My Little Pony: Friendship is a Bizarre Adventure
Part 2: ~Battle Festivity~
Episode VII: The Finale of an Age Old Battle, Hamon vs Pillar, The Ultimate Gamble !
Traversing through the old mansion, unaware of its history or layout, the trio moved on determined to finish things. The darkness shrouded the halls and walls, as if there were always more to the mansion than before, even the cobwebs were seemingly endless. JoJo swiped away at them with his clackers, clearly annoyed. Pinkie Pie took lead, simply waving the cobwebs away. Lisa Lisa in the back surveying the area, looking out for any incoming ambushes.
"Geez, these guys couldn't have at least spruced the damn place up? I'll get all this nasty dust and cobwebs all over my clackers!"
"At least we have a trail to follow from Wham and Tezla's blood."
"It's getting weaker, they must be healing fast!"
"It leads behind this door right here."
Pinkie reached for the door but stopped and jumped, bumping into JoJo.
"O-Oi what's with you all of a sudden?"
"That's not a door."
"Huh?"
"Hey~ she saw through my disguise, ok?"
JoJo and Lisa Lisa snapped to the door as a man in prison clothing emerged from the wood itself.
"WRRRRYYYYY!"
As he fell forward he stretched his hands out, his two targets JoJo and Pinkie barely stepping to the side in time to dodge, both suffering a small cut wound on their arms. He caught himself and chuckled.
"Chheyyy! If that pretty chick didn't catch me, I would have taken both of your faces clean off like cheap masks, ok? Oh right, m' names Wired Beck, ok?"
"Like we care. Get out of our way, please."
"Hnnn~ Hnnn~! You sure are cheeky cupacke, remind me of my girl, before I offed her, ok?"
"I can tell how she died, you bored her poor soul to death!"
"Good Grief, you're rotten to the core. C'mon we'll deal with you quick!"
"What was tha-"
Lisa Lisa began to approach him with Beck whistling loudly, rubbing his hands together.
"HMMNN~ Ain't you something special, and I was getting hungry too, ok? I'll hug you nice and tight first to get that luscious blood, ok?"
"We don't have the time or patience for you. We're all in a bad mood, so I'll do a favor and kill you quickly."
"Tch! Why you- WOOFHOFHOO~!"
With a flex a his hair on his body turned to that of a barbwire like spikes. He leered at Lisa Lisa and sneered.
"I don't like my women teasing me, ok? You deserves some punishment, ok? Master's just up ahead and I won't let you pass, ok?"
She simply kept walking forward as he lunged at her, faster than both JoJo and Pinkie thought he could, attempting to wrap her up in his embrace.
"I'LL HUG YOU SSSSSUPER TIGHT, OK! THAT'LL BE YOUR PUNISHMENT, OK!?"
She simply wrapped her own scarf around his neck and shoulders seamlessly as she walked past him, Beck being caught off guard by the scarf stopped in his tracks and tore the scarf off of him.
"Eh? What's with the rag, ok? You really think that's all it takes, ok?"
"Pinkie Pie, JoJo, let's go."
"R-Right!" "Mhm-hm."
As they began to follow her they stopped at Beck who was completely confused, unaware of his skin beginning to sizzle.
"H-Hey, hey! That chick just ignored me, ok!" Hey you, guy, chicks like these should be punished, right, ok?"
"Huh? Nah man, I don't think so, ok?"
"Besides, you're already dead, ok?"
"Yeah, Master Lisa Lisa sent Hamon through you via scarf, ok?"
"So really you're the one who's being punished, ok?"
"Keh! Stop taking bullshit you kids, ok? I ain't feeling as good but I'll-"
The barbed spikes all fell right off as he began to fall apart and dissolve screaming loudly.
"OOOOOOOOH NNNOOOOOOOO! ! ! ! !"
The two ignored him completely, following Lisa Lisa onwards. She turned and stopped at the last door, the blood trail almost completely gone.
"Why haven't either of you drank the antidote rings yet?"
"I'm not so sure about Pinkie's reason, but mine is because it became a promise for Caesar. I'll fight, win, and survive!"
"So I see, is it the same with you Pinkie Pie?"
She shrugged and looked at the ring.
"I guess I'm saving it for a special time. Only a few days left on it anyways."
"Lisa Lisa, why don't you hold onto them for us?"
"I don't think that would be wise, JoJo. Who knows what could happen to any of us, it's best they stay with you two. Now..."
As she turned Pinkie Pie opened the door and marched in. In the dark room, lit dimly by a close fire, sat Wham and Tezla. Both completely healed.
"Pinkie! Stop there's more than just them!"
"I know."
Wham raised a brow with a grin as several vampires fell from above, all crying out with their fangs and claws bared. However she waved her hands around her. It was too late for them to notice, a thin net charged a hundred percent with her Hamon, catching all of them as they burned away into ashes. Lisa Lisa adjusted her sunglasses as she recalled a whole week ago. Pinkie had asked for a scarf like hers despite having one mimicking JoJo's. It couldn't conduct Hamon and thus was fortunate enough to get it within a records time. However upon giving it to her, Pinkie had began to unweave it, making the fabric barely visible. Now it all made sense to her. Wham's grin grew slightly wider with a nod.
"I can see now how she turned three whelps into such fierce warriors in such a time. Caesar was an unexpected challenge, and those eyes of yours, one who is called Pinkie. They did not give such a piercing feeling before."
"I'm pretty mad right now, I think you can guess why."
JoJo was stumped and confused.
"H-Hey! I'm so lost right now, what's going on here? Where'd those vampires come from!?"
"We're outnumbered..."
"Huh? Ey, Lisa Lisa, care to clue me in on this?"
