyle stepped aside.

At the top of the stairs he knocked at the door and was told to please come in. Remus opened the door and crept into the big office, heart hammering even through he knew he wasn't in trouble. Dumbledore was standing next to his phoenix and on its other side stood a witch that at first Remus thought she was as old as Dumbledore but then saw despite her flowing white locks and cane she was probably no older than Remus's mother. There were pink splotches of scars around her eyes which were a rather pale shade of grey.

"Hello, Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore said. "Remus, this is my friend, Mythana Fawley. Myth, this is Remus Lupin."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," she said with a nod of her head and a bit of an Irish twinge in her voice. She wasn't looking at him, just at the far well. "Don't mind the scars."

"It's a p-p-p-pleasure to-to me-meet you too," Remus said, looking down at his shoes, worried she'd start looking into his memories right away.

"Shall we have a seat?" Dumbledore asked and he offered his arm to Ms. Fawley, helping her over to a couch. He motioned for Remus to sit down as well. Remus opted for a chair nearby, feeling too awkward to sit with the adults.

"Albus has told me you wish to learn occlumency," Ms. Fawley said, staring ahead still. "He's told me why."

"Oh."

"It's all right, my dear, I've nothing against werewolves."

Remus shuddered when she used that word, feeling that sickness he always got whenever he heard it. "M-most people do," he couldn't help say.

"A werewolf saved my life," she said simply. "I was in a rather nasty battle with a dark witch who didn't like the fact my husband chose me over her, and she had the upper hand." Ms. Fawley (Mrs.?) tapped her finger against one of the splotches. "She destroyed my eyesight. I am blind. She would have killed me completely however..." Ms. Fawley gripped her cane tightly and lowered her head, her white hair falling in a sheet across her cheek. "My sister was a werewolf and interfered. She killed the witch who wanted me dead. In doing so the Ministry had her executed for killing someone."

"I'm so sorry," Remus said, twisting his fingers into the hem of his over-sized sweatshirt. She saved her sister's life and was killed for it. Then regretted thinking that, worried Ms. Fawley was looking into his head. Then he wondered how she could perform legilimency with no eyesight. Then regretted thinking that in case she was in his head.

"Myth has agreed to help you learn to fight off legilimency," Dumbledore said. "You'll have lessons with her once a week. Perhaps Tuesdays after supper?"

Even though Remus hadn't gone to study group on Thursday or Friday he felt a little upset of the thought of not being able to go on Tuesdays anymore, however he wasn't in any position to argue or barter. "Th-thank you s-s-so much Ms. F-F-Fawley," he said. "Er, M-Mrs. F-Fawley."

"Ms.," she replied as she got to her feet. "The witch got her wish in the end. Once I lost my eyesight and my sister was revealed to be a werewolf, my husband left me. It's all right though. I permanently gave him donkey ears as revenge. Hasn't been able to shake the spell off even to this day."

Remus began laughing without meaning to. "N-Nick Bottom."

Ms. Fawley grinned. "I have the feeling you and I are going to get along wonderfully, Remus." She held her hand out straight in front of her and Remus got to his feet, shaking her hand, realizing this was going to be a lot better than he initially thought.