Tezla shook her head and flicked her wrist at the fire, a small but powerful current brought the flames higher to the ceiling revealing a shocking sight. Vampires, all like Straights and Dio, littered the ceiling with only a small spot missing. They moved in a military fashion away from the fire as it flew to the back of the room, unveiling Kars and Soul both on a throne, with Soul holding the Element in her hands staring directly at Pinkie Pie. No one moved nor said anything until JoJo finally reacted accordingly.
"W-What!? What the Fuck!? Not only are there so many vampires, but we've got to deal with the Pillar Men too!"
Kars raised his hand and almost brought it down but stopped upon Wham speaking out.
"Kars, wait!"
"..."
"These two, I have vowed to battle them myself with my protégé. As to avenge ACDC and Ruj, allow us to fight!"
"Please Lord Kars, we're begging you!"
"No Way! These two are dangerous enough, your wounds were a message enough. This is how it shall be done!"
"Fair enough..."
"Kill them-"
"If you kill us you lose the Red Stone forever."
The vampires all nearly leapt done before Soul pounded the armrest of the throne, breaking it off easily.
"Wait you clods. What was that, woman?"
"I'm not stupid like Pinkie Pie to carry the prized item on me at all times, especially here."
"Seriously Master-"
"Should none of us return to a precise area at a certain time, a bomb will go off, and render it useless to all."
"As if you would actually do that, woman. A nice poker face to go with a half assed bluff."
"And if I'm not bluffing, girl? Will any of you be able to find it in time? Think of all your hard work going to waste, your sacrifices for naught, because you thought I was lying."
"I was the one who set it after all, curtesy of lil' explosive Pinkie magic."
"Consider, my own student here. My original plan was a weak explosion to damage it, but thanks to her, the explosion will blow it apart. She's always had a knack of overdoing things."
"We're putting everything on the line here, so why shouldn't you?"
You think we can allow to simply leave?"
"No. In fact, I have an offer to make! JoJo and Wham, Pinkie and Tezla. They shall fight each other over the Red Stone and Element of Harmony! I shall fight both of you, Kars."
"What!?" "This woman..." "Eh!?"
Soul, Kars, and JoJo all were surprised by her offer, but Wham chuckled lowly, silencing himself as Kars stood from his throne.
"Wham!"
"Forgive me, but I am merely excited. Things truly have come out unexpected."
"... Woman. You've got guts. I stand with my own daughter on this one, believing this is all a mere bluff. However I like these terms, and so I agree. Nothing more sweet than a vain victory. Descendants of the Hamon Clan-"
"It's- Fuck it, Hamon."
"We shall show you that on the top of the food chain, there are no foes."
"We need a proper place for this, Father. A real arena for a battle of the ages."
"If I may then."
"Ho ho~!, Tezla? You speak up before Wham? What could have brought on that?"
She stared at Pinkie Pie intently. She could read her before but now, it was if she was looking at a mirror. No, in her mind she knew the tables had turned from the time they had met in Rome.
"Tonight is a full moon. It must be fate, and as such we shall start at that time. As for the place, at the foot of the Piz Berlina, fifteen kilometers south-east from here. There stands the antique stone circle called the 'Skeleton Heel Stone'. It's a megalithic construction ancient humans erected to look at the stars, but it later became an arena where numerous warriors met an either glorious or deathly fate!"
"A stone circle?!"
"Oi! Who said you could select such a favorable course?!"
A vampire leapt down and shoved a finger in JoJo's face.
"Don't think you're on an equality here, dumbass!"
"What'd you just call me-"
Before he could finish, Pinkie had already thrown the vampire to the ground without him noticing. He looked up to see Pinkie glaring down at him. He squirmed away from her best he could and ran to Kars.
"H-Help Master! They can't do that can they?!"
"Useless fodder."
With a swipe, the upper half of the vampire's body had been consumed by Kars.
"JoJo! Tonight you shall bring the Red Stone to the stone circle., without the bomb, as we shall be taking the woman hostage. Take this violent girl with you."
"It looks like the death of her companion affected her much more severely than we thought. Hurts, doesn't it, girl?"
Pinkie Pie said nothing and left with JoJo, passing by Caesar's tomb, and carrying Messina back in the evening cold.
"Pinkie I-"
"The next thing you're gonna say is, 'I'm worried about all this shit.'"
"I'm worried about all this shit- Huh!?"
"I am too, y'know. But we've gotta do what we gotta do, and right now it looks like all we can do is fight."
"... You really did change."
She answered with a simple shrug and made it back to the empty inn. They had tended to Messina's severed hand and opened Lisa Lisa's suitcase, finding the Red Stone inside, as well as an open picture box.
"Jackpot! And not surprise time bomb either."
"No, but what about this picture of Granma Erina?"
"Picture of what now? H-Hold up, on the other frame, that young lad there is Uncle Speedwagon!"
"And Straights, holding a baby? Y-You don't think that Lisa Lisa is the baby in the picture, do you?"
"This was taken in May twenty-second, nineteen-eighty-nine, fifty years ago! It can't be her."
"... D-Did Loggins and Messina never tell you?"
"What?"
"JoJo, if your Hamon strong like ours you live for like, centuries. Like, almost alicorn years."
"What!? Those bastards never told me that!"
Following Tezla's directions from before, they had come across the stone circle at night. The crowd of vampires circling the edge as Tezla alone stood in the middle of the race track of the stone circle, Wham sitting eyes closed, both wearing a whole new attire than before. It was light and as usual revealing. Kars and Soul both sat in their thrones on a balcony that hung over the stone circle. The moon hanging low but not yet fully risen. JoJo held up the Red Stone and lit a match, holding it close as a small but powerful beam shot into the sky. Lisa Lisa approached them , her hand outstretched for the Red Stone. JoJo placed it in her hand, as Pinkie placed the picture box in her hand as well.
"... It seems I have some explaining to do."
"Who are you?"
"JoJo, you've heard how your own grandfather sacrificed his life to save your grandmother, but did you know they had saved a baby from that sinking ship? They did, fifty years ago, I am the baby on the picture."
Pinkie elbowed JoJo in the side who was still in shock of the reveal.
"Told ya playa."
"B...B...B...B...But! I-If that was fifty years ago... HOW OLD ARE YOU!?"
"Light the flame!"
At the center of the circle, a large furious fire roared to life. A faint rumbling heard in the distance closing in fast as the rubble on the ground began to shake.
"It looks like we've run out of time to chat. Make me proud, Joseph, Pinkamena."
"We will, but-"
"What's that rumbling though?"
Wham smiled as he stood up, a giant hoof coming down on one of the vampires. Two chariots with huge horses baring fangs trampled all in their way headed straight for him.
"What in the Hell!? Those aren't horse, more like fucking dinosaurs!"
"I think their as big as Princess Luna... Maybe even a bit bigger!"
They split up, one coming at JoJo, reigning in early enough for them to stop galloping. Yet they still couldn't hold still and thrashed about. The ones headed for Wham stopped dead in their tracks as he made eye contact with them.
"These are a fine breed, even before the Stone Mask, excellent!"
"How the fuck do I tame these things? With Hamon?"
Lisa Lisa grabbed the reins and soon they indeed calmed down significantly.
"It looks like it. Sending a bit of Hamon inside the reins may help you ride them rather than actually trying to force them. How odd."
"Master did you just say-"
"Pinkie Pie I'll slap so hard you'll fly around the world and back. Now get over to your opponent this instant."
"... You said Hamon."
"Pinkie!-"
She grinned at her running over to the arena, her smile fading away as she looked at Tezla. JoJo and Wham both entered their chariots and made their way to the starting line. Lisa Lisa joined Kars and Soul at the balcony.
"Remember! When the full moon rises and shines after clouds pass, that is when the race begins! A traditonal chariot race between JoJo and Wham! And a traditional fight between Tezla and Pinkie Pie!
"In the race, it will be like that of the times of Rome. The opponents shall race around the ring while fighting each other. There are no real laps, the race ends when one dies!"
"As for our ground fighters, your main goal is to end the other. Interference in this match is not only allowed!"
"It is promoted! Teamwork is something both sides are renowned for!"
"We shall see then, who is truly the better fighter!"
Wham looked up at the moon as did everyone else in anticipation, save for JoJo, Pinkie, and Tezla. JoJo leapt from his chariot and began to clear the rocks around his wheels while Tezla and Pinkie Pie stared at each other.
"... I-"
"Don't waste your breath."
"That's my line. You are the one with Hamon."
"And I intend on beating you senseless with it after what you did."
Pinkie held up Caesar's headband and tied it around her head, wearing the ring on her index finger.
"In fact, I don't think a beating will do. Tezla, get ready."
"I never thought I'd see this side of you. I didn't think it existed."
Around the same time, JoJo and Wham were also having their own discussion. JoJo placing the ring on his pinkie finger.
"Hey, how long is this track?"
"A single lap is nine hundred and sixty meters long. These vampire horses can do it in a minuet."
"A whole minuet..."
"I'll also tell you this JoJo. See that pillar towards the first turn, we shall receive a new weapon, one for each lap and only one. As of this first lap, it is a two handed war-hammer!"
"Ugh!"
"I'm expecting an excellent fight from you both."
The moon was coming out, in only a few moments would the battle begin. Lisa Lisa had noticed JoJo wasn't in his chariot.
"JoJo! What're you doing!? Get in the chariot now!"
"Yeah, yeah, gimmie a second!"
"There's no time, hurry!"
"Hold on dammit, I gotta make sure I get a good lead, Oh My God."
"JOJO! ! !"
The moon had shone beautifully as Kars brought his hand down, right as JoJo leap into the chariot and both warriors flew from their place. Or rather they would have had Wham not hit an actual large bump in the track early, giving him a horrible start.
"Hehehehe~! I played a trick on you~~!"
"How did- We were all too focused on the moon!"
"He played us all right before our eyes and we still didn't see him..."
As the two raced each other on one end the girls rushed each other on the other end. Tezla singing as Pinkie cartwheeled to the left, her foot caught once more by that strange wind. She used her free hand to attempt to tie Tezla's ankles together with the thin fabric wire, however not only did she jump, Pinkie was in the middle of a handstand, not yet finishing the cartwheel. Flashing a kick with her shin bone forming an armor like guard from the Hamon, she struck Pinkie by the side and swung her away. Recovering with a flip she saw Tezla right in front of her about to give her an earful of her voice. Pinkie countered with a head-butt to the nose, yet Tezla was anticipating this and stretched her head up to clamp down on the skull. Before the fangs could meet skin, they were stopped by Pinkie's hair stiffening out with Hamon as the jaw was stopped by her bare hands. Using the weak Hamon, she propelled Tezla from her. A few moments before that instant, Wham had smashed the obstacle with the chariot by using his own strength to lift and crush it, the horses gaining on JoJo.
"Phew! I'm a good thirty meters ahead, and we're coming up on the pillar! With a track like this, no accidents can happen, not easily at least."
He began to close in on the weapon soon, victory at hand in his eyes.
"Here we go, Here we go, Here we go~! Come to me sweet lil' brain basher!"
It was a successful grab, but the shock from grabbing it at such a speed caused him to falter, as did his grip on it. It fell from his hands but he managed to save it by hitching it to the antidote ring. Swinging it back to his hand and coating it in an oil bottle he kept for conducting items with Hamon. He turned near overjoyed at the plans he began to come up with in his head.
"Come at me, Wham! I'll wreck you with this bab- OH ! NO ! !"
Wham had taken the entire pillar itself, a clear intent of death on his face. They had just past Pinkie and Tezla, who had seemingly been hit by JoJo's chariot and vanished. Pinkie barely escaped Wham's horses and looked around. Tezla was completely gone. Upon reflex she raised a hand to defend the right side of her upper body, but found the left side of her torso had been struck instead. Before she could react, she was struck with a blow to her chin, lifting her just above the ground. Pulled back down to Earth by her scarf, she hit the ground with a hard thud, and coughed up blood. She was lifted into the air again but began to blow bloody Hamon bubbles from her mouth. Hamon Cutters. Flying into the body of Tezla, using the wind suit to hide. Hissing loudly she threw Pinkie by the fire. Her knuckles and right knee were burnt from touching her. She looked to the side and saw an incoming chariot. Wham had slammed the pillar down onto JoJo's chariot, forcing him to leap out from being a pulp. Wham took this opportunity to run him over, but JoJo rushed the chariot with the war-hammer in hand against all odds, and struck the harness connecting the horses. Using the weapon as a rotation axis, his body was thrown into the air and landed onto p of the horse on Wham's right.
"NIIIIIICE~! NOW YOU'RE FIN- Yo what?"
Wham had now vanished. Then he felt it, a grip on his foot. JoJo's blood ran cold as he remembered with both Santana and ACDC.
"Tha-That's right! They can enter any body without actually affecting it! SHHHHIIIIIIT-"
It was at the last possible moment, JoJo escaped Wham's grip by leaping and losing his boot. He landed on the other horse, unaware of the sudden jolt through the entire chariot. He brought down the war-hammer as hard as he could with enough Hamon to blast open the horse.
"IT'S OVER NOW!"
Then he saw it and felt the same feeling Caesar had. That tinge of fear of making a horribly fatal mistake. Not only did Wham pop up faster than he expected, but Tezla had too. Both upper torso free. However what caused him to pale was the fact Tezla did not do what she did in Rome. She copied her Master down to the muscle. Had it not been for Pinkie, he would have died right there. She too surprised them, despite her injuries she made it in between them and JoJo and used her special net to shield them from...
"Wind Mode: Holy Sandstorm!" "Wind Mode: Holy Sandstorm!"
It had already nearly finished, both targets torn apart by the winds, or that's what should have happened to them. They landed in the smashed chariot, bleeding profusely but nowhere as bad as they were the first time they were struck with it.
"What?! How did they survive their double Sandstorm?! No one, not even I, dared to try their luck at it and only suffer minimal damage such as that!"
"Father... Their arms."
"! ! ! No... Th-That's impossible!"
Wham, with a glazed look in his eyes full of confusion and loss. Tezla in a similar state, both had their arms torn apart badly, ready to fall right off if not thanks to their healing factor. Even then, they were almost lifeless. Pinkie and JoJo sat up grinning madly as they high fived each other in the chariot.
"We played another trick on yoooou! ! !" "We played another trick on yoooou! ! !"
"How! HOW COULD THEY HAVE SURVIVED THAT!?"
Soul stood from her throne, with Kars holding a hand out stopping her.
"This is their fight, have faith."
Lisa Lisa didn't dare hide her emotions for once and chuckled.
"If you're truly wondering how they did it, it's quite simple. They're not just cheating geniuses, they're ungodly lucky. Kars, Soul, I'd be willing to bet, nothing on this Earth can kill those two. If they were released into the world like this, I'd fear for any form of government. Look around their waist."
"The horses' reins!"
"That means that they..."
"That's right. Pinkie's net didn't contain the attack at all, it was a distraction for them, for JoJo to grab the horse reins with his toes and wound them around Wham's arms. It seems that net was long enough to reach Tezla as well as Pinkie must have done the same to her with it. I don't know where Pinkie got those open toed sandals, but if not for those, they would have suffered greatly."
It was the beginning of the second lap. Tezla's arms healing much faster due to the fabric wire being barely as thick as the horse reins. However they both had stayed in a dazed state. All their years of their pride. The pride of being untouchable. Tezla, a vanguard, an immovable and unstoppable force to those that opposed her Master. And Wham, a true fighting genius of millenniums. However Kars had used his mode to emit a flash signal as all four of them began to come upon the broken pillar, with JoJo and Pinkie taking the lead. Two vampires acted as a pillar with one standing on top of the other, holding two crossbows in their hands. One large, one roughly the size of that for a normal human. Both with two steel bullets.
"Those steel bullets measure from five point eight centimeters in diameter and weigh in five kilograms."
"So powerful even Master Wham would have his head blown off with a headshot. Will they use a oil coated bullet to charge it with Hamon?"
"Woman, Lisa Lisa, you're most likely wondering why I chose those weapons with such confidence, right?"
"..."
"Hmhmhm. It's because despite their current status, Wham and Tezla are far from over!"
High level athletes have a healing method called "Switching Winback"! It's a way for them, in crucial and desperate situations, to drive away in a corner of their mind the fear and shock sustained during a competition, just like a switch, so as to only display their fighting spirit. In those moments, in order to activate their mental switch, athletes have different personal rituals. Like changing clothes or instruments, more violent the shock, more exceptional the needed ritual! And Wham and Tezla's were clear to them! Wham had gouged his eyes as Tezla poked deep inside her ears, destroying the eardrums. He wrapped his arms around her as his horn came out as she held onto him. Both leaping from the horse and back into the chariot. Wham taking the reins and Tezla acting as his other pair of arms.
"U-Ugh! What'd he do that for?"
"So you lost your eyes and hearing!"
"We've already lost more than that! BRING IT!"
Without even acknowledging the vampires, JoJo took the larger crossbow easily. Wham had grabbed the smaller one without any help as Tezla began to sing loudly. Pinkie then elbowed JoJo.
"I don't know how she does it, I think it's something within her windpipe that causes the wind to come out of her mouth to become something like a mini holy sandstorm! It's not visible either, but if you hear a whistling like sound, move!"
"G-Gotcha. That explains a lot from earlier."
The chariot finally broke apart. All that remained was the harness itself being dragged by the horses. JoJo using his teeth to steer with Hamon as Pinkie tried to help him crank the crossbow. It was almost useless to even try. Wham pulled his back easily and aimed as Tezla took over driving. Parts of the track being cut up and diced due to her voice.
"With this first bullet, I shall assess the wind!"
He fired, even the harness breaking up as they leapt onto a horse each, only for JoJo's horse to have it's head blown away from the steel bullet Wham fired, and the back legs torn apart by Tezla's voice. He wondered how Wham could aim with such horrifying accuracy when blind if Tezla wasn't directing him. It was the horn, it could read the motions of the wind, even with his protégé's singing, he could feel the area like a radar, the subtle changes in the duo's breathing. JoJo hopped onto Pinkie's horse before he could fall with it. She then pulled the horse to the center as Wham aimed, going right through the fire. Tezla could only stare at them, but not even her wind would make through the fierce fire. The two were symmetrical with their opponents. Then Wham aimed away from them and at the ring of the track, firing the bullet as it didn't just hit the wall directly. No, due to the trajectory of the shot, it was if it was gliding, rolling on the wall before rebounding and coming at JoJo directly. Hitting him in his side. Due to it being a rebound shot, even as it dug into his body, it didn't go through his skin. He fell off gasping and panting, with Pinkie leaping off the horse and running to his side. Unbeknownst to anyone, JoJo was still trying to fire the crossbow, even as he laid their limp. He heard a click from it and armed it a subtly as he could. Just as they were in range, JoJo swung the crossbow, aimed right at their heads with Pinkie keeping it steady. Unfortunately their injuries caught up with them as JoJo coughed up blood and Pinkie shuddered violently spitting up some herself. The crossbow fell out of their hands as it fired away into the fire. The chariot stopped. Wham and Tezla both towered over them.
"Here we are before you, JoJo, Pinkie."
"What will you do now?!"
"... S-S-Stay away!"
"Don't get any closer! Spare me! Please!?"
"I don't want to die!"
They started throwing rocks at them, begging for their lives as the vampires threw insults and jeers at them. Wham and Tezla growled at their rivals actions. Then they giggled past their pain.
"W-Wham, Tezla."
"Since we know how freaky it is at how in synch you two are as a team."
"We'll both predict what you'll say next. It's..."
"'Don't you dare dishonor our fight, you curs!'" "'Don't you dare dishonor our fight, you curs!'"
"Don't you dare dishonor our fight, you curs!" "Don't you dare dishonor our fight, you curs!"
Before they could react, Wham had pushed Tezla down, at that moment, the bullet exploded through his chest. The hole glistening with Hamon energy. Like the smile of a jack o' lantern. Tezla was mortified. not only did she fail to save her Master, he had saved her from losing her head. JoJo stood up and hobbled over to them as Wham fell off, almost doing a full front flip, but JoJo saw the real intention. Wham flashed kicks upon turning, attempting to take away the boy's shoulders.
"I can see it Wham! YOU'RE DESPERATE!"
He used his elbows to deflect the attack, his Hamon returning in the nick of time, and blasted his knees with Hamon power as he flew away. Tezla screeched as she lunged for JoJo, but Pinkie intercepted her with flying kick to her face. Sending her over with Wham and a nasty glowing foot mark to go with the flight. Kars was sweating, nervous and shocked, he couldn't have believed what he was seeing. Neither could Soul. Although her face was of shock, she managed to hold her cries and venomous words for the two humans killing her very family. To her she had already lost a father and a sister. Lisa Lisa was on edge, never has her heart pounded so furiously before. Truly this was a battle to be remembered forever in her memory. Wham was knees up on the ground, his arms gone, not that they would do him any good in their condition. The Holy Sandstorm was no more. Yet he turned to JoJo and Pinkie.
"The wounds I sustained... Are parts of my body too! The damages I have been inflicted with are parts of my power! I will use everything..."
His hands poked out of the new hole in his chest before shooting off like a rocket and slammed JoJo to the wall right before the fire. The heat licking his head as he sat there held by the severed arms.
"TO ACHIEVE VICTORY!"
"Daddy!"
"G-Gah! I-I can barely breathe... Pin-Pinkie! A lil' help!"
"I'm pulling and striking as hard as I can but-"
"Final Mode!"
That had caught everyone's attention. Even JoJo couldn't help but stare in awe as the Pillar Man began to piece by piece blow up. Large tubes of bone sucking in vast amounts of air.
"WHAM! STOP, THE FIGHT IS OVER, THAT IS AN ORDER- He cannot hear me... Even if he did, he wouldn't stop."
"This can't be. Master Wham, forced into a corner like this!?"
"Final Mode: Converging Squall!"
His horn began to spin with great speed as the wind entrapped in his body was pushed out with an amazing pressure. Like a wind scalpel, cutting through stone easily. But his body was showing progressive damage.
"Due to being near the flames, I cannot see you as clearly, but know that I will cut you both into pieces!"
JoJo pulled out the source of his oil, a glass bottle still halfway full with oil, and placed it in the fire with his hand. The wind then cut his ear, grazing it, but cutting enough for him to yelp out in pain.
"THERE YOU ARE-"
"EAT SHIT ALREADY!"
Throwing the bottle at Wham, like some form of incendiary bomb. Tezla, singing her deadly song, cut the bottle up, as the oil and fire flew everywhere, but nowhere near Wham. Pinkie unwrapped the head band and set it aflame, stiffening it with Hamon before throwing it like a spear at Wham, with the same results as before.
"You've wasted enough time! It was a good fight, JoJo and Pinkie, BUT WE HAVE WON! Now, TO CUT YOU IN HALF!"
"Wham. You lost."
"Because the fire on Caesar's head band as well as the fire from JoJo's Hamon oil bottle hasn't been put out."
"It's being sucked through your very tubes."
"Goody bye." "See ya."
Wham had exploded from the inside out. Tezla being close to him suffered heavy damage, despite being in one piece. As she opened her heavy eyes she found Wham's head alone had survived, and a glaring Pinkie Pie staring down at her. Wham simply coughed ashes as JoJo stood over him.
"It's finally over... JoJo."
"... Yeah."
"You've avenged Caesar."
"... Yeah."
"Then, deliver the final blow."
"YEAH!"
JoJo struck with much of his reserved strength, hitting the ground next to Wham's head. He raised the hand over his wound at the base of his throat, and clenched his fist, blood pouring from the wound made from the impact into Wham's injury.
"What are you doing!?"
"I'm pouring my blood into your wound to ease your pain. I know how uncomfortable Hamon can be to your body. It must feel awful."
"H..HOW DARE YOU!? DO YOU WANT TO HUMILATE ME FURTHER WITH YOUR PITY?! I WON'T ALLOW IT!"
"Is that what you call this? Pity? Is that what you gave to Caesar when you left the bubble simply floating for us?"
"That was to honor him, to commend his valiant heart! A great warrior was he, who deserved my respect... Ha!-"
"Next you'll say, 'But, JoJo you don't mean...'"
"But, JoJo you don't mean..."
"I do Wham. Even as I grieve Caesar, I want to respect you... So, this blood is my tribute."
"... Hehehe... I have been beaten in every way, JoJo you have pulled yourself above even me."
With Pinkie and Tezla, the silence was great as they stared at each other before Tezla finally broke it.
"... You've beaten us."
"..."
"You have every right to feel the way you do..."
"..."
"Finish it."
"I will."
She dove for her fist aimed for the ground, not Tezla at all. Pinkie near breaking both of her hands as blood poured down from the wounds. Her hair was a fluffy mess as it always was, and her old giant beaming smile returned.
"PHEW~! I couldn't stand acting like that any longer! Do you know how much of a downer I had to be to get the advantage on you two? Yeesh, I'll be sure to NEVER be that serious in my life again, if at all!"
"Wh-What!?"
"Yeah! All an act from the beginning! W-Well except crying for Caesar, that was pretty real."
"You faked all that anger and animosity?"
"Oh no, I was pretty mad, believe~ me! But didn't I tell you when we met? Everyone deserves a second chance! This blood- Oh gimmie a second."
She elbowed herself lightly where she was struck, coughing up only a small amount of blood onto the legs of Tezla before helping and holding her up.
"That's gross, but should work! Anyways, this blood of mine, consider it a formal apology for all this."
"You... You truly are something special."
Tezla couldn't stop the tears welling in her eyes. Then the vampiric bystanders could watch no longer.
"KILL THEM!"
"KILL THAT BASTARD!"
"GET THE BITCHES!"
Lisa Lisa prepared to fend for herself, surprised that Soul sang a strange tune as her Voice burnt most of the vampires after her to cinders. Wham was also unforgiving.
"What form of betrayal is this!?"
Using the big crossbow as well as his hair, he fired himself using his horn to drill and mow down any and almost all vampires rushing at the two winded warriors. Eventually his horn broke as he fell at the feet of Pinkie Pie and Tezla. JoJo ran over shocked.
"Wham!" "Daddy!"
"... I am Wham. Although in service to Kars until my very last breath, I refuse to let such scum attack you in your state. It's not sentimentality. It is merely respect for the strong... But you, dear Tezla- No, Sonata. Are different. Your life was never meant to be one like this. Even you share my ideals of immortality."
"That it means nothing!-"
"And that to die by the code of an honorable warrior is the true way of life, for a warrior. I see now... So many different lives. Hehehe, it's sad isn't it? That I can finally grasp this as I lay blind. Perhaps I have lived all these years just to meet you two. JoJo, Pinkie, drink the antidote rings."
"How will you know?"
"I do not need eyes, a horn, or even words to know. Merely the motion is enough. Before I vanish, do it."
They didn't hesitate, and right then as they took it, were cured completely. Free from any immediate danger within their own bodies.
"And as you free yourselves, I free you, Sonata Dusk. Go, and live the way you were meant to live... Fare... we.l.l... My... chi..l..d."
He became one with the wind, his ashes flying in the wind as tears strolled down Sonata's cheeks. JoJo gave him a final salute with Pinkie. Kars caught pieces of the ashes and held them close to him as he remembered Wham from years ago. The same Wham who had spared three children of a Hamon clan, and took them in. Has they not denied their humanity long ago, Kars himself would have killed them. Soul couldn't stop but let one tear fall.
"He was too pure for this world, even as a warrior. That was his weakness."
The vampires began murmuring amongst themselves, three nearby were speaking ill of Wham. Those three were impaled by Kars, and absorbed as he and Soul removed their head wraps. Kars' strange dark violet hair, so beautiful that the Dark Knight Bruford would be green with envy. Soul's own hair, a bright orange, was just as if not even more regal than that of her Masters. Both took a fighting stance with their Shining Sabers.
"So it seems that I, Kars."
"And I, Soul."
"Are last of the Pillar Men."
"But in reality, there can only be one at the top!"
The vampires began murmuring again before one yelled out for them.
"Well we'll fight with you this time! Only a handful of us left, but we're enough to kick the shit out of them!"
Lisa Lisa killed the closest vampire before pulling out the Red Stone and aiming it at them.
"Didn't I already tell you idiots? It's my match with Kars and Soul. Now."
"I have already dealt with those who speak for me, only Soul can do such a thing."
"Come, woman. Our arena shall be different."
"The Ruins of Piz Berlina Temple!"
"It is here that the ancient winners of the chariot races would come to give thanks to their gods, and drink the defeated enemies blood mixed with alcoholic offerings!"
"It's not a real arena, but the architecture should add to the fight."
"Lisa Lisa! They look weaker than Wham, me and Pinkie can take care of them!"
She scoffed and unstrapped the medium skirt she wore, giving her more mobility.
"As if! My life hasn't been so peaceful that I'd hide behind a boy and girl not even in their twenties!"
"Yeah JoJo, she doesn't need us at all, trust me on that."
Lisa Lisa scaled the monolith easily to stand where Kars and Soul was, high above the ground, strange crystals growing from the ground below acting as spikes.
"We use the Light Mode of the Bright Sabers."
"We'll tarnish the memory of our family if you do not use a weapon!"
"This scarf is enough, it barely was cut up by your guard."
"So I see..."
They waved their hands, almost in a graceful dance, keeping their eyes on her intently. Lisa Lisa felt something was off, no intention of a fighter, no aggression in their movements and expressions.
"Will you not make the first move? Then we will."
They licked their Sabers giving Lisa Lisa a small chill down her spine as they rushed to her, their speed almost like lightning striking the sky. Still she could block just in time. However a bright light flashed throughout the areas from the Sabers, and as it died down, neither of them were there. Lisa Lisa couldn't see them, looking around, stepping carefully on the structure. As she came past a pillar, an arm came out, with Kars lunging at her.
"Bright Saber Mo- AGH!"
Half of his head had been blown away by a quick kick by Lisa Lisa, wagging a finger at the defeated Pillar Men. She had dodged using her scarf as a standing tool, hardening it with Hamon.
"You shouldn't yell out your attacks before you use them."
"I couldn't agree more."
A loud squelch, a sickening spray of blood flew in the air. As she recovered she never noticed Kars standing behind her, stabbing her clean through her chest in a strange angle. The man on the ground, his hair fell off, it was a vampire copy.
"Like I was actually going to fight you! The Red Stone was our goal from the beginning!"
Removing the Saber he brought it down on her again on her back, pulling the Red Stone off of her neck. As he held it up, smiling wickedly, he looked down at JoJo and Pinkie.
"Vampires! Finish off those worthless humans!"
JoJo gritted his teeth as he began striking at the incoming vampires, Sonata shaking out of her shocked stupor began to sing her deadly song, even Pinkie used what was left of her net to stave them off. However one vampire struck by JoJo didn't turn to ash, in fact his cheek was barely melting.
"Hey... Their getting weaker after all!"
The head of the vampire had been cut up horrible, but not completely destroyed, Sonata's voice was waning. Even Pinkie Pie's net was finally gone as the vampires tore what was left.
"You're all exhausted. Since the fight, you've been weakened to such a sorry state. Even as now, as your Hamon leaves you, I can see it. The fear of dying germinating within your very being! How long will you last, JoJo, Pinkie? Vampires! Remember your targets, even as she attacks, Tezla is still one of my own! No harm shall come to her."
"K-Kars... How could you!?"
As the vampires went for a final assault, they began to split apart and burn away into ashes. A strange thisck cloth flew over Sonata as UV lights from behind cleared the area near the trio. JoJo and Pinkie turned to see familiar faces.
Vampire Scum! You will have to deal with I, Von Stroheim, and the Nazi Protection Group now!"
"As well as the Speedwagon Foundation! Hope we're not late you two! I received that letter from your friend Aria, normal vampires may be blown to smithereens, but these lights are the same ones used on Santana! Even if we hit the girl, she shouldn't be in any trouble."
"You two always get into the strangest shit! But I'm still here for you two!"
"Stroheim! Uncle Speedwagon?! Even Smokey!?"
A whole unit made of both Nazi's and private soldiers of the Speedwagon Foundation wearing shoulder UV lamps began to spread the light as far as they could. Smokey and Speedwagon chuckled as Stroheim cackled madly as always.
"My right leg is a little stiff, but besides thaaaaat! I AM FULLY REPAIRED AND UPGRADED! BEHOLD THE POWER OF THE WORLD'D GREATEST SCIENCE COMING TOGETHER! ! !"
While everyone was caught off guard by the sudden Deus Ex Nazi, Pinkie had slipped away attempting to get up to Kars, but found Soul in the field of crystals.
"I'll deal with you myself, dirty trickster."
"Trickster is pretty right actually, but you're the dirty one!"
"Brainwashing my sisters, killing our fathers, you're the absolute worst!"
"You've been turning these guys into your own personal snack bar, and lied to our faces about honor, you're really on the low on low down people. Now gimmie back what belongs to me!"
"I don't want your pity. In fact you're a waste of time to deal with. So we'll end this, in one, single, move. One move for this jewel."
As Soul held up the Element of Harmony, Pinkie looked over to where Lisa Lisa and Kars stood, JoJo approaching him with unbridled rage. She could leave the rest to him, this needed her undivided attention. She sprinted focusing all the Hamon in her body to a single point. She knew exactly what Soul was planning.
"Whew. Okay then, one last gamble! I'll put everything I have into this! In fact. Soul, the next thing you'll say is, 'You and all of your power and tricks, are useless, useless, useless, USELESS BEFORE ME', right?!"
"You and all your power and tricks, are useless, Useless, USELESS, USELESS BEFORE ME!"
She opened her mouth and song loudly, broadly, the Voice of God shooting with a radiance unlike before. It was completely solid and humming, aiming straight for Pinkie Pie's head. Pinkie had nothing her to deflect this, and the crystals nearby would be melted away, she couldn't even dodge due it's speed. But she didn't plan on deflecting it, or dodging it, or even stopping it. No, she brought her hand up to the beam, charged with almost every bit of her Hamon she could muster in her body, and struck the beam. Soul's eyes widened in both shock and fear. Pinkie's hand didn't get blown off, instead, her attack was being cut in two as the young girl sped up to her. It ended in a flash. Pinkie had cut Soul's entire jaw off with her hand, a burning hot mess, but victory was hers. Soul took a few steps back, utterly horrified, only to double over with a sick feeling. Pinkie had shoved her fist into Soul's gut, forcing her to cough up several chunks of Red Stones.
"I knew shooting light itself from your body couldn't be possible, something had to make it, and there it is. Two secrets revealed in one move!"
"...?"
"You swallowed several Red Stones years ago, and in order to use them, each one amplifying the light from before, you... You were a Hamon user, all this time."
"...! ..."
"I'm not pitying you by sparing you. Think of our friendship, as the worst punishment you could ever imagine! I'll take that back now."
As Pinkie pocketed the Element, Soul rolled her eyes with a groan, as JoJo confronted Kars. His feelings clear as day on his face. Kars could only smile, that look on the boy's face, it pleased him greatly.
"I've only got to glance away before you seize the opportunity."
"You've gone too far! Tarnishing the honor of Wham like this, how dare you!?"
"Wham, ACDC, and the Sirens, all of us knew the ultimate goal was the Red Stone. We all had our own personal ways of achieving our goals! This way is mine, the most efficient way! Like a large game of chess, pieces by pieces, I lured you all to my trap. Welcome JoJo, to Die!"
"Never, Kars! Never before, not even Straights nor Wham and ACDC, have I felt this much hate for anything in my life!"
"Then face me boy! Throw yourself at me with your hatred! And know this woman, is my pawn in this ongoing chess game!"
"Ugh!"
Kars held up Lisa Lisa by the legs.
"Hmhmhm~! The angle of my saber was to miss her vital organs. She's still breathing. Now why would I leave such a dangerous Hamon user alive?"
"It's... Ripple..."
"Aww, she's sleep talking. But she's completely unaware. With this piece, JoJo, I can play you both like a guitar."
JoJo snarled as Kars began to play air guitar on her legs.
"... Assho-"
"HA!"
Without warning he stabbed a hole through both of her feet. He pulled a rope from his hair a through it over a platform hanging over them.
"Now why, JoJo, would I tie her feet to this rope?"
"Y-You wouldn't-"
He kicked her over the edge as JoJo barely caught the rope.
"Now, as you are, I can pick you like one would pick a flower. I could cut her rope at any time. YOUR LIVES ARE IN MY HANDS!"
"KARS YOU PIECE OF FUCKING CUM DRINKING DICK WAFFLE! YOU'RE SO DISGUSTING, YOU'RE WORSE THAN A ROTTING PUMPKIN, SO MOLDY NOT EVEN FUCKING MAGGOTS OR FLIES WOULD GO NEAR YOU!"
"... Go on~! I love it when you think you can come up with a plan and just make things up-"
"FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"
"Now then, t-"
A loud bang echoed throughout the area as Kars noticed a chunk of his shoulder had suddenly be blown away. As he fell he saw the cause. Smokey and Pinkie fired the Party Cannon right at him.
"I didn't know you knew how to aim Smokey!"
"I don't!"
Kars felt it. Hamon in his body coursing through his wound. He fell face first and laid there in the crystals. Stroheim cackled madly and pointed at Kars as the solders brought in a giant UV lamp in the middle of being charged to fire at Kars specifically.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! DIIIIIE, KARS! YOU CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE THE PLEASURE I HAVE GIVING THE ORDER TO KILL YOU NOW!"
Just as JoJo made his way down and reunited with the group carrying an unconscious Lisa Lisa.
"Smokey! Pinkie! You saved me a lot of trouble, but something just doesn't feel right about all this."
"JoJo, I think you're right. It feels, too easy-"
"GYAH!"
They turned to see why the German screeched in fear rather in triumph. Kars had turned his head revealing he had worn a Stone Mask, the Red Stone placed in a slot on the forehead. Speedwagon's skin paled as he remembered what he heard of the Pillar Men.
"STROHEIM, THE UV LIGHTS! TURN THEM OFF NOW!"
"YOU HEARD THEM DON'T FIR-"
It was on auto lock. The UV lamp fired without warning. There was nothing they could do.
"THIS CAN'T BE ! ! ! ! !"
It hit the target on point, enveloping Kars in the glorious light. The Red Stone shined furiously as the Stone Mask activated. Spikes upon spikes protruded out and dug into his skull. As the light died down, a new glow from Kars' body. Only his skeleton was clear. It was a universe was being born inside his body. Everyone was horrified as the Mask shattered into pieces and flew from his face, as did the Red Stone. Kars had achieved his goal of becoming the Perfect Being.
Princess Luna had to look away from the bright ultraviolet light coming from the Kars piece on the board. As her eyes adjusted and she looked back, the piece became more like a large statue, hovering over the entire board.
"W-What is that!?"
"T. H. E. E. N. D. G. A. M. E